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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #5201
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Smoking is so yesterday, get yourself a vapouriser.

  2. #5202
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Can you vape hash?

  3. #5203
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Vaping is for pussyholes. If your going to smoke. Do it properly and kill yourself quicker.

  4. #5204
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I fuck up my internal organs with copious amounts of fatty foods like a real man.

  5. #5205
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I fuck up my internal organs with copious amounts of fatty foods like a real man.
    These words are gospel.

    A packet of mini kievs for tea

  6. #5206
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Can you vape hash?
    Not in the normal 'big clouds of smoke oooooh aren't I a wanker' sort of way but you can get ones that will. They essentially bake it rather than burning it which is not only better for your lungs but also far more efficient at releasing THC.

  7. #5207
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Those massive cloud vapers are cuntshovels.

  8. #5208
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Cracked my phone screen today

    £30 excess with bank insurance but they'll wipe it. Will go and check some local shops to see if they'll do it quick for cheapish.

  9. #5209
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Can it really be that fabulous if you are still browsing/posting on here?
    A man needs something to browse when having a poo/toddler break.

  10. #5210
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Just spotted some scrotes pulling up and checking out my van in through the windows. The first evening in months I have it empty too, I'd say if I hadn't it'd be empty by morning.

  11. #5211
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Tryna have a wank and my neighbour's grandkid is messing around on their grand piano. Putting me off. Might poison the little cunt.

  12. #5212
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Tryna have a wank and my neighbour's grandkid is messing around on their grand piano. Putting me off. Might poison the little cunt.
    What specific pose are you looking from them if the piano playing isn't working?

  13. #5213
    I used to be funny.
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    It's a right shame when they've got ugly grandkids.

  14. #5214
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I see what you've done there.

  15. #5215
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Birds, amirite lads.

    Seriously though, actual birds. I filled up the feeder outside over weekend and the wankers seem to have just spread most of it across the veranda. Jokes on you dickheads, once winter arrives you can eat it off the fucking floor.

  16. #5216
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    The Slick Rick concert I had my entire weekend planned around has been postponed... till March 2018. Good to plan ahead I guess?

  17. #5217
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Online news is so, so, so shitty.

    How can any self respecting design team look at this and think, 'Nailed it'


  18. #5218
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Because having ads/heavy links like that is literally the only way these things stay barely afloat.

  19. #5219
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    My eyesight seems to have gotten a lot worse and my new prescription is really fucking me up. I've gone from -2.75 in one eye and -3 in the other to -3.5 in both.

    Hopefully my eyes 'settle' into them soon.

  20. #5220
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    My eyesight seems to have gotten a lot worse and my new prescription is really fucking me up. I've gone from -2.75 in one eye and -3 in the other to -3.5 in both.

    Hopefully my eyes 'settle' into them soon.
    Get surgery. You’re minted, right? ICL for life! Second best thing I’ve ever done, behind inventing a sport.
    I'm a twit

  21. #5221
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Get surgery. You’re minted, right? ICL for life! Second best thing I’ve ever done, behind inventing a sport.
    I've always been scared about the 'What if they fuck it up?'.

    I'd rather have shit eyes than blind eyes.

    I guess you could say the same for any medical procedure though.

  22. #5222
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I've always been scared about the 'What if they fuck it up?'.

    I'd rather have shit eyes than blind eyes.

    I guess you could say the same for any medical procedure though.
    There’s a lot less risk for implanted contact lenses (ICL), primarily because it’s completely reversible.
    I'm a twit

  23. #5223
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    £3k per eye plus £165 for each annual visit? £295 for a consultation too? Fucking hell.

  24. #5224
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It will be that wool your step-mum pulled over them.

  25. #5225
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I've always been scared about the 'What if they fuck it up?'.

    I'd rather have shit eyes than blind eyes.

    I guess you could say the same for any medical procedure though.
    I think the eyes are the least of your worries.

  26. #5226
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    How can you say that Magic? Cam girls are already low resolution enough.

  27. #5227
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I'm sure this forum wasn't always this mean.

  28. #5228
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    How can you say that Magic? Cam girls are already low resolution enough.
    They've moved into 720p at a minimum now

  29. #5229
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    £7.20? Seems reasonable.

  30. #5230
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I reckon you may have just hit upon a potential Yev enraging hipster-esque menu formatting trick there.

    Brioche bun burger served in a breadbin - 1450p

  31. #5231
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    A restaurant near my office does £7½ instead of £7.50.

  32. #5232
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    A restaurant near my office does £7½ instead of £7.50.
    You should try pay 3.50.

  33. #5233
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    There'll be somewhere that's gone pre-decimal.

  34. #5234
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Burn it to the ground with the hipster owners locked inside.

  35. #5235
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Your steak on a mousepad in the shape of a bum and flowerpot of chips will cost you one groat and a half a bushel of barley.

  36. #5236
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    You should try pay 3.50.
    The waiter would turn into the Loch Ness Monster.

  37. #5237
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    The food is probably served like this:


  38. #5238
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Just came.

  39. #5239
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Pretty basic error not having the fizz in the tea cup and the tea in the flute.

  40. #5240
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    I'm not sure I'd fancy food served in something that's been carried between the arse and the knee even if it wasn't such disgraceful hipsterism.

  41. #5241
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I was in a bagel place today and they had no chairs just cushions you could sit cross legged on.

  42. #5242
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Found out that a lad from my year at school has died from cancer. Not sure what type. I've seen the occasional cryptic message about him being unwell for the last year or so on Facebook, and now today there's been a flood of RIPs. It's weird seeing someone who I knew as a kid die of an illness like that. I've known a few that have died from accidents, but this is the first "natural" death. I suppose it's going to happen more and more as I age.

  43. #5243
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Found out that a lad from my year at school has died from cancer. Not sure what type. I've seen the occasional cryptic message about him being unwell for the last year or so on Facebook, and now today there's been a flood of RIPs. It's weird seeing someone who I knew as a kid die of an illness like that. I've known a few that have died from accidents, but this is the first "natural" death. I suppose it's going to happen more and more as I age.
    It's a hideous feeling. Reckon being old will be really morbid because you'll have folk dying left right and centre.

  44. #5244
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Old people tend to be really relaxed about themselves and eachother dying for exactly that reason.

    Someone my gran had known for sixty years died in the summer and when she found out her only response was 'aw shite', after which she didn't hesitate to put the volume back up on Home and Away.

  45. #5245
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I haven't had a friend die 'naturally'. I haven't had many people I know die let alone friends, a car crash, and a couple of suicides but nothing else. However the one that really fucked me up was an actual friend who was always a bit of a mess but had got his shit together only to contract some kind of fever while out on a boat in Costa Rica and die a couple of days later due to falling into a diabetic coma and his body giving in. I must have stared at the wall for a good hour straight just wondering what the point was.

  46. #5246
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    There was a girl in Primary school (I think I was in year 3 and she was in nursery or reception, possibly even year 1) who died of Leukaemia.

    That was pretty fucking mental and scary.

  47. #5247
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Did you get the shoebox back?

  48. #5248
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  49. #5249
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Oyf.

  50. #5250
    I used to be funny.
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    I went to school with three convicted paedophiles.

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