Rate Your 2015

[Foe]

Every year I do this as I think it's good to reflect on what's happened.

Last Year found here: http://www.thedugout.tv/community/sh...01#post4296301

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In somewhat of a Foe tradition I share with you great people the highs and lows of my year and reflect upon what has happened over the previous calendar year.

Highs:

1. I bought my first flat, with a lot of help from my parents, but it's a great feeling knowing I have a base.
2. I'm pretty well paid for what I do, I live comfortably.
3. I've definitely gotten stronger, managing to bench press 100kg which has always been my goal is great and learning to squat.
4. I had a lot of interesting, high profile work to do this last year which I think has helped me gain somewhat of a reputation in the company in small circles - a good reputation and relationships are key in this industry. I felt like I was really contributing to the team and felt respected.
5. I get on really well with my parents. We don't speak that often, but I enjoy speaking to them. I spent nearly two weeks with my dad in America and really enjoyed his company.

Lows:

1. Got a banging bald spot and receding hairline on the go, which has utterly ruined my already pretty slim confidence. Might well shave the thing in early 2015 and embrace it.
2. Im becoming far more lazy, work is really starting to impact on my desire to exercise.
3. My job last year was really, really tough. I was dealing with really quite sensitive issues (of other peoples doing both internally and externally) and
directly reporting findings to some really senior people in the region, most of which wasn't a positive message. In a few years time they won't remember why they know my name, but at the moment it's difficult being associated with an operation seen to be a nuisance.
4. Still no girlfriend, but I'm actually quite content by myself. In hindsight, the first relationship I had and the spectacular fallout from the resulting breakup have really given me a "fuck it, I don't need someone" attitude in relationship terms. At some point that'll need to change though as I'm 25 and have no intentions of growing old alone.
5. I'm not quite convinced what the end goal is. I'm keen on the idea of moving to America but I'm not sure whether that's because I'll have a fresh start in a new, hotter place and I'll just realise when I get there that it's no different and I've left behind the friends and family I had.

It's good to reflect.

2012 here:

http://thedugout.tv/community/showth...68#post3806968

2013 here:

http://www.thedugout.net/community/s...ight=Rate+year

So 2015:

+ves
1. I got a promotion, and with it a pay increase which sees me really quite well paid for my age.
2. I enjoy having my flat (not the mortgage) and knowing that I control the destiny of my living arrangements.
3. I'm definitely a lot stronger than I was previously. I've been training with guys who take the gym pretty seriously and as such have pushed me to embrace new exercise and find my limits.
4. I feel more competent at work. People seem to respect my input and don't see me as a shite engineer - which is definitely a positive.
5. The new car I've picked up is actually very pleasant.
6. I've really enjoyed watching a lot of american football, tv series and films. It's a fairly shite hobby, but it's what I enjoy doing and I do it often.
7. I've got euro 2016 tickets to a couple of decent games which means I have the option of an enjoyable summer.


-ves
1. My metabolism is terrible, and as such I'm now carrying more fat than I have in a long time.
2. The hairline fell apart and I've had to embrace a shaved head look. It's not ideal.
3. It's been a rough time family wise. One of my cats died quite suddenly and my nan has deteriorated rapidly with alzheimers. I'll hopefully get to see her over christmas but she's in a home now and definitely losing grip of reality so it might be the last time I see her when she knows who I am or indeed the last time I ever see her.
4. 2015 has been a year of unease at work due to the low oil price. Redundancy was a concern earlier in the year and the lack of improvement has meant it's a known concern rolling into 2016. Given the way things are going there's a real risk there's some significant changes coming and with that it's feasible I won't have a job come June. Right now I'd probably rate my odds at 50/50. I'm in a better position than some for sure, but I do fear things could go drastically wrong. If nothing else it means the office will be a morbid environment in Q1/Q2.
5. Still no girlfriend, and it's been a year of poor progression. On the plus side, I'm quite happy by myself but it's concerning that many of my friends are settling down whilst I'm stagnating.
6. I live in a boring and cold place and do think that there's a much better standard of living to be had somewhere warmer. I've no interest upping sticks to the middle east, but I'd relish the opportunity to move to the states. If things go badly in the new year I'm not going to rule out a move across the pond.

So it's been a bit of a mixed bag. How's your year been?

[phonics]

Sacked on 31/12/14
Perma Battle with my Health Insurer leading to thousands of pounds of debt I never should have owed.
Couldn't pay rent for 3 months. An extra couple grand in fines for that.
Messed up something with a girl that was going well.
Still unemployed

1/10

Daft little year. Silly life. Fuck off

[Boydy]

Absolutely shite.

[Shindig]

About to sign a contract with my current employers to keep me on til 2017.
Financially sound.
Still alone.

7/10.

Perez just scored. 7.5/10.

[Giggles]

Got new job, don't really like it but I was never going to be staying in the old one.
Sold my car and really missing having a bit of fun driving.
We moved in together at the start of the year and it's going great.
Got engaged on my summer holidays.
Health has deteoriated in a big way and is getting worse by the day.
Gave up smoking again and put on 2 stone due to that and not being able to exercise any more with the 5 day working week.

All in all it'd be a 4/10 but bumps up to 7/10 due to the engagement.

.

[Bernanke]

First half:

Did my BSc thesis, got a B.
Lived a decent student life.

6/10

Second half:

Got sepsis.

0/10.

[Kikó]

Jesus. is that treatable?

[Manc]

Pitiful job, relationship In tatters, rapidly dwindling social circle. Life isn't enjoyable. 2/10

[Magic]

Probably not intentional but Foe beginning his family's tough time story with some shit about a cat instead of his nan's alzheimers made me lol.

Chin(s) up mate.

[Ian]

Negatives: Wobbly finances, still living in Hamilton, still perma-single.

Positives: Still enjoying the job I started in May, social life has much improved, earning more money than I ever have and in a position to progress at work if I want to as my manager (and his boss) both appear to think I'm quite good.

And the negatives were all things that have been the case for at least a year before that so on the whole I'm prepared to give it a solid 6/10.

[Foe]

Probably not intentional but Foe beginning his family's tough time story with some shit about a cat instead of his nan's alzheimers made me lol.

Chin(s) up mate.

Dead < not dead.

[Bernanke]

Jesus. is that treatable?

Had flu-like symptoms for about a week at the end of August before collapsing at a health centre. Spent 10 days in the hospital with as much IV antibiotics as possible, and had three hip surgeries (that's where it had "taken root" or whatever). They removed 2.5 smaller rotator muscles that were completely dead and after that I took some antibiotics at home for 2 weeks more, then it was gone. I had dropped from 68 to 61 kilos, and had to take strong painkillers for 3-4 weeks, but it was mostly just lying on the couch playing videogames after that.

At this point I have a 20 cm scar on my left hip and some weird feelings when straining it in certain ways, but recovery has been surprisingly swift.

[Lewis]

Tell him how you got it.

[Bernanke]

Nah, I don't wanna make an arse of myself.

[Lee]

Positives

Life in general is pretty good. There was a rocky period in our relationship for the first time but I'll write a bit more about that in the shit section. Things are back to being very good again now, anyway.

We got a reasonable amount of travel in. Iceland in January was fantastic and I'm itching to go again. Didn't manage to see the Northern Lights but we'll have another crack in a few weeks time when we go to Norway. Croatia was probably the best summer holiday we've had. It's a beautiful place and we fell in love with the town of Cavtat, a little way south of Dubrovnik. Which itself if a brilliant place. Barcelona in August was lovely too, although it was bookended by the two worst flights I've ever experienced. Wonderful city; we'll be back. I think the short winter break, long summer holiday, short late summer break will become the norm now. Tromso, Corfu and Rome are the destinations for 2016.

This came much later in the year but in the last eight weeks I've lost close to two stone and I feel fantastic for it. I have a little way to go but I'm proud of what I've managed and remain very motivated to achieve my end goal.

Work has been pretty good. I got a payrise and a more senior role back in April and have taken well to it. It has been a very successful year for me personally and for the bits of the hospital I run. It's being recognised and I'm enjoying work. Probably time to move on though.

And on a more trivial note, the football has been fantastic. I've always enjoyed going, even when it was shit, but to see such an exciting and (hopefully) successful team regularly makes an already enjoyable hobby all the more fun. At the other end of the scale I've very much enjoyed becoming acquainted with Hinckley's new fan-owned club.

Negatives:

Just the one. My relationship problems were well documented on here and this time three months ago I expected I'd be single by now. I finally found the bottle to speak about how I felt at the end of September. It was a strange thing that forced me to do it; I was at the Leicester-Villa game and we came back from 0-2 in the second half to win the game. And yet I didn't feel bothered. I didn't celebrate the goals and I don't remember anything of the journey home. Obviously something had just cracked. So I confronted Lauren and it destroyed her. It remains the worst thing I've ever seen; worse than seeing my grandad die even.

As it was happening I realised there wasn't the sense of relief I was expecting. I just felt bereft. Not because I thought I had finished with somebody I've spent most of my adult life with but because I realised I was doing the wrong thing. We talked late into the night and didn't go our separate ways. I went to the doctor that week and he told me I was suffering from depression. It was then I felt the sense of relief. Bizarrely, it was the most wonderful feeling. I'm okay now and thankfully there isn't any lasting damage to the relationship. She has been brilliant. But I never want to hurt anybody like that ever again.

Overall, a really good year. Most are. 9/10.

[Magic]

Lol. @Bernanke

[SvN]

What exactly did you say @Lee?

[Lee]

What exactly did you say @Lee?

I told her I thought we were done. Actually, I was putting my shoes on to leave the house and stay at my mum and dad's place when she told me she didn't think it was right and we had to talk. It was a pretty close run thing and I think had I walked out I'd be single now. I'm fucking glad I didn't.

[phonics]

Can you positive people fuck off at least until the New Year? I was enjoying other peoples misery for a minute there.

[hfswjyr]

Moved to the UK. It's alright.

[simon]

Been a big and eventful year for me in lots of ways.

+ves

- Firstly, I've managed to shift over 3 stone of weight. In all of these threads over the years, I've always gone on about finally getting it done but never had it in me to follow through and do it. I'm absolutely ecstatic now that I'm almost at my target weight and my confidence has improved massively as a result.

- I finally got myself abroad and lived in a different country. Malta is a really cool place and I'm very glad that I did it. If anything, I think it was the catalyst for me actually making important changes in my life - changes I probably would not have made had I stayed at home. Berlin and Amsterdam are extremely nice places as well.

- I've got myself onto a degree. Like the first positive, I always used to go on about getting into coaching eventually but I never actually did anything about it. This year, I've signed onto a Sports Coaching and Development degree and am now actively getting valuable experience and qualifications in pretty much the only field that I'm properly passionate about.

- This is more of a general one and I'll get into specifics in the negatives, but I've learned from my mistakes. I've made a lot over the past year (and previous) but it all finally came to a head around August time where I had a massive crisis of everything. I remember being pretty hysterical a couple of times but I've come out of it a more confident, more assured and driven person.

-ves

- I'm finished with poker. I had massive ambitions but unfortunately couldn't handle the mental side of the game. It really wasn't healthy for me as I became way too impulsive, had shocking mood swings and lost any sense of direction and motivation. I don't regret doing it as I got to do a lot of cool things and live a life that many people never get the opportunity to but I think my decision to jack it in was ultimately the best thing for me.

- I've still not really had any luck with women. In Malta I hit Tinder pretty hard but with confidence at an all time low and my appearance also, I never managed to get anything going. I ended spending too much time in strip clubs and also fucked a hooker in Amsterdam - something I never would've seen myself doing a few years ago. I got home in June and began seeing a lass for a couple of months on a casual basis. Looking back at it now, I really fucking liked her but didn't have it in me to assert that fact as I was okay with what we were doing. But when she called an end to it, it hit me harder than anything I've ever had to deal with before. It coming around August when everything else was falling to bits didn't help, like. I'm still not 'over' her now. We still speak and I would give anything to go back and try and change things.

Funnily enough, out of everyone to speak to me about this I think Luca helped me out the most. He sent me a message after it happened basically saying to go away for a few months, sort out every aspect of my life that I wasn't happy with and then she'd come crawling back. That hasn't happened (though I've not sorted out every aspect as yet) but what he said fucking motivated me. Either way, without the thing me and this girl had, I don't think I'd have lost all the weight and bettered myself.

More recently I've been on a couple of dates, been stood up once () and pulled a couple of students on nights out. I'm more ready for a relationship than I've ever been, so I hope it happens for me in 2016.

- I'm still not good at managing money, although it's better right now than it was earlier in the year. I remember around April, I fired two €110 bullets in a live poker tournament on a random Friday night. I had plenty of chips come about 1AM but preceded to steam them all off after inexplicably fuming about losing a standard pot. Because I was so pissed off I ended up going to a strip club on my own and spewed off another €300-400. If anything that should give the best indicator as to my state of mind for a lot of the year. Nowadays I have far less money but I am being more frugal with what I'm spending it on. There's still an awful lot of room for improvement though.

----

I've rambled there, but I love doing this every once in a while.

All in all, I'd give the year a 9/10. I'll never forget the experiences I've gained and even though an awful lot of them were negative, I genuinely think I've changed as a person and for the better. So how can I look back and not be happy?

[Boydy]

Can you positive people fuck off at least until the New Year? I was enjoying other peoples misery for a minute there.

Agreed.

We need a happy and a miserable thread.

[Magic]

No thanks, separately this would be unbearable.

[Reg]

A career in that field would be brilliant, @simon. Any specific goals yet?

[leedsrevolution]

Pros:

- Bought a house
- Things going amazing with the better half
- Got a new job which is very good money for someone my age

Negatives:

- Dislike the job
- My fish died
- Had 2 panic attacks and had issues with overall mental health
- Still drinking far too much

Solid year all round 7/10. No doubt next year will be awful.

[mugbull]

I got home in June and began seeing a lass for a couple of months on a casual basis. Looking back at it now, I really fucking liked her but didn't have it in me to assert that fact as I was okay with what we were doing. But when she called an end to it, it hit me harder than anything I've ever had to deal with before. It coming around August when everything else was falling to bits didn't help, like. I'm still not 'over' her now. We still speak and I would give anything to go back and try and change things.

This exact thing happened to me over the summer, with the exact same consequences on myself and the exact same regrets. It's life eh

[simon]

A career in that field would be brilliant, @simon. Any specific goals yet?

After finishing the degree, do a PGCE and look to get into teaching.

I want to do all of my FA coaching badges (already signed up for the first level in February) but I'm not going to be able to just walk out of uni and start coaching at a professional football club full time. So, the plan is to aim to get a job as a PE teacher or something similar after my degree, earn a decent enough wage doing that and continue to get qualified and gain more experience alongside. Then when the time comes, move into coaching.

[Reg]

Sounds good, man. Best of luck.

[The Merse]

Well, it was a mixed bag of unforeseen key moments. Colour coded. Obviously.

January - started the new year in my own home for the first time with the girl I'd been with 3 and a half years and made sacrifices to move to, seemed like life had really come together.

February - Failed my driving test. A key moment, as I was spending £500 and 4-5 hours a day travelling to work via public transport, twice what I'd be doing by car. Due to the expense of everything, I would need to wait another couple of months at least to re-take.

March - Things get weird in the house... I'm clearly exhausted all the time due to the long days and skint with it. Spend much of the month on edge as a result. Go on a new regime and lose around 8kg.


April -On the verge of breaking up with the girl I'd bought a house with after 3 and a half years of us building towards a long term future and having moved 150 miles in two phases to do so (not to mention passing up promotions to do so several times). Whole world came apart at the seems, bit of a manic spell, well documented on the old board... Simultaneously get the job I'd dreamed of for some time in Bristol, a very unexpected promotion as it meant moving up 5 bands in 12 months and seemingly the thing that would fix us. Moved out for a couple of weeks, move back in and immediately get dumped. Mates rally around well and continue to do so throughout the year. Lose another 5kg.

May - Still in the flat with her, but again - well documented... Found out about cheating... Lots of arguments over the flat, to sell or not, to be bought out etc... End the month moving into a new place in the area I wanted to live, close to work, surrounded by bars, restaurants, real independent atmosphere...

Summer - Festivals, fun, my 30th birthday with a good turn out over a couple of days. Get laid a couple of times, feeling good about life

Autumn - RWC is great, get my first tattoo, shit load of gigs and getting on really well with housemates. New boss at work seems positive.

Winter - Constant clashes with new boss, thinking of moving on. ITIL course sponsored by work, lots of new upcoming opportunities in my area of the business.

As an overall sentiment, I'm probably happier than I was, more secure financially, got a good plan together for various aspects of my career and life, and am generally more 'myself' than in the last 6 of the previous 7 years spent across two relationships. I'm back spending time with mates I largely ignored during the last couple in particular, and feel really positive, if a bit lonely - not that easy to get used to being alone when you'd been single for about 2 months in the past 7 years.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Positives
Every single positive relates to cricket and it's been an unbelievably good year for that. My own form wasn't actually that wonderful, but the team I captain won the league and grabbed the only promotion spot, winning the last 5 games in a row to overhaul the season long leaders. To the footballers amongst you it may sound like a trifling matter to be something that actually defines your year, but with cricket I think it's different as it takes all bloody day, you form incredibly close bonds with people and every victory feels amazing when you are the leader and you have battled 7 hours for it.

On the same note I also got to see my club's first team win the league for the first time in our 117 year history, and got to watch one of my teenage proteges from a couple of years ago score a brilliant hundred in a very high standard of game, which was both a proud day and just great to watch. At the end of season celebrations I had 60 people singing my name in a room, and whilst it's just funny and boozy at the time, later on I reflected that a lot of people probably never have that.

Personally, well, all my friends are through cricket and I see them a fair bit in the winter too, so that's fine. I went on two quality weekends away playing golf with them, one in the UK and one abroad. I probably spend less time alone than I have done for years, which was a problem for me at one stage.

Oh, and my dog. Dogs really are the tits. Saving grace.

Negatives
I wouldn't say everything else is a negative, because it isn't, but cricket is such a massive part of my life that it just accentuates how shit everything else can be. For that reason, and it being a summer game when the weather is much better and brighter, I struggle a bit with seasonal downs (I'm not going to give it a medical name because I haven't been diagnosed and having known people who suffer from serious mental health difficulties, I wouldn't at all want to equate myself with them, because they need society's help and I don't even slightly). This year it's been particularly bad and between about the end of October and now I've been struggling a bit.

The job has its upsides, those being the fact that I get free Tesco credit on top of my salary (makes a huge difference in expensive months like December) and also the fact that it's decent 8 to 5 hours and the work is quite easy. The downsides are that the humdrum nature of the work, and the frankly bizarre environment in which it takes place, means I don't motivate myself properly and since about August I've probably not been performing as well as I should be. That's my sense anyway, I'll see how the year end evaluation goes.

Sometimes it feels like I'm making excuses to blame my state of mind on the Koreans, but often I just run it by friends or people I know to see what they think and they all think it's fucking mental and I should get out immediately. The Koreans are (mostly) not unpleasant people on an individual basis - the same as everyone else, let's say - but their culture is stifling, repressive and aims specifically, I think, to drum all individuality and joy out of people. I'm pretty sure that the work environment, a mixture of deathly silence, soft threat and just weirdness, has done my mental health no favours whatsoever. I had a go at another job (on lower pay!) the other week and was one of 4 interviewed from 70 applicants, but didn't get it. That suggests I'm not far off and after collecting my bonus in February I'll be looking again.

And I still live at home. I'm gradually saving but unless I just want to wank half my salary down a landlord's throat and move out for the sake of it, it just doesn't make economic sense. My parents are OK with this I think, but they also have the typical baby boomer thing of not quite understanding why it's not as easy for me in 2015 as it was for them in the early 80s. It also doesn't help that my two younger siblings have gone, one because he's in the army and the other because she decided to do just what I describe above and wank away her salary in rent just to get out. Up to her, good luck to her.

I need to lose weight (although I've lost a bit oddly in the late October onwards period of doom that I mention) and I feel like I need to fulfil myself a bit more outside the sporting arena, so I've started reading more books and writing a fair bit in my spare time, just stuff to keep the boredom wolves from the door. Maybe it'll work, who knows.

Overall I'll give it a 7, although had the year finished in September it would have been a 9.

[Kikó]

It's been a pretty good year so far.

Work- started a new job at the same company on a better day rate instead of leaving and joining Rbs. I've learnt a lot in a short space of time and managed to travel to Jacksonville, Berlin and Hong Kong.

Personal- I went loads of places with the missus and asked her to marry me in august which she said yes to. That's full steam ahead for next July. Very happy there.

Travel- managed to get to a number of new places this year mentioned above as well as Vienna, Bratislava and Stuttgart. It's been the first time since uni that I've traveled as much.

Negatives- the main things are on the missus side. Her grandpa died and her father was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully it's a treatable one so should be out with local chemotherapy.

The other thing is the uncertainty of where to live. I think by next November we will be out of London but no guarantee.

So far a solid 8.

[Lee]

Positives
Every single positive relates to cricket and it's been an unbelievably good year for that. My own form wasn't actually that wonderful, but the team I captain won the league and grabbed the only promotion spot, winning the last 5 games in a row to overhaul the season long leaders. To the footballers amongst you it may sound like a trifling matter to be something that actually defines your year, but with cricket I think it's different as it takes all bloody day, you form incredibly close bonds with people and every victory feels amazing when you are the leader and you have battled 7 hours for it.

On the same note I also got to see my club's first team win the league for the first time in our 117 year history, and got to watch one of my teenage proteges from a couple of years ago score a brilliant hundred in a very high standard of game, which was both a proud day and just great to watch. At the end of season celebrations I had 60 people singing my name in a room, and whilst it's just funny and boozy at the time, later on I reflected that a lot of people probably never have that.

Personally, well, all my friends are through cricket and I see them a fair bit in the winter too, so that's fine. I went on two quality weekends away playing golf with them, one in the UK and one abroad. I probably spend less time alone than I have done for years, which was a problem for me at one stage.

Oh, and my dog. Dogs really are the tits. Saving grace.

Negatives
I wouldn't say everything else is a negative, because it isn't, but cricket is such a massive part of my life that it just accentuates how shit everything else can be. For that reason, and it being a summer game when the weather is much better and brighter, I struggle a bit with seasonal downs (I'm not going to give it a medical name because I haven't been diagnosed and having known people who suffer from serious mental health difficulties, I wouldn't at all want to equate myself with them, because they need society's help and I don't even slightly). This year it's been particularly bad and between about the end of October and now I've been struggling a bit.

The job has its upsides, those being the fact that I get free Tesco credit on top of my salary (makes a huge difference in expensive months like December) and also the fact that it's decent 8 to 5 hours and the work is quite easy. The downsides are that the humdrum nature of the work, and the frankly bizarre environment in which it takes place, means I don't motivate myself properly and since about August I've probably not been performing as well as I should be. That's my sense anyway, I'll see how the year end evaluation goes.

Sometimes it feels like I'm making excuses to blame my state of mind on the Koreans, but often I just run it by friends or people I know to see what they think and they all think it's fucking mental and I should get out immediately. The Koreans are (mostly) not unpleasant people on an individual basis - the same as everyone else, let's say - but their culture is stifling, repressive and aims specifically, I think, to drum all individuality and joy out of people. I'm pretty sure that the work environment, a mixture of deathly silence, soft threat and just weirdness, has done my mental health no favours whatsoever. I had a go at another job (on lower pay!) the other week and was one of 4 interviewed from 70 applicants, but didn't get it. That suggests I'm not far off and after collecting my bonus in February I'll be looking again.

And I still live at home. I'm gradually saving but unless I just want to wank half my salary down a landlord's throat and move out for the sake of it, it just doesn't make economic sense. My parents are OK with this I think, but they also have the typical baby boomer thing of not quite understanding why it's not as easy for me in 2015 as it was for them in the early 80s. It also doesn't help that my two younger siblings have gone, one because he's in the army and the other because she decided to do just what I describe above and wank away her salary in rent just to get out. Up to her, good luck to her.

I need to lose weight (although I've lost a bit oddly in the late October onwards period of doom that I mention) and I feel like I need to fulfil myself a bit more outside the sporting arena, so I've started reading more books and writing a fair bit in my spare time, just stuff to keep the boredom wolves from the door. Maybe it'll work, who knows.

Overall I'll give it a 7, although had the year finished in September it would have been a 9.

Enjoyed reading that. When I was feeling depressed the doctor advised me to keep what he called a mood diary. I just kept a normal diary for a bit and seeing the negativity on the page when reading through was an eye opener. Well worth doing. I'd like to start writing for fun again but work doesn't allow me that sort of time. It's one of the reasons I'm ready to leave Emergency stuff behind. Other disciplines are as challenging in different ways, but for a manager they're challenging more or less between 9 and 5 which is not the case through winter in ED. It's exciting, invigorating work, full of risky decision making, but I'm tired now.

[Lewis]

Was turning fifty a positive or negative, Floyd?

[Lewis]

I started a 'Mood Diary', but it soon became a mental argument with myself, so I gave up on it.

[Waffdon]

The latter of this year has been pretty fucking teckle. Could do with losing some fatness in my face but my smile is still great.

[-james-]

I've probably had my best year personally, but most of the people around me have had shitters, so hard to call really.

Betting full-time has been good. Putting a good bit aside and generally have the freedom to do whatever I want. I think I'm pretty bad at being a subordinate, so being able to do things exactly how I want has gone a long way to making me a happier person.

Closing in on four years with girlfriend and it's all pretty good. She really needs a new job though. Could do much better than her current one which is shit and rules her emotions far too often. She lacks the motivation to seek something better so its quite frustrating.

Brother is a disaster and narrowly avoided a custodial sentence. That, another grandparent dying and Greece falling apart around them has made it a shit year for my parents for about the fourth running. My dad's had a particularly bad one but I get the impression a corner's being turned. Really hoping next year is the one where things stabilise, I'm not sure how much bad stuff there is left to happen.

I think I'm finally getting bored of Glasgow. There's nothing really drawing me anywhere else, and the in-laws are local so it's a tough sell, but hopefully inroads will be made next year. Just need to find her a job in Central Europe basically.

[Toby]

The beauty of my entry last year is that it'll probably apply to every year for the rest of my life.



Until I don't manage to have a good holiday, that is. Then I'll probably just end it.

[Magic]

@The Merse you missed changing the ITIL course bit to red.

[niko_cee]

Was going quite well until the wife (just) realised she'd booked our christmas flights the wrong way round.

[Cord]

Pros

I've been less miserable than normal this year. Not a cheery fucker by any means, but I've spent most of the year in a sort of flat nothingness of mood. Which is probably an improvement over the usual constant depressive shit.

I'd probably put that down to being reasonably busy, as I'm going to the gym a lot after work, so I don't really have much downtime and as a corollary I'm now in half decent shape for the first time in a long while. Work continues to go alright. I'm bored out of my mind and hardly trying any more, but that's still more than enough to do it acceptably as it's such a simple job. I've also now been there long enough to be looked on as having some seniority and experience, which is a first for me. There's a small chance I might get a chance at covering my bosses' maternity leave, which would see me being paid what I'd consider a genuinely fairly decent wage for the first time.

I grew a beard. It's ginger and more than a bit trampy, but I never expected to be able to grow one, so it's probably been the highlight of the year.

Cons

My life is still shit by most measures and I seem incapable of getting any enjoyment out of it.

The beard is ginger.

[Ian]

I've asked you this before, Cord, but I forget: Is it still the uni job you're at or somewhere different now?

[Cord]

I've asked you this before, Cord, but I forget: Is it still the uni job you're at or somewhere different now?

Same one. About two and half years I've been there now.

[Ian]

It at least sounds like you're not in the position I'm sure you described before where you could do nothing and not have anybody notice.

[igor_balis]

Mixed.

Negatives: dad having a stroke, being stuck at my mum's house until August, no romantic success until September, not having a particularly healthy lifestyle, holiday to Riga being rubbish, Edinburgh flatmate being shit, always being a bit skint

Positives: moving to Edinburgh, improved romantic success towards the end of the year, decent social life, holiday to Budapest not being rubbish, Tonetta accepting my facebook friend request, finding loads of weird youtube videos

[Lee]

What was shit about Riga? It's on my places to visit list.

[igor_balis]

What was shit about Riga? It's on my places to visit list.

It is lovely, but not much going on. Probably excellent for a romantic weekend, or a couple of nights as part of a longer trip around various places, but me and my mates were there for about five days and we were bored out of our fucking minds. We're not exactly 'Zante, mate' LADS either.

[Pavel]

Terrible, I've even written off the cultural experiences that were good, movies, songs etc.

2015 has been a year of learning what I need to remove from my life to gain access to the momentum to go forwards and do what I want next.

I'm still trying to re-establish my independence following on from that last proper relationship I had that I ended in 2013, she who hollowed me out, and left something behind that even Voldemort wouldn't touch.

Despite 2014 being completely mental, there were loads of positive experiences; this year is a complete 'darkest before the dawn' year from start to finish. At least it fucking better be. If I can get a bit of coin saved up, move house and cut ties completely with my previous social circle then I'll most likely feel amazing as my mind won't be sponging up the drama from being surrounded by such negative cunts/terrible examples of human beings.

[The Merse]

@The Merse you missed changing the ITIL course bit to red.

As lol as it is to learn the 'methodology' when you've been IM/PM'ing for a year and a half and BR'ing for the last 6, it's three days off proper work and helps makes me more externally transferrable innit?

I did forget about going to 3 cities I'd always wanted to and also complex tearing my medial ligament. But fuck it, details - who gives a shite.

[Sam]

+ Finally get a decent wage at work that meant I could leave my girlfriend parents house and actually get some freedom, potentially relationship saving.
+ Had a great holiday to Ibiza, one of the best.
+ Girlfriend and I are better then we have ever been, thought it was game over in the summer time but changes were made and all the problems we had seemed to vanish.
- Work is boring as fuck, accountancy is generally awful, I just end up surfing the net because of it's boring ease and total lack of anything remotely challenging.
- Realization that I'll most likely spend my life in Cheltenham, slightly gutting, I'd have loved to try London or another big city.
- Social group has got rather smaller with friends settling down to have families and such, this time last year we would get a solid 10-12 out, this Saturday we struggled to get 5.
- Not satisfied with life, have a desire to go travelling, probably will never happen.
- Training started taking the back burner, got way too into games again, fun.

6/10 I guess, average year.

[Spammer]

Highs:
- Moved up north into a lovely flat for less rent than we were on in Oxford.
- Took part in the national poetry slam final.
- Got properly stuck into this counselling stuff and seem to have a real knack for it. Properly interested in all the books too. It's a great feeling.

Lows
- Unsure about what's going to happen with gf
- Ongoing job uncertainty since July

Aims for 2015:

- Carry on with writing. Try to focus more on having fun with it though.
- Carry on with counselling training, fingers crossed i'll be on level 3 this time next year.
- Find a fucking job I can put up with. Or just find a permanent job. The latter is mission number one.
- See how things go with Mrs Hammerstein. My guess is that we will actually be together next year but unsure.
- I'm thinking also about joining a gym up the road once I get something permanent sorted. It's 5 minutes walk from my house and looks decent. I'm not worried about my weight or fitness or out but i haven't exercised that much recently so it'd be good to have somewhere to go for it whenever I want.

These things are great just to read back through my own shit over the years, tbh. Feel like I should say that so people are at least aware that I'm writing this for my own reference as much as anything else.

This year can be split into two halves. The first half can probably largely be defined by me coming to terms with the break up with the then 'Mrs Hammerstein' in January. I didn't just sit in my room and wallow but getting over it was mostly what was on my mind when I had a spare moment. I was feeling pretty low for quite a while, especially as I didn't know many people in Leeds when we broke up so it was quite lonely. Then I grew some balls and started doing things that I've always been curious about but which I'd never have done with her - namely the swingers and fetish clubs. Both were sheer curiosity to begin with - for the thrill of it - but more generally it was something I figured I should explore while I was single, and getting involved on the fetish scene in particular has been one of the best decisions I've ever made. The excitement of exploring all these things completely put the ex out of my mind, and knowing that I could only explore them so freely because I was single made me forget about the whole thing completely on a day to day level. Looking back, the stuff I've learned has made me view the break up as one of the best things that could have happened, as it enabled me to go exploring and learning.

That was a huge turning point in the year. The swinging thing I didn't do much but it was still a liberating experience, while the fetish scene has been genuinely amazing, both on a personal level and socially. From dipping my toe in I've managed to explore almost everything I was curious about, and I've become part of a local community made up of some of the most interesting and genuine people I'm ever likely to meet. From being something buried in the back of my mind, it's been brought to the forefront and I've realised that, although I'd always be careful who I'd tell, being interested in that shit is nothing to be ashamed of. That's been quite a big deal. I'm not bothered about exploring anything so much anymore as my curiosity is satisfied but just going to those events and chatting to the people is something I'd like to carry on doing. It's somewhere people can go and express any weird fetish they like without fear of ridicule or judgement, which to me is just so wonderful and life-affirming that I think I'd miss it if I cut all ties entirely. Everybody there is making themselves a little bit vulnerable in some way so there's a level of candidness in people that I've found rare in general. I'm so much more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been and I largely owe that to exploring all the stuff that I'd previously kept bottled up in my head. It's been very therapeutic, and that atmosphere of complete acceptance is so rare that I'd miss it a lot if I lost touch with it.

Coincidentally it was around the half-way mark, the time I stopping wallowing and started exploring, that I also moved house. Despite the warning I got from the ex (and a few people on here), I moved into a 8 person house in January, which was a nightmare. I moved again in May into a flat with a couple of Christian lasses and it's been awesome. None of us knew each other when we moved in but one of them has become one of my closest friends. She's become someone I can talk to for hours with about anything - proper friendship and that - and is generally a bit of a legend; the other is a bit of a spoilt cow but she's alright to live with. Either way, a massive step up from before. The one I get on with takes the whole God thing massively seriously (the other one is a bit of a part-timer) and doesn't believe in sex before marriage or anything like that, but she's also completely non-judgemental and we've had some really fascinating conversations about the fetish stuff and everything else.

*****

Relationships - Broke up with Mrs Hammerstein 10 days into 2015, which at the time was a massive kick in the teeth but looking back it was definitely for the best. Feeling really good that I view it as on the whole a positive thing to have happened. I've been seeing a few lasses but never anything serious or anything I was bothered about, until this last month or so. Currently seeing someone I'm very keen on and who it feels really good with, and if I play my cards right I'm hoping she can be a bit more involved in next year's one of these

Jobs - Got a job confirmed within a week of last year's entry. Passed probation, recommended to push for a promotion but can't because I'm in college a lot nowadays and the hours I need are unrealistically specific. Managed to get em for my current job so I'll probably hold tight until I finish the course. I enjoy the job though so I don't mind. Money could be better but I've got enough to live on.

Friendships - This has been a big improvement. I'm very happy with my social life at the minute, whereas this time last year I hardly knew anyone in Leeds at all.

I'm on a counselling level 4 course now, as I managed to skip a year. I'll be qualified after this has finished. Didn't think that was possible. All looking really promising.

Highs:

- Going back to The Philippines and seeing everyone I know there
- Exploring the fetish scene and my own interests in that department, and generally just becoming a lot more comfortable in my own skin as a result of it.
- Meeting someone I want something serious with. Early days yet, fingers crossed, but it's nice to have that feeling again.
- Moving into a great flat with decent housemates.

Lows:

- Breaking up with the girlfriend. Thought we'd end up together, thought our issues were a temporary blip and that we'd work through them. She didn't think so and binned me off 10 days into the year. Probably for the best in retrospect but it was a pretty big one and had a big impact for quite a while.

Aims:

- There's nothing in particular that I think will happen that's going to be massive, but I don't mind. 2015 had enough excitement. I want to sit tight in my job, get through the first year of my course, and generally just carry on what I've been doing. I have no plans on moving house, although the flatmate I'm close with is moving out so making sure her replacement is decent is vital. Also hoping to have a chat with this lass I'm seeing about making it a proper relationship and not just as casual thing. That might (probably will) happen before 2016 but whatever, it's going in here as it's an aim. I also want to carry on with my writing and I've been invited to do a triathlon in July which would be pretty cool, although I don't know if I have the motivation to do the training for it.