lol
lol
They won't (maybe they won't have the choice) but Australia really ought to stick us back in under lights and finish this today/tonight.
Three of the fuckers caught and bowled?
We may have lolled at Shaun Marsh pre series, but who in this England side is willing to bat for seven hours, or even try to? One dimensional fuckheads.
If Root is getting out like that, we are truly done. He’s head isn’t there, may as well pack up and go home.
James Vince nicking off chasing one in the first over of the day, if anything ever summed a player up. Selectors and Bayliss have to go.
In fairness, Lyon and Starc's first were miracle catches.Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
EDIT: Ball's doing a lot here. This is really tough going.
I know they never do it now for sports science reasons, but surely they would have been tempted to stick us back in here.
Oh, this could get interesting now.
Yeah, apart from them having too many already.
And they've still got Marsh and the other lower order dipshits to push the total past 400 anyway.
Shock horror we start pitching it up and wickets follow.
Short bowling is the most overrated thing in cricket, just ahead of Test opening batsmen who 'force the pace'. Short balls NEVER hit the stumps (unless you're playing in Trinidad circa 1998) and you take wickets by aiming at the stumps. The Australians were guilty of it during that Woakes/Overton partnership as well, having blown through our top order by pitching it up.
I know we always moan about it, but god bless sports science, and all who sail in her.
We should have put you in.
Also, the ball was moving insanely yesterday evening. It was a good advert for day-night tests. I imagine we have enough from here, but anything over 320 is probably unchaseable.
Waking up to not terrible news, nice feeling.
Will obviously get rolled before I go to work at 8 but still
Cook is looking dodgy, so I expect him to be out for less than 20.
I hate being right.
Might not be bad thing to get a right hander in with Lyon being the biggest threat. Shame it’s James Vince but you know.
This is the first cricket match I've followed for a long, long time. After initially being terrible England do deserve a bit of credit for giving themselves a chance. Can't see us getting too close but great match anyway.
Jimmy Anderson still smashing it too, what a guy.
2 down as posted this, bye bye England.
I'm taking blame as I watched when we were 45-0 up to Stoneman's wicket, so TV turned off now fellas.
And so it begins.
These two have got to have a dig at Lyon. Malan and Moeen coming in behind them is two free wickets otherwise (and why Bairstow isn't shoved up to five even just for this scenario I have NO idea).
Vince has given his wicket away a bit there. Going to have to rely on a debut 150* from Overton.
Surely not.
Yeah, so about that follow-on.
As I said, god bless sports science.
Now, we're still a long way off here, and in all likelihood will lose, but were the situation reversed I'd be shitting it right now.
Not sure if Woakes has been promoted or nightwatchman. Think it could work out well tomorrow though.
178 with Root, Woakes, Moeen, Bairstow, Overton, Broad and Anderson at our disposal.
It only takes one superb partnership.
Almost certainly nightwatchman, but I agree.
Is the pitch doing much?
Second new ball is the obvious danger, but that won't come until midway through the first session and they aren't going to be able to bowl much in the deadly dark again I wouldn't have thought (it'll be done by then one way or the other). It's the hope that kills you, although it was nice to have one positive wake-up in the series. Two would be sensational mate.
Joe Root’s taking it home. I didn’t bother going to bed after planning on watching the first hour. Absolutely dead, god bless half day flexi.
Jonathan Liew in the Indy
And as the lights came on, the dismissal of James Vince, slashing at a wide half-volley, offered the first hint of the swing available, as well as a very strong hint that Vince has catfood for brains.
Not far from right either. Way too wafty out there
At least he was being positive though, eh?
Moeen and Bairstow coming in after an hour tomorrow with the target in sight and Australia a bit frustrated could be ideal.
Ugh this is real dilemma for the alarm. I know if I get up at 4:30 it'll be no doubt 190/8, but I don't want to miss a potential brilliant day of Test cricket/famous England win.
My mate is so genuinely convinced England are going to do it tomorrow he's offered to bet me a pint of beer on it.
This will be over by 5am. FACT.
I'm going to set the alarm and have the radio on, so there's always the option of sleeping through if it goes tits up. I should probably have learned from the 98/99, 02/03, 06/07 and 13/14 tours that this is not a good use of valuable energy but if I can't live for England losing cricket why bother at all.
It's like an Indian tour start time, those are brutal. As many coffees as runs in the first hour normally.
I don't think statsguru would cover it, but it feels like we are egregiously bad in the first 3 overs of the day.
In the end, we had one really bad session. That's all it takes, mind.
The ball won't swing that much again in this series.
I'd love to say there was anything remotely surprising about that collapse. Do we ever start a day well?
No.
5-0 now absolutely nailed on, so the question is more how badly they fuck up the selection.
Every team I give backing to are the same. It’s the hope that kills.
English cunts. Bring back #KP.
Might as well bring back Harold Larwood while we're at it.
It was particularly insulting this morning, two nick offs in the first 15 balls or something and all the previous day's work completely wasted.
I'm not sure. We could still collapse in a fourth innings chase easily.
I actually reckon you win in Perth, as we collapse on a friendly batting wicket, but then we win the next two.
The ability to bat time is severely lacking. I blame India.
It's not just that, it's that they don't seem to believe that it matters, hence the selection of Vince and other clangers.
Run rate is not in any way a predictor of who wins Test matches. Amount of time batted is.
We haven't won in Perth since 1978, when you had a shadow team because of Kerry Packer. What about James Vince and Chris Woakes makes you think this is the year?
You leave Bloakesy out of this!
I'm trying to work out what our team should be for the next Test. Unchanged seems a ridiculous idea, but then the reserve batsman is Gary Ballance, and our reserve bowlers are Jake Ball and two kids.
I guess you could draft Foakes in to keep and release Bairstow up the order. These issues will be solved when Broad goes down with a stress fracture of the spine and is out for 9 months.
Perth used to be a nasty pitch that would help our really fast bowlers. Now it's a road.
If both teams bat to the pitch, it should be a nailed on draw. That's exactly the sort of situation for us to lose a bunch of wickets to stupidity in the fourth innings and lose.
I don't think it's anything to do with the calibre of your bowling, so much as none of the bowlers are going to get anything out of it, but we have a tendency to occasionally collapse on flat pitches for no good reason.
Yeah, drop a bowler and pick another shit batsman was going to be my suggestion.
Any chance Barry Gallance could trundle down a few Trotties to while away the overs between batting collapses?
Lose a bunch of wickets to stupidity you say? I don't think there is a pitch in the world where England could bat out a 5 day draw. Not even a Nagpur (is that the one?) style deathbowl. The aggressive brand just doesn't allow it, and if the pitch truly is that flat, the scoreboard pressure does for us anyway.
That reminds me of when James Vince came on to bowl his military mediums in whatever home series he was in (Pakistan?) and Michael Holding lost his shit live on air, calling him 'pathetic'.
I think I'd possibly pick Tom Curran for this one just because I know, as a Surrey fan, that he has the right mentality for this. He hasn't got PACE though so they probably won't. Instead we're looking at Mark Wood being parachuted in, replacing, er, dunno.
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