Should I become a professional BBall Player (Useless Talent Thread)

[Bartholomert]

So I just got done with exams yesterday. I thought I'd hit the gym today given that I'd let things slide a little in the last few weeks, and I started off with a little bit of pick up basketball. After a few games I did a shooting drill thing with one of the guys I had played with where we shoot from 5 spots beyond the 3-point line and you shoot until you make 8, while the other rebounds. I made it all the way around and shot 40/46 which is about 87%. This is not unusual although probably on the upper end of how I usually do. Guy told me afterwards that it was one of the most incredible things he's ever seen.

So this got me thinking, and I did a bit of research. An out of shape, out of practice, overweight, hungover and experiencing severe stimulant and nicotine withdrawal Mert casually shot well enough to have won every single NBA 3-point competition in history, most by a wide margin.

Should I care about this? Is this something worth seriously pursuing (my dad played semi professionally in Turkey before tearing his ACL)? To make this a thread, what useless talents do you have?

[Giggles]

So I just got done with exams yesterday. I thought I'd hit the gym today given that I'd let things slide a little in the last few weeks, and I started off with a little bit of pick up basketball. After a few games I did a shooting drill thing with one of the guys I had played with where we shoot from 5 spots beyond the 3-point line and you shoot until you make 8, while the other rebounds. I made it all the way around and shot 40/46 which is about 87%. This is not unusual although probably on the upper end of how I usually do. Guy told me afterwards that it was one of the most incredible things he's ever seen.

So this got me thinking, and I did a bit of research. An out of shape, out of practice, overweight, hungover and experiencing severe stimulant and nicotine withdrawal Mert casually shot well enough to have won every single NBA 3-point competition in history, most by a wide margin.

Should I care about this? Is this something worth seriously pursuing (my dad played semi professionally in Turkey before tearing his ACL)? To make this a thread, what useless talents do you have?

I'm able to smell bullshit from a mile off.

[Pepe]

Did you get a BJ afterwards?

[Bartholomert]

I'm able to smell bullshit from a mile off.

I regularly hit about 80% of unguarded 3s, I've played since I was a little kid. I could provide a video of me hitting 10 in a row tomorrow if you seriously doubt it.

I feel like I could push that to 90-95% if I dedicated a summer to it.

[P_3]

I could provide a video of me hitting 10 in a row tomorrow if you seriously doubt it.

Yes please.

[Spoonsky]

Following dreams is for pussies.

[Lewis]

'I'll let you judge that when I tell you that we were once supported by a little-known Scottish outfit called Texas.'

[Bartholomert]

Yes please.

What do I get in return? What will TTH provide me for the inconvenience of having to entertain your jealousy / shittiness?

Surely if you're so confident I'm full of shit you wouldn't be afraid to put an embarrassing video of yourself on the line.

[Pepe]

Being really good at 3s might get you a gig with the Globetrotters if you can score them in lulzy ways. I suggest you practice that.

[P_3]

What do I get in return? What will TTH provide me for the inconvenience of having to entertain your jealousy / shittiness?

Surely if you're so confident I'm full of shit you wouldn't be afraid to put an embarrassing video of yourself on the line.
Respect and adoration from your groupies should suffice. I for one would be impressed to see point-shooting of such quality from a fellow forumite.

[Bartholomert]

Respect and adoration from your groupies should suffice. I for one would be impressed to see point-shooting of such quality from a fellow forumite.

Nope. What are you willing to offer, I'm full of shit right? no way I can follow through, so why not play along?

[randomlegend]

You're so retarded :D

[P_3]

If I had a talent worth making a video of and putting in this thread, I would.

[Bartholomert]

If I had a talent worth making a video of and putting in this thread, I would.

How about a video where you say 'I'm a beta cuck and I'd let Mert fuck my mum and girlfriend if he would have them but he won't because he is too alpha'

[John Arne]

Classic Mert.

[Spoonsky]

I don't doubt you, but it would still be fun to watch.

Where would you even start in trying to become a pro b-ball player at your age? It seems like most people go through college but obviously that ship has sailed.

[Spikey M]

Aren't you about 5ft?

[Magic]

Aren't you about 5ft?

That's just his nose m8 lol.

[Baz]

> boasts
> gets called BS
> offers to posts video evidence
> offer accepted
> changes mind about posting video
> still looks like the dad from the dinosaurs (credit: sincere)
!/>

[Giggles]

Backtracking on the video :D

Sniveling little rodent.

[Queenslander]

Come play in the NBL then get re-drafted back to a US College.

[Magic]

BBall isn't for fat Turks anyway.

[Kikó]

Bring back Doris.

[Samadini]

I don't doubt you, but it would still be fun to watch.

Where would you even start in trying to become a pro b-ball player at your age? It seems like most people go through college but obviously that ship has sailed.

Bill Murray only had to play a few minutes for the Tune Squad before Michael Jordan realised he had the talent to play in the NBA.

Mert just needs that small amount of exposure, this proposed video is the way to go. Stomping all over his shit friends in the ilk of six year old Juan Carlos Chera.

[Spikey M]

I beat some fat fuck at work in an arm wrestle the other week. Might become a professional athlete. Videos of arm wrestles to follow when my wife gets back.

[GS]

What do I get in return? What will TTH provide me for the inconvenience of having to entertain your jealousy / shittiness?

I propose you're banned for three months if you don't post the video. Having suggested it as evidence that the opening post isn't bullshit, you can't then try and wager it as if it's a different thing.

[niko_cee]

Is this in the realm of being really good at keepie-ups?

[Mike]

I propose you're banned for three months if you don't post the video. Having suggested it as evidence that the opening post isn't bullshit, you can't then try and wager it as if it's a different thing.

I second this. He offered a video as proof, then when asked for the video started asked for stupid stuff.

[SvN]

He looks like a dick every time he posts. Let him continue to do so.

[igor_balis]

Hey I'm pretty good at pool.

[Kikó]

I beat some fat fuck at work in an arm wrestle the other week. Might become a professional athlete. Videos of arm wrestles to follow when my wife gets back.

You work with your wife?

[Bernanke]

I could provide a video of me hitting 10 in a row tomorrow if you seriously doubt it.


What do I get in return? What will TTH provide me for the inconvenience of having to entertain your jealousy / shittiness?

Fucking hell. :D

[Giggles]

Mert later on:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-n9QcmEjVo

[Spikey M]

You work with your wife?

No.

[Bernanke]

Found the footage:

http://imgur.com/gallery/VhN0D2B

[Manc]

Procrastinating. I'd imagine were all top dollar on here.

[Bartholomert]

How about a video where you say 'I'm a beta cuck and I'd let Mert fuck my mum and girlfriend if he would have them but he won't because he is too alpha'

Who's willing to wager this video? I've been busy packing/moving the last few days but the offer is on the table. Like I said, if I'm full of shit then there's no risk, I'm happy to take a 3 month or permanent or however many month ban if I don't follow through.

[Shindig]

If you were good enough you'd not be asking the question. Also, you'd have started at a much younger age instead of what? 22?

[Giggles]

Who's willing to wager this video? I've been busy packing/moving the last few days but the offer is on the table. Like I said, if I'm full of shit then there's no risk, I'm happy to take a 3 month or permanent or however many month ban if I don't follow through.

You already offered without anything in return and then pussied out, so you should be banned already.

[Bartholomert]

You already offered without anything in return and then pussied out, so you should be banned already.

A gratuitous promise isn't a binding contract because no consideration unless promissory estoppel due to reasonably foreseeable reliance which in fact occurred bitch.

[Kikó]

Either do it or don't. No one gives a fuck.

[Magic]

University definitely makes some people more stupid.

[Disco]

I really didn't care in the first place, post it or shut the fuck up.

[Smiffy]

.....

[bruhnaldo]

Is this in the realm of being really good at keepie-ups?

It's not even that, if I'm honest.

[bruhnaldo]

also, nobody even asked you to prove it. you offered to prove it yourself.

secondly, making uncontested "three pointers" (i'm sure you're not playing on an NBA regulation court) isn't exactly mind blowing. lots of people can do that.

i don't think you appreciate just how good at basketball you have to be to be in the NBA.

[ItalAussie]

My friend roomed with Andre Iguodala in college at Arizona. Reckoned that he'd never seen anything like the physical ability and talent that the college side had.

The thing about three-pointers is that they're only uncontested when the players were carefully reading the play to generate them. Still, if you're accurate, you could draw defenders in a pick-up game, and that's not nothing.

[Giggles]

My friend roomed with Andrew Iguadola in college at Arizona. Reckoned that he'd never seen anything like the physical ability and talent that the college side had.

The thing about three-pointers is that they're only uncontested when the players were carefully reading the play to generate them. Still, if you're accurate, you could draw defenders in a pick-up game, and that's not nothing.

But, mert.

I'm sure all the top players have a 40 year olds belly too.

[Bartholomert]

But, mert.

I'm sure all the top players have a 40 year olds belly too.

Yo I lost like 30 pounds tho, down from like 215 -> 185~

Also I'm back home now (hence the extra volume of bored posting lately), I promise I'll do this for the lulz eventually once I have access to a basketball court again.

[ItalAussie]

But, mert.

I'm sure all the top players have a 40 year olds belly too.

That's pretty much how Shaq turned up to the Lakers after each off-season, in fairness.

[Pepe]

Mert could be a midget Oliver Miller.

[Ian]

Lads, Mert has promised. That's as close to a guarantee as life offers.

[Lewis]

On a related note, I've just seen some quality racist aggro in the local takeaway.

This gobshite slapped the window before he came in to scare his group who were already sitting there waiting, so the owner told him to 'get the fuck out'. Cue a racist chimp out, the owner holding his boys back behind the counter, and two lasses trying to talk this idiot down. The geezer who runs it is Iranian and has lived here since forever, and Iranians don't just pitch up in East Yorkshire unless they've got a shady past, so I reckon this lad will end up dead in the coming days.

[Disco]

Mert being compared to Shaq. What times we live in.

[ItalAussie]

Merq.

[Disco]

Better (if less appropriate) than Shart.

[Lewis]

Was 'Shaq' a good basketballer or did he just dominate everybody physically?

[Pepe]

Physicality was obviously his main advantage, but other players as big as him where nowhere near as effective, so he obviously had some skills. He couldn't score a free throw to save his life though, which is pretty lol.

Is there an explanation as to why the big lads are so bad at free throws?

[7om]

Didn't Shaq have defective wrists or something? Probably would explain why he shot free throws like he was chucking a baseball.

He was more than just size, though. The geezer had genuine talent and scary athleticism considering he was 7'1 and about 25 stone.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He broke them as a child and they didn't heal fully.

I wonder what this guys problem was though:

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1853315/worstftever.gif

[ItalAussie]

Didn't Shaq have defective wrists or something? Probably would explain why he shot free throws like he was chucking a baseball.

He was more than just size, though. The geezer had genuine talent and scary athleticism considering he was 7'1 and about 25 stone.

Yep. Other players have had size, and not been able to do anything with it.

Physicality was essential to his game, but it wouldn't have been nearly enough on its own. It's not like the guys he was tussling with in the paint were 80-pound weaklings. He was really good at seeing small gaps, and then using his physicality to drive through them - Karl Malone and Charles Barkley both had that same knack.

[Baz]

Shaq was a better rapper than ball-player. :nod: