News of the day

[Pepe]

For a lot of the same reasons as people coming to their doctor and demanding antibiotics for a viral sore throat has disastrous consequences.

Doctors could GROW A SPINE and say no.

[Ian]

They're not spine doctors, mate.

[randomlegend]

Doctors could GROW A SPINE and say no.

Many do, but that creates its own issues.

[bruhnaldo]

This entire post is a perfect advert for what's wrong with advertising drugs to the public. You don't understand what's being advertised or the impact it has at all.

It's very strange to argue with someone who constantly sets out for you what your own argument is, and then tries to tell you why you're wrong, when you never made that argument in the first place.

Ironically if anything I've tried to beef your "argument" up beyond "they shouldn't advertise medicines to people who might ask their doctor for a prescription to treat the ailments said medicine says it can heal."

[randomlegend]

Ironically if anything I've tried to beef your "argument" up beyond "they shouldn't advertise medicines to people who might ask their doctor for a prescription to treat the ailments said medicine says it can heal."

My argument doesn't need "beefing up" (read: changed to an entirely different and wrong argument). My argument is correct as I stated it.

[Spikey M]

I saw an advert for Cetirizine Hydrochloride on BRITISH TV the other day. :o

[randomlegend]

Which you can buy in Tesco's.

[Yevrah]

Reading this recycling seems even more farcical than I thought it was.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49280709

And seeing that nearly 80% of it ends up in landfill is absolutely ridiculous. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with us?

[Ian]

I know there was a big fuss (by local news standards) that most of what was getting 'recycled' in Lincolnshire was just being shipped to China or somewhere to be burned. Which was a fuss not just for the environmental reasons but a bunch of the local councils at the time were going big on whatever fines it was they were allowed to hand out.

[Disco]

All of mine ends up in landfill because it all goes in the same bin.

[Giggles]

'Recycling' is only another means of gouging people for more money. All this environment shite is.

[Shindig]

I just go off packaging and if that says it's okay to get blue binned, it gets done. What the council do with it is their business.

[Pepe]

I am they don't recycle in the new place I moved to, because it is a (minor) pain in the ass.

[SincereTheRebel]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7378729/Sun-worshiper-37-refused-mortgage-spends-300-month-buying-illegal-tanning-drugs.html

[bruhnaldo]

"Melanotan"

That is fucking gold.

[mikem]

https://appleinsider.com/articles/19/08/21/apple-says-clean-apple-card-with-a-microfiber-cloth-avoid-contact-with-leather-and-denim/

This is so on brand for Apple.

[phonics]

Yeah, they're absolutely at sea these days.

Still blows my mind that Steve Jobs had to be the one to tell them that, No, it is not okay for your iPhone, a product for your pocket, can get scratched by basic contact with metal such as keys. They had to stop production and throw out tens of thousands of phones.

[Boydy]

Do people not keep their phone in a pocket by itself?

[Giggles]

Anyone putting a phone in a pocket with keys deserves to be publicly flogged, let alone end up with a scratched phone.

[Shindig]

Mine's with a leather wallet. My iPod is very fucked though.

[Spikey M]

Yeah, they're absolutely at sea these days.

Still blows my mind that Steve Jobs had to be the one to tell them that, No, it is not okay for your iPhone, a product for your pocket, can get scratched by basic contact with metal such as keys. They had to stop production and throw out tens of thousands of phones.

I'd be happy with a charging port that doesn't suck pocket fluff in.

[mikem]

It’s a credit card, not a phone. A credit card that can be damaged by leather or denim.

[Giggles]

1164536252206669824

[Spoonsky]

I'd be happy with a charging port that doesn't suck pocket fluff in.

I spent a week thinking my phone was broken and couldn't charge any more, brought it into the specialist store and it took the guy 30 seconds to take out some pocket lint with tweezers. :D

[mugbull]

Yeah, they're absolutely at sea these days.

Still blows my mind that Steve Jobs had to be the one to tell them that, No, it is not okay for your iPhone, a product for your pocket, can get scratched by basic contact with metal such as keys. They had to stop production and throw out tens of thousands of phones.
Hmmm sounds like a retard

[Queenslander]

Lol



Magpies taking over woman's Brisbane home, lured through dog door by pet food

https://7news.com.au/news/animals/magpies-taking-over-womans-brisbane-home-lured-through-dog-door-by-pet-food-c-415382

[phonics]

A Bobsleigh guy has just been banned for 4 years for doping.

What are PEDs doing for that?

[niko_cee]

Explosive power at the start.

[Shindig]

It's why all the best ones are Jamaican.

[Giggles]

Legs as big as Spikeys cock.

[randomlegend]

A Bobsleigh guy has just been banned for 4 years for doping.

What are PEDs doing for that?

https://digitalcontent.api.tesco.com/v1/media/ghs/snapshotimagehandler_327160304.jpeg?h=540&w=540

Additional thrust.

[mikem]

https://www.wsj.com/articles/advertisers-allege-facebook-failed-to-disclose-key-metric-error-for-more-than-a-year-1539720524?redirect=amp#click=https://t.co/w9mGzBL99P

I am always amazed that this isn’t a bigger story simply because the media loves writing about itself.

[Spikey M]

Legs as big as Spikeys cock.

And just as fast :(

[niko_cee]

Other than the obvious, I know this is probably a daft question, what the fuck are the James Connolly Republican Flute Band up to organising an Irish Unity march in Glasgow?

[niko_cee]

Also, lol (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-49532427).

[Giggles]

Other than the obvious, I know this is probably a daft question, what the fuck are the James Connolly Republican Flute Band up to organising an Irish Unity march in Glasgow?

Brick them out of it, same as we did the last time the huns tried marching in Dublin.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-49551337

The state of that.

[Ian]

"Yes, my diagnosis is confirmed. This has been caused by you being a bit of a fucking moron."

I mean I suppose the parents are mostly to blame for letting him get to that stage at 13 or 14 or whatever it was when he went to the doctor.

[Queenslander]

Get that into ya.

https://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2019-09-03/the-australian-dream-tells-adam-goodes-story/11474058?pfmredir=sm&sf218616360=1

[phonics]

The news has been turned up to 11 for so long that sometimes it's nice to have one of the old classics come back around.

1168924393713688576

[niko_cee]

What kind of name is McKrae Game?

[phonics]

I gave up on American names when I saw an op-ed about how we should bomb Iran written by this guy:
https://i.imgur.com/5oQXH8I.png

[mugbull]

Arch Puddington sounds far more Old Etonian than Murican tbf

[Disco]

No Etonian would shorten it to 'Arch'.

[bruhnaldo]

Also, lol (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-49532427).


It is not the first time the couple have accused the airline of violating their linguistic rights. In 2014, the Supreme Court ruled that they could not sue Air Canada over a mistaken drink order on an international flight and would have to settle for an apology, the Toronto Sun reported.

You wanna meet some pretentious people go to Montreal and speak English.

[phonics]

1169703077043232772

I'm not even sure what to add...

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You could talk about their big noses or tightness with money.

[Disco]

Or how they control the media.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There's plenty you can add.

[Shindig]

He did it.

[Spikey M]

You could talk about their big noses or tightness with money.

:D

[SincereTheRebel]

Will he be wearing his yarmulke?

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-49589160

Bullshit. There's probably only about 6 personalities in the world.

[Queenslander]

Queensland is on fire.

https://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2019-09-09/queensland-fires-sunshine-coast-stanthorpe-beechmont-binna-burra/11490356?pfmredir=sm

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-09-09/queensland-fires-beechmont-binna-burra-applethorpe-continue/11490356

https://www.news.com.au/national/more-than-70-fires-burn-in-queensland/news-story/c185772156e958e1e7dd136eab8106bc


70 fires on the coast atm.

https://www.ruralfire.qld.gov.au/map/Pages/default.aspx

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-49641063

:lol:

[Ian]

I saw this.

I hate people who bitch about their parents spending "their" inheritance but if I was his kids I'd be fucking seething about that.

[Spikey M]

It's fucking mental.

Saying 'options do not apply. there's no case to answer' made me laugh as well. They've sent you a Notice telling you they intend to prosecute. That is literally a case to answer, and the option you want is option 3. Not guilty.

Geezer should have been a wank.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Boomers are an absolute shitshow of a race.

[Queenslander]

Boomers are an absolute shitshow of a race.

I reckon Australian boomers would be the most lol per capita.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If they're better than the middle England ones they are going some. Prowling the aisles of Marks & Spencer absolutely furious about house prices, parking spaces and younger people enjoying themselves.

[Alex]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49639222


Boycott 'doesn't give a toss' about knighthood criticism

What a headline.


"Asked about the criticism from Women's Aid by presenter Martha Kearney on BBC Radio 4's Today programme, Boycott responded: "I don't give a toss about her, love. It was 25 years ago so you can take your political nature and do whatever you want with it.""

I know I shouldn't laugh, but I can just hear him saying it. :D

[Lewis]

He never belted that woman. Poor bastard.

[Spikey M]

Knocked her for 6.

[Ian]

I do like that the implication he seems to give is that it's the BLOODY EU'S fault he got convicted by a French caught.

For a crime he (supposedly) committed...... in France.

[Queenslander]

If they're better than the middle England ones they are going some. Prowling the aisles of Marks & Spencer absolutely furious about house prices, parking spaces and younger people enjoying themselves.

Plenty of youth bashing. Ours on average do not believe in climate change and believe their is a conspiracy in the media to lean left instead of right.

[randomlegend]

I was listening when they did that Boycott interview. It was such a jarring change of tone when she threw that question in.

[Boydy]

Boomers are an absolute shitshow of a race.

1169364671456935936

[SvN]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-49675943

I don't understand this sort of thing. If you've got an allergy that can KILL YOU, surely when you eat out you double check everything and make sure it doesn't contain whatever you're allergic to?

[mugbull]

I’ve actually never heard of anyone with that severe of a dairy allergy. When people have one it’s usually flu-like symptoms at worst. Never thought it could give you the peanut treatment

[Shindig]

Didn't we just ban a dairylea advert because it showed a kid with a face full of cheese? Months after that kid died from having cheese flung at their face.

[Giggles]

Everything is banned now.

[mugbull]

*stomp stomp grumble grumble*

[Giggles]

It’s the likes of you that has everything fucked.

[mugbull]

My b

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-49705984

Yeah, it's cool lads, we'll go to war with China for you.

I'm no lover of 'The Empire', and I'm all for your freedom, but don't go making demands when your freedom bites you on the arse and a your neighbour tries to take over.

[Shindig]

Hong Kong pirated DVDs will be the backbone of a post-Brexit British economy.

[phonics]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-49705984

Yeah, it's cool lads, we'll go to war with China for you.

I'm no lover of 'The Empire', and I'm all for your freedom, but don't go making demands when your freedom bites you on the arse and a your neighbour tries to take over.

They never rebelled for freedom. We got the thing off China on a 99 year lease and gave it back.

[Lewis]

I quite liked the idea of letting them come and live here (assuming we could turn the taps off elsewhere to balance them out). They would make sensational immigrants.

[Lewis]

Another day, another out of touch judge (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-49718448):


As a regular competitor on the national and international stage, who has done well in bodybuilding, you are a disgrace to the sport and it is doubly sad, given how well you have done to overcome past behaviour and adversity... I hope you can make good the damage which you have done to your own reputation and to the sport.

Let's hope professional bodybuilding can quickly move past this scandal.

[Giggles]

His head looks badly photoshopped.

[Disco]

I can only imagine the type of meatheads buying roids in Barnstaple.

[John Arne]

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2019/sep/17/us-academic-given-two-weeks-pack-up-after-eight-years-visa-system-researchers

Fucking hell, cry me a river. Welcome to the real world of Visa's and Work Permits. I can't afford to fly myself and my family to the US to study at Harvard... so you know, I'm not going to.



One young Indian academic, who asked not to be named in case it prejudices his future visa applications, says the costs felt overwhelming, coming to Liverpool University from Mumbai with his wife and baby. “I had visa costs of around £2,500. We had to use my father’s retirement savings,” he says.

[Pepe]

Lol at an American complaining about anyone else's immigration system.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-49740880

We can't reward this stupidity. That's not how rules work.

[bruhnaldo]

I was expecting a much more serious story lol

[Shindig]

When I read the headline I wondered if she did one stateside and then travelled across on the same day to do the British one. Frankly, that'd be awesome.

[Giggles]

I've got my lunch there so many times.

www.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/horrifying-footage-shows-rat-climbing-20096079

[John]

When I read the headline I wondered if she did one stateside and then travelled across on the same day to do the British one. Frankly, that'd be awesome.

That thought is about as stupid as her registering for the wrong race.

[Shindig]

It would've been more newsworthy.

[phonics]

Honestly an top 10 of the era level of headline here

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/270326079648956433/624327995519270923/unknown.png

[niko_cee]

:D

It's a corker. The whole story is very amusing.

[John]

I'm not even sure it's the best of the month.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/sep/12/alleged-drug-gang-thwarted-by-giant-seal-in-1bn-australian-drug-bust

[Ian]

Not a current headline but I saw somebody mentioning a story the other day about how the Spanish had made a submarine that was too heavy to float, and as they kept working on it they resolved that issue but then made it too big for its dock.

[Queenslander]

In snake news.

https://www.facebook.com/351519505042919/posts/1252531804941680/?sfnsn=mo

[John]

https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2019/sep/20/south-korea-serial-killer-suspect-found-after-30-years-but-wont-face-prosecution

That seems like an oversight in the law they should probably fix.

[Offshore Toon]

"...but are unable to launch proceedings because it’s too long ago."

Awful.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Memories of Murder, now that's a film.

[Foe]

Should the time limit exist? Can only assume it’s been put in on the basis that punishing someone for something they did 25/30 years ago may not be relevant if they’ve moved on/sorted out their life.

It’s a bit like the ww2 trials of folk in their 90s. What’s the benefit? Closure that an old man is punished for something they did as youth?

I personally wouldn’t have the time limit and let the judges decide whether punishment now is worthwhile.

[Alex]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-49783851

I know this is an awful turn of events, but I really do despair sometimes. I mean, you've found yourself in a position where you've inadvertently filmed your would-be fiancé’s underwater proposal to you, which also turned out to be his death by drowning, and you release the fucking footage? In which he holds this note?

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/10481/production/_108898666_70971440_10101915260551073_450107261464 2417664_n.jpg

"I can't hold my breath long enough to tell you everything I love about you". :face:

No shit. Maybe do it on dry land then mate, and live to tell the fucking tale.

[Pepe]

At least she got the experience. :cab:

[Spikey M]

Lol

[SincereTheRebel]

10m deep. See the lengths man have to go for these modern-day proposals.

[Giggles]

Dem likes.

[Yevrah]

That's Darwin award winning stuff that. I know it's not becoming to speak ill of the dead, but what an absolute fucking moron.

[John]

Someone I know immersed their entire hoover in a full bath of water in an attempt to clean it, then took to Facebook baffled as to why it had stopped working, and that's still the most egregiously stupid thing I've seen this week.

[Giggles]

Someone I know immersed their entire hoover in a full bath of water in an attempt to clean it, then took to Facebook baffled as to why it had stopped working, and that's still the most egregiously stupid thing I've seen this week.

They’d have been no loss to the world had they plugged it in at the time.

[mugbull]

They’d have been no loss to the world had they plugged it in at the time.

They probably would have been, actually

[Giggles]

They probably would have been, actually

Go away you contrary little annoyance. You walking fucking meme.

[bruhnaldo]

Kinda insensitive to just assume he's able-bodied.

[randomlegend]

Someone I know immersed their entire hoover in a full bath of water in an attempt to clean it, then took to Facebook baffled as to why it had stopped working, and that's still the most egregiously stupid thing I've seen this week.

My older brother left the bath running, forgot about it and flooded the downstairs, then tried to hoover the water up.

[Giggles]

Kinda insensitive to just assume he's able-bodied.

He’s certainly not able minded.

[mugbull]

Giggles doesn’t deserve to be left alone to post in peace, so don’t let him

[Baz]

Kinda insensitive to just assume he's able-bodied.:lol:

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-49850738

Madness.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Any news article which starts 'More than 40 actors...' is guaranteed comedy.

[Yevrah]

It's fucking ridiculous. She even admits herself in the highlight in question that she's not there to give her opinion, so she knew what she was doing was wrong as she was doing it. This is also what makes most of the BBC news shows better than the slew of shit you get elsewhere. Guests partial, presenters impartial.

Once you accept that principle, then it has to apply to everything, you can't just pick and choose which issues it should apply to. And if you don't accept that principle then there's no point in the BBC being a public broadcaster.

Why can't people understand that? How difficult can it be?

[SvN]

Of course Lenny Henry is involved.

[Spikey M]

It's fucking ridiculous. She even admits herself in the highlight in question that she's not there to give her opinion, so she knew what she was doing was wrong as she was doing it. This is also what makes most of the BBC news shows better than the slew of shit you get elsewhere. Guests partial, presenters impartial.

Once you accept that principle, then it has to apply to everything, you can't just pick and choose which issues it should apply to. And if you don't accept that principle then there's no point in the BBC being a public broadcaster.

Why can't people understand that? How difficult can it be?

This is it.

I doubt there's a single sane person around that doesn't think she was right in what she said, but she isn't there to be right or wrong about anything. No opinions.

[Lewis]

In other racist news, is this lad (https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/10012235/princess-beatrice-edoardo-mozzi-royal-engagement-whirlwind/) blind or just really desperate to meet the Queen?

[Yevrah]

What should also be said is that her co-presenter has completely stitched her up there.

[phonics]

She has eyes like some sort of anime character. Theyre huge.

[Pepe]

"No opinions" is a pretty lol rule. As if the way a question is asked doesn't embed an opinion in it.

[phonics]

The idea that there is such a thing as 'objective' news is fucking bananas.

[niko_cee]

They have to at least maintain some pretense of impartiality, even if they aren't. This clearly transgressed that (albeit imaginary) line.

[Yevrah]

Some "nothing to do with Islam" news.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-49850408

[phonics]

I mean you want me to post what the Christians in Nigeria are up to? It's fucked left and right.

The whole of Africa has been radicalised by missionaries from whatever religion there is going.

[Giggles]

Themuns.

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-49844960

:cab:

[Disco]

So invisible they took pictures of them.

[Baz]

I'm confused. What do pictures of some steps in a Japanese swimming baths, the wall of some courthouse toilets, a cat and inside a bus have to do with jumpers?

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-49902038

I don't usually laugh out loud at names but that one's a belter.

[-james-]

That eyebrow. U wot.

[Lewis]

He looks like a dwarf Offshore.

[SvN]

He's definitely disabled, right? I can't put my finger on it, but it looks like a mixture of dwarfism and downs.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He doesn't look too bad in the BBC photo due to the cropping.

Here's the uncropped version:

https://i0.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/PRI_87966664-e1569992975500.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=644%2C637&ssl=1

[Shindig]

Nah, he still looks monged.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm saying he looks worse in the uncropped...

[Alex]

That eyebrow. U wot.

Puts even a nineties Liam Gallagher to shame with that monstrosity.

Yet, despite the fact that he's obviously just let the monobrow run wild, he still looks like he's been making regular attempts at shaping his (terrible) attempt at facial hair. The 'tache in particular. Just a very strange look on the whole, and one glance clearly marks him out as a deviant of some kind. Security at the Tate Modern really should have picked up on this and denied him entry on-sight.

[Spikey M]

Looks like he's been dropped from higher than that kid was at some point.

[Spikey M]

Puts even a nineties Liam Gallagher to shame with that monstrosity.

Yet, despite the fact that he's obviously just let the monobrow run wild, he still looks like he's been making regular attempts at shaping his (terrible) attempt at facial hair. The 'tache in particular. Just a very strange look on the whole, and one glance clearly marks him out as a deviant of some kind. Security at the Tate Modern really should have picked up on this and denied him entry on-sight.

They probably thought he was one of the exhibits.

[Lewis]

He looks like a dwarf Offshore.

In the light of the larger picture I would like to change this to 'offshore_balis'.

[Boydy]

1179439026782265344

Looks like someone's shitting their pants and it isn't baby Archie.

[Spikey M]

I can't read that in any voice but a sarcastic one.

[Shindig]

It was probably written by Katie Hopkins.

[Lewis]

Cutting his scalp out of that thumbnail is the bigger gesture.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/entertainment-arts-49943671/lucia-lucas-making-uk-operatic-debut-at-the-eno

I don't know what I was expecting to hear but ... :D

[Spikey M]

Sounds like a bloke.

[Offshore Toon]

That's just a David Walliams character

[John Arne]

Neil Robertson has forfeited his snooker qualifier after driving to wrong Barnsley :D



Neil Robertson will not play at the Yushan World Open in China after travelling to the wrong Barnsley in England for his qualifier.
Robertson was due to play Ian Burns at the Barnsley Metrodome in Yorkshire, but found himself travelling to Barnsley in Gloucestershire instead – the two locations are around three hours apart by car.

“When I realised there was a 2nd Barnsley it was too late to get to the other one,” the Australian tweeted. “Hopefully I’ll be able to either play or complete a match this season.”

[Ian]

Neil Robertson has forfeited his snooker qualifier after driving to wrong Barnsley :D

My sister's in-laws were driving down for their wedding many moons ago and only realised the coach was going to the wrong village of the right name when one of them saw the county on a road side and said "I'm sure we're not supposed to be in Leicestershire...."

[Lewis]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49973318

:lol:

[Yevrah]

Read that earlier and it seems just as useless as that rubber band penis test for paedo's operating in the States that Louis Theroux covered.

[Spikey M]

Wait, so they were putting all sex offenders together and attempting to humiliate them by having them relive their experiences in front of an audience of their peers? That is fantastically stupid in a number of ways.

[Spikey M]

'Did it hurt her when you did that Barry?'

Yeah.

'Did she scream?'

I told her she wasn't allowed to.

*ocean of cum fills the room*

[SincereTheRebel]

It is only a matter of time before they claim they were born this way, they cant change the way they feel. They need to be accepted just like everyone else.

[bruhnaldo]

No time for Rooney v Vardy in here?

[Lewis]

I lolled at that earlier. No wonder Wayne keeps getting caught out like a dickhead. I bet she has Alex Ferguson-like eyes everywhere.

[Shindig]

It is only a matter of time before they claim they were born this way, they cant change the way they feel. They need to be accepted just like everyone else.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3356084/I-ve-gone-child-Husband-father-seven-52-leaves-wife-kids-live-transgender-SIX-YEAR-OLD-girl-named-Stefonknee.html

Already happened. Well, probably.

[niko_cee]

Fair fucks to Coleen, she's obviously gone to some lengths to stitch Mrs Vardy up.

A level of old school chicanery I wouldn't have credited her with being able to imagine previously. New found respect.

[John Arne]

Is this what the youth refer to as 'woke culture'?

1181968839338102784

[Spikey M]

Mate.

[Giggles]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7557947/Shy-awkward-student-19-faces-JAIL-sex-assault-conviction.html

[Pepe]

Can't help but lol.

[Shindig]

Frig. Hanging round the bushes trying to ambush her is ... a problem for the defence.

[Lewis]

Speaking of which. Imagine - if you can - being up in court defending yourself against claims that you're a fat rapist. Do you:

a) Go to great lengths to make yourself presentable, possibly buying a new shirt for the occasion
b) Turn up looking like this (https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10095443/obese-man-rape-match-com-oxford/)

Mate. Come on.

[Raoul Duke]

I like that they've got a second picture in the article but it's just the first one slightly zoomed in

[Spikey M]

Is it zoomed in or has he eaten a sofa in between?

[SincereTheRebel]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3356084/I-ve-gone-child-Husband-father-seven-52-leaves-wife-kids-live-transgender-SIX-YEAR-OLD-girl-named-Stefonknee.html

Already happened. Well, probably.

https://media2.giphy.com/media/9ohlKnRDAmotG/giphy.gif?cid=19f5b51ab8a668fcc6d61f7363fb0ba224e9 62953a11dc3b&rid=giphy.gif

[SincereTheRebel]

:lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7561823/Cosplayer-racism-row-blackface-dressing-League-Legends-character-Pyke.html

[Shindig]

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10106362/man-51-dies-hot-fishcake-freak-accident/

He must have ate like a duck.

[Giggles]

Another joke.


https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/man-who-fractured-teenagers-skull-with-hurley-in-revenge-attack-has-sentence-increased-38585776.html

[niko_cee]

What's a hurley? Is it the stick they use in hurling? Do they use sticks (hurleys) in hurling?

[Shindig]

Got it in one. Basically a hockey stick.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's a line somewhere in the Pogues repertoire about it being crazy to laugh and useless to bawl 'bout a rusty tin can and an old hurley ball, so I always assumed it was another word for hurling.

[niko_cee]

A 35 year old pursuing and fracturing the skull of a 16 year old sounds like it probably deserves some reasonably serious time. Yes, I'm sure the kid was a prick, but I'm equally sure the assailant was as well, so those penalties offset.

[Giggles]

Kid shouldn’t have been a prick then.

A hurley is what the Dublin media call the stick. In proper Ireland it’s a hurl.

[Lewis]

https://i.ibb.co/6YKVGXP/C669-RBo-U8-AAFi-AX.jpg

[niko_cee]

That looks more like a cudgel or a cosh.

In other Irish news, 10 years since Stephen Gately died. I would have maybe guessed longer.

[Giggles]

That looks more like a cudgel or a cosh.

In other Irish news, 10 years since Stephen Gately died. I would have maybe guessed longer.

Weirdly enough I was thinking the same thing when I heard it today. Most things you think “fuck was it that long ago” but I would have said he was dead 15 at least.

[Giggles]

That’s a Shillelagh that the gurning man has in Lewis’ picture.

[Lewis]

This two hour marathon record is a bit mental. He's still running around celebrating as well the stupid cunt.

[Spikey M]

Must be on one hell of a drug cocktail, surely.

[Lewis]

Because he's black he's a junkie? :rolleyes:

[Lewis]

I post that and here's Mohamed Farah on Sky Sports News implying that doping questions are racist. :harold:

[Spikey M]

Sorry lads.

[Spikey M]

Lance Armstrong must be seething that he isn't black.

[Kikó]

Testing doesn't catch the cheats unless they're dumb.

[SincereTheRebel]

That average pace per mile is madness. I tried to run similar speeds last week on the treadmill and didn't last 40 seconds

[Shindig]

One of my mates met tried 400m pace and then packed in. It's daft.

[mugbull]

They average 17 seconds per 100 meter stretch. Fucking Kenyans eh

[SincereTheRebel]

Forget about Kenyans. It's those Kalenjins that are the fucking problem.

[Yevrah]

I hate to be pointing out the bloody obvious on this but either you have rules (in which case he hasn't run a marathon in under 2 hours) or you don't, in which case nothing means much and Ben Johnson wants his gold medal back.

[SincereTheRebel]

Unofficial. Exhibition. Friendly.

[randomlegend]

That's a bit of an autistic take on it. There's more nuance to it than that. If someone ran under 9 seconds in the 100m but it was wind-assisted, it would still be news worthy without being a world record.

[Shindig]

That'd be great, to be honest. Scheduling the 100m final for the windiest day. :D

[Spikey M]

Put a treadmill on the roof of a Lamborghini.

[Pepe]

It is not an official record, so no need to panic.

[Giggles]

It is not an official record, so no need to panic.

Tell Twitter.

[Yevrah]

It is not an official record, so no need to panic.

I'm well aware of that, but as a result, for me, it's not even newsworthy and the shit show shouldn't have happened in the first place.

A human will run an officially recognised marathon time in under two hours at some point, so let's just wait for that.

[Pepe]

It's all a marketing ruse, but it is still nice to see that it is doable.

Was it one of those where he had others to draft all throughout? If I remember correctly, he had tried before in a similar way and failed, so again, good to see it being doable.

[randomlegend]

I'm well aware of that, but as a result, for me, it's not even newsworthy and the shit show shouldn't have happened in the first place.

A human will run an officially recognised marathon time in under two hours at some point, so let's just wait for that.

You'd better set about discrediting Roger Bannister as well then, because I'm pretty sure his 4 minute mile wasn't done in an official event either.

[Yevrah]

Has the mile ever been an officially recognised event?

[Yevrah]

I should add the most remarkable thing you'll ever see regarding the marathon are late 90s pin up Nell Mcandrew's times.

[Disco]

There was a car projecting a laser marker onto the road and a continuous cycle of pacemakers, plus a bike to deliver drinks so he didn't have to slow down. So not competitive conditions but a proof of concept at the very least.

[SincereTheRebel]

Its an event. Brings flashbacks to that dickhead who jumped from space.

[Giggles]

I seen a lad get 3 hole in ones by carrying the ball to each hole. Great stuff but still.

[niko_cee]

The best bit of that Kipchoge thing was the commentators. One seemed to be on the verge of tears, another was comparing it to the fucking moon landing. Have a word mate.

[Giggles]

Why are sports channels covering it at all?

[niko_cee]

It was on the BBC website. The number of people on the course seemed mental to me. Do they not have much to do in Austria?

[SincereTheRebel]

Not since Adolf left.

[Spikey M]

Could he chuck a kettle over a pub?

[John]

There's not a chance this Kipchoge character isn't about thirty percent steroids. He's in his mid thirties and suddenly he's absolutely blowing world records away. It's all a bit Lance Armstrong.

[Pepe]

Suddenly? He's been donning it for a while.

[John]

He'd been winning things but never held the world record, then last year at thirty three years old he knocked a minute and a half off the standing record.

[Shindig]

There must be something about the Berlin course as well. All 7 of the previous World Records were paced there. I'll give the gap the benefit of the doubt seeing as Paul Radcliffe's wiped 2 and a half minutes off her own record before.

EDIT: Okay, she has two minutes between her mixed and women's times. I'm going to guess field size can play a role as you can potentially have more pace runners.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Don't marathon runners peak at a much later age than other athletes? I seem to remember Gebreselassie was donning it into his forties.

[Kikó]

And Paula Radcliffe is not a good example.

[Giggles]

https://www.irishexaminer.com/breakingnews/ireland/man-awarded-105000-after-slip-at-his-own-local-authority-home-told-his-case-will-be-reheard-956332.html

Even if the appeal is won they’ll never see a penny of the 30k back. Shameless scrounging cunt.

[John]

Having regard to the fact this is a man who has worked in manual labouring jobs all his life, I decline to make any adverse finding against him having regard to the level of alcohol consumed by him that day," Mr Justice Barr said.

What sort of horseshit is that? A lifetime of site work makes it more likely he fell because he was pissed up, not less. Uneven, cracked, slippy ground will make up a majority of what he walks over at work.

[Giggles]

Judges are completely out of touch with reality.

[randomlegend]

https://www.irishexaminer.com/breakingnews/ireland/man-awarded-105000-after-slip-at-his-own-local-authority-home-told-his-case-will-be-reheard-956332.html

Even if the appeal is won they’ll never see a penny of the 30k back. Shameless scrounging cunt.

Right you actually do spend your time hunting these stories down.

[Giggles]

They’re about as common as the weather unfortunately.

[mugbull]

Giggles is a sadder cunt than Mr Thomas Keegan

[John]

Right you actually do spend your time hunting these stories down.

I looked up two stories about Coronation Street on the same day about a month ago and the 'suggested for you' thing that appears when I open my mobile browser has at all times had at least one article about what some current or former actor has been up to.

[Giggles]

If the newspapers that I follow on Twitter post it then I’ll see it. Like I said, it’s ridiculously common.

[Giggles]

https://www.thesun.ie/news/4653309/enniskerry-gaa-lorry-several-injured-video/

Someone sent me another angle of this earlier on and it’s mad lucky that there weren’t any serious injuries.

[Disco]

We're all sad cunts to some degree so no shame there, online news algorithms also turn the internet into a big echo chamber so the more of these stories you click on the more you will see.

[John]

https://www.thesun.ie/news/4653309/enniskerry-gaa-lorry-several-injured-video/

Someone sent me another angle of this earlier on and it’s mad lucky that there weren’t any serious injuries.

I think I saw the same angle, and if there aren't at least as many broken bones as people I'll be stunned.

[Giggles]

I think I saw the same angle, and if there aren't at least as many broken bones as people I'll be stunned.

I’ve seen a few photos of lads with arms in casts, etc but apparently there were no serious head or neck injuries. Looked like there could easily have been.

[Lewis]

In actual news, it looks like dril has sold out. How could he?

[Baz]

In actual news, it looks like dril has sold out. How could he?

:worried:

EDIT: for reference:

1183214966217641984

[Boydy]

I'm most disappointed about how his mask isn't a pixelated Jack Nicholson mask.

Also not sure his style of comedy will really transfer onto screen.

[phonics]

It'll be bad but the guy deserves to be paid for the entire internet just jacking his stuff for the majoirty of this decade.

[Lewis]

Why not just write something and trade off of being dril? Using the actual character is a bit lame.

[Shindig]

That looks genuinely awful.

[phonics]

Why not just write something and trade off of being dril? Using the actual character is a bit lame.

He did, no-one knew it was him and it only blew up when he got doxxed. No-one even knew his name until a couple of years ago.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1184167543654768640

National hero.

[Shindig]

It sounds like something Paul would do, to be fair.

[Baz]

1184167543654768640

National hero.

Him opening the door to the police and immediately saying "I know why you're here... I kissed a fat lass" is amazing.

[Disco]

Wearing a tie bought that very morning.

[John Arne]

"My adopted 6 year old was really an adult"

:D


https://youtu.be/nC3DIkP7F74

[SvN]

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/09/19/17/18676566-7479061-image-m-66_1568912310048.jpg

She was 23 here.

[Spikey M]

:lol:

Waiting for Baz to stick that in the shameful lustage thread.

[John]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7576099/amp/University-Manchester-students-say-statue-Gandhi-scrapped.html


But Sara Khan, liberation and access officer at Manchester University students' union, who promotes herself on social media as a 'future Labour Home Secretary in the Making?', is behind a campaign to prevent the statue being erected.

:lol:

[Lewis]

It was obviously going to end up here, so well done everyone who realised at the time.

[Yevrah]

Miss Khan, 22, was behind a motion at the union last year to ban clapping because it could 'trigger anxiety'.

If true that tops everything.

[Shindig]

I mean, he was but it's not like that's the shit he's remembered for.

EDIT: Oh, this is that woman.

You don't need a sign to tell you not to do this. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-50067073)

[mugbull]

My woke friend thinks we should stop celebrating Einstein. Apparently he made a trip to China once and wrote in his journal about how feminine the men were and how they submitted to their women too easily. That’s one deeper i’d say

[John]

If true that tops everything.

I remember that one. The proposed alternative was fucking jazz hands.

[Spikey M]

That would just upset people with Parkinson's.