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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #11451
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I asked him if he was worried about getting followed, as surely everyone going there from the West must be getting looked at currently. He said no, because he's flying via Turkey, as if this kind of devious scheme will definitely fool either the Russian authorities looking for traitors/spies or the British authorities looking for sanctions busters.

  2. #11452
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    That's outrageous. Your colleague is an idiot.

  3. #11453
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Whatever happened to the guy sent to the mine in Uzbekistan? Did he end up in a barrel?

  4. #11454
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    He's in Ethiopia first, then Uzbekistan and finally Bangladesh in late February. Great life.

    My pitch at the upcoming round of individual meetings is going to be listen, you people are far too reliant on business from dodgy characters in dangerous shitholes and war zones. How about you increase investment in a nice safe market like western Europe where everything is transparent and the customers pay on time.

    They'll never do it, because they're too impatient and greedy.

  5. #11455
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Whoever has the UK market, are they not absolutely smug as fuck?

    Off to Kampala? Gutted, mate, I’ve gotta go to all the way to Shrewsbury next week.
    I'm a twit

  6. #11456
    I used to be funny.
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    Is there more money in servicing a drug lord's tractor? I assume there must be.

  7. #11457
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The UK market is not really cultivated, it just happens, and three of us share the commission.

    I think our theoretical biggest countries by turnover are:
    Egypt (shut for the last year as the government doesn't allow dollars out of the country)
    Saudi Arabia
    Algeria (same as Egypt)
    Venezuela (lol)
    Russia (lol)

    As such we still chug towards our goals using the rest of the world, but it's a bit of a struggle and incredibly stressful for those involved.

    Being bought by South Africans hasn't really helped, because although they theoretically have capital to invest, they are so backward in the way they think about business. For example, I as a sales guy still do not have the ability to do or see any kind of analysis on the product I'm selling, who buys what etc. Too risky as I might print it off and leak it to a competitor, so I just have to guess, based on memory and anecdote, what is being sold where.

  8. #11458
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Is there more money in servicing a drug lord's tractor? I assume there must be.
    Poppy seed fields don't grow on trees, you know

  9. #11459
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    When I worked for DuPont I always wondered why we did all these deals with USAID that never seemed to bring in any revenue. I later learnt USAID is partly a front to place CIA budget and operations but it still didn't make sense why DuPont would give a shit. Now reading Jim's stuff I realise it was basically protection money for when we sent people to do exactly what Jim's colleague did and make sure we got paid.

  10. #11460
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gray Fox View Post
    Sounds like I've missed an interesting morning at work. I'm told the place lost access to all water(drinking and toilet) in the early hours. This obviously knocked all of the toilets out of action.
    Night staff weren't really told of the issue until near 4am. As the morning shift came in they were all gathered to be told of the issue, however bottled water would be provided if requested and if they needed to use a toilet, they should clock out and go to a nearby shop/house and then come back.

    After staff argued, they did concede that due to no working toilets on site that staff were not under obligation to stay. I have no idea how many of them left yet, but I do know just after 7 they got the water working again and were frantically trying to call people to tell them to come back to work.
    The people that left have today got to work to be told because they left it will go down as an unauthorised absence.

    I really don't think they've thought this through.

  11. #11461

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    Are you in a union? Seems like a union would down these cunts.

  12. #11462
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Are we fuck. We have our own in-house reps, of which I am one, but we have zero power to do anything really. We've formally requested union on site before but as expected upper management said no.

    I have a union membership myself, which has come in useful in previous situations, but that's really to a single person. I don't think you'll ever get the union recognised on site proper.

  13. #11463
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    As an employee presumably on a very low wage I would definitely enjoy clocking out and going to knock on someone's door in the local area to ask to have a shit.

    Without being too detailed, is this an outfit that you'd expect to behave like this by definition, or is it just that one or two individuals in management are bastards?

  14. #11464
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Completely on brand for them.

    There was a BBC show called "Life and Death in the Warehouse" and if you want an accurate depiction of the place, watch that.

  15. #11465
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I've read/watched a lot about shitty warehouse practices in the UK, interest piqued by the fact that our own warehouse staff are basically treated like cattle, but in comparison to the big boys we are guardian angels. The ugly face of consumerism.

  16. #11466
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    I'm told when this place opened, it was on the understanding that it was kept to as little automation as possible to keep a big employer in the area and to look great for the figures. However you can see at times the utter disdain they have at having to have people in the place. Those people might even have opinions!

    A prime example is that there's currently pay rise talks happening. If we do nothing, as of April we will be on the new living wage which is £11.44p/h. We have asked for over £12p/h and were pretty much laughed out of the room.

  17. #11467
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    What are the other employment options in the area? Any call centres etc or industry? In the current employment climate I'm genuinely amazed that these places are so unwilling to pay anything other than the absolute bare minimum. The times of plenty should be over for employers, unless you're in a region / locale with absolutely no alternatives.

  18. #11468
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    That is a big dick move right there Manc, not sure I'd endorse it but if your company claims they care about staff in any way shape or form I'll be very curious to see what they do.
    Six weeks off at this point fully paid. Mugs.

  19. #11469
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gray Fox View Post
    Are we fuck. We have our own in-house reps, of which I am one, but we have zero power to do anything really. We've formally requested union on site before but as expected upper management said no.

    I have a union membership myself, which has come in useful in previous situations, but that's really to a single person. I don't think you'll ever get the union recognised on site proper.
    Are companies allowed to refuse a union?

  20. #11470
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Don't they have some thing where X percent of the workforce have to vote to have the union, and they just hire in loads of votes to scupper that kind of thing whenever anyone tries it? I'm sure it was on that Amazon thing with the internet prankster with a stupid name.

  21. #11471
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Are companies allowed to refuse a union?
    Companies can do what they like if they use the right tactics.

  22. #11472
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Meanwhile on the railway my company took a big loss on a load of tablets they bought years ago, the idea being they could save printing out loads of sheets that train drivers need and issue them electronically. The stumbling block came when the driver's union asked who was paying for the electricity to charge these devices

  23. #11473
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Do trains not have plug sockets these days?

  24. #11474
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    The drivers union sound like right fannies.

  25. #11475
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    The train drivers union have secured their lads nearly £60k a year for 35 hours a week with that attitude.

  26. #11476
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  27. #11477
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    The train drivers union have secured their lads nearly £60k a year for 35 hours a week with that attitude.
    Train drivers have that salary thanks to the leverage of the fact that they drive trains, it isn't some unique ballsy attitude. If Gray Fox's warehouse colleagues took the same attitude they (probably) would all be fired. Which, incidentally, is one of the reason why wages are criminally low. There is no leverage in a consumer society. You can just buy it cheaper somewhere else, where the sweatshop conditions are worse.

  28. #11478
    I used to be funny.
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    Now I'm wondering how much freight pays? Do some of the commuter rail drivers get enticed into that work regularly?

  29. #11479
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    You are of course right, Jim, but I could write a 5000 word essay on what else they have secured by being intransigent, often nothing to do with driving trains.

    Freight pays more but the industry had a shakeup a while back and a lot of drivers left. At one point a lot of companies let drivers choose to defer overtime payments in favour of receiving a 'happy cheque' lump sum at the end of the financial year. A lot of passenger drivers jumped ship to freight at one point but a lot came back and others wanted to come back and can't (undesirable record etc). Freight pays/paid a lot but the work is mainly weekend/night time so you can end up being a bit of ghost socially or family wise which some people can't handle.

  30. #11480
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Train drivers have that salary thanks to the leverage of the fact that they drive trains, it isn't some unique ballsy attitude. If Gray Fox's warehouse colleagues took the same attitude they (probably) would all be fired. Which, incidentally, is one of the reason why wages are criminally low. There is no leverage in a consumer society. You can just buy it cheaper somewhere else, where the sweatshop conditions are worse.
    You can make the same point (the opposite way) about teachers. Because they're all in it "for the good of the kids", they'll always cave. Hence they end up working 700 hours a week for buttons when they could hold the entire country to ransom if they weren't absolute fannies

  31. #11481
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    A fair point. Widespread WFH has been a hammer blow to teachers I think on a number of fronts, but one of them is that many families will have an adult at home (or with the option to be at home) during a hypothetical teachers' strike.

  32. #11482
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  33. #11483
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    What are the other employment options in the area? Any call centres etc or industry? In the current employment climate I'm genuinely amazed that these places are so unwilling to pay anything other than the absolute bare minimum. The times of plenty should be over for employers, unless you're in a region / locale with absolutely no alternatives.
    I've not really looked too hard to be honest. I've lived most of my life before this job on better paid, but agency work at various production lines. Which has the obvious downsides. When the kids arrived, an easy 40 hour a week job with a permanent contract was much the better option. The Mrs is however now in the working world and as such the time to move on is close.
    I do know there is direct competition who all pay better than our place at several sites within a stones throw though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Are companies allowed to refuse a union?
    The union in a case where numbers are unclear on site, can ask to be officially recognised anyway, but no employer will willingly let them set up shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Don't they have some thing where X percent of the workforce have to vote to have the union, and they just hire in loads of votes to scupper that kind of thing whenever anyone tries it? I'm sure it was on that Amazon thing with the internet prankster with a stupid name.
    It is usually 50% + 1 person, however we have loads of agency guys in, so the number changes daily and would be impossible to pin down, even if they wanted to, which they wouldn't.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Companies can do what they like if they use the right tactics.
    Giggles knows the score.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Train drivers have that salary thanks to the leverage of the fact that they drive trains, it isn't some unique ballsy attitude. If Gray Fox's warehouse colleagues took the same attitude they (probably) would all be fired. Which, incidentally, is one of the reason why wages are criminally low. There is no leverage in a consumer society. You can just buy it cheaper somewhere else, where the sweatshop conditions are worse.
    Yeah I even know the clause in the policy that would have anyone fired for suggesting a strike or any kind of action. Anyone trying to drum it up would be seen as "inciting a riot" and be dismissed.

  34. #11484
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Homeschooling is where it's at.

  35. #11485
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Yep, because everyone homeschooled isn't absolutely weird as fuck as an adult

  36. #11486
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    My mental Dad and his mental hippy ex girlfriend are homeschooling their kid, she homeschooled her previous 2 and they are completely fucked. No doubt the cycle will repeat itself, you can tell the kid is completely starved of attention from other children because he's constantly stuck with adults all day.

  37. #11487
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    More ludicrous travel news. Our Russian has been put under pressure by the South Africans to make a trip to Russia, even though sanctions mean we are not allowed to sell there, and also the FCO (he is a British citizen) advises against all travel to Russia.

    The outcome: he's going for two weeks to try and push business via middle men and other routes. Udachi. You can't get travel insurance or anything. I don't understand how this is even happening.
    Currently in his office where I can hear them talking about how the Russian is going to get his hands on enough roubles to get through the trip, as major cards don't work in Russia.

    The reason they're talking about it in his office is they don't want to do so on email 'because it's about Russia' i.e. they don't want a written record of sanctions-busting. This is one of the most moronic things I've ever heard.

  38. #11488
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Yes sending him with a paper thin cover story and no electronic paper trail explaining his reasons for travelling won't arouse suspicion. He'll be getting his knackers electrocuted every hour on the hour come Easter Sunday.

  39. #11489
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    My mental Dad and his mental hippy ex girlfriend are homeschooling their kid, she homeschooled her previous 2 and they are completely fucked. No doubt the cycle will repeat itself, you can tell the kid is completely starved of attention from other children because he's constantly stuck with adults all day.
    I remember seeing some Yank documentary about homeschooled kids. I wish I could remember what it's called, because it's hilarious. The best bit was the parents trying to get around the social isolation by arranging play-dates with other homeschooled kids and it was just a collection of various wingnuts, from Doomsday Preppers to Hyper-religious throwbacks and Far-right loonies trying desperately to get along despite their only unifying characteristic being that they're all contrarian arseholes that are scared of society.

  40. #11490
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    You can make the same point (the opposite way) about teachers. Because they're all in it "for the good of the kids", they'll always cave. Hence they end up working 700 hours a week for buttons when they could hold the entire country to ransom if they weren't absolute fannies
    Teachers are hardly on peanuts. My missus is on £40k+ at 24, I’ll take that lol

  41. #11491
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Should be 10x that.

  42. #11492
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Teacher pay is shit for the hours.

  43. #11493
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Teachers are hardly on peanuts. My missus is on £40k+ at 24, I’ll take that lol
    Scotland is the best paying area of the UK for teacher salaries AFAIK. NI is the worst, the starting salary here is about 24k.

  44. #11494
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'd need a six figure salary to even consider it as a job.

  45. #11495
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    NEW DATA: 5,800 teachers received emergency licenses during the pandemic.

    Their students showed the same����exact����growth����in reading and math as their traditionally trained counterparts

    Why do we still have university teacher prep programs exactly?
    Lol.

    https://twitter.com/MrDanielBuck/sta...33399923437784

  46. #11496
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Seems like a job primed for automating with ChatGPT, dirty hours my arsehole.

  47. #11497
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Someone I have many meetings with and meet in person a few times a year and always enjoy speaking to, was drinking out of a mug with a Palestine flag on today, the posing little gimp.
    I'm a twit

  48. #11498
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Been stressing quite relentlessly about my upcoming apprenticeship final assessment and just has this lovely motivational message from TTH’s favourite sidekick:

    You'll do it you know you will. You are the most unarsed laziest work man I've ever met yet your work is always done and on top form it's bizarre never known someone to be excellent at their job working 1 hour per day
    Perfect summary.
    I'm a twit

  49. #11499
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Alright flower he's got a family at home.

  50. #11500
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    News of pay rise today. 8% from April. Had 15% last year due to Covid and cost of living. Not even been here 2 years and wage has increased 23% lol

    What a place.

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