Golf enthusiasts

[Sam]

I've got a cashout of £150 on Ricky Barnes in the Valero Open in Texas. Will he win the final day?

[Pleb]

He's leading by two so unless scenes happen you might have probably cashed out too early.

[Sam]

He's leading by two so unless scenes happen you might have probably cashed out too early.

I haven't, wondering whether the nerve will hold.

[leedsrevolution]

I'm assuming he hasn't cashed out yet.

[Magic]

Definitely don't cash out.

[Sam]

Will resist. The win will be a sizable dent out of holiday debts.

[Waffdon]

Cash out and stick it on Hamilton tomorrow xxx

[Mike]

If you don't cash out how much do you win?

[-james-]

If you do decide to cash out (you shouldn't), then laying your selection on Betfair is always the better choice.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's leading by two so unless scenes happen you might have probably cashed out too early.

A 2 shot lead isn't that great, scenes don't need to be had to see him lose.

I wouldn't be cashing out.

[Sam]

A 2 shot lead isn't that great, scenes don't need to be had to see him lose.

I wouldn't be cashing out.

This is my fear.

Win is £424 on a few quid, which is a month of rent, nice bonus, hence the quest as I just read an article and bet.

[Sam]

He's gone three clear.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He will definitely not win. Cash the fuck out right now.

[Waffdon]

Cash out for fuck sake SAM

[Magic]

The seethe when he doesn't cash out and is rolling in it. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Turned professional 2003

Professional wins (1)[edit]
2010 CVS Caremark Charity Classic (with J. B. Holmes)

^^ a joke pairs event. Just cash out.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Tied SECOND at the US Open once though :drool:

Luke Donald seems to be making a charge now, if you didn't cash out when he was 4 shots up you should probably be looking to do so soon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I posted the first warning when he was three shots clear, he bogeyed the last hole with a farcical hack around a par 5 as soon as he saw he was sitting pretty, you've already missed your chance if you didn't cash out. With golfers it's all in the head, many just aren't cut out to win and Ricky Barnes is one of them.

The lead will go within the first three holes tomorrow and he'll finish about 9th.

[Magic]

:D

[Sam]

I cashed after the first warning. :D

[Magic]

:moop:

[Jimmy Floyd]

You'll go far, son.

[Boydy]

I thought we might have had a golf thread but this will do since it's served its original purpose now.

I'm thinking about taking up golf but I'm not really sure where to start or anything. What's the easiest way to give it a go without making any huge commitment?

[Lewis]

Isn't golf the only 'sport' (maybe tennis as well) that you really need to have proper lessons and that for so that you don't disable yourself trying to overcome shit technique and bad habits?

[Giggles]

I thought we might have had a golf thread but this will do since it's served its original purpose now.

I'm thinking about taking up golf but I'm not really sure where to start or anything. What's the easiest way to give it a go without making any huge commitment?

Buy a 6 iron, 8 iron, wedge, and putter second hand (or a half set if you can't find separate ones cheap) and find a Par-3 close by and see if you like it first. Golf clubs are still fairly exclusive places so nobody will want you there if you aren't to some sort of standard, so try the par 3 first (holes normally from 90 to 150 yards) and a driving range and see how it goes after a while.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah pretty much.

I've been thinking of taking it up too, when I have the money available.

I imagine it must be a great way to spend a day when the weather is nice.

[Dark Soldier]

I thought we might have had a golf thread but this will do since it's served its original purpose now.

I'm thinking about taking up golf but I'm not really sure where to start or anything. What's the easiest way to give it a go without making any huge commitment?

Just get the golf club, great game mate. Can sit on your arse and do it then.

[Giggles]

It really is a brilliant pastime to spend the day. It's not something possible to play in Ireland unless you're minted so I've had to give it up when I moved back. But the odd day at the local par 3 is still fun, even though it can be a bit shit on your tod. If you can rope someone else into it then definitely do it.,

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.letchworthgolfclub.com

Hopefully one day I'll be able to hang out with Colm.

[Lewis]

Buy a 6 iron, 8 iron, wedge, and putter second hand (or a half set if you can't find separate ones cheap) and find a Par-3 close by and see if you like it first. Golf clubs are still fairly exclusive places so nobody will want you there if you aren't to some sort of standard, so try the par 3 first (holes normally from 90 to 150 yards) and a driving range and see how it goes after a while.

'You're more than welcome to use the facilities, so you are; but we recommend that new...'
'Oh! Oh! Ascendancy, is it?!'

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh and I'm going to call myself Pork from now on, I'll be 'Beef's' rival.

I'm fat and with beard too, it will be amazing.

[Giggles]

If I was anywhere near you Boydy I could fix you up, I've 4 sets in the parents garage and I'm only using 3 clubs from one of them.

[Ian]

I got a set of 7 or 8 clubs for about £40 and have a course near me where I can play for free. However, for the reasons Lewis said if I was to plan on playing more regularly I reckon I'd take a few lessons first.

Though to be honest the key thing for me early doors at the range was realising I was trying too hard to hit it hard. A firm half-swing on a drive is enough when you're getting started.

[Giggles]

I got a set of 7 or 8 clubs for about £40 and have a course near me where I can play for free. However, for the reasons Lewis said if I was to plan on playing more regularly I reckon I'd take a few lessons first.

Though to be honest the key thing for me early doors at the range was realising I was trying too hard to hit it hard. A firm half-swing on a drive is enough when you're getting started.

Definitely that. And also, people spend too much time smacking balls on the range and think the putting will take care of itself. As the lad that taught me always said, a 12 inch putt is one shot the same as a 200 yard drive is one shot. You can lose so many strokes on greens.

[Boydy]

I got a set of 7 or 8 clubs for about £40 and have a course near me where I can play for free.


How'd you manage that? The free course part.

[Giggles]

Is there even a council owned course near you Boydy? They're fine for beginners to play at but are a full size course once you get to grips with things, and they're not too bad around silly rules.
I used to be a member of Loughgall country park for £330 a year, which got me membership for the golf 6 days a week (also included membership for the fishing though I never used it).

[Ian]

How'd you manage that? The free course part.

Just a course owned by I presume, as Giggles mentions above, the council. Driving range you pay for the balls but other than that you just have to turn up and, if it's busy, wait for a slot.

[Boydy]

Is there even a council owned course near you Boydy? They're fine for beginners to play at but are a full size course once you get to grips with things, and they're not too bad around silly rules.
I used to be a member of Loughgall country park for £330 a year, which got me membership for the golf 6 days a week (also included membership for the fishing though I never used it).

I don't think there even are. I can't seem to find any from googling anyway.

[ItalAussie]

I used to play golf every now and then, but reached a point where it was clear that I wasn't going to improve beyond that without actually putting in serious practice, and I needed to be about 5-10% better to really enjoy myself playing the game. I ended up giving it away entirely.

[Boydy]

Just ordered these.

http://www.sportsdirect.com/dunlop-ddh-golf-set-876089?colcode=87608990

I figured they should be alright to get me started out and seemed a reasonable price.

Gonna have a go this weekend, hopefully.

[Giggles]

Couldn't go wrong at that price. Find somewhere handy to play?

[Boydy]

Yeah. There's a 9 hole course in Kilrea which isn't far from me. My dad's played on it a couple of times when he went with people from his work who actually play. He said it's not stuffy or fussy about dress code or anything and is pretty cheap.

[Giggles]

Think I played on that one. A group of us from work used to do a 9 hole every Sunday during the summer. Mainly went to Fintona but near sure we did that a couple of times.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My one single tip is don't try and hit it too hard.

Dress code wise if you have it in you to rock up in a polo shirt/some sort of top with a collar, I've never found a golf club that gives a damn. They are all cunts of course but as long as you follow basic etiquette it's hard to go too far wrong.

[Giggles]

Yeah a collar and a trousers. The likes of sports direct have grand trousers for buttons. Wouldn't even worry about the shoes at this stage as cheap onea will kill you and split in no time. If you end up liking it then invest in a good pair.

The best advice on actually playing that you could listen to is exactly what Jimmy said above. You're not 'hitting' the ball, you're just wanting to let the ball get in the way of your swing.

[Ian]

A firm half-swing is all you need.

[niko_cee]

Don't listen to them Boyd. You're going to be shit anyway, so at least take some joy from trying to hit the little bastard into the next county, at least off the tee.

For extra fun, invest in these: http://www.cafepress.com/+fq06dthatcherfinal_golf_balls,1018423784

[Giggles]

Speaking of golf Boydy, I passed Ballymena around half an hour ago. That's a very nice flower arrangement on the roundabout for the NI open.

[Boydy]

Don't listen to them Boyd. You're going to be shit anyway, so at least take some joy from trying to hit the little bastard into the next county, at least off the tee.

For extra fun, invest in these: http://www.cafepress.com/+fq06dthatcherfinal_golf_balls,1018423784
:D



Speaking of golf Boydy, I passed Ballymena around half an hour ago. That's a very nice flower arrangement on the roundabout for the NI open.

I've not seen that. Not even sure which roundabout you mean. The one off the road from Antrim?

[Giggles]

:D




I've not seen that. Not even sure which roundabout you mean. The one off the road from Antrim?

Yeah M2, A26 direction.

[Boydy]

Should I get a glove?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Double glove it and buy a hat too big for your head, become Phil Mickleson.

[Giggles]

Should I get a glove?

100% yes. You'll be playing in wet more often than not and it's vital.

[GS]

What are your top five roundabouts in Ireland, Giggles?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Glove is a big yes or you'll get blisters.

Glove, probably shoes (definitely if it's wet), collared shirt and some clubs. If you have that lot you can't really go wrong.

[Boydy]

Look at you, assuming I don't own a collared shirt.

What about trousers?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Look at you, assuming I don't own a collared shirt.

What about trousers?
http://14043-presscdn-0-31.pagely.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/url6.jpeg

Jon Daly it :nodd:

You'll be the most banterrific bantesaurus rex ever.

[Boydy]

No.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Look at you, assuming I don't own a collared shirt.

What about trousers?

I assume you own them but refuse to wear them because you're such a class warrior.

Not jeans or trackies.

[Giggles]

What are your top five roundabouts in Ireland, Giggles?

What's that in aid of you ratty little cunt?

[Giggles]

Look at you, assuming I don't own a collared shirt.

What about trousers?

Sports Direct. About a £5.99.

[Boydy]

:D

Besides suit trousers, I pretty much only own jeans.

EDIT: @Jim

[Jimmy Floyd]

I only wear chinos (in dull colours, before you mistake me for Jord) so it doubles up nicely.

[Boydy]

Sports Direct. About a £5.99.

Yeah. Probably get a glove from there too and some polos. Hate giving that cunt Mike Ashley my money but it's so much cheaper than anywhere else.

[Boydy]

I only wear chinos (in dull colours, before you mistake me for Jord) so it doubles up nicely.

I don't have anything against chinos (except the stupidly bright ones and red ones) but I don't wear them because I'd have them dirty in no time. Or dribble down them when having a piss.

At least jeans hide any dirt/stray piss.

[Giggles]

At least jeans hide any dirt/stray piss.

You'd think that...

[Giggles]

What are your top five roundabouts in Ireland, Giggles?

Well GS? Reason?

[Giggles]

What are your top five roundabouts in Ireland, Giggles?

Still nothing to add on the reason for this? You really ate such a slithering little belly rat.

[five time]

That's quite a nice turn of phrase. :D

[Giggles]

That's quite a nice turn of phrase. :D

I know a lad always uses it. It's a class one :D

[GS]

You seem upset.

[Giggles]

You seem upset.

Not much. I just like pointing out your sorry flaws.

[GS]

I thought it would give you an opportunity to do something other than moan constantly. Lesson learnt.

[Giggles]

I thought it would give you an opportunity to do something other than moan constantly. Lesson learnt.

Well what were you getting at then and how was it an opportunity for that? Might as well explain.

[GS]

I think you may be reading too much into this.

I suggest you move on.

[Giggles]

I think you may be reading too much into this.

I suggest you move on.

So no then. Hardly worth the effort was it? I'm sure you'd an idea at the time though.

[Boydy]

Are courses generally closed to visitors on a Saturday morning for members competitions? Is that a thing?

To I've tried so far have been. Can't get through to a third near me.

[Pepe]

Golf :sick:

[Boydy]

Yeah, alright.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Are courses generally closed to visitors on a Saturday morning for members competitions? Is that a thing?

To I've tried so far have been. Can't get through to a third near me.

Saturday morning and to a lesser extent, Sunday morning are by far the busiest times so it's likely at many courses yes.

Generally I can get tee times from midday onwards at most places if I ring them a couple of days ahead, and I'm in Surrey which I'm guessing has more golfers per square mile than norn iron.

[Boydy]

I'm absolutely terrible but it was good fun.

[Giggles]

I'm absolutely terrible but it was good fun.

That's the main thing. If you like it another couple of times then get a few lessons and take it from there.

[Boydy]

I'm off on Monday and I was considering going to play a round on my own but considering how bad I was, I think I'll just go to the driving range and practice.

Did make one excellent drive that went so high I lost track of the ball and have no idea where it went though. Didn't see it drop and couldn't find it.

[Ian]

I was always atrocious at keeping sight of the ball on the occasions I did get a properly good hit which is part of the reason I always had my concerns about playing on my own.

[niko_cee]

Playing golf on your own is the sort of thing that sounds good in practice, but in reality is a terrible idea. It's so fucking dull.

[Spoonsky]

Surely golf is one of those things, like dinner, where half the point is the social side of it.

[Giggles]

Surely golf is one of those things, like dinner, where half the point is the social side of it.

Dinner. What the fuck sort of idiotic thinking is that?
Do you not eat an evening meal if you're alone?

[Spoonsky]

Alright, I should have said eating out.

[Boydy]

Cunnilingus is hard to perform solo, yeah.

[Boydy]

Playing golf on your own is the sort of thing that sounds good in practice, but in reality is a terrible idea. It's so fucking dull.

I can see how it might be but I'll likely only be playing nine holes for quite a while yet. At least until I can guarantee hitting the ball with each swing.


Double glove it and buy a hat too big for your head, become Phil Mickleson.
This might not be a terrible idea. My right hand is a bit sore.

[Spoonsky]

Cunnilingus is hard to perform solo, yeah.

Not for a cunning linguist like me.

[Boydy]

I hit the green from the tee today!

It rolled back off but still.

[Boydy]

Played again today.

Some guy behind me played his tee shot when I was still on the fairway. Not just walking off the fairway but actually still playing that hole. And not even very far on. His ball pretty much went out over my head. Dickhead.

I've bogied a few holes now. That's the best I can manage. My tee off shots are terrible. My putting's not very good either. My irons are okay. I like it a lot though. Gonna have to join a club although it's probably a bit of a pointless time of year to join.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are only two reasons for hitting through the group in front, one is if you are a cunt, and the other is if they are being painfully slow/unaware and you want to give them the hurry up / ask to be let through.

[Giggles]

Played again today.

Some guy behind me played his tee shot when I was still on the fairway. Not just walking off the fairway but actually still playing that hole. And not even very far on. His ball pretty much went out over my head. Dickhead.

I've bogied a few holes now. That's the best I can manage. My tee off shots are terrible. My putting's not very good either. My irons are okay. I like it a lot though. Gonna have to join a club although it's probably a bit of a pointless time of year to join.

Hitting an iron off certain tees would probably help things if you're going way off course with woods, but probably better sticking at the latter.

[Boydy]

There are only two reasons for hitting through the group in front, one is if you are a cunt, and the other is if they are being painfully slow/unaware and you want to give them the hurry up / ask to be let through.

We weren't that slow and I'm very aware of people coming up behind us (I don't like feeling rushed) so pretty much always let them play through. We stopped at the next hole and let them play through and then they took fucking ages. So they weren't even that good.

Fair enough if they'd teed off when we were on the green or something. But I'd fucked up my tee shot and was only about 100 yards down the fairway.

[Boydy]

Hitting an iron off certain tees would probably help things if you're going way off course with woods, but probably better sticking at the latter.

Yeah, I do use irons for the shorter ones and they're more accurate. Fucking terrible with the woods though.

[Giggles]

Yeah, I do use irons for the shorter ones and they're more accurate. Fucking terrible with the woods though.

Do the driving range a few times before the next round and see can you get things working a bit. Best thing there though is to only get under 50 balls and take ages. You see some lads getting a bucket of 100 and smashing them all in 15 minutes.

[Boydy]

Almost managed a birdie today. Hit the green from the tee (and it actually stayed on this time unlike the last time). It was quite a long putt though and I never thought I'd make it so didn't bother taking the flag out. I hit the fucking flag and it didn't go in. Finished about three feet away. I then fucked that up for what would've been my first ever par and ended up with a bogey.

:moop:

[Boydy]

First ever par today!

The rest of the round was shite but still.

[Dquincy]

First ever par today!

The rest of the round was shite but still.
You must fucking shit, no offence.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We all shit, mate.

[Dquincy]

Hi friend, I'm not that shit. Played 9 holes the other day, finished 7 over for the round.

[Boydy]

I started playing two or three months ago.

Take your negativity elsewhere.

[Adamski]

Hi friend, I'm not that shit. Played 9 holes the other day, finished 7 over for the round.

That's pretty shit too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The whole point of golf is that you can play off any ability and it doesn't matter how 'shit' you are.

[Giggles]

The whole point of golf is that you can play off any ability and it doesn't matter how 'shit' you are.

In theory. In reality though you're really not wanted anywhere near a golf course if you're shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Depends how shit. If you can get it airborne on a regular basis you're alright.

[phonics]

The Broadwater 9 hole was amazeballs. All for one hole. 130 yards or so with a pond in front of the green. So satisfying if you catch it right.

[Dquincy]

Ok, I'm shit.

[Boydy]

Took today off as it's the first day in about three weeks that it hasn't rained. Tried a new course (just a couple of miles away from where I normally play). Well, fuck. The first hole has you teeing off over a lake. Sunk three balls into it before I gave up and trudged round the other side and dropped one.

Then I got lost on the really badly signposted third hole. It's basically got a right-angled fairway but no sign to indicate that. There was another green (with a flag in) just up ahead before the right turn so I played towards it. Turns out it's some old unused hole.

Wasn't sure where I was going next after that so I ended up playing onto some other old unused hole (again, with flag in - couldn't they take them down?) then eventually found my way to the correct fifth hole (completely missed the fourth) and carried on as normal. Must've lost about seven balls or so. Thankfully there was no one else around to see me.

[Boydy]

Oh, and I still can't drive for shit. Teeing off is the worst part of my (admittedly all bad) game.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Was there not a bird's eye view map on the card?

Where does the driving go wrong, right or left? I've had a huge fade for years which won't go away.

[Giggles]

Was there not a bird's eye view map on the card?

Where does the driving go wrong, right or left? I've had a huge fade for years which won't go away.

If the fault with driving is right or left then you're a level well above where I ever was. My main direction of fault was the vertical axis.

[Boydy]

No, annoyingly. Surely that's something all golf clubs should have? I did remember seeing a map on their website before but that was only after I'd got lost and found my way again.

Mostly in making decent contact. I never seem to get enough lift in it so it's flying out not much above head height and not making it very far. Any time I do manage to get it up into the air properly it seems to go right.

[Boydy]

If the fault with driving is right or left then you're a level well above where I ever was. My main direction of fault was the vertical axis.

Ha, this is exactly my problem.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Do you tee it up much higher than if you were using an iron? If not, do. Also tee it further forward in your stance, nearer your left foot than your right. Maybe even parallel to your left instep.

[Boydy]

Yeah, I already do both of those things. I think my swing is just terrible.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Have you had any lessons? Get a few with a decent pro and they'll spot a load of things straight away.

[Boydy]

Had a few last year when I'd just started. He mostly focused on my short game though. I also didn't like him that much. Might see about getting some more though, yeah.