User Tag List

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 51 to 99 of 99

Thread: Shit you can't do

  1. #51
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    11,321
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    It probably is. The main issue is that most beginners want to go too slow due to fear of falling, but the slower you go the harder it is to balance the bike. A downhill forces you to go faster and therefore you have a higher chance of staying upright. You might also crash into a pole and never want to try again, leaving more time for your uncle to molest minors.

  2. #52
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    40,776
    Mentioned
    105 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Ice skating is hardly all that common a thing.

    Not being able to ride a bike though. What the fuck did you do as a child?
    I was riding one of these:



    I got one when I was 8 second hand. Mine is probably about 30 years old, has been through a shit load but still runs.

  3. #53
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Kildare
    Posts
    30,459
    Mentioned
    138 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I'd say it's over three decades since I was on a bike. I know they say you never forget but I wouldn't like to chance it now.

  4. #54
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    18,152
    Mentioned
    118 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I'd say it's over three decades since I was on a bike. I know they say you never forget but I wouldn't like to chance it now.
    As someone who had a decade or so between riding them, you can still do it but riding down the pavement is like a cat who's whiskers have been cut off.

  5. #55
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Laaaaaandan
    Posts
    12,153
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I've cycled once in ten years and it was to cycle 30 odd miles. Riding slow is impossible without falling over.

  6. #56
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    4,137
    Mentioned
    39 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    How was everyone else taught to ride a bike? I remember my uncle through marriage (now doing time for selling heroin to minors) putting me on a bike on top of a massive hill and just letting me go. Thinking back, it doesn't seem to be the most effective technique.
    My uncle 'taught' my bro how to swim by just throwing him in the deep end when he was five and laughing before a guard dived in. Essentially uncles of old were total cunts.

  7. #57
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Cycling is awesome. Another reason Pepe is a true alpha.

  8. #58
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    739
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    When I last visited Amsterdam, angeldust lent me his girlfriend's bicycle, which had drop handlebars. I had only used flat handlebars before, so I spent a lot of time the first day almost wiping out whenever I tried to turn.

    Best way to teach someone to cycle is to get the seat low enough that their feet fully touch the ground, have them push off with their feet to propel the bike forward, and then have them lift up their feet once they go fast enough.

  9. #59
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    5,909
    Mentioned
    44 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I''ve been unable to ejaculate or maintain much of an erection since saturday. Pilly willy prevented me from having any sex with the girl i've been seeing on her last day in the UK before she left to go travelling until Christmas, which is a bit of a shitter. I can ride a bike though.

  10. #60
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    6,571
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Get some t-rex porn watched.

  11. #61
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    5,909
    Mentioned
    44 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)


    ?

  12. #62
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    6,571
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Animal.

  13. #63
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,592
    Mentioned
    78 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Mahow View Post
    I was riding one of these:



    I got one when I was 8 second hand. Mine is probably about 30 years old, has been through a shit load but still runs.
    You lazy fucker.

  14. #64
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,231
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Do you still ride it?

  15. #65
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    40,776
    Mentioned
    105 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    Do you still ride it?
    Last time I did was last year. I'm too fat for it though, I had to give it a push start. No chance of any wheelies

    Got it started for my little brother last weekend so he could ride it round his garden though.

    I miss riding it through fields to the local river and riding it upstream though. It's a fucking brilliant piece of kit.

  16. #66
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,231
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I think we need to a picture of you riding it, for the good of the board.

  17. #67
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    11,321
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I also had one of those as a kid but moved to something larger in like two years. Riding that as an adult is pervert behaviour.

  18. #68
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    40,776
    Mentioned
    105 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    I also had one of those as a kid but moved to something larger in like two years. Riding that as an adult is pervert behaviour.
    I fell in love with it tbh, it was perfect for my Dad's garden too. When going through fields I usually traded with one of my neighbours kids who both had 125 cc quads because they loved mine more than they did theirs.

    It was and still is a fucking brilliant thing to piss about on. So easy to wheelie and hold it too.

  19. #69
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    6,571
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I now see Mahow as the inbred killer from True Detective.

  20. #70
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    7,745
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I can't swin breaststroke, but I can swim front crawl, drive a car, drive a motorbike and ride a bike

  21. #71
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,592
    Mentioned
    78 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by leedsrevolution View Post
    I was given a motorbike by my dad when I was like 8/9 years old (only a little scooter thing) so never could be bothered learning how to ride a push bike.
    You should have learnt to ride a bike long before that.

  22. #72
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

  23. #73
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    2,646
    Mentioned
    11 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I can't blow my nose.

    Genuinely amazed at grown adults who can't swim. Nothing better than swimming half cut on holiday.

  24. #74
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    2,794
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    .....

  25. #75
    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    2,471
    Mentioned
    18 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I just thought of one that isn't necessarily negative. I can't fall asleep while actively doing something, like watching a movie. I don't get how you can just pass out while focusing on something.

  26. #76
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    2,646
    Mentioned
    11 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Can you fall asleep whilst trying to fall asleep?

  27. #77
    Senior Member hfswjyr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    942
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    What the heck is front crawl?
    @Johnarne

    Only one I can't do from the usuals listed so far is ride a motorcycle. Thanks for making me feel like a relatively successful human being guys.

  28. #78
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Touch my toes. Or even my shins.

  29. #79
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,231
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by hfswjyr View Post
    What the heck is front crawl?
    @Johnarne
    It's the one everyone does in freestyle events.


  30. #80
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I bet Australians have a really shit name for it like army fronty water forward racing.

  31. #81
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,231
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Google actually lists one of its names as 'Australian Crawl' (and he's from NZ by the way).

  32. #82
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Salt Lake City
    Posts
    3,672
    Mentioned
    20 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    I''ve been unable to ejaculate or maintain much of an erection since saturday. Pilly willy prevented me from having any sex with the girl i've been seeing on her last day in the UK before she left to go travelling until Christmas, which is a bit of a shitter. I can ride a bike though.
    So what happened on Saturday?

  33. #83
    Senior Member Sam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    670
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Self control count?

  34. #84
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    6,571
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Touch my toes. Or even my shins.
    With you on this one. Statues have more flexibility.

  35. #85
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    5,909
    Mentioned
    44 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Spoonsky View Post
    So what happened on Saturday?
    Played Cricket Captain all day then went out with my erstwhile bird for a average night out and got too fucked up to do anything sexual from when we got back at 5am until she left my house at midnight. She left the country on Monday morning : ' (

  36. #86
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    5,909
    Mentioned
    44 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Can anyone do that thing where you put your arms out and clench your fists except for the thumb on your left hand and the little finger on your right hand, then rapidly switch between that and only extending the thumb on your right hand and little finger on your left hand? I'm wicked sick at it but pretty much nobody else I know can do it. World's shittest party trick.

  37. #87
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    40,776
    Mentioned
    105 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Played Cricket Captain all day then went out with my erstwhile bird for a average night out and got too fucked up to do anything sexual from when we got back at 5am until she left my house at midnight. She left the country on Monday morning : ' (
    Alpha as fuck.

  38. #88
    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    2,471
    Mentioned
    18 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Adamski View Post
    Can you fall asleep whilst trying to fall asleep?
    Immediately.

  39. #89
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    4,594
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I sometimes have the hardest time falling asleep in bed. Oddly enough, I pass out rather easily in my recliner in the late evening.

    Maybe my bed is just uncomfortable.

  40. #90
    Senior Member John's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Glasgow
    Posts
    8,833
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Can anyone do that thing where you put your arms out and clench your fists except for the thumb on your left hand and the little finger on your right hand, then rapidly switch between that and only extending the thumb on your right hand and little finger on your left hand? I'm wicked sick at it but pretty much nobody else I know can do it. World's shittest party trick.
    I spent about three of my teenage years bewildering people by making them think I'd paralysed their ring finger, without ever explaining that it was just a shared tendon with the middle finger that stopped it moving. The internet has ruined so many great little things like that.

  41. #91
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,231
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Pilly Willy is a new one on me, very good.

  42. #92
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    3,865
    Mentioned
    49 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Mutant. @John

    If it's what I'm thinking. Boss has something similar. Can't bend his thumb without the ring finger going too.

  43. #93
    Senior Member hfswjyr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    942
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I bet Australians have a really shit name for it like army fronty water forward racing.
    We (aus and nz) call it freestyle like the rest of the world (or so I thought)?

    It's not called the Olympic 100m front crawl is it?

  44. #94
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,231
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    The event is called freestyle but the stroke itself is not, it's just everyone uses front crawl because it's the fastest so the two have become somewhat interchangeable.

  45. #95
    Senior Member John's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Glasgow
    Posts
    8,833
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Mutant. @John

    If it's what I'm thinking. Boss has something similar. Can't bend his thumb without the ring finger going too.
    What?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •