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View Full Version : We're All Going On A Carpathian Holiday.



Disco
05-07-2016, 10:42 PM
Been meaning to do another one of these for a while and this time I thought I'd inflict my velvety Westcountry tones on you all at the same time.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4jrV4GLFeU&feature=youtu.be

Be kind.

ItalAussie
05-07-2016, 10:51 PM
I could definitely imagine you reading the news on the radio. Very smooth.

John
06-07-2016, 12:17 AM
Could definitely do the football scores.

Yevrah
06-07-2016, 12:25 AM
Cracking stuff Disco.

Spoonsky
06-07-2016, 03:56 AM
Yeah, I feel like I've tuned into the BBC World Service at midnight.

Ian
06-07-2016, 05:59 AM
Disco's CK2 reports. :drool: Will be on this later.

Your vast superiority to me in this doesn't make me feel so inadequate now I've watched you drop Holy Hand Grenades at your own worm's feet(?), mind.

Ian
06-07-2016, 04:39 PM
Excellent, enjoyed that.

Alex
06-07-2016, 07:28 PM
Very good that, Disco.

Damn you for drawing me back into that game though.

Byron
07-07-2016, 05:29 AM
:drool: might have to fire this up now. Cracking video Disco

Disco
07-07-2016, 12:35 PM
Cheers peeps, I feel like I spent most of this getting annoyed with menus but here we go anyway:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDM_qEZ_fN4

Shindig
09-07-2016, 12:14 PM
Enjoying this, despite no knowledge of Crusader Kings. Trying to get a workable solution to do a Dark Souls playthrough. Audio levels are a nightmare to get right.

Disco
09-07-2016, 03:25 PM
I'm convinced I lucked into my setup, the audio just seemed to work and I stole a setup for recording video decently in OBS.

Shindig
09-07-2016, 03:52 PM
I also stole that setup. Streaming on the PC just doesn't work so hot. After some tinkering, it's finally nailed down. I can hear myself and the game audio, at long last.

Disco
09-07-2016, 04:12 PM
This one?

https://obsproject.com/forum/resources/how-to-make-high-quality-local-recordings.16/

Streaming quality is probably more about bitrate but I've never really looked into that.

Ian
11-07-2016, 05:16 PM
Enjoyed part 2. I chuckled quite a bit when midway through explaining something you saw one of the icons and said "Ooh, that looks like a bit of chocolate."

This has given me the urge to start a game of CK2 but the last four zillion times I've tried I've stared at the bit where you create your game for ten minutes and then shut it down.

Shindig
11-07-2016, 07:10 PM
This one?

https://obsproject.com/forum/resources/how-to-make-high-quality-local-recordings.16/

Streaming quality is probably more about bitrate but I've never really looked into that.

The very same. Bitrate's the big factor. When I stream, I end up having low bitrate due to my upload rate being crap.

Disco
12-07-2016, 05:03 PM
Enjoyed part 2. I chuckled quite a bit when midway through explaining something you saw one of the icons and said "Ooh, that looks like a bit of chocolate."

This has given me the urge to start a game of CK2 but the last four zillion times I've tried I've stared at the bit where you create your game for ten minutes and then shut it down.

I still have to look twice at that one, it really does look like a choc ice or something.

Disco
12-07-2016, 10:57 PM
You may wonder what life is like for a 14 year old king, I was expecting it to be all ice cream, hookers, and crushing anxiety around the opposite sex but the reality would appear to be quite different and indeed much more like real life. I'm disappointed to discover that my time is mostly taken up with learning stuff and having creepy uncles trying to take my shit (biros, rubiks cubes, those are the only Hungarian things I can think of).

Because my Stewardship is so low (like, actually zero) I pick that as my Learning Focus which will hopefully make me less rubbish at, I don't know, counting stuff I suppose.

http://i.imgur.com/HGhDHNk.jpg

This shot is from the instant I unpause the game and the first wanker uncles waste no time in doing what it will turn out they do best, namely making worryingly powerful factions to annoy me.

http://i.imgur.com/rGQXqLC.jpg


Special mention for Duke Laszlo who, as you can see from this muuuch later screenie (organisation, I do not have it) is both from Transylvania and has a properly dirty 'tache. We'll be seeing him again later.

http://i.imgur.com/5o3Kx7h.jpg


In general though (apart from already being married) it's pretty standard teenage fare. I like bears...

http://i.imgur.com/UBzZV52.jpg

...and dislike homework.

http://i.imgur.com/YlkW9QT.jpg

Slothful, great, yet another shitty trait that is going to piss off all the Uncle Dukes. I decide to confound all their expectations (and also because I said I would in a video and now I kind of feel like I have to) and vow to bring pimply, awkward boner death to the land of beige. Happily they already seem to be embroiled in a little war of their own...

http://i.imgur.com/qDbeojT.jpg

Pecheneg are trying to swipe that province from the sort of light olivey colour nation to their north, they're not having it all their own way though as light olive-land have taken a fief or two of their own. So using my own keen martial sense (but apparently not any memory of my own video) I judge this exactly the right time to strike. My Martial is 3 so there's no way this can go wrong.

http://i.imgur.com/jZxAEQI.jpg

TO WAR!! Stupid Pagans, get a proper religion like ours, we drink the blood and eat the flesh of our God every fucking week (he was made of tiny biscuits apparently), what have you got?

http://i.imgur.com/Ev1hN4e.jpg

Absolutely bugger all as it happens, we take an entire province before they even put in an appearance.

http://i.imgur.com/v5fZSGK.jpg

The filthy druid kissers try and skirt round us to retake their holdings and avoid a straight fight but they haven't reckoned on our mad jukes. As soon as we start moving into the same province they stop, leaving themselves open to a direct assault. It doesn't go well....for them.

http://i.imgur.com/QFTu6kM.jpg

And with them well and truly broken it's not long before...

http://i.imgur.com/gOoMMPD.jpg

Damn right I did, right up your Solstice.


Secret time! I was rather lucky here, handily cropped out of the previous pic (and not noticed at all by me until I came to edit it all together) was this:

http://i.imgur.com/HhiHD6K.jpg

Stranger Danger time, except I now know who they are and remember mentioning them in my own video :blush:

That's a socking great Cuman army, as fellow Pagans they'd been called into the war by Pecheneg and were about to smack my tits off when the war ended. Good job I never realised eh!


During all that a bit of character development went on and fuck me if I didn't get a favourable trait for once!

http://i.imgur.com/jNuLRs7.jpg

It's slightly soured by the message on screen at the same time.

http://i.imgur.com/KjpvoA4.jpg

Nothing like a bit of starvation to make a man of me.

http://i.imgur.com/IZJcEuF.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/4RUyfIw.jpg

We can conclude that the growth of terrible facial hair is not governed by Stewardship, because I have fuck all and have twinned that with a truly inadvisable 'stache. Uncle-Duke Laszlo would be proud.

I also waste absolutely no time in throwing one up my saucy Teutonic bride, which raises another question. How are we to name our children? I don't think I know enough notable Hungarians to stretch that conceit very far and naming everyone Nob-Willy gets old fast. Then I realised that I did know one Carpathian...


ON A MOUNTAIN OF SKULLS...

http://i.imgur.com/lTIHNfH.jpg



With the succession squared away (it does feel nice to say that, I shall enjoy it while it lasts) I get a cool multi-stage event which must have been added by some DLC or other, I'll spoiler it because there's about ten parts.


http://i.imgur.com/Iqyot9l.jpg

Exotic goods eh? Foreign realm? It all sounds rather glamorous, where are we going I wonder? The Far East? Maybe the sultry jungles of India?

http://i.imgur.com/zjKXMmO.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/pk0Kc1D.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/6A08JlQ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/1gkvLlG.jpg

Malta!?! Fucking Malta!? I can practically see that from here! Jesus christ lads, I've just paid for your bloody holidays haven't I?

http://i.imgur.com/DHfk86o.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/JT8buaW.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/uD8ByiJ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/hYC4VHz.jpg

It almost bankrupted me choosing some decent options (apart from the one which would have pissed off literally my entire clergy, no thanks!) but I think we made a profit in the end. It all seemed rather grand at the beginning but I suspect we'd have made more of a splash had we ended up getting further than the bloody Med.


That'll do for now, next time basically it's wall to wall wankers.

Disco
17-07-2016, 01:22 AM
In a change to the billed episode we're going to have a look at THE SUCCESSION, an area of the game I've never had any problems with in the past and anyway those posts are lost forever so I defy anyone to challenge that statement.

At first glance it appears to be going fairly smoothly, my sturdy German wife not only grants me a Non-Aggression pact with the HRE but is also plopping out the sproglets at a reasonable rate which allows us to continue with our naming convention as we pick up a second son...



...IN THE CASTLE OF PAIN...

http://i.imgur.com/UczT8iK.jpg



...and a daughter...



...I SAT ON A THRONE OF BLOOD.

http://i.imgur.com/YAtlJqq.jpg



...or two.



NOW IS THE SEASON OF EVIL.

http://i.imgur.com/mC66NOb.jpg

And yes, I am determined to beat this reference to death.


Smooth sailing on the family front then.

http://i.imgur.com/VFjWXde.jpg

Or not, what the fuck is going on here? Oh right, this seemingly rather major event in my life happened with nothing more than this tiny message in the corner.

http://i.imgur.com/dKVugbk.jpg

Depression, jesus that's a bit grim. It can't have been the food (because firstly she's German so Hungarian food can only be an improvement, and secondly who hates paprika with literally everything?)

I have no idea what else it could have been...



http://i.imgur.com/DnmNbM9.jpg

Well yeah, ok, perhaps fathering multiple children with a Hungarian Uncle Monty wasn't exactly a fairy tale but it's my glands, honest.



Having a scout around Europe for eligible brides doesn't throw up very much, we have two sons so I don't really care about marrying for claims so I just need someone with decent Stewardship (it helps with demense size and mine is quite frankly shite) and a reasonable rank for a bit of extra Prestige.

Two candidates immediately stand out, and by stand out I mean they're literally the only options.

http://i.imgur.com/5UyO8Pw.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/UXwVV8n.jpg

Good lord, as much as I like the prospect of closer links with Norway I'm not sure I'm willing to snuggle up to a hunchbacked pensioner to get them. So the winner of Wife Factor 1085 is, rather by default...

http://i.imgur.com/TxsiYU2.jpg

The wedding, although profitable (I presume we sold all the extra toasters and bathroom linens) hasn't gone down brilliantly with the inlaws.

http://i.imgur.com/fNEmRne.jpg

We quickly get down the to business of filling up the Arpad nursery, suspiciously quickly some might say.

http://i.imgur.com/oJ8ybEV.jpg

This not only gives me some great little events popping up but also perhaps the creepiest picture I've ever seen in a CK pop-up.

http://i.imgur.com/aLqvj7s.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/ya8qfaK.jpg

It turns out I've been well and truly cucked (no-one tell mert) by none other than the King of Denmark, and no wonder.

http://i.imgur.com/Ask2DIR.jpg

He's not exactly a looker but just look at how many kids he's had already, he must impregnate people just by walking past them.

There's only really one option here though...

http://i.imgur.com/vsAkN1k.jpg

...and I worry slightly for my moral centre as I imprison a pregnant woman.

http://i.imgur.com/k6Wr6LZ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/quxP1YJ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/Q3xQVMi.jpg

So, in a very short space of time I've apparently bored one wife to death and driven the next into a Danish pensioners bed within minutes of marrying her. I'm also beginning to think my moustache may be stuck on.

http://i.imgur.com/oqvDe6X.jpg

I believe the term is Beta as fuck.

ItalAussie
17-07-2016, 02:44 AM
Let me be the first to congratulate you on your marital bliss. I realise it didn't last, but Danes, right?

Disco
17-07-2016, 12:37 PM
We're still married but I've had to change our status to 'It's complicated' (I'm also possibly going to murder her son which probably won't help matters). On the subject of Danes I dug a little further into their family tree and their king was not only syphilitic but literally every single one of his kids were legitimized bastards. It's an entire nation full of bastards, which you have to respect really.

Ian
17-07-2016, 12:41 PM
Laughed quite a bit at that.

That Danish king, though. :cool:

EDIT: So he's the Walder Frey of CK2 then?

Disco
17-07-2016, 02:12 PM
Basically, 15 children and as far as I can see all of them are bastards, I suppose he could have many more which haven't been recognised or (like in my case) are at other people's courts.

Also, my wife is now well and truly fucking riddled :sick:

http://i.imgur.com/lI1PXBa.jpg

Ian
17-07-2016, 06:57 PM
She's a keeper.

Disco
17-07-2016, 09:58 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCuEBND8N6c&feature=youtu.be

Disco
18-07-2016, 09:28 PM
The key to me unlocking most of northern Europe has smallpox, this could be happening lads.

http://i.imgur.com/O7VaQlW.jpg

Ian
21-07-2016, 05:19 PM
I'm not sure if we're treating this as a proper CK2 thread or if at such point as me or anybody else does a proper save we'll start a main one, but:

https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2016/07/21/crusader-kings-ii-reapers-due-plague/

Disco
21-07-2016, 05:35 PM
I'm not sure how I feel about more ways to die horribly.

Disco
23-07-2016, 01:58 PM
Er...

http://i.imgur.com/Nbkt0Do.jpg

Raoul Duke
23-07-2016, 02:58 PM
Sounds like he mainly "seduces" himself

Disco
28-08-2016, 03:22 PM
I'm not sure this can be topped, it might be the most amazing achievement possible in this game.

http://imgur.com/a/K1utf

Raoul Duke
28-08-2016, 03:51 PM
That is amazing :D

I wonder if it's possible to have a horse as a Pope?

Disco
28-08-2016, 04:11 PM
If you can make one a Bishop then he can be Pope, it would be random chance though as the college of cardinals is pretty hard to influence.

Lewis
28-08-2016, 08:51 PM
This makes me want to play Victoria again. Can you get a version that isn't a buggy piece of First World War forgetting shit?

Disco
05-07-2018, 08:52 PM
Alright dickheads.

https://i.imgur.com/qm0MEze.jpg

Ian
05-07-2018, 08:56 PM
Video or gtfo.

Disco
09-07-2018, 05:35 PM
Not as simple as it should be I'm afraid. That save runs in three versions of the game that I've found, none of them stable enough to play. That one there loads fairly consistently but will crash everytime someone in your court dies (I think, that what it seems to be). I got it running long enough to take a screenshot, a shame really as there's a crusade for 'Germany' on which would give me the rest of the HRE.

Ian
09-07-2018, 06:25 PM
Excuses.

Disco
15-07-2018, 09:14 AM
Well yeah, obvs. Don't worry Ian I'll record something just for you if you like.

In other news I've been mucking about with Viceroyalties and I declare them the best thing ever.

Ian
15-07-2018, 10:03 AM
Well yeah, obvs. Don't worry Ian I'll record something just for you if you like.

:gay:

I kinda just wish I had it in me to get back into this. I'd say the last ten times I've launched it I've spent about fifteen minutes looking at the map and clicking on different countries then sighing and shutting down which is a shame because me and CK2 have had some excellent times.

Disco
16-07-2018, 05:26 PM
So, here's a thing. I think someone ate my dad.

He got invited round to a friends house, this guy:

https://i.imgur.com/HUvAG74.jpg

and he immediately 'died in suspicious circumstances'. And now he keeps asking my new ruler to come and visit him to. :uhoh:

Sir Andy Mahowry
16-07-2018, 06:21 PM
Show him who's boss. Eat his kids.

Shindig
16-07-2018, 07:58 PM
The Dragon of Northumbria sounds like a good Chinese place.

Alex
16-07-2018, 08:20 PM
:gay:

I kinda just wish I had it in me to get back into this. I'd say the last ten times I've launched it I've spent about fifteen minutes looking at the map and clicking on different countries then sighing and shutting down which is a shame because me and CK2 have had some excellent times.

We should do that thing we did a few years ago, where everyone picks the same starting character and posts updates on how we get on. At least I think that was on here.

Ian
17-07-2018, 05:45 AM
Yeah though I don't think it went on that long. Disco probably went from stable boy in a Belgian Duchy to thrashing the Byzantine empire in about a fortnight.

Disco
17-07-2018, 12:20 PM
What I get up to with Belgian stableboys is none of your business.

I'm game if others are, someone must have done a list of fun starts by now.

Cord
22-07-2018, 08:57 PM
I am up for a bit of concurrent CK2-ing. The thread on the old forum was one of the best.

Disco
23-07-2018, 09:49 AM
I made a list of possible starts, I'll post it after work and we'll see who's interested.

Disco
24-07-2018, 08:41 PM
Here we go:

Mathilda of Tuscany
Roger of Apulia - Duke of Sicily
Argau - Habsbergs in 1066

Pick any Rurikid

Byzantium - Any Duke you like

India - Never played there but there are elephants so how can it be bad?

Socotra - Tiny island at the bottom of the map which is one of the few early Nestorians

Disco
24-07-2018, 08:48 PM
In other news, my current game started as an attempt to restore Anglo Saxon England (a sort of medieval Brexit if you will) but we seem to have gone in a slightly different direction.

https://i.imgur.com/0VBWzBL.jpg

Btw, 'freely gave money to friends and family' is code for 'spent a good twenty years giving everyone massive bribes to push through Max Crown Authority'

Ian
24-07-2018, 09:24 PM
I think India was the last DLC I got but the game I tried to start there was a megagrind. I'll go whatever though.

I know I'm not matching Adalbert, the false war hero womaniser. Or Catherine "the Devil." The Queen of the archetypal Welby murder-spiral.

Sir Andy Mahowry
24-07-2018, 09:46 PM
I'll join but I was never that good and I don't think I've played in about 2 years.

Disco
25-07-2018, 05:27 PM
I like the idea of Byzantium but it can be a bit micro-heavy if you make it to Emperor (viceroyal kingdoms and duchies). I'd also be well up for starting as pagan but I have no idea which ones might be good.

Cord
25-07-2018, 06:30 PM
I think I've played as Roger of Sicily before, he's quite fun cause he starts off with a million kids that need to be managed off this mortal coil.

To be honest, I'll be dead after about ten years of whichever start we go for so it doesn't matter too much to me.