Sam Allardyce's Short Shitfest Reign over England

[Magic]

:harold:

I would link the Euros thread where all you fuckwits were calling for this clown to be appointed, the amount of drools etc, but I'm not that cruel.

Rooney captain? Hahaha. Also the long ball anti football. :drool:

[John]

He's done absolutely nothing so far, you fucking clown.

[Magic]

Yes he has you fucking prod cunt.

[Magic]

In fact, no, no you're right. He's done nothing so far and that will remain the case until he's sacked in 4 years' time. HAHAHAHAHA. Bet you're gutted your overlords haven't appointed someone decent eh?!

[John]

Drinking on a Tuesday morning. Christ, it must be bad.

[Magic]

Drinking your tears, mate.

[Boydy]

It'll be funny to look back on this when he's won the world cup.

[Byron]

Had an argument with the wife again Magic? Or is Lee ignoring your phone calls?

[Baz]

Jermain Defoe did well playing long ball anti football. :eyemouth:

[Mike]

Big Sam is too good for England.

[wullie]

The captain is just the guy who shakes hands at the start and poses for photos so it makes sense to go with the guy who's had cosmetic surgery.

[Disco]

I'd be happy with either extreme. If he dons it and gets to make PowerPoint presentations to FA tossers on how great he is that would obviously be great. Likewise if he picks Julian Dicks in every position and we clod our way through qualification kicking people up in the air that will he equally enjoyable. Imagine drawing 0-0 at home with someone like Macedonia, the fallout will be incredible.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What even is the draw? Slovakia, Slovenia and who? I can't access google on this computer.

[wullie]

Scotland, Lithuania and Malta

[Jimmy Floyd]

Crikey. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Pleb]

Scotland.

[Disco]

Do Scotland even have a team these days?

[Ian]

It's just whichever XI of the Tartan Army get there first.

[Pepe]

Have they played yet or is Magic being a mong? I think I know the answer, just confirming.

[Yevrah]

Rooney as captain (with the implication being we're in guaranteed start territory) isn't a great start, but we're obviously very early days.

[Magic]

Have they played yet or is Magic being a mong? I think I know the answer, just confirming.

Why wait when we can write it all off now?

[7om]

Has Defoe actually retired from international football or not? Got to admit I was a little disappointed not to see him in Sam's first squad. Would have preferred him over that dickhead Sturridge any day.

[Angelsaint]

Big Sam is awesome and finally England is a nation to fear.

[bruhnaldo]

Big Sam :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

[Ian]

Rooney retiring in 2018.

Two years for FEC to sort himself out.

[Disco]

Which one?

[bruhnaldo]

Phil Jones will always be "FEC" to me.

http://i.makeagif.com/media/8-08-2015/W-Mm-a.gif

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/37223167

The archbishop of banterbury wasn't calling for once.

[Pleb]

What's even more lolsworthy is that Scotland is thinking they can win the group.

Mate.

[Raoul Duke]

They've got the new Bareth Gale or something, who just signed to Tizer FC for £13m

[Angelsaint]

What is magic beef with big Sam? Besides magic being the annoying twat he normally is.

[Raoul Duke]

He's just lashing out because Big Sam reminds him of his wife

[Pepe]

Fuckin' hell. :D

[Magic]

Savage. I might just stop expressing myself if I'm going to be a cheap shot for confident, emotionally mature super humans.

[bruhnaldo]

Right.

Anyways.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's just lashing out because Big Sam reminds him of his wife

Ha.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The idea of Sam getting Bradley Walsh and Paddy O'Guinness in to host a players' quiz night is promising, but if he wants to really make a top, top start, he needs to personally ban the England band. No new start will be a new start if 'England Till I Die' and 'The Great Escape' are still being pounded out on those fucking trombones.

[Disco]

Doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.

[Lewis]

I bet he loves that. If he ever gets a touchline ban he'll stand with them, downing pints and waving his shirt around.

[Yevrah]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/37238628

One might say the mood in the camp has never been better.

[John Arne]

Fraser Forster is out.

[phonics]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/37238628

One might say the mood in the camp has never been better.

Well after he invited Paddy McGuinness over for a pub quiz. How could it not be?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's like being back in the mid 2000s.


Carrick, 26, insists the mood in the camp is 'positive' ahead of their crucial clash with *insert country ranked between 80 and 120 in the GINI coefficient*

'We respect them, for sure,' said the Tottenham midfielder, who has yet to feature at the tournament. 'But we're here to win, and that's all we're thinking about.'

The squad were inspired by a visit from 1990s rock legends the Lighthouse Family, who are said to have 'lifted' spirits in the dressing room.

'It really puts it in perspective,' Carrick said. 'Even those cunts make this press conference look bland'.

Carrick was speaking on behalf of *insert now-defunct car insurance outfit here*, England's official sponsors.

[wullie]

Lighthouse Family are undoubtedly 90s legends, but Tunde's smooth baritone transcended genre.

[Reg]

I think all England players should be banned from talking to the press. When Sam's won us the World Cup the ban can be lifted.

[Disco]

The whole media circus around most football is the most awful pointless shit in existence. They ask the same six questions to vaguely different people and get the same canned answers every week, christ know how empty and bland your life must be in order to be interested in it.

[Magic]

:clap:

[Raoul Duke]

Southgate :cool:

[Giggles]

MJ :cool:

The gushing was never going to end well, but this is just extra brilliant.

[Magic]

He's done absolutely nothing so far, you fucking clown.

:drool:

[Magic]

It'll be funny to look back on this when he's won the world cup.

:drool:

[Magic]

I know angelsaint is a retard so not going to bother drooling his shit.

[Spoonsky]

You've titled this much better than you could have realized.

[Kikó]

What a fucking idiot.

[Magic]

You can see the accusations of bribery and corruption if you read between the lines of my OP.

[John]

A bit 'answered his critics' here, Magic.