The House Thread

[Baz]

My brother got his old house cheap because the couple who had it were getting divorced and somehow living separate lives within it. It's like a sort of living probate.

https://www.britishclassiccomedy.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/divided2.jpg

[Spikey M]

Depends what sort of loft conversion you want and the age/style of your house.

A hip to gable with dormer extension is the most common around here as we have loads of the 1930s semis which are easily converted.

Depends on the pitch of your roofer it's a newer house and also how the roof is built, if it's a traditionally cut roof it's loads easier than a truss roof.

There are a lot of variables. I could probably give a bit more advise if you have a picture of your roof.

https://i.ibb.co/XCprvWN/20210704-140545.jpg

Cheers. Can't get a picture of the inside of the loft as the hatch is at the top of the stairs and we had to borrow the father in laws tall ladder to get up there last week.

It has been recently insulated and there is a lot of room. It's an old house, built in the early 1900's IIRC. Partially boarded although obviously not to flooring standard.

[Andy]

Shouldn't be to expensive as you already have a gable roof so wouldn't need the hip to gable extension. Just the dormers fitting either side and all the conversion work.

[Spikey M]

Cheers Andy. Will get someone round for a quote although probably not looking at doing it for a year or so (depending on cost).

I think the main cost is going to be building the stairs as there's no ready made place for them. Will need to nick a bit of one of the existing bedrooms.

[SincereTheRebel]

Loft conversions sound phenomenal.

[Lewis]

Loft rooms are boiling in summer and freezing in winter, except if people/rooms below have their heating on, in which case you get lovely underfloor heating.

[Lofty]

I went to view a house with a loft conversion once and was startled by a cardboard cut out of Harry Styles behind the resulting bedroom door. Tidy room but not ideal for a man of my dimensions, seller rejected our low ball in Autumn 2018 and has only just managed to sell it now. Unsure if Harry still resides in the loft.

[Lewis]

To resolve the stand-off between the two solicitors I asked a third one for their opinion, and they think my solicitor is wrong (or at least their policy is) and that it should all be good to go, so I asked them to sort it out for me. My now old solicitor is refusing to send stuff over until I pay them (fair enough), but is refusing to itemise my bill[s] beyond the suspiciously rounded five-hundred quid (plus VAT) for 'legal services'. Is it unreasonable of me to want some sort of breakdown, because their service has been shit and most of their correspondence have had incorrect information in, so it would stick in my arse to think I'm getting stung for fifty quid letters that went straight in the bin.

I BULLIED the other solicitor into halving my bill, and the new one has sorted it out (and cost less because the old one charged less for searches than this one). I get the keys Tuesday. :cool:

[Shindig]

The great British art of complaining. :cool:

[wullie]

Exchanging today! People say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do but the big upside of it is realising that everyone else is that little bit lazy and rubbish at their jobs too.

[Mike]

Accepted a new offer on my flat, fingers crossed this one doesn’t fall through.

[Manc]

Landslide?

[Lewis]

I got my keys, and it had been left in a right shit state. Do I have any grounds to make the estate agent get it properly cleaned, or am I stuck with how I bought it?

[Spikey M]

Chance your arm and see what they say, but if they say no, the grief involved with making them do it would almost certainly be above and beyond just doing it yourself though.

And that's assuming they do have to clean it. We did, but I've no idea if you actually have to.

[Giggles]

I think once it’s all signed up then you’re stuck with it as is.

[Shindig]

I think you're out of luck, Lewis.

[Lewis]

They've also left me a manky settee, but I could just throw that through the estate agent's window.

[Giggles]

I’d set fire to that on the footpath to introduce yourself to the neighbours.

[Shindig]

Send it Yev's way. He'll need props for the sitcom. Unless he's gone completely Roger Cook against SCIENCE. That might be a better watch.

[Spikey M]

They've also left me a manky settee, but I could just throw that through the estate agent's window.

This one I do know. If it's not down in the contract as being left then it shouldn't be there and they are obliged to remove it.

However... how much of a pain in the arse that would be to achieve may still mean it's easier to just get rid yourself.

[Lewis]

I can just pull it apart and phase it into the bin.

[Giggles]

Have you a solid fuel fire? Could burn most of the frame and just dump the lining and fabric.

[Bam]

Have you a solid fuel fire? Could burn most of the frame and just dump the lining and fabric.


Probably not, we have something called central heating over here. :)

[Mike]

We had the valuation on the new place yesterday and got an email today saying our mortgage has been approved!
Moving in the summer holidays is the dream but it’s looking less and less likely we’ll have the time.

[Giggles]

Probably not, we have something called central heating over here. :)

Innit blud. Interesting name for a barrel fire.

[Bam]

Made a right mess of that, didn't you gigs. :chortle:

[Giggles]

I didn’t at all. I just prefer not to have to space it out.

[Baz]

You do call your airing cupboard a hot press though. :gs:

[Giggles]

It is a press that’s hot.

[Spikey M]

Wait, what?

[Baz]

It is a press that’s hot.

https://i.makeagif.com/media/7-20-2021/mPLYsZ.gif

[Lewis]

The fridge they left me was full of dead flies. The little freezer compartment had food in it, six months with no electricity... The contract said they were leaving the fridge, but I can moan about that can't I? It's one thing not cleaning the place, but that must come under actual health hazard.

[Pepe]

Post pics of the new house.

[Pepe]

Or at least some specs. How many beds/baths are we talking here?

[Magic]

Instructed to sell today. :cool:

[Luca]

Lewis, I don't know what the terms are like there, but here when you buy a house there is a clause that requires the house to be move-in ready (i.e., clean, free of all the chattels you did not sign up to keep). I'd look at the agreement of purchase and sale (and document everything with photos as a first step) to see if something similar exists there, because you'd be well within your rights to require them to clean it, even if you've already completed the purchase.

[Lewis]

Yeah, the fixtures/fittings contract sez that I would be getting a fridge, and that the seller has to leave the place tidy and remove all rubbish. The fridge is rubbish in the state it is in, so at worst they have to come and remove it, and at best they owe me a fridge. I have asked my solicitor what they think before I go pushing shit through any estate agent doors.

[Lewis]

I am all moved in, and I have to admit it feels good just sitting here.

[Don]

I'll bring the liquor and the hookers, rest easy.

[Shindig]

Sure, as soon as that payment goes through ...

[Manc]

I am all moved in, and I have to admit it feels good just sitting here.

Give us a tour then.

[Spikey M]

I am all moved in, and I have to admit it feels good just sitting here.

You've got 10 days to enjoy it now.

https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/old-man-celebrating-laptop-16618166.jpg

[Spikey M]

We've just had our pavement laid, and now want a gardener in to sort the grass out. So I called a geezer;

"Do you have Children at the property"

2 kids, yeah.

"... I can come and have a look, but I won't be able to while they're there"

Fuck. Ing. Hell.

I appreciate you sticking to what are very clearly bail / probation conditions, but mate...

[Manc]

:D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Are you giving him the job?

[Yevrah]

Spikey. :D

[Spikey M]

Are you giving him the job?

He recommended another bloke.

I won't be using him either.

[Lofty]

Get him in for the board, Spikes. Let Trimmy Saville give Yev's rat man a run for his money.

[Spikey M]

Trimmy Saville :D

He should rebrand. Let me call him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I love that he goes around being up front about it.

"Listen, I'd love to do the job, and I can quote a great price. There's just one small problem."
"What?"
"I'm a paedophile."
"You're a paedophile?"
"A paedophile."
"Not an ebedophile?"
"Nope."
"Well..."
"Have you got kids?"
"Erm... yes."
"Well, fella, the choice is yours. Don't say I didn't warn you."
"Fuck it, the price is too good. You've got a deal."
"Thanks, mate. This could really turn my career around."

[Don]

:D

Get it in the pilot.

[Spikey M]

We might have trouble sourcing a Drama Student for the role Trimmy Saville.

[Shindig]

Really?

[niko_cee]

We've just had our pavement laid, and now want a gardener in to sort the grass out. So I called a geezer;

"Do you have Children at the property"

2 kids, yeah.

"... I can come and have a look, but I won't be able to while they're there"

Fuck. Ing. Hell.

I appreciate you sticking to what are very clearly bail / probation conditions, but mate...

In my sheltered brain I was thinking he was going to warn you off bothering because kids will fuck it up, so yeah.

Where does that conversation go if you answer in the negative? Awkward.

[Pepe]

"Can you find some?"

[Luke Emia]

So a house down the road from ours has sold for massively in excess of what I thought mine was worth recently. Leaves us with a nice chunk of equity so come the end of the year I'm going to pull some money out and get myself at least one if not two buy to lets and it won't cost me much more than I'm paying at the minute.

[Baz]

Strong flex :cool:

[Clunge]

Our sofa arrived yesterday so our living room is now only about 87% empty space.

[Andy]

So a house down the road from ours has sold for massively in excess of what I thought mine was worth recently. Leaves us with a nice chunk of equity so come the end of the year I'm going to pull some money out and get myself at least one if not two buy to lets and it won't cost me much more than I'm paying at the minute.

What sort of deposit/investment is needed to get a buy to let?

[Spikey M]

Depends on how much you want to borrow and your income probably.

[Luke Emia]

What sort of deposit/investment is needed to get a buy to let?

You can do it with a 15% deposit but the interest rates are shit. Generally as a rule you need to look at 25% though to get a decent rate. Most lenders look at the rentable value as well so as long as you earn money they don't worry too much about your income it's not normally taken into account.

[wullie]

Move on Friday all went well in the end, the changeover was quick and the removal fellas didn't have to sit in a van full of stuff for hours waiting for the ok which is apparently a standard part of their day so they had a great time finishing early. It's nice to live somewhere you can see trees but I have to go upstairs just to get a phone signal, stone age.

[Boydy]

Just transferred my deposit and fees to the solicitor. :sick:

[Giggles]

You’re pretty much done and dusted so.

[Andy]

You can do it with a 15% deposit but the interest rates are shit. Generally as a rule you need to look at 25% though to get a decent rate. Most lenders look at the rentable value as well so as long as you earn money they don't worry too much about your income it's not normally taken into account.

Thanks. We are saving a decent amount each month and know eventually we want to put it into property but neither of us have any real idea of what the best option is.

[Lofty]

Been out all day, left the house at 9 and got back half an hour ago. Immediately hit by the strong smell of weed when inside the front door. Turns out next door's 18 year old son is sat with his mates in their yard smoking, and the two windows we foolishly had on vent have allowed it to smell like they were skinning up in the front room hotboxing. Cant be arsed with this becoming a regular problem.

[phonics]

What am I looking at price wise if I wanted to buy a 1.5-2 bed flat if I’m looking in the following locations and willing to do a 20-30 minute commute via public transport.

Salford, Manchester
Leeds Central
Uxbridge

What kind of deposit will I need for each?

The industries I’m looking at are headquartered at these three locations but I’ve never lived near any of them so I can’t even put stuff into the generic property site to gauge it.

[Andy]

My brother in law has a 2 bed house about 15-20 mins walk from Leeds city centre that cost 130k three years ago. It's a quality city as well, always so much going on when I visit.

Pretty sure 10% deposits are back in circulation again now.

Not sure on prices in the other two areas, Uxbridge probably 3 or 4 times the cost of the other two places.

[Clunge]

Uxbridge will really depend on whether you want to live in London and commute outwards to Uxbridge (likely to be vastly more expensive) or just live in Uxbridge itself, or live in a town and commute in (High Wycombe, Maidenhead, Slough, Beaconsfield, Amersham, Chesham, etc). No idea about prices though, will vary massively depending on where you look.

[Spikey M]

Just download RightMove.

[Jimmy Floyd]

To live in Uxbridge you will need to deposit some money plus your soul.

[Kikó]

I think flat prices in the city centre of Manchester/ Salford are relatively affordable but there's a huge cladding issue in any of these new builds so I'd be cautious buying anything there.

[Luke Emia]

What am I looking at price wise if I wanted to buy a 1.5-2 bed flat if I’m looking in the following locations and willing to do a 20-30 minute commute via public transport.

Salford, Manchester
Leeds Central
Uxbridge

What kind of deposit will I need for each?

The industries I’m looking at are headquartered at these three locations but I’ve never lived near any of them so I can’t even put stuff into the generic property site to gauge it.

How long is a piece of string. Your biggest factors will actually be having a job and the fact you haven’t lived in the UK for the past however many years. Deposit will then impact on that as you will be restricted in the number of lenders you have available because of living abroad.

[Spammer]

My fiance and I are looking to move house. We currently own the house we're living in but we live with a lodger. She's nice and all, but we want to live on our own and have found a house. We've wanted to move anyway but feel this is a good time for her not to live with us anymore.

The lodger is in a weird situation. She has her name on a house nearby but apparently the house is extremely delapidated - like, there's no working water pipes or heating and basically everything needs doing to it. It's not really fit to be lived in, based on what she's said.

Her family own the house so her name is on the deeds apparently, but because she owns it with other people she can't sell it because it wouldn't be her sole choice to do so, and they don't want to. It's also been in the family for years and I guess there's a sentimental value to it. Because she technically has equity though, does this rule her out for any benefits? Also, are there any schemes out there to help her get her house into a livable condition? She earns minimum wage and basically has no chance of paying for much herself. The house just can't be lived in though, especially during the winter.

We're at the point where we want to live on our own. She can afford to rent a room in another house but I just want to look into what options there might be in relation to her old house, or what options there might be with benefits etc.

Anyone got a clue about what options she might have? Or anywhere I can speak to and find out?

[phonics]

I'd like to preface this post and say while I don't mean to be rude to you but the implications of whats to follow is probably rude. However,

Reading a post that begins with 'My Fiancee and I are looking to move house. We currently own the house we're living in but...' when I can remember thinking my life was ahead of me as he walked up and down the M1 for something to do. I need to fix my life.

[Giggles]

Why do you care where she goes? Do what suits yourself and tell her to fuck off.

[Raoul Duke]

Anyone got a clue about what options she might have? Or anywhere I can speak to and find out?

Start with Citizens Advice. They have property people who might be able to advise. I expect it would affect her benefits situation (although I've no idea what she's claiming)

[Manc]

If you imagine Spammer as the lodger the post actually makes much more sense.

[Spikey M]

Spammer is sick of his sex slaves shit, I see.

[Lofty]

Just tell her 'look, we're engaged now, and I want to be banging the arse out of her as much as possible before we're married and it all stops. So kindly fuck off.'

But seriously, it's not really your concern. Are you going to supervise making her house liveable? Is she a competent adult? Just tell her you're looking to move and buy a new house so she'll have to make other arrangements.

[Magic]

I've just bid £25,000 over asking. :eyemouth:

[Spammer]

She's more of a friend than a standard lodger nowadays, as she's lived with us for a few years.

I was with my now fiance when I walked home from Manchester. It's just generally quite boring so I don't tend to go into it much

[Magic]

I've just bid £25,000 over asking. :eyemouth:

Lol it went for £40,000 over asking. It needed a fair bit of work as well. Mental.

[Spikey M]

Congrats?

[Magic]

Housing market still bonkers is all.

[Boydy]

Estate agent rang to say I can collect the keys around noon. Kinda thought they'd have been out already and I would have got them earlier. Good job I'm doing the moving myself (with help from my dad and a can he's borrowed from his work).

[Manc]

Has anyone been involved in the bidding for a property listed as "offers over"?

[Magic]

I've just done that you fucking spastic.

[Spikey M]

:D

[Manc]

Heads have gone.

[Spikey M]

It's here, it's just very small, tyvm.

[Lofty]

SSE randomly tried to take £500 out of the wife's account despite not being our supplier, which is nice. I think they might have been the supplier we settled with when we moved in but surely they can't just start firing off payments over two years after we moved in without even a letter?

[Magic]

Sold mine for £15k over. :drool:

[Spikey M]

$16 grand?

[Mike]

Get ready for lots of not much happening for a bit. Boggles my mind that a whole industry can be so so slow to do anything.

[Giggles]

I’m waiting on a dumper being delivered but it’s getting to the stage that I think it’s not coming. Have a load of rubbish like old radiators and all to bury tomorrow and it’s going to be a complete cunt to drag all to the hole without it.

[Lofty]

Leave them out and the scrap metal fairies will have them, probably within 15 minutes depending on your area.

[niko_cee]

You've got your own landfill operation? What sort of madness is that?

[Magic]

Sold mine for £15k over. :drool:

It fell through lol

[Mike]

The people we’re buying from still haven’t found anywhere to buy, it’s been over three months now. We’ve decided to have a look for anything else we like just incase.

[Giggles]

You've got your own landfill operation? What sort of madness is that?

Digger hire is cheaper than a skip.

[Magic]

Sold it again for just 10k over and bought somewhere else now too.

[Don]

Got some sensational gear in this weekend to fix a developing gap under my bathroom window.

https://www.mdoshea.ie/image/cache/catalog/S52496-1-1000x1000.jpg

Gonna touch up the rest of the grouting (assuming it won't hurt to just stick a layer on top of the old stuff as I'm not in the business of removing it and shit). Anyone know how long this stuff lasts in the container? The instructions say 24 months in an unopened container which is of little help.

I presume using this to replaster a little chip on a wall is not wise?

[Baz]

Had a spark round today to finally finish the living room and dining room. Both rooms have been redecorated, new lights, new furniture (shelves, dining table/chairs etc.) and got the TV on the wall with the cables chased in the wall to make it as neat as possible. Pleased with it:

https://i.imgur.com/MX1nkLG_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

Just waiting on the new settee now. Oh and to take the wrapper off the telly.

[Manc]

Is Catherine just as pleased with the result?

[Spikey M]

Is the TV OK above the leccy fireplace? Or do you not use it for heat?

[SvN]

I'm a real man so I mounted my own TV this weekend and have no wires showing at all :cool:

[Baz]

Is Catherine just as pleased with the result?Shes just glad it’s finished.


Is the TV OK above the leccy fireplace? Or do you not use it for heat?It gets used about once a year and emits heat out rather than up. Will be fine.


I'm a real man so I mounted my own TV this weekend and have no wires showing at all :cool:Lets see

[Pepe]

Buoyancy-defying fireplace. :drool:

[Lofty]

Lets see

https://i.ibb.co/WvWJTnB/20210616-130416.jpg

[niko_cee]

I don't mean to be overly critical, but what is the point of chasing the wires into the wall when you have them running up the wall, along the boards, and all that box shit on full show to boot?

[Giggles]

Caught a mouse last night :uhoh:

[Lofty]

There'll be more. Do you not have a cat? As much as they can be wankers the main benefit of them is the pest control. Ours is a house cat now, there is a mouse in our garden I have spotted before (probably the shed too by that logic) but they never come in the house because the lazy bastard becomes the terminator when anything enters his patch.

[Giggles]

I’ll hopefully wipe them out with traps. Had an issue with some in when the cold snap happened and after much looking I found a hole where the last cunt had ran a pipe out but left access around it into the cavity. Cemented all up and been around the whole place so nothing can get in, just need to finish wiping them out now. I’d got a couple at the time but hadn’t seen any more evidence until this one.

I’d live with them before I have a cat about the place though anyway.

[Baz]

Giggles hates pussy pass it on

[Dquincy]

Television's above the fireplace. :sick:

(Or generally anywhere at high level).

[Lofty]

Don't use glue traps, not worth the clean up operation.

[Spikey M]

Cats seem to bring in more wildlife than they eliminate anyway.

[Giggles]

Don't use glue traps, not worth the clean up operation.

Nope, the old school wooden ones are the only job. Can get the bait in nice and tight and there’s pretty much no chance of survival.

[Spikey M]

Had to have a geezer round today because there's suddenly a wet patch on the wall. He's 90% sure it's rising damp. :happycry:

[Kikó]

Our furniture arrives tomorrow. We can actually start moving in. Looking forward to not living in a hotel.

[Dquincy]

Had to have a geezer round today because there's suddenly a wet patch on the wall. He's 90% sure it's rising damp. :happycry:

How old is your property?

[Spikey M]

How old is your property?

Very. Atleast 100 years old.

[Dquincy]

Ah. Fair play. If a company offers you a chemical DPC, make sure you insist on a long term warranty - min 15 years. Even better if it's insurance backed.

If the damp is in an isolated location, check the external side of the wall first to make sure the external ground level has not breached the DPC level. Should ideally be 150mm lower than the DPC. Also check to see if you have a leaking gutter above, which can cause the wall to appear it has rising damp.

[Spikey M]

Cheers will keep in mind. We have some paperwork for some damp work that was done in 2017 and that has a 20 year warranty. Sadly it doesn't say what wall it was (it says there's a sketch but it's not there). Need to speak to the company that did it and hope it's the same wall.

[niko_cee]

Lost the plan you say?

*definitely not the same wall*

[Boydy]

Currently having cavity wall insulation done.

Doing my bit for the planet. :cool:

[Giggles]

For your pocket.

[Boydy]

:D

Knew you'd respond. Yes, obviously. With the price of gas going up all the time and with government grants towards some of the cost it's a no brainer.

[Giggles]

If you've found a government grant that doesn't actually cost you more money then go to town on it.

[Boydy]

Nah, it only gives me some money off the total cost but it's worth doing anyway. The house cools down far too quickly after the heating goes off and it's not even properly cold yet.

[Lofty]

Isn't cavity wall insulation a potential damp issue in the future?

[Dquincy]

Isn't cavity wall insulation a potential damp issue in the future?

It can be, it depends how it's applied. If it breaches the void within the cavity then at best the insulation will become damp and significantly reduce its insulating performance. And at worst it can lead to internal damp ingress.

[Spikey M]

Managed to get a copy of "the sketch" which confirms it is the same area they treated. Will be interesting to see how they get out of honouring the guarantee regardless.

[Manc]

Viewed an amazing property this morning. It's on the market for offers in the region of £300k. I'm presuming the sellers would be chuffed with a bid on the nose? In an ideal world I'd like to secure it for £295k.

[Don]

Demand is still mad round here, bids above listing prices and all.

[Kikó]

Building IKEA furniture can fuck off.

[Yevrah]

I swear to God that the instructions for that stuff are deliberately made as hard to follow as possible.

[Luke Emia]

Built two IKEA cabinets last weekend. Absolutely pissed it to be fair. Helps to have one person doing the instructing and the other the building.

[Giggles]

I like building those.

[Kikó]

Found the electric screwdriver 4 hours after fucking about trying to make the baby changing table. Good timing though as tomorrow will be the chest of drawers.

[Spikey M]

Wait a minute. The Itali-Mancunian and the Portu-Scottish are having a baby German? How has nobody spotted this?

Giggles!!?!?!?!?!?!

[Giggles]

I think it’s been mentioned before. I don’t remember anything specific but I think I knew.

[Kikó]

The move was planned just to annoy giggles.

[Giggles]

Mann des volkes.

[Kikó]

Das Lol.

[Spikey M]

The move was planned just to annoy giggles.

It's a good effort, but one of the Slavic nations would have been better.

[niko_cee]

Building IKEA furniture can fuck off.

Building non-IKEA flatpack can fuck off more. Really makes you appreciate what dons those Swedes are when you roll out the 'instructions' from some Amazon PoS and it's just a drawing of what the finished thing looks like.

[Kikó]

I put together a next king size bed yesterday and I challenge that assertion. Even the parts had individual bags so you didn't need to scramble around like you were looking for change.

[Bam]

Fuck buying crap from IKEA, load of old cheap shit.

[SvN]

Cheap is exactly why it's brilliant.

[Manc]

Viewed an amazing property this morning. It's on the market for offers in the region of £300k. I'm presuming the sellers would be chuffed with a bid on the nose? In an ideal world I'd like to secure it for £295k.

Went with a bid of £300k in the end. Turns out someone else had exactly the same idea, only they've pipped me to the post by having a larger deposit. :cab:

Absolute cunts.

[Giggles]

Didn't think that would matter when the seller would end up with the same amount anyway. Do you pay the seller the deposit directly over there or something?

[niko_cee]

Probably seen as more likely to get a mortgage/there be less chance of problems if you are borrowing less.

Gutting.

[Giggles]

The seller, or their agent, should never know that information really.

[Foe]

My flat has brown wood internal doors and I want to paint them white, the same colour as the walls

What’s my best strategy here?

Do I need to give them a bit of a sand with a sandpaper before painting? Or can I just what some paint over the top?

They seem a bit glossy.

Let’s pretend I asked this question before whapping on with some cupboard doors… debating whether not sanding first has been a disaster.

[niko_cee]

Buy some white doors.

[Andy]

My flat has brown wood internal doors and I want to paint them white, the same colour as the walls

What’s my best strategy here?

Do I need to give them a bit of a sand with a sandpaper before painting? Or can I just what some paint over the top?

They seem a bit glossy.

Let’s pretend I asked this question before whapping on with some cupboard doors… debating whether not sanding first has been a disaster.

Give them a light sand, that'll help the paint key to the door if it's gloss/satin. Then get a decent undercoat on.

[SincereTheRebel]

I wanted to do the same, but a pro painter informed me the wood texture, would struggle to hold the paint. I Need before and after images Foe

[Foe]

I think I’m going to get away with it. It’s an absolute faff though requiring multiple coats.

I’ve abandoned my plans to do all the internal doors, and instead I’ve just done the bedroom cupboard doors. I’ve long wanted rid of some of the wood effect furniture I inherited when I moved into this flat, and this week has forced me into making that change.

Hopefully when I try and sell this place, the fact it “looks” quite clean and modern will help. New builds are all whites and greys, and whilst I’m sure as shit not replacing the wooden floors, if I can whack some white furniture in there and make it look decent then maybe some young professional will fancy a swing.

[Baz]

Buy some white doors.

Have you ever hung a door? It’s solid.

Mine will have 200 layers of paint on before I buy anymore new ones.

[SvN]

I had to hang a door at my mum's place on my own and thought it'd take about 30 minutes. It was a fucking nightmare.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, don't try to hang the doors yourself (or buy cheap ones) in much the same way as don't try to paint a wooden door. It can be done, but the effort required outweighs the cost of alternative options.

[Lewis]

Can anyone here who owns a flat recommend an insurer? I don't have any contents worth insuring, but I would like to be covered in case the washing machine leaks through the floor (say). Every mainstream insurer I've tried just says check your building insurance, but that only covers structural issues.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have Admiral home insurance and they have various options, sadly I didn't choose the one that covers Surrey Police going through your front door with a sledgehammer.

[Don]

Contents insurance, life insurance, income protection...fuck it all off.

[Spikey M]

Home insurance in particular is the biggest scam. Leaking roof? Rising damp? Tornado demolished your conservatory? Sorry mate, we don't cover wear and tear or acts of god.

Waste of money.

[Luke Emia]

Can anyone here who owns a flat recommend an insurer? I don't have any contents worth insuring, but I would like to be covered in case the washing machine leaks through the floor (say). Every mainstream insurer I've tried just says check your building insurance, but that only covers structural issues.

If it’s a leasehold flat your service charge will normally include buildings cover.

[Don]

Lukey boy, talk to me. I'm being offered a B2L for 5 years at 1.7%. I'll obviously come out the other side of it in 2027 looking like Elon Musk such is the level of free money on offer with that madness but a return to their SVR projection has my repayments more than doubling. What's the likelihood I may actually be tied to paying such rates post 2027 because it ain't pretty.

[Luke Emia]

Lukey boy, talk to me. I'm being offered a B2L for 5 years at 1.7%. I'll obviously come out the other side of it in 2027 looking like Elon Musk such is the level of free money on offer with that madness but a return to their SVR projection has my repayments more than doubling. What's the likelihood I may actually be tied to paying such rates post 2027 because it ain't pretty.

Rates good what’s the arrangement fee on it? With the SVR you fix it in five years time. I’m assuming it’s about 4.5%? There’s a chance interest rates could be that high in five years time anyway. But, what you have to remember is the impact of rental increases during the next 5 years also.

Will having this push you into being a higher rate taxpayer? If so you need to factor that in. All well and good paying an interest rate of fuck all but if you are paying 40% on the income you may as well not bother and buy the property via a limited company instead.

[Boydy]

Factor in going to the gulag one day too, you fucking leech.

[Luke Emia]

Factor in going to the gulag one day too, you fucking leech.

I’ve just bought a BTL in my home town for 102k I’ve got to come up with 40k all in to get it bought and decorated.

A mid 20’s couple could get away with needing 7k to buy it and it’s what would have been seen as a decent starter home 20 years ago. But they don’t want it they want the big detached house with the drive and the garden and everything else.

I bought my first house 11 years ago 2 streets over as a starter house so I could pay 600 a month off the mortgage rather than 600 to a landlord because I saw that if I saved the deposit and then paid the mortgage off for 3 or 4 years I could buy somewhere nicer which is what I did. Not enough people want to do that now they’d rather spend 300/400 a month on a car because it makes them look good. I see it every single fucking day.

The housing market in the UK is shite but it’s not just landlords who are the problem no matter what Corbyn and his mates say.

[Don]

£2k product fee and £100 valuation (adding it all onto the mortgage). All joking aside I won't be making anything from it all but if I end up having to pay those 4.44% rate repayments I'll be in tears. I suspect so will the rest of the market though so we can sail in the sea of tears hopefully.

[Lewis]

If it’s a leasehold flat your service charge will normally include buildings cover.

It's share of the freehold, and our building insurance is things like the roof blowing off or the walls falling down. It doesn't cover 'escape of water' or whatever it is through your own stuff.

[Don]

Lukey boy, we are at the stage where we've secured the house and instructing solicitors. Deposit has been met and proof of funds should be fine for that. Unfortunately, I wasn't aware these cunts want the SDLT paid to them at same time. I haven't been asked for source of funds for SDLT element [yet?]. Plan is to get my bro or someone to take out a loan for it, give me it, me pay them and then I'll pay off the loan. Will they ask for source of funds for the SDLT element? Any issues if I just say bro is gifting me it?

[Giggles]

A lot of work for a cave.

[Shindig]

Cave network :dc:

[Luke Emia]

Lukey boy, we are at the stage where we've secured the house and instructing solicitors. Deposit has been met and proof of funds should be fine for that. Unfortunately, I wasn't aware these cunts want the SDLT paid to them at same time. I haven't been asked for source of funds for SDLT element [yet?]. Plan is to get my bro or someone to take out a loan for it, give me it, me pay them and then I'll pay off the loan. Will they ask for source of funds for the SDLT element? Any issues if I just say bro is gifting me it?

They won’t ask for proof of funds for the stamp duty they don’t care where it comes from. I’ve seen people stick it on their credit card before.

[Don]

You glorious bastard. Although how would credit cards work, can you transfer money from them to a solicitor's account?

[Manc]

Went with a bid of £300k in the end. Turns out someone else had exactly the same idea, only they've pipped me to the post by having a larger deposit. :cab:

Absolute cunts.

It fell through. :drool:

[Luke Emia]

You glorious bastard. Although how would credit cards work, can you transfer money from them to a solicitor's account?

No just transfer it to your account and then transfer it to the solicitors.

[Don]

I think we had this discussion in here previously so apologies. I'm not clued up on credit cards so was unaware you could transfer from them to a bank account.

[Don]

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/dec/27/fears-of-higher-uk-home-prices-as-habito-launches-7x-mortgage

Sounds very attractive.

[Baz]

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

[Giggles]

That’ll end well. Worked a treat here.

[Spikey M]

It's amazing that our interest rates never recovered from 2008 and we still managed to learn absolutely nothing from it.

[Panda Bear]

It's amazing how relatively affordable your homes are.

#vancouver

[Don]

You must ensure that you have a comprehensive building insurance policy in place from the date of exchange of contracts. If you have a policy in place at the moment, we would be grateful if you could provide us with a copy of the policy, if not we would advise you to investigate the cost and availability of insurance.

What shit is this? I presume I didn't have to do this for my gaff as it's a flat so building insurance was included? How do I best go about arranging this?

[Boydy]

Just go to any of the comparison sites. Or if you're using a broker for your mortgage, they'll probably be able to sell you insurance too.

[Don]

My broker (L&C) put me through to the usual twat who tries to sell life/income protection insurance by talking about how likely you are to get cancer tomorrow but when I asked them about this, they had no interest. Strange, woulda thought it's just another process they can easily insert themselves into for some free money.

[Boydy]

Strange. Mine harassed me for ages with their shitty quotes that they must have been creaming a ton of commission off. I just went to a comparison website and got a cheaper one.

[Manc]

There's a special place in hell reserved for solicitors.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A special place with a massage chair and a deluxe coffee machine.

[Manc]

Has anyone had any dealings with indemnity insurance? Building regs are amiss and I'm about to cave heads in.

[Clunge]

We sort of did buying our place. Surveys threw up a contaminated land warning (it's build on the site of a former marzipan factory / almond processing facility, of all things) and to solve the issue properly would have involved massive back and forth with the council and actually getting them to investigate / rule it out. As no one else seemed to have had this issue and the sellers seemed to know nothing about it, I think we ended up paying about £200 for some kind of 25-year indemnity policy.

Some friends of mine had to get indemnity insurance when they bought their flat as the previous owner had done something in contravention of planning permission so they are indemnified against any beef that should arise from their seller's work ever becoming an issue.

In both cases, our conveyancer provided quotes for indemnity insurance and we basically just signed and reclined.

[Luke Emia]

Has anyone had any dealings with indemnity insurance? Building regs are amiss and I'm about to cave heads in.

It doesn't normally cost too much and you would expect the seller to pay for it potentially. But, for what it costs it's not normally worth falling out over. Just covers you in the future if the council come knocking and say something isn't right with whatever has been extended on the property.

The only thing you will have when it comes to selling is unless you have sorted out whatever the issue is you will also need to look at getting indemnity insurance in place on selling. It happens all the time.

[Manc]

Thanks Gents. I'll organise the survey and see what's thrown up. I'm guessing the issue could be anything from minor to huge?

[Luke Emia]

Yep, could just be that they built it in line with the planning permission but just never bothered to get it signed off by building control. Or it could be that they didn't stick to the planning and then because of that they never got it signed off because they knew they hadn't complied.

[Spikey M]

We had our buyers solicitor kick up a fuss because we didn't have the planning permission documents for the extension built 25 years, and 4 owners ago. Our solicitor ended up getting shirty with them and phoning the buyer direct, because if the structure is more than 10 years old, it doesn't even matter if it was built illegally. There's nothing the Council can do about it.

[SincereTheRebel]

Can you get free advice from somewhere if you are married and a first time buyer, to find out how much you can get? You can go to your bank?

[niko_cee]

Just ask Luke on here. Light the mortgage advice beacon!

And, erm, married?

[Andy]

Can you get free advice from somewhere if you are married and a first time buyer, to find out how much you can get? You can go to your bank?

Just speak to a mortgage advisor, they take a few details and bank statements etc and let you know how much you can vaguely borrow.

[Shindig]

First the kids, now this. What a twist.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Congrats Sincere.

[Spikey M]

I bet he doesn't even check his tyres anymore. :nono:

[Luke Emia]

Can you get free advice from somewhere if you are married and a first time buyer, to find out how much you can get? You can go to your bank?

Don’t go to your bank they only have their own products and depending on who you bank with their criteria could be dogshit. Best thing to do is ask someone you know who has bought a house who they used and what their experience was. If you have no one like that then Google or ask on Facebook and you will get some recommendations.

Most brokers will tell you what you can borrow and get you a decision in principle for free. Some might charge you a fee to do the mortgage some might not but it’s more about finding someone you are comfortable dealing with.

[Lofty]

To be fair it is worth noting some brokers are clowns if you dont have a big deposit though. My wife and I had a smaller deposit and went to a broker highly recommended by friends who advised us we could get a mortgage £50k less than what we got through her bank (Lloyds). Maybe not the most favourable repayments but got us the house we wanted instead of the shithole he presumably made more comission on.

[Luke Emia]

To be fair it is worth noting some brokers are clowns if you dont have a big deposit though. My wife and I had a smaller deposit and went to a broker highly recommended by friends who advised us we could get a mortgage £50k less than what we got through her bank (Lloyds). Maybe not the most favourable repayments but got us the house we wanted instead of the shithole he presumably made more comission on.

That's just bad brokers more than anything though. In the same way that you can have bad mechanics or bad builders, they tend to be the older guys who have done the job for a long time and for ease use the same few lenders rather than actually doing the best by their customers.

It's not even that hard. Deposit, income and credit dependent the lenders that tend to be able to lend the most money are HSBC, Barclays, Santander, Natwest & Halifax. Most brokers should be able to tell you that straight off the bat.

The commission thing doesn't run true it's normally about 0.4% of the mortgage amount again it varies between lenders but it's not as if say Natwest pay 1% and Santander pay 0.1% they are all vaguely in the same region.

[Lofty]

Yeah maybe it was just a case of he couldn't be arsed? Not sure. I would look at brokers again in future when moving but thankfully due to swerving one last time we now have about £50k equity in our house so probably get a lot more favourable offers now.

[Ben]

My broker was flaky as fuck (scruffy, late to meetings, seemingly divorced and alcoholic) but he got the job done for £250.

[Mike]

Had an offer accepted on a house, it’s pretty perfect. Apparently someone offered more than us but the seller said they liked us more, fingers crossed it goes through without much fuss.

[Don]

House or dog?

[Manc]

Lucky fucker. Can't remember the last time I was shown around by the vendor. 99 times out of 100 it's some pleb estate agent with odd socks on.

[SincereTheRebel]

My mortgage renewal is up in June. Given the chaos, we now live in, fixed or variable?

[Ben]

Fixed surely. Interest rates are still ridiculously low despite the last couple of “rises” so it’s only going to go one way.

[Shindig]

I'd agree with that. One of my variable ISAs went up by a measly 0.1% the other day.

[Luke Emia]

My mortgage renewal is up in June. Given the chaos, we now live in, fixed or variable?

Fixed as long as you have no plans to move during the fixed rate period.

What I would say is rates available at the minute are not great. Most banks have banged in some pretty hefty rises in the past month or so.

[Ben]

Fixed as long as you have no plans to move during the fixed rate period.

What I would say is rates available at the minute are not great. Most banks have banged in some pretty hefty rises in the past month or so.

Just because of uncertainty surrounding Russia?

[Luke Emia]

Just because of uncertainty surrounding Russia?

A lot of them have been very busy for the past year so they don’t necessarily need the business at the minute. When that happens they stop competing and prices go up, plus I think they had been factoring in more rate rises which looked like a guarantee three weeks ago. The impending recession could put a stop to that even if inflation is rampant.

[wullie]

I remember we were blanked by Nationwide for a mortgage in 2016 because they had already enough customers in the area. Poetry pricks.

[Spikey M]

I remember we were blanked by Nationwide for a mortgage in 2016 because they had already enough customers in the area. Poetry pricks.

When we moved Halifax - who we had our mortgage with at the time - would only offer us £70 grand or something equally mental. We thought they had left a zero off a number somewhere, but the guy on the phone said "nah, we're just trying to cut back on the amount of mortgages we're issuing at the moment". Stop offering mortgages then, dickheads.

[John Arne]

I have to go to the bank next week and withdraw 1,200,000,000.00 dong. Yes, 1.2 billion. Buying our new apartment for cash :drool:

May just fill my bath with the notes and go full Scrooge McDuck.....

[Ben]

That's like £40k right? :D

[John Arne]

That's like £40k right? :D

Yeah, to be fair my missus is paying the other half - we aren't getting the gaff for that cheap :)

[niko_cee]

Buying for cash doesn't usually actually mean turning up with a suitcase stuffed full of notes.

[Ben]

Buying for cash doesn't usually actually mean turning up with a suitcase stuffed full of notes.

It's funny the amount of people that do though. I bought a car for the wife yesterday afternoon and told the dealership I'd be buying it cash (ie. I don't want your rip-off finance) and he told me they only accept payments above £1,000 by bank transfer. Well fucking duh.

[John Arne]

Buying for cash doesn't usually actually mean turning up with a suitcase stuffed full of notes.

When I say cash, I mean no mortgage. We aren't actually giving the previous owner cash - I am taking the cash, giving to my missus, who is depositing into another account. Being a pesky foreigner, I cannot transfer directly into the account.

[Ben]

Surely you can spare Mellin a million dong then.

[niko_cee]

That whole part of the world is just so dodgy I don't think I could ever tolerate living there.

Are you even allowed to own this flat you are buying or does it have to be predominantly owned by the local person? Isn't that what the Thais do with their not at all a scam system?

[Pen]

Buying for cash doesn't usually actually mean turning up with a suitcase stuffed full of notes.

Suitcase full of dongs in this case.

[John Arne]

That whole part of the world is just so dodgy I don't think I could ever tolerate living there.

Are you even allowed to own this flat you are buying or does it have to be predominantly owned by the local person? Isn't that what the Thais do with their not at all a scam system?

I can own this apartment (for 49 years (I think), at which point I have to reapply for ownership), but cannot buy land, unless it's on a project site where something like 70% are already Vietnamese owned.
Yeah, it's a clusterfuck.

[Boydy]

Probably a better system than the world's rich being allowed to buy up most of London.

[niko_cee]

:happycry:

[Ben]

Probably a better system than the world's rich being allowed to buy up most of London.

Beat me to it. We're owned by Russians and Chinese, at least Vietnam keep their corruption in house.

[niko_cee]

Sorry to break it to you lads, but you were probably never going to be buying something from one of Nick Candy's developments [which does raise the wider question as to whether, if Roman's dirty money is no good anymore, then is said same money once removed through high end property deals really much more legit?].

[Boydy]

Yeah obviously we were never gonna be competing with fucking billionaires. But they push prices up everywhere.

[Giggles]

Yeah obviously we were never gonna be competing with fucking billionaires. But they push prices up everywhere.

But above all just make sure you don't say a single negative thing about Britain as that sort of thing is always being heavily poliCeed.

[niko_cee]

An open society, whilst obviously not without it's problems, is far better than a closed/controlled one. Always amazed me that you had to get 'Foreign Investment Review Board' approval as a foreigner to buy property in Australia, doesn't seem to have helped them much in terms of property prices. Dark ages shit, like capital controls and everything else that would 'probably be a good thing'. Who was buying everything during the Irish boom? As with virtually everything, domestic demand is the major driving force, not some mythical foreign bastards buying everything [with most of what is bought by said folk almost entirely out of reach to anyone but them anyway].

[Boydy]

An open society, whilst obviously not without it's problems, is far better than a closed/controlled one. Always amazed me that you had to get 'Foreign Investment Review Board' approval as a foreigner to buy property in Australia, doesn't seem to have helped them much in terms of property prices. Dark ages shit, like capital controls and everything else that would 'probably be a good thing'. Who was buying everything during the Irish boom? As with virtually everything, domestic demand is the major driving force, not some mythical foreign bastards buying everything [with most of what is bought by said folk almost entirely out of reach to anyone but them anyway].

The same shit's happening in Dublin: https://www.irishtimes.com/business/economy/why-have-foreign-funds-targeted-the-irish-property-market-1.4579165

[randomlegend]

We met a mortgage advisor before buying our house and he was trying to get us to buy something for about £350-400,000 which would have been an insane thing to do. He seemed like a retard and his only goal was to get us the biggest mortgage we could possibly get.

[Giggles]

The same shit's happening in Dublin: https://www.irishtimes.com/business/economy/why-have-foreign-funds-targeted-the-irish-property-market-1.4579165

Our government are a disgrace. And now they're finally going to start building because they need houses to give refugees, and everyone else can still get to fuck. You can be guaranteed the vulture funds won't be asked to volunteer all their properties.

[Boydy]

Our government are a disgrace. And now they're finally going to start building because they need houses to give refugees, and everyone else can still get to fuck. You can be guaranteed the vulture funds won't be asked to volunteer all their properties.

Be glad it's an "open society" though. :happycry:

[Giggles]

An open society, whilst obviously not without it's problems, is far better than a closed/controlled one. Always amazed me that you had to get 'Foreign Investment Review Board' approval as a foreigner to buy property in Australia, doesn't seem to have helped them much in terms of property prices. Dark ages shit, like capital controls and everything else that would 'probably be a good thing'. Who was buying everything during the Irish boom? As with virtually everything, domestic demand is the major driving force, not some mythical foreign bastards buying everything [with most of what is bought by said folk almost entirely out of reach to anyone but them anyway].

As Boydy said, very little domestic. If you have a Chinese or US company willing to buy your whole estate off you to rent out then why would you put each one on the market domestically when you can get away with that? The people running here then (and now) are very lucky we're more like you than the French.

[niko_cee]

The Irish estate phenomenon is an interesting one, and I don't know to what extent it is replicated elsewhere [Manchester seems to have a lot of flats but I'm not sure how investors really benefit out of those knowing, as I do, people who have bought them on that basis] but aren;t most of the issues raised in that article symptomatic of wider failings in policy, rather than not being strict enough about who you let buy property [on the basis of nationality at least]? Which was actually my original point, and was more about how a corrupt system creates bad outcomes for people [cf John Arne when his wife makes off with all his money/he isn;t allowed on the deeds for his house]. For all I know all those REITs are 'Irish' entities [if they aren't Channel Islands listed :baz:] anyway.

One thing mentioned, which is both interesting and very true [in my view], is about banks and their attitude to lending. Because they fucked it so badly in the 2000s thinking they could cut developers out of the game they broadly point blank refuse to lend on development now, but they can't get enough of mortgage lending, which, as is quite easy to see, creates a problematic/somewhat paradoxical situation. Funnily enough there's no shortage of 'bespoke' shysters all too happy to lend at 10%. Top down meddling isn't the solution, insomuch as it is the problem [also highlighted in that article] in how it has allowed the banking sector to completely capture government policy.

[Luke Emia]

We met a mortgage advisor before buying our house and he was trying to get us to buy something for about £350-400,000 which would have been an insane thing to do. He seemed like a retard and his only goal was to get us the biggest mortgage we could possibly get.

Goes both ways there. So my question to people is always how much do you want to borrow? Then the next thing is to tell them what that could borrow as a maximum and what that would cost.

The thing is a lot of people will try to borrow as much as they physically can. Without sounding like an old man as well a lot of those people are younger they want to have everything the big house, the Range Rover etcetera as it's all a lifestyle thing to them.

[Giggles]

Anywhere I've ever been in England has housing estates anyway, are they called somethe else there?

The only other name they have here are 'gated communities' but that's when they're 6 bedroom detached houses.

[Ben]

There's also an element of your money being tied up in property being quite advantageous these days as value is only going one way.

Having cash in the bank is pretty pointless. No interest is made and due to inflation it's always going to be worth less than the day you earned it. I leave enough for emergencies and put the rest into something which will actually earn.

[niko_cee]

Anywhere I've ever been in England has housing estates anyway, are they called somethe else there?

The only other name they have here are 'gated communities' but that's when they're 6 bedroom detached houses.

I meant more the phenomenon of them being bought by single entities and left empty, rather than the general concept of houses on a private road type thing.

[Lewis]

Rich foreigners buying up properties as investments/safe deposits is a symptom of a shit property market (shit economy) rather than a cause, and it's more than likely never ever going away.

[Mike]

Had an offer accepted on a house, it’s pretty perfect. Apparently someone offered more than us but the seller said they liked us more, fingers crossed it goes through without much fuss.

Went to see it again yesterday, when we first went it was a rubbish rainy day. Yesterday evening the sun was out and it was lovely and warm. The current owner has the doors at the back open, and it was amazing! Can’t wait.

The sale of my flat should finally complete next week too. Aiming to get in the new place by the end of May/early June if all goes well.