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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #5501
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I hate it when people say “we all make mistakes” to excuse either their own or someone elses idiocy.
    I'm a twit

  2. #5502
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    The physio isn't the attractive, mid-20's something I had in my head either- fat, with a limp and can barely walk down the stairs. And I'm the one getting my knee seen to.

  3. #5503
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Google defines Parenting as ‘the act of raising a child’

    Lies.

    Sitting on a sofa, arm covered in vomit, with a sick child asleep on you. That’s fucking parenting.

  4. #5504
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    I had to cancel my bank card just over a month but couldn't change my address to get a new one sent as it wouldn't allow me to online, whilst doing this I updated my mobile number to my current one too which I didn't think would be an issue at the time.....sod it, I may as well update my login details too, I said. Then in typical me fashion I cleared my browser and completely forgot what I set them to. I couldn't get a password reminder sent to my phone as the number was different and I couldn't log in with my bank details as I had no card so I went in store to do so only to find out that not only was my licence out of date by 18 months but my passport had expired in September so they couldn't do it for me. I had to renew at least one however upon trying to do so I discovered that I needed a valid passport to renew licence and a valid licence to renew passport so I had to contact my sister to find my birth certificate which has taken nearly a month in itself.

    Now I'm trying to fill in a passport form and I'm stumped on my own parents details. The countersignature thing has to be a professional, right? I'm now left with the unenviable task of obtaining both a valid passport, licence and an actual bank card before January 27th as that's when I plan to go away. Anyone got any experience in this shit?

    There must be an easier way I can do this? I feel like I don't exist at the moment.

  5. #5505
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'd cancel the trip now.

  6. #5506
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Give it up.

  7. #5507
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    PM me your address Smith, might be able to help.

  8. #5508
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    That’s a pretty impressive level of disorganisation, Smiff.

  9. #5509
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    You can easily do that if you set up a passport appointment now and do it in your local office. I got mine turned around in 6 hours because I told them I had to leave the country.

  10. #5510
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Go see Chowchilla Charlie.

  11. #5511
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Just taken me 45 minutes to get to work

    EDIT: Taken just over double that to get to Belfast.



    .

  12. #5512
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    nicotine withdrawal is driving me fucking INSANE

  13. #5513
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Get an ecig.

  14. #5514
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Have a fag.

  15. #5515
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Become a fag.

  16. #5516
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Suck off a fag.

  17. #5517
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    That's about enough of that, children.

  18. #5518
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I gave up smoking easily. Just left all my money and cards at home for the week so I couldn’t buckle on lunch breaks. Other than after meals and when drinking I didn’t miss it after a couple of days.

  19. #5519
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I gave up smoking easily. Just left all my money and cards at home for the week so I couldn’t buckle on lunch breaks. Other than after meals and when drinking I didn’t miss it after a couple of days.
    You could have bummed a fag off a colleague or friend.

    I'm a twit

  20. #5520
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Get an ecig.
    nah i want to actually get rid of the nicotine addiction. no fags since the 1st, and no nicotine since tuesday, i THINK i'm over the worst of the withdrawal now.

  21. #5521
    I used to be funny.
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    Given what you look like, a vape rig might just complete the stereotype. Successfully dodged.

  22. #5522
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    He definitely looks like a vapist.

  23. #5523
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I do both.

  24. #5524
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    nah i want to actually get rid of the nicotine addiction. no fags since the 1st, and no nicotine since tuesday, i THINK i'm over the worst of the withdrawal now.
    Just don’t go out drinking for a while. That shit tests your resolve with your willpower at its absolute minimum.

    I went a month after quitting with not even a blip, then I went for a night out in Nottingham and smashed my way through 10 fags ( ). The next couple of days were tricky again then. Not given in since.

  25. #5525
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    Quite at New Year. Lasted till Saturday then had 20 at a night out.

    Made it till Thursday again, convinced myself I’ll only smoke when drinking, bought 4 beers, had 10 fags and then smoked Friday and today.

    Great fun

  26. #5526
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    what absolute psychopath decided that every product and service has to try to be your mate now? fucking train toilets telling me jokes and websites saying shit like "oopsie daisy lol" when they crash, and the horror of corporate pages engaging in bantz with every bellend that makes a zany tweet about the shape of a cookie or whatever. feels like i'n walking around a twee dystopia sound-tracked by some pricks with ukuleles going la la la fuck OFF. innocent smoothies have a lot to answer for.

  27. #5527
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    i know i make some variation of this same post every year or so but i have to vent

  28. #5528
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    what absolute psychopath decided that every product and service has to try to be your mate now? fucking train toilets telling me jokes and websites saying shit like "oopsie daisy lol" when they crash, and the horror of corporate pages engaging in bantz with every bellend that makes a zany tweet about the shape of a cookie or whatever. feels like i'n walking around a twee dystopia sound-tracked by some pricks with ukuleles going la la la fuck OFF. innocent smoothies have a lot to answer for.
    The train toilet gags are the worst. Something about your ex's jumpers isn't it? Need to bring back the chair for whoever sanctioned that.

    Has the ukulele whistling gone slightly out of fashion now? I feel like it peaked in about 2016, thankfully.

  29. #5529
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    At work today someone ate a 4-finger Kitkat without breaking the pieces apart, just bit right into the whole thing. It would obviously make no difference to the taste but it seemed unnatural and oddly disturbing.

  30. #5530
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    what absolute psychopath decided that every product and service has to try to be your mate now? fucking train toilets telling me jokes and websites saying shit like "oopsie daisy lol" when they crash, and the horror of corporate pages engaging in bantz with every bellend that makes a zany tweet about the shape of a cookie or whatever. feels like i'n walking around a twee dystopia sound-tracked by some pricks with ukuleles going la la la fuck OFF. innocent smoothies have a lot to answer for.
    he says typing like this like a try-hard cunt

  31. #5531
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    The four finger Kit Kat with a big bite across three of them has been a staple of the '31 photos to shock and infuriate you' Facebook posts for years now.

    It does seem like utter madness.

  32. #5532
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It's the obvious way to do it one handed.

  33. #5533
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    he says typing like this like a try-hard cunt
    prick

  34. #5534
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I'm with igor. Brands bantering with each other on Twitter is the fucking worst.

  35. #5535
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    As if 'banter' wasn't bad enough already when it was organic and locally sourced.

  36. #5536
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Nando’s embracing ‘Cheeky Nando’s’ is to blame.

    Paddy Power’s Twitter feed is the end game. People went to Uni to post that shite.

  37. #5537
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Years I've been tyring to understand how to do gradients in Illustrator. Absolutely years. I'm still no closer.

  38. #5538
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smiffy View Post
    I had to cancel my bank card just over a month but couldn't change my address to get a new one sent as it wouldn't allow me to online, whilst doing this I updated my mobile number to my current one too which I didn't think would be an issue at the time.....sod it, I may as well update my login details too, I said. Then in typical me fashion I cleared my browser and completely forgot what I set them to. I couldn't get a password reminder sent to my phone as the number was different and I couldn't log in with my bank details as I had no card so I went in store to do so only to find out that not only was my licence out of date by 18 months but my passport had expired in September so they couldn't do it for me. I had to renew at least one however upon trying to do so I discovered that I needed a valid passport to renew licence and a valid licence to renew passport so I had to contact my sister to find my birth certificate which has taken nearly a month in itself.

    Now I'm trying to fill in a passport form and I'm stumped on my own parents details. The countersignature thing has to be a professional, right? I'm now left with the unenviable task of obtaining both a valid passport, licence and an actual bank card before January 27th as that's when I plan to go away. Anyone got any experience in this shit?

    There must be an easier way I can do this? I feel like I don't exist at the moment.
    Passport and bank card both in my possession. Licence on the way then just the birth certificate which can wait.

    Never again will I allow this to happen. FML.

  39. #5539
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I've got the exact same burn on both hands from my grill a day apart.

  40. #5540
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    The Starbucks at work selling a packet of McCoys for 95p. Is that how these things cost these days?

  41. #5541
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    In Starbucks they do. It’s about a fiver for a panini.

  42. #5542
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    I haven't bought a chocolate bar for about 10 years and picking one up today from a petrol station I was surprised to note I had almost no change from a Ł1.

  43. #5543
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You can get 2 KitKat Chunkies for a quid if you have a good local shop.

  44. #5544
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    You can get both in supermarkets for pennies.

  45. #5545
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    My Uni charges like Ł1.50 for a Kit Kat (mars, snickers, whatever), it's robbery.

  46. #5546
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    To be fair, it didn't actually cost me anything, it just used up my lunch budget alongside my sandwich leaving me with 5p spare. Figured I'd be able to get a piece of fruit too, but nope.

  47. #5547
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    I think I might know the biggest wanker in the world. Someone I know has got married, but instead of the traditional name system, or even the Byron, what he's done is portmanteau their names, translate the result into French where it becomes double barrelled, and take that as their surname.

  48. #5548
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    You should unknow them for that.

  49. #5549
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Absolutely mental.

  50. #5550
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Do they even have French family or anything so that the lunacy is at least guided by something?

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