I think I've gone full mental

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So I used to make random words based on Dothraki and Arabic to entertain kids I was looking after (fuck you Magic). However it's become more Scandinavian now, in particular Finnish, and I'm talking to myself in this completely gibberish non-language. It's actually a little hard to stop myself doing it and I genuinely think I'm broken now.

So to make this more threadworthy and not just 'lol look at the freak' what weird shit do you do?

[Magic]

:sick:

[Giggles]

http://memecrunch.com/meme/3TGNX/oookay-then/image.gif

[igor_balis]

When I was about 14 I made a CM01/02 database with a team called 'The Smiths', with every player a 200 CA player named after a Smiths song. Not entirely sure what my rationale was.

[7om]

Strip naked to take a shite.

[igor_balis]

Obviously when I played a lot of FM i'd daydream myself doing press conferences when having a shit, which changed into doing heel promos when I got bored of FM and was watching too much wrestling.

[Magic]

Strip naked to take a shite.

?

Nothing wrong with a good nudey poo.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Obviously when I played a lot of FM i'd daydream myself doing press conferences when having a shit, which changed into doing heel promos when I got bored of FM and was watching too much wrestling.

Didn't everyone?

[Boydy]

Yeah, this is you going full mental. Sure.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah, this is you going full mental. Sure.

As strange as everything else I've done is, I think rambling to myself in a fictional language based on Dothraki, Arabic and fucking Finnish is a little worse.

[Bernanke]

Strip naked to take a shite.

I was a member in another forum years ago where someone admitted to doing this in a confession thread. However, he added that he squatted with his feet up on the seat. Fucking weirdo.

[Giggles]

I was a member in another forum years ago where someone admitted to doing this in a confession thread. However, he added that he squatted with his feet up on the seat. Fucking weirdo.

Isn't that the right way to do it? To keep your shite pipe straight and all.

[Lewis]

Obviously when I played a lot of FM i'd daydream myself doing press conferences when having a shit, which changed into doing heel promos when I got bored of FM and was watching too much wrestling.

I used to wonder how I would act if I was really the manager of a side who had ruined football by winning literally everything with all the best players, and the answer was 'like a complete twat'.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So is it complete gibberish or do you have set words in this language?

Gibberish.

It sounds like it could be a language but there are no set words.

[Lewis]

As strange as everything else I've done is, I think rambling to myself in a fictional language based on Dothraki, Arabic and fucking Finnish is a little worse.

In case you've forgotten, you almost flew into a warzone for a whiff of internet clopper.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

In case you've forgotten, you almost flew into a warzone for a whiff of internet clopper.

I actually did.

I used the out that the board gave me because Kiko found my Twitter which led him to her, plus I felt that I 'could make it work'.

Ukraine is a MASSIVE shit hole and I genuinely thought I was going to die on the roads.

Anyway, she was cold towards me which pissed me off so I started speaking to her less and less. She then said she was going to the hospital because she had a heart problem but actually met up with Mert's cousin for a week. Then she came back, said she was going to marry him and fucked off. She came back a couple of months ago and I told her to leave me alone when she wanted to talk to me.

What a clusterfuck everything was.

[-james-]

What

[Giggles]

Wait. Rewind a bit?

[Lewis]

I actually did.

I used the out that the board gave me because Kiko found my Twitter which led him to her, plus I felt that I 'could make it work'.

Ukraine is a MASSIVE shit hole and I genuinely thought I was going to die on the roads.

Anyway, she was cold towards me which pissed me off so I started speaking to her less and less. She then said she was going to the hospital because she had a heart problem but actually met up with Mert's cousin for a week. Then she came back, said she was going to marry him and fucked off. She came back a couple of months ago and I told her to leave me alone when she wanted to talk to me.

What a clusterfuck everything was.

I never bought your retreat, because Amigo found your Twitter and your webcam profile the day you first posted about it, but as if you actually went. Fair play.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I never bought your retreat, because Amigo found your Twitter and your webcam profile the day you first posted about it, but as if you actually went. Fair play.

http://i.imgur.com/aROuDp3.png

I've also never been so cold. I was an idiot who forgot to pack a coat/jumper/anything with long sleeves and in Ukraine the government only turns on the heating during November-February.

[Lewis]

She was a sort as well. :cool:

[Giggles]

I never bought your retreat, because Amigo found your Twitter and your webcam profile the day you first posted about it, but as if you actually went. Fair play.

What sort of rapey little stalker is Amigo?

[Kikó]

Mahow! You absolute pokulgin-shasha.

[randomlegend]

I can't believe you fucking went:D

[Boydy]

So did she not even get her tits out for you in person?

[Adamski]

Who knew that the opening post wouldn't be the most terrifying in the thread.

[Disco]

I can't believe you went without a jumper, that's the least believable part of the whole affair.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So did she not even get her tits out for you in person?

Nope :(

[mugbull]

Follies of man. Keep doing you.

[Pepe]

I don't even know what to say.

Mahow. :cool:

[Magic]

Well...just well. Fuck.

[Luca]

This has just pulled me out of retirement. Jesus Christ.

[igor_balis]

:D brilliant

[Lewis]

I don't even know what to say.

Mahow. :cool:

I bet his admiration for us (the only ones who said do it) convinced him to go through with it.

[Manc]

You flew to a war zone for some webcam thot?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You flew to a war zone for some webcam thot?

No, I flew to an area pretty far from a war zone.

I then got into a taxi and drove a lot closer to the war zone. I think I was still like 4 or 5 hours away by car.

I was more likely to die from the shitty air from nearby power stations.

[Pepe]

It sounds mental, and it is, but most wouldn't have the balls to do it. It was worth a try. So nothing came out of it and his balls got frozen. Oh well, back to the regular schedule.

Fuck me, almost a year ago...

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It sounds mental, and it is, but most wouldn't have the balls to do it. It was worth a try. So nothing came out of it and his balls got frozen. Oh well, back to the regular schedule.

Fuck me, almost a year ago...

Also, if I had not gone and she had not been so cold towards me I'd have been absolutely fucking devastated when she chose Mert's cousin.

[7om]

So did Amigo know what was going on the whole time but just didn't tell us?

[Pepe]

Is the van still available? We should pay mert's cousin a visit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So did Amigo know what was going on the whole time but just didn't tell us?

Kiko knew I was lying when I retreated too.

Him following me on Twitter is what made me shit myself.

[Pepe]

So you posted about all this on Twitter? :D

[GS]

Fair play, lad. I thought you were insane at the time, but you can chalk it down to experience. You avoided being scammed, which was the main worry.

[Pepe]

Who the fuck follows you on Twitter?

[GS]

Kiko knew I was lying when I retreated too.

Him following me on Twitter is what made me shit myself.

The group took a collective decision. We all love banter, but this was real life and nobody wanted you to get into actual shit. It seemed a sensible way of letting you know others could find out, without highlighting it to the world.

Anyway, I'm glad it 'worked out' in the sense you're a) not dead and b) not scammed.

[Luca]

We found the chat as well. She was pretty attractive, to be fair to Mahow.

EDIT: Like GS said, we kept it within ourselves to ensure that real-life issues wouldn't arise.

[Giggles]

The group took a collective decision. We all love banter, but this was real life and nobody wanted you to get into actual shit. It seemed a sensible way of letting you know others could find out, without highlighting it to the world.

Anyway, I'm glad it 'worked out' in the sense you're a) not dead and b) not scammed.

It's fucking voyeurish behaviour in the extreme. Not a chance anyone gave a fuck about his 'welfare'.

Kiko and Amigo are rats.

[GS]

It's fucking voyeurish behaviour in the extreme. Not a chance anyone gave a fuck about his 'welfare'.

Maybe you don't, but not everybody is a cunt.

[Lewis]

We found the chat as well. She was pretty attractive, to be fair to Mahow.

EDIT: Like GS said, we kept it within ourselves to ensure that real-life issues wouldn't arise.

Yeah, but Mahow could hardly compete with some of the members she was being sent.

[Giggles]

Maybe you don't, but not everybody is a cunt.

I'd give enough of a fuck not to get some perverse glee from him in his own life. Jesus, keep it on here .

[Magic]

I actually did care about his welfare.

Care that it got destroyed, that is.

[Boydy]

Right, give us some linkage of her then.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So you posted about all this on Twitter? :D

I was posting her chat room on Twitter, she asked me to advertise.

[Bernanke]

Right, give us some linkage of her then.

Seconded.

[Pepe]

Ah, I see.

With the million of views I'm sure you get everyday business must've been bustling.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Right, give us some linkage of her then.


Seconded.

Cam4, Mary_cute2.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Ah, I see.

With the million of views I'm sure you get everyday business must've been bustling.

I had a few hundred followers including some webcam twitter advertising accounts who each had around 10k followers.

[Pepe]

You have a few hundred followers? Why aren't you getting us new members then? :face:

[Kikó]

I'm not a rat considering this is the first you've really heard about any of this since it happened.

[Manc]

What a dime peice. Well played, How.

[Giggles]

I'm not a rat considering this is the first you've really heard about any of this since it happened.

Tee-heeing in a little private coven while you stalk his life isn't a whole pile better really.

[GS]

You'll recall that mahow offered all of the information publicly.

When the group realised that you could track it down quite easily, there was a discussion and a view was taken that he needed to know that was the case.

You shouldn't be attempting to misrepresent it as you are. Neither Kiko, nor anybody else for that matter, was a 'rat' given it was never mentioned again and allowed to quietly disappear into forum lore.

[Giggles]

You'll recall that mahow offered all of the information publicly.

When the group realised that you could track it down quite easily, there was a discussion and a view was taken that he needed to know that was the case.

You shouldn't be attempting to misrepresent it as you are. Neither Kiko, nor anybody else for that matter, was a 'rat' given it was never mentioned again and allowed to quietly disappear into forum lore.

Secret messages about some poor cunt losing the plot and deciding to oar into his private life for jollies? "The Group" are nothing but rats.

[Pepe]

Nobody messes with The Group, mate.

[Giggles]

Nobody messes with The Group, mate.

http://www.learnawesome.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Stonecutters.jpg

[Kikó]

We didn't tee hee any more than people did in the actual thread. It was more a pointer that he was doing all of these things in public and probably shouldn't.

[Giggles]

We didn't tee hee any more than people did in the actual thread. It was more a pointer that he was doing all of these things in public and probably shouldn't.

You're a saint, mate.

[Luca]

I see that Giggles is still a cunt.

[Kikó]

Fucking right I am.

[Kikó]

And if we hadn't, he'd never have gone.

[Giggles]

I see that Giggles is still a cunt.

And I see you still think you're above anything. Hardly surprising you crawled out from under your rock to be involved here, at least some of the others behaviour would raise an eyebrow.

[Luca]

And I see you still think you're above anything. Hardly surprising you crawled out from under your rock to be involved here, at least some of the others behaviour would raise an eyebrow.

I am, actually.

[GS]

What does Giggles get out of this forum? I don't understand.

[Boydy]

Mahow admits he went to Ukraine to see the cam girl and yet the thread still gets ruined. Fuck's sake, guys.

[Giggles]

What does Giggles get out of this forum? I don't understand.

Starting to see what you do now anyway.

And in fairness, up to now I found a few of you rather annoying which wasn't really a big deal as it passed the time and I was around long enough to know what threads to stay out of. But I honestly hadn't realised just what sort of cunts a few of you really are.

[Kikó]

Let's talk shit about him in the group guys. Time for some tee hee.

[Adamski]

Also, if I had not gone and she had not been so cold towards me I'd have been absolutely fucking devastated when she chose Mert's cousin.

Why was she cold towards you when you got there if she had been asking you to go over?

[randomlegend]

But I honestly hadn't realised just what sort of cunts a few of you really are.

Coming from the person who's happy to kill innocent people for being Muslim.

[Kikó]

Why was she cold towards you when you got there if she had been asking you to go over?

She's a cam girl. They don't really love you.

[five time]

I think he expected her to be all over Mahow for money rather than being apathetic that he'd come over.

[Adamski]

She's a cam girl. They don't really love you.

Obviously but I was more wondering whether she had asked for money and he told her to fuck off or if she just never actually thought he would come but then surely she would have given a fake address.

[Giggles]

Coming from the person who's happy to kill innocent people for being Muslim.

Never said that once, and keep it in the right thread geebag.

[Lewis]

Obviously but I was more wondering whether she had asked for money and he told her to fuck off or if she just never actually thought he would come but then surely she would have given a fake address.

Yeah, let's have a full holiday report.

[Adamski]

Yeah, let's have a full holiday report.

I think it's the least we deserve. Did you take the chair?

[7om]

What qualities is The Group looking for when accepting new members?

[Lewis]

A commitment to racial purity. Soz.

[7om]

Out the way, Lewis. I'm serious here.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Obviously but I was more wondering whether she had asked for money and he told her to fuck off or if she just never actually thought he would come but then surely she would have given a fake address.

A few days before she told me her boss had found out that I was coming over as he had read her Skype and was demanding half of whatever I spent during the trip. She used this to still work whilst I was there and tell her boss that I had cancelled the trip.

She was just pretty aloof during the few days I was there. I'm not entirely sure why she invited me over, it worked against her because I don't think I actually went back to her room on the website (she kept asking me to come back but that I shouldn't spend any money) and I was becoming distant during our Skype chats as I knew nothing would ever happen. Whereas before I went I was dreaming that I'd use the money that I'm hoping to get to bring her over here, which would have been a HUGE mistake.

[Adamski]

Kiko's out then.

[Kikó]

How was Kiev? When we went it was full on mental and full of crooks. Can't imagine it having improved?

[Giggles]

The place dying on it's arse for posts too and this shower chatting among themselves instead on it. What's the point?

[Adamski]

Just leave then you massive cunt.

[Giggles]

Just leave then you massive cunt.

Pipe down you pointless little boy.

[Adamski]

A few days before she told me her boss had found out that I was coming over as he had read her Skype and was demanding half of whatever I spent during the trip. She used this to still work whilst I was there and tell her boss that I had cancelled the trip.

She was just pretty aloof during the few days I was there. I'm not entirely sure why she invited me over, it worked against her because I don't think I actually went back to her room on the website (she kept asking me to come back but that I shouldn't spend any money) and I was becoming distant during our Skype chats as I knew nothing would ever happen. Whereas before I went I was dreaming that I'd use the money that I'm hoping to get to bring her over here, which would have been a HUGE mistake.

So you gave her money before you went out for her boss? Or have I read it wrong?

Was always going to end in tears but glad you didn't get bummed.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah, let's have a full holiday report.

Landed, she greeted me with her friend who also works on the website and we got into the taxi. I was in and out of sleep as I hadn't slept the night before with most of the time I was awake being thrown across the car due to the wank roads. The taxi had no seatbelts in the back and I smashed my head on the roof a couple of times. The taxi driver also went balls deep into a pothole around 2am Ukraine time so we had to sit outside in the freezing cold for 30 minutes or so whilst he changed it.

Arrived at her town, went to a shop to buy some shit and then to get keys for an apartment where we would stay. I wasn't happy but they wanted either my passport or driving licence to hold onto so I opted for the lesser of two evils and handed over my driving licence. Got there and then went to bed.

Then it was pretty much the same each day/night. She'd go to the studio where she did her camming, make me also use my tablet to visit her room, then she'd come back with her friend, we'd all talk for a little bit and then sleep until she would go back to the studio.

On the last night we went to a restaurant, had some food and she made me drink a few cocktails (2 or 3) and promised to give me a kiss if I did it. When the taxi came to take me back to the airport she gave me a half hearted hug and a peck on the cheek.

It was such a waste of money and 4 days.

[Magic]

What qualities is The Group looking for when accepting new members?

I've already tried, mate. Let's be honest if i can't get in you've got no chance.

[Adamski]

Pipe down you pointless little boy.

Pipe up you pensioner on a forum full of 'little boys'

[Giggles]

Pipe up you pensioner on a forum full of 'little boys'

Take me to the burn unit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So you gave her money before you went out for her boss? Or have I read it wrong?

Was always going to end in tears but glad you didn't get bummed.
No, he wanted 50% of everything that I spent during the time in Ukraine if I was to go is what she told me. Including all taxi money (I paid $400 total for the 6 hours to her town and back to Kiev), any presents etc etc. So she told him I wasn't coming and we got an apartment so he wouldn't know I was staying there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How was Kiev? When we went it was full on mental and full of crooks. Can't imagine it having improved?

No idea, instantly got into a taxi and went.

The roads in the Ukraine were a fucking abomination though.

[Lewis]

Landed, she greeted me with her friend who also works on the website and we got into the taxi. I was in and out of sleep as I hadn't slept the night before with most of the time I was awake being thrown across the car due to the wank roads. The taxi had no seatbelts in the back and I smashed my head on the roof a couple of times. The taxi driver also went balls deep into a pothole around 2am Ukraine time so we had to sit outside in the freezing cold for 30 minutes or so whilst he changed it.

Arrived at her town, went to a shop to buy some shit and then to get keys for an apartment where we would stay. I wasn't happy but they wanted either my passport or driving licence to hold onto so I opted for the lesser of two evils and handed over my driving licence. Got there and then went to bed.

Then it was pretty much the same each day/night. She'd go to the studio where she did her camming, make me also use my tablet to visit her room, then she'd come back with her friend, we'd all talk for a little bit and then sleep until she would go back to the studio.

On the last night we went to a restaurant, had some food and she made me drink a few cocktails (2 or 3) and promised to give me a kiss if I did it. When the taxi came to take me back to the airport she gave me a half hearted hug and a peck on the cheek.

It was such a waste of money and 4 days.

:cool:

Did you sniff her clothes or anything?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

No but I almost died not farting or taking a shit whilst she was there.

It was torture holding all those gasses in.

[Lewis]

This is amazing. Did you create this thread knowing somebody would give you the opportunity to tell us about it?

[Shindig]

Once it looked like it wasn't on, you should've just let rip. Give her something to remember you by. I've recently discovered a line I can't cross. I reviewed a game called Rally Copters this week and I really, really wanted to give it a Colin McRae tagline. I couldn't do it. I had five different options all swimming in my head and I just couldn't convince myself they were great to put down for public consumption.

This comes hours after being temporarily banned from Giant Bomb's forums for suggesting a Swedish skier dying whilst filming for Ubisoft's Steep was 'one way to get your name on the box.'

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This is amazing. Did you create this thread knowing somebody would give you the opportunity to tell us about it?

Nope but I had been thinking of creating a thread for a few months. A little happy that it's turned out this way.

[SvN]

So hold on, while you were in Ukraine you were still visiting her chat room via your tablet? Am I reading that right?

[Magic]

Mahow is happy at the way this has turned out. Fucking oyft.

[Bernanke]

No idea, instantly got into a taxi and went.

The roads in the Ukraine were a fucking abomination though.

I loved the high-ways close to Kiev, they where like 2 times as wide as anything we have in Sweden.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So hold on, while you were in Ukraine you were still visiting her chat room via your tablet? Am I reading that right?

Yeah, she told me to do so.

A couple of months before I actually went out there I genuinely hated it all. I could only be in there for a maximum of 20 minutes at a time, it was fucking awful.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mahow is happy at the way this has turned out. Fucking oyft.
I'm happy that it's all come out.

I loved the high-ways close to Kiev, they where like 2 times as wide as anything we have in Sweden.
Yeah just outside Kiev they were fine, I thought my Dad was being too harsh on the roads or they had improved since he had last been. Just outside of Kiev though and you couldn't call them roads, they were about 90% potholes.

[SvN]

So the entire thing was a waste of time, really then. Did she ask for any money while you were over there? This entire "my boss wants half" thing reeks of a scam, because it just makes no sense at all.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So the entire thing was a waste of time, really then. Did she ask for any money while you were over there? This entire "my boss wants half" thing reeks of a scam, because it just makes no sense at all.
Nope.

I know, that set alarm bells going off and yet nothing really came of it.

[Disco]

Did you try your new language out on her?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Did you try your new language out on her?

I didn't have it then, I was actually attempting to learn Russian at that time.

[Disco]

You should just go the whole hog, learn elvish and buy a fedora.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You should just go the whole hog, learn elvish and buy a fedora.
Sadly hats just don't work on me.

[Spammer]

Wow. Can't believe that happened.

And yet still no pictures.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Wow. Can't believe that happened.

And yet still no pictures.

Of her? Google it.

[Lewis]

No, selfies and that that you took out there.

[7om]

Did you try it on at all with her, Mahow?

Don't tell me you went all that way just to sit off camera and mod her chat room?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

No, selfies and that that you took out there.
I deleted them all.

Did you try it on at all with her, Mahow?

Don't tell me you went all that way just to sit off camera and mod her chat room?
By trying it all you mean hoping she made the first move? If so, yes.

Going out there was me doing the most that I could do, I physically couldn't attempt to try anything. I was far too scared.

[Waffdon]

Oh my days.

[mugbull]

Honestly beyond anything I've ever heard in my life. Incredible. I didn't know people like Mahow existed.

[Lewis]

Remember when you used to post as a twenty-four year old tennis player whose bird finished with him after having an abortion?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Honestly beyond anything I've ever heard in my life. Incredible. I didn't know people like Mahow existed.
Crippling social anxiety around hot females and a complete lack of self confidence will do this.

It's why I didn't talk on the cam site until last year as I always knew that I could get sucked in like this.

[mugbull]

Remember when you used to post as a twenty-four year old tennis player whose bird finished with him after having an abortion?

True, but I was 13 years old then. Plus my thing was pretty low risk / low involvement.

[Byron]

Remember when you used to post as a twenty-four year old tennis player whose bird finished with him after having an abortion?

Remember Hulls Tiger?

[Baz]

Disappointed I wasn't part of The Group. We all know I'm good at internet stalking.

[Andrew]

This is up there with the guy who started a thread on him believing he had become involved with a load of mafia types and then just disappeared when he said he was going to the police.

[Adamski]

I didn't realise the initial story was on the old board, gutted that's lost.

[SvN]

Yeah it's a shame the old board seems fully dead now.