Europeans

[Magic]

What the actual absolute fuck is with inanimate objects having a gender? I find it utterly incredible. What's the background to this bizarre notion and why the hell has it stuck around?

And not only that, but to confuse things even further there are exceptions to this.

And not only THAT, but to confuse things even further than that, words are pronounced differently if you're an actual man or woman.

:sick:

[Spikey M]

https://youtu.be/oRzOK0YUVfs

[Pepe]

Classless cunts.

[Vim]

words are pronounced differently if you're an actual man or woman.


What do you mean by this?

[Magic]

What do you mean by this?

I'm re-learning Portuguese. Thanks for example is said differently depending on your sex. Must be a nightmare for all those non-binary trans freaks in Brazil.

[Pen]

You'll be glad to hear that Finnish is gender neutral to such an extent that we even have the same word for he and she.

[Vim]

Oh right, that would be because the word 'thanks' is an adjective in Portuguese. Simpler in English, of course.

[Pepe]

Please record yourself speaking Portuguese and share with us. :D

[John]

Bless. Adult literacy classes must be filled with some right twonks.

[randomlegend]

You're an inanimate object and you claim to have a gender, magic.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Portuguese is an absolute nonsense language. Makes perfect sense written down, but spoken it sounds like a deaf person speaking Russian.

[Magic]

Oh right, that would be because the word 'thanks' is an adjective in Portuguese. Simpler in English, of course.

What? :(

[Lewis]

lol at 're-learning', as if you ever knew it.

[Magic]

Bless. Adult literacy classes must be filled with some right twonks.

As if I would attend a class. But also lol @ this statement from the person who oft makes some right grammatical clangers.

[Magic]

How typical of TTH to try and make this a somehowaboutMJ thread. Well it's not happening, lads.

[Pepe]

How typical of TTH to try and make this a somehowaboutMJ thread. Well it's not happening, lads.

Alright Harold.

[Giggles]

Classic Magic.

[Pepe]

As if you didn't make this thread just to tell us how you're doing something other than masturbating at mutilated deer.

[Magic]

As if you didn't make this thread just to tell us how you're doing something other than masturbating at mutilated deer.

I'm just frustrated at such insidious sexism.

[Henry]

I've always wondered this. Is it only the Latin languages that have it, or is English the exception? And why the hell did it arise in the first place, being so cumbersome and all?

[Magic]

I'm sorry, but I'm still reeling at Vim's earlier post, if true. How the fuck is 'thanks' a bloody adjective?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Obliged.

[Pepe]

It's more 'I am thankful' than 'thank you.'

EDIT: Or that


Obliged.

[Magic]

Sounds like bullshit semantics to me. No wonder the EU is failing.

[randomlegend]

I'm just frustrated at such insidious sexism.

I had to do some Italian classes and we learned that all the top jobs only have a masculine form (or are only recently getting a feminine form).

[Pepe]

You're the one having trouble with such a basic concept mate.

[John]

As if I would attend a class. But also lol @ this statement from the person who oft makes some right grammatical clangers.

:harold:

Perhaps you should.

[Magic]

:harold:

Perhaps you should.

I knew it was a risk.

[Lewis]

Who's got this 'Human Pups' programme on? Why would you go on telly?

[Shindig]

Der, die oder das?

[John]

Who's got this 'Human Pups' programme on? Why would you go on telly?

I always come back to the bloke who fucked cars, and was cheating on his Mini with a Cortina or something, any time those things are on. I wonder how they're compensated. They had to restrain that one in the end when he got a bit lusty with their camera van, so maybe it's just pure exhibitionism driving them to it.

[Lewis]

Lots of them are claiming that it helps with their social anxiety. Mahow, mate...

[Pepe]

What's a Human Pup? Don't really want to Google it.

[Magic]

Fucking hell the Europeans have really ran with this idea.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not either but I'm envisaging some sort of George Galloway begging for milk scenario.

[Lewis]

The 'handlers' are arguably worse. The dog lads are at least throwing themselves right into the alternative aspect, unlike the silly cunt stood there in his jeans trying to keep a straight face.

[Magic]

The X Factor style judging. :D

[Lewis]

He's probably the biggest wrong'un in Britain, and yet he looked like a part-timer in that room full of European perverts.

[John]

Incidentally, Eurotrash is coming back. Shame Lolo Ferrari topped herself, she might have had an income again.

[Ian]

I'm glad I don't have to learn English as a foreign language if only for -ough.

There can't be many sets of identical letters which share entirely different sounds.

[Serj]

Yeah, pronunciation is a bit of a joke when it comes to English, especially because you lot love diphthongs so much, which isn't that usual, I've heard. Other than that, I think it's a piece of piss compared to most languages. German, though. Except for tenses and pronunciation (you get a set of letters that are really pronounced the same 99% of the time) it's basically English in hard mode. I'm really glad I didn't have to learn it as a foreigner.

[Vim]

I had to do some Italian classes and we learned that all the top jobs only have a masculine form (or are only recently getting a feminine form).

I mean, isn't it the same in English, where you call someone director not directress.

[Vim]

Learning English as a foreign language was really easy, I thought. Yes, there are loads of seemingly random pronunciations, but once you learn the useful ones then you can figure it out from there.

The grammar is far easier than in Italian or German, which I spoke before English, which made it really simple to learn verbs, adjectives etc.

The accent is really what I'm "working on" now, I don't mind a bit of an Italian accent because it doesn't sound comical like Indian or just really ugly like Russian, but I want to sound mostly mother tongue.

[Serj]

I'm able to pull off American English well enough that people in the States think I'm also from there in short conversations (helps that they have a terrible ear for accents). No chance with anything sounding remotely British, however. Even though they taught us British English (i.e. Received Pronunciation) in school and I've always watched a lot of TV shows/films from the UK, American pronuncation has always seemed like the 'easy default mode' of speaking English to me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Linguistically, American English is actually harder to speak, as they have stupid ugly vowels which come from funny corners of the mouth. British Engliah all comes from a nice comfortable area in the middle.

Say 'and' like a Brit, then like an American, and notice how much more work you're having to do up in the roof of your mouth for the American version.

[Serj]

That might actually be making it easier for me. I'm also having no problems picking up Dutch pronunciations and that language is all stupid ugly sounds that come straight from your stomach.

[randomlegend]

I mean, isn't it the same in English, where you call someone director not directress.

I don't think any English person would consider director to be gendered.

[Magic]

I don't think any English person would consider director to be gendered.

Apart from Harold.

[Vim]

I don't think any English person would consider director to be gendered.

I wouldn't call "direttore" gendered either, even though technically it's male gender gramatically. Isn't that the kind of word you were referring to for Italian?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Aren't all jobs masculine, or at least vary depending on who is doing them? My Italian is ropey but in Spanish you have enfermero/enfermera for a nurse, depending on whether it's a man or a woman.

[Vim]

Infermiere/infermiera also in Italian. It does depend on who is doing them, although for many jobs of authority I would use the masculine for both genders, at least that's what sounds right to me. Off the top of my head, I'd call a female ambassador "ambasciatore" which is gramatically masculine.

Speaking of which, I thought embassador was the correct spelling because of embassy, but apparently it's with an a.

[randomlegend]

I wouldn't call "direttore" gendered either, even though technically it's male gender gramatically. Isn't that the kind of word you were referring to for Italian?

Mate I got forced by the med school to do Italian for 10 weeks on a Tuesday evening because they are cunts. I'm just going by what the teacher (who was Italian) told us. She said most jobs have a male/female version but the top jobs traditionally didn't and people are now making up female versions.

If that's bollocks I'll give you her email address and you can take it up with her.

[Pepe]

She was full of it.

[John]

If that's bollocks I'll give you her email address and you can take it up with her.

Alright, Harold.

[randomlegend]

You're quite autistic about when people are joking/exaggerating.

[Spoonsky]

In related news, Simon is moving to Italy to teach English this summer.

[Mazuuurk]

Magic stop trying to appear intellectual.

[Bartholomert]

Turkey doesn't have gendered pronouns at all (you call everything it and figure it out by context) so you could say it's pretty much a feminist utopia.

[Spikey M]

This is about Europe mate.

[Pepe]

:D

[Magic]

What's the best way to start using phrases I've decided on myself? I tried Pimsleur but couldn't really put it in to practice and if I did I was lost on the reply.

[Disco]

What the hell are you talking about?

[Magic]

Fuck learning a new language, it's mega hard. I downloaded a EUROPEAN LEARNING PACK which has loads of shit in it. I've started with Teach Yourself Instant Portuguese which is good but it's quite in depth, far more than holiday wanker phrasery.

I might have to stick a couple of cocks in my mouth to master the correct pronunciations though.

[Pepe]

Has anyone successfully learned a language from one of those 'do it yourself' packs? The few I've checked out seemed a bit useless.

[Magic]

Dunno, the Rosetta stone ones and definitely the Pismleur ones are a load of shite. This one seems pretty fucking comprehensive for a week-by-week basis, and it's aim is to let you have a basic conversation. There's one after this all about grammar, not sure if I'll bother with that.

[Pepe]

The few I've tried were basically 'repeat this word/phrase. Great, now this one.' ad infinitum. I would much rather get some proper grammar.

[Magic]

Nah it's not like that. The first fucking chapter is a full on conversation on a plane in Portuguese, then it lists all the words involved and an audio chapter so you can hear the pronunciations slowly. I'm writing them down as they are spelt, then phonetically, then the meaning. I've done two full pages of A4 and I'm barely half way through. For fuck's sake.

[Lee]

I've bought the Speed Langage Learning Spanish kit about 2 years ago for £150 and never touched it. The reviews are very good indeed but it's quite intensive. I'll do it at some point. Probably.

On languages, earlier on me and Lauren were pissing about learning Welsh phrases on Duolingo (which is excellent for basics). We were repeating phrases aloud before we noticed that the family of eight on the table next to us were Welsh. Clearly thought we were mocking them. :face:

[Kikó]

I'm still doing Duolingo. It's limited - it says I know ~3000 words which is about 2000 less than a 5 year old would

It does a job but you need more to actually completely immerse yourself.

[Spoonsky]

Magic trying to steal Kiko's wife.

It is bloody hard though, I realized how out of my depth my French is in Paris this weekend despite having studied (not very hard, admittedly) for 4 years.

[Magic]

Lol @ me having a go at Europeans for their stupid shit.

I heard two Aberdonian taxi drivers having conversation yesterday:

"Ach, so it's twooooo hitels noo?"
"Aye, aye...fits it cried?"

[-james-]

I did German on duolingo for a few months, then went to Germany and soon realised I'd never actually said any of the words before. Was quite a mess.

[Kikó]

The missus and I are enrolled on a beginners Italian course in the new year to finally try and crack the language. I've been messing around for too long so this year I want to really nail it.

[Smiffy]

It was learning Italian that fucked it up with my 'vicino'. I should have stuck to what I know.

[Magic]

Trying to learn Spanish at least to a bare minimum level before April.

[-james-]

Trying to learn Spanish at least to a bare minimum level before April.

Same haha.

Duolingo says I'm 5% fluent.

I've just set my facebook to be in Spanish. #immersion

[Magic]

I'm using Michel Thomas audiobooks.

Edit; the only problem is Michel is French, and I can barely understand the old cunt when he's speaking English, never mind Spanish.

Edit 2: Facebook set to Spanish. It's a shame it doesn't actually change the statuses so I didn't have to read about other people's lives.

[Jimmy Floyd]

In more midlife crisis moments, I've thought about becoming a language teacher to the Surrey versions of mugs like you two (middle aged rich women). I can easily cover that level of language and I'm probably good enough at teaching to do it. £25 an hour? Better even, who knows.

El guapo Pedro viene en la habitación para joder la mujer inglesa con más dinero que dignidad.

[-james-]

Venezuelan you (https://www.italki.com/teacher/3015628) has beaten you to it, for a fifth of the price.

[Jimmy Floyd]

lol, they should wait until the Pakistanis cotton on and start doing it for 30 cents an hour.

[Boydy]

A friend of mine did quite a bit of tutoring during uni and made a decent amount off it. It was mostly for GCSE and A level students. Languages were in pretty high demand, it seemed. He did German and Latin (where the real money is).

[mugbull]

I bet a white guy could teach Korean to the child of a Korean family for good money

[Chrissy]

Hate to break it to you Magic but you are European.

[Magic]

Well after failing to stick with Spanish and humiliating myself multiple times on holiday, I'm going to have yet another crack at Portuguese. I've got 2 months to learn at least something and because it's 8 days I think it'll be worth it.

EDIT: Lol, the book says study little but often, perhaps an hour a day.

I think I'll go and ride my bike instead.

EDIT 2: Fuck it too windy, I'll just browse Reddit instead.

EDIT 3: Sigh...fuck it I'll just browse extreme porn instead.

[phonics]

Magic, do you already know any other languages to a level where you could confidently hold a conversation? If not, don't bother, you're too old, unless you literally moved to Lisbon and didn't speak English for 6 months it's not happening.

[Magic]

Nope!

[phonics]

Yeah don't waste your time, find a different hobby. It's hard for 15 year olds let alone those twice the age. My french is still shockingly bad considering.

[Magic]

I just want to be able to show off and pretend I'm bi-lingual and have a massive cock though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Spanish is far easier than Portuguese.

[phonics]

Take up woodwork and carve yourself a chubster instead then. It'll give you a good way to ignore the wife without coming across like a nerd/wimp.

[Offshore Toon]

All you need to do to get by in Portugal is perv on underage girls, stop showering and spit every five seconds.

When you get annoyed just shout 'foda-se'.

[Magic]

Spanish is far easier than Portuguese.

I know, but I only went for 4 days and the likelihood of me going back is absolutely minimal. I'll go to Portugal every year.

[phonics]

It's also the worst language, who wants to sound like a German attempting Spanish?

[Magic]

It's also the worst language, who wants to sound like a German attempting Spanish?

Lol I just listened to some pronunciation on the CD and I thought there was a mongol shouting at me.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, unsurprisingly its a very ugly language.

[Adamski]

I know, but I only went for 4 days and the likelihood of me going back is absolutely minimal. I'll go to Portugal every year.

That sounds fantastic.

[Magic]

That sounds fantastic.

It is. Kiko agrees with me, and SvN so why don't you stick that in your semi but not quite successful pipe and choke on it, cunt.

[Magic]

And also fuck you fonics, this is why you've went downwards from air stewardess to Twitter handle expert you wet hinge.

[phonics]

?

It's only 3pm Magic, bit early to get on the Bucky.

[Magic]

Someone who has the motivation and discipline of Boildheady telling me not to bother with something is an absolute red rag to a bull.

[phonics]

I can get to 5pm before cracking into the liqor cabinet so I clearly have a bit more discipline than you. What is a 'Boildheady'?

[Magic]

It was a quite clever play on words which unsurprisingly went over your head.

[phonics]

Go to AA.

[Magic]

I have a lease car so no, and also I have private cover with Greenflag.

[Spoonsky]

Will it really be worth dedicating yourself for multiple months just to be less useless for a week? Unless you're traveling with someone Portuguese the opportunity for actual conversation will probably be limited as well. Me I don't see the point of learning a language you won't be using regularly, unless you really enjoy learning languages for their own sake.

Not to mention that Portuguese is a real bastard as well. They have sounds we just don't have.

[Offshore Toon]

If you do bother to try and learn, remember to gargle the words.

[Magic]

Our junkies are quite nasally so it makes perfect sense for me to learn Portuguese. They have sounds we very much have.

EDIT: I'm not having a fluent attempt here, by the way. Just the vocabulary of a 3 year old will do me.

EDIT 2: Not like my daughter's when she was 3 though, as that'd make me adult levels of fluent.

[Spikey M]

Uno Stella por favor.

[Raoul Duke]

I spoke almost zero Portuguese in Lisbon and got by fine

[Magic]

Shit I mixed up Raoul and SvN again :*******)

Also I'm not going to Lisbon.

[phonics]

Our junkies are quite nasally so it makes perfect sense for me to learn Portuguese. They have sounds we very much have.

EDIT: I'm not having a fluent attempt here, by the way. Just the vocabulary of a 3 year old will do me.

EDIT 2: Not like my daughter's when she was 3 though, as that'd make me adult levels of fluent.

Then that should take you less than an hour looking at a phrase book if you're not retarded.

Edit: Numbers up to 10. 1st and 3rd person of have and be and working out the basic sentence structure and you're done

[Adamski]

Shit I mixed up Raoul and SvN again :*******)

Also I'm not going to Lisbon.

Go to the Algarve mate, that'll be loads better.

[John]

Of course he'll go to the Algarve. If he does really well he'll get a little holiday home on the outskirts of Albufeira and bore everyone to death talking about fresh mussels.

[Kikó]

I'm hoping to pick up enough Portuguese to make me semi fluent but it's a difficult language. At least I have my missus and family to practice it with.

[Magic]

So much jealousy, lads.

[Spikey M]

It's just a slightly less shit Spain. What's the point?

[Shindig]

Durham's Italian as fuck, this week. I don't know what they get from seeing a shitter Cathedral but I like their filthy accents.