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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #11651
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I swear I remember you giving it the biggun about hiring a PA and just going for the fittest one.

  2. #11652
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    If they are disappearing roles to save money I might not go to laddo tomorrow and lead with 'stop giving this work to her she's not your PA' in case it causes a 'so what are we actually paying her for?' Discussion. From the lad who doesn't fancy her's point of view if he can disappear her job too he will probably get a gold star from higher up.

    They did the same shit at our spot when someone in a niche assistant role left and we copped all their responsibilities for no uplift. Only just managed to palm them off on someone else 5 years later.
    Last edited by Lofty; 14-03-2024 at 08:19 PM.

  3. #11653
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    That is a good point but due to the team structure I can’t see it happening. I won’t bore everyone with the details but she reports to two people and so has two workloads, whereas the other two people with the same job title only have one, so she’d be the last to go. Plus I’d rather take the risk if it means she’s happier at work, cos I’m a soft arse. She could waltz back into her old job, worst case scenario.

    The more I think about it, the more annoyed I am that that other job will cease to exist, cos it’s been my long term target since I started in 2018.
    I'm a twit

  4. #11654
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Aaaand I’ve just emailed everyone inviting them to a hen do I’m organising. What a top manager I am.
    I'm a twit

  5. #11655
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    her line manager:


    What about making her cry everyday
    I'm a twit

  6. #11656
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Thought that was a football manager screenshot for a second.

  7. #11657
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    True. I saw someone using Teams in light mode the other day and was nearly sick.
    I'm a twit

  8. #11658
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The Arab has just been at my desk in floods of tears (I'm always the last person left in at this time of day). He needed some dental treatment which cost several hundred pounds and asked his parents back in Jordan to sub him the money (they are wealthy). Some kind of massive dispute followed in which his father accused him of being out of money because he does drugs (he doesn't, or mushrooms at most) and it escalated to the point where his mother told him to delete her number and consider her dead to him.

    It's sad, how these fucking people carry on. No cool heads or ability to withdraw from arguments. Still, ceebs being the person he pours this out to in the office. I just sat there chewing gum like Big Keith and said 'it's not your fault'. What else am I supposed to say?

  9. #11659
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    What is he spending his money on?

  10. #11660
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Drugs.

  11. #11661
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Explosives.

  12. #11662
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Explosive drugs?

  13. #11663
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Explosive mushrooms?

  14. #11664
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Mushbooms.

  15. #11665
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Prostitutes.

  16. #11666
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Explosives prostitutes?

  17. #11667
    I used to be funny.
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    Combustitutes.

  18. #11668
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Thursdays gonna my last "work beano" for absolutely bloody ages.
    I'm a twit

  19. #11669
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Two 4-day weeks coming up though

    (albiet I have to take one day as holiday as the Dutch don't do Good Friday )

  20. #11670
    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
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    They don't but my company gives it off anyway.

  21. #11671
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Last week, the boss asked me for my honest opinion on the useless woman's work. Very generously, I said she had a good attitude and worked hard but needed to take more time to double check what she did and make sure it was correct. The truth is she's just too thick for this kind of work and will never improve, but I didn't say that.

    This morning I come in and she's been signed off work for two weeks for 'personal reasons'. Oh well.

  22. #11672
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    When they replace her you should request to be on the interview panel.
    I'm a twit

  23. #11673
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Did they ever recover all the stuff she deleted?

  24. #11674
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  25. #11675
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Any union would arsefuck them to death with employment law over a statement like that.

    Some clown at my spot tried to initiate a department re-org via the backdoor and was very sure of themselves until the union drafted a letter saying 'you've broken all these employment laws', suddenly the chief instigator had 'slept on it' and decided to do a proper consultation

  26. #11676
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Im in the process of updating my CV which I have not done in about 10 years.

    Looks like you can put your actual photo in your CV.

  27. #11677
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You could put a picture of your dick in your CV if you wanted, it's your CV.

  28. #11678
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Steady on.

  29. #11679
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Do it Sincere.

  30. #11680
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I want to be hired for my brains and not for my body.

  31. #11681
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  32. #11682
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    That and the A4 isn't big enough.

  33. #11683
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Racist!

  34. #11684
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I should have said a picture of literally any object other than 'your dick'. Never involve genitals in flippant online comments before 11am.

  35. #11685
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    One of the nurses I used to work with has just put up a bikini photo from holiday (as is her prerogative) and the weird paeds surgical reg has replied to it with a massive "WOW!" sticker and "What a click!".

    She's probably early to mid twenties and he's in his late forties.

    Absolutely deranged.

    Then again this is a guy who: doesn't believe in human evolution; didn't believe in covid for months and then decided he did believe in it and went completely paranoid about catching it; doesn't believe in autism; said "the taliban aren't all bad"; was against Saudi Arabia allowing women to drive because "what if they don't want to drive"; etc.

  36. #11686
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Sounds like he’d be popular on here.
    I'm a twit

  37. #11687
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    One of the nurses I used to work with has just put up a bikini photo from holiday (as is her prerogative) and the weird paeds surgical reg has replied to it with a massive "WOW!" sticker and "What a click!".

    She's probably early to mid twenties and he's in his late forties.

    Absolutely deranged.

    Then again this is a guy who: doesn't believe in human evolution; didn't believe in covid for months and then decided he did believe in it and went completely paranoid about catching it; doesn't believe in autism; said "the taliban aren't all bad"; was against Saudi Arabia allowing women to drive because "what if they don't want to drive"; etc.
    Was the bikini pic decent though?

  38. #11688
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Today is International Moron Day at my place of work.

    First of all the Uzbekistan gold mine fuck-up rears its head again, another trip is required, this time with the chief engineer going out there as, you guessed it, a sales guy going out on his own to shrug at a broken engine didn't get things sorted. The chief engineer is summoned to the sales director's office to be given the news, the following conversation ensues:

    CE: So do they speak Indian in Uzbekistan?
    SD: Erm... no, no they don't.
    CE: What language do they speak, then? Asian?
    SD: ....

    The Russian was quickly mobilised and added to the dispatch party. Meanwhile, I got drawn into the most needless argument in history with the Italian woman. The finance director used to send out an official exchange rate list every month, instead of this he has now said 'ceebs just use Google'. The Italian woman has chosen this, of all things, to be her hill to die on, claiming that the Google exchange rate takes too long to look up and isn't reliable. The Sales Director, already weary from the earlier conversation, delegated me to resolve this tantrum. I explained that the Google exchange rate is live, but she is absolutely unrepentant, saying that if the finance director can't issue a company-approved exchange rate for her to bung tirelessly into her calculator every time, then he isn't doing his job properly.

    Finally, several hours later, I've managed to emerge, like Chamberlain from the Munich conference, waving a piece of paper with a pencil-written exchange rate which she can look up and rub out periodically before writing in the new one. Peace in our time!

  39. #11689
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Donned by big nipple energy.

  40. #11690
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    Had a call with my Head of Department yesterday about returning to work after the Easter Holidays. Going to do a phased return, so current plan is exam classes first and pick the rest up over four weeks or so, but with room to deviate from the plan, which is helpful. I still plan to discuss going part time, but that won't be until September I imagine. I've rowed back a bit on quitting Head of Year entirely; it probably still needs to happen but will see what it's like picking it back up for the remainder of the academic year.

    On the plus side, I've heard some snippets of some positive changes being made whilst I've been away (binning blazers, banning mobile phones, big push on defiance and disrespect) which has made me feel a bit more positive about going back.

  41. #11691
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Binning blazers?

  42. #11692
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Presumably that means removing them as a uniform requirement, rather than some symbolic bra-burning type act.

  43. #11693

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    I thought it was some roadman speak.

  44. #11694
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    How is that positive though?

  45. #11695
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Dunno. Probably lessens the number of places to stash a bladed item.

  46. #11696
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Or a phone, or any number of other implements.

    Kids should all wear branded polo shirts to school really. All the discipline of wearing the right kit / the same kit as each other, without the bullshit. Cheaper too.

  47. #11697
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    So should workforces. All dressed like they work for DPD or The Works.
    I'm a twit

  48. #11698
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Polyester polos have to be one of mankind's worst inventions.

  49. #11699
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mo View Post
    big push on defiance and disrespect ...
    About time that happened. They're my favourite NXT tag team.

  50. #11700
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Cheaper too.
    This is probably the actual reason. Some schools take the piss with their uniform requirements. The demand for embroidered blazers, rather than allowing a badge be stitched on, being one of them. They can cost £70 odd alone. Fine if you're sending your kid to a Private school. Less fine if they're attending a school in the middle of an underprivileged community.

    I imagine the current economy has made the calls to end the pompous bollocks too loud to ignore.

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