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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #11301
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    That’s defo coming up in a tribunal in 18 months time.

  2. #11302
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    You all underestimate our relationship. Honestly it’s solid gold.
    I'm a twit

  3. #11303
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Settle down quince.
    How can you say this given the top notch content which has proceeded.

  4. #11304
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    People in the office shagging and senior men copping off with younger Women are two of the oldest modern day working tropes going - you're dancing through this thread like you're completely unaware of either and I'm the weirdo.

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    Yev's, I feel you're judging Barry here. Perhaps tone down the judgement a little bit? Or not? You do you.

  5. #11305
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    Can I have her number?

  6. #11306
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    To be fair, Baz hired this woman at least partly based on her being fit.
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing that in my opinion. I mean, she/he must have other qualities for the job, but nothing wrong in plucking the fitty out of a group of equal candidates. Boosts office morale.

  7. #11307
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Baz, I agree, I reckon she knows you have a crush on her, but it also sounds like she really enjoys it.

    This'll either be because she enjoys the attention, or it's because she's into you. I'm putting money on the latter.

  8. #11308
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dquincy View Post
    Yev's, I feel you're judging Barry here. Perhaps tone down the judgement a little bit? Or not? You do you.
    Of course I'm judging him and I don't necessarily mean in a bad way - they're both adults, but any judging is being done on the basis of his words in this thread. I mean, look at that last post of his, just look at it.

  9. #11309
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    Of course I'm judging him and I don't necessarily mean in a bad way - they're both adults, but any judging is being done on the basis of his words in this thread. I mean, look at that last post of his, just look at it.
    Love it. I fully retract my statement.

    I think that's partly what makes this place so good, the different personalities and people being open.

  10. #11310
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dquincy View Post
    This'll either be because she enjoys the attention, or it's because she's into you. I'm putting money on the latter.
    I’m not bothered either way. I’ve a friend who I didn’t even know five months ago who cheers me up everyday, and that’s all I want.
    I'm a twit

  11. #11311
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    That first paragraph is sensational Baz.

  12. #11312
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Yeah, part of me would love to be a judgemental shitbag but it's absolute poetry in motion, too beautiful to be criticised.

  13. #11313
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'm rooting for Baz to get the wick dipped after that.

  14. #11314
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    Fucking hell Baz. You'll be asking to put your pen in her doughnut in no time.

  15. #11315
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Can I have her number?
    Is this because I’ve made her sound fun? Cos honestly I could never do her justice.

    If Mike ever meets her he’ll be like yeah she’s class, guaranteed.
    I'm a twit

  16. #11316
    I used to be funny.
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    She'll wind up shagging someone else in the office and Baz will be on a permanent seethe.

  17. #11317
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    The tribunal having the phrases 'sweaty clam', 'vagina hands' and 'well mine have been up loads' read aloud deadpan will be like an episode of the Office.

  18. #11318
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Only one was me
    I'm a twit

  19. #11319
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Very entertaining morning this morning. The Arab's Yemeni customers are all ringing up to call him an Israeli-sympathising pigdog, because he works for a British company and the UK put some planes in the airstrikes on Houthis overnight. Bad guys, down there, very bad guys.

  20. #11320
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Can only assume this is what Iran wanted as we previously discussed, threatening the west's bottom line is a carpet bombing offence.

  21. #11321
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    She'll wind up shagging someone else in the office and Baz will be on a permanent seethe.
    Had this exact scenario happen about 15 years ago when I worked in a student pub. Duty Manager (who was married and in his mid-30s) was always flirting with one of the student-aged barmaids. Rumours galore, "We're just mates who have a laugh together", the usual. Then on a staff night out, she ended up getting together with one of the other lads that worked there. The manager was fuming, calling her a slut, "I thought I knew her, but obviously not". Ended up storming off and going home early, and then stopped scheduling her for shifts when he was working.

  22. #11322
    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
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  23. #11323
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    I like it and agree with the sentiment.

  24. #11324
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    I can't concentrate in the office anymore, went in yesterday and there was far too much bleating from self important clowns to effectively crunch numbers. Thank god we have a policy set in stone already.

  25. #11325
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    I certainly get more work done at home, but the better together thing is so true for the vast majority of fields. It's not so bad for us older people, but I look back on how much I learnt when I was younger just picking things up from people around me without having to ask stupid questions and it was invaluable. So in short, it's the younger/less experienced people who're really missing out by working from home, which is ironic given they're the ones pushing the most to be able to.

  26. #11326
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    I like it and agree with the sentiment.
    Isn't there mountains of evidence that all their arguments for why people need to come back are demonstrably untrue?

  27. #11327
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    The thing you miss (aside from the above) is the "2nd-hand smoke" info, just overhearing someone talk about XYZ can give you a lot of background info/terminology etc. I miss that a bit as once you hit 'End' on a Zoom call everything ceases to exist

  28. #11328
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    100%. I would be 0.2x as good at my job if I wasn't hear learning indirectly from my colleagues every day.

  29. #11329
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Aw poor youngsters being deprived of their critical workplace development that will in no way become redundant in the near future.

    There will need to be substitute provisions to allow for social development but rounding them up for the fucking disgusting office environment is not it.

    Also lol at how stereotypical the various figures of "Internet Brands" are, right down to their ethnic roots; the Mr Burns CEO, the ex-military gammon customer-facing VP, the fruity gesticulative marketing head, the cumslut HR head, etc

  30. #11330
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    We're being moved up to 60% in the office from 40 soon apparently, which is obviously better than doing the full lot but the only beneficiary of this is going to be Scotrail.

  31. #11331
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Isn't there mountains of evidence that all their arguments for why people need to come back are demonstrably untrue?
    Maybe, but I'd genuinely like to see them if so. My bullshit detector is going haywire.

  32. #11332
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post

    There will need to be substitute provisions to allow for social development but rounding them up for the fucking disgusting office environment is not it.
    What are they then? I'll pre-empt RL's list and say that this one thing outweighs all of the other negatives combined of working in an office when it comes to one's development.

  33. #11333
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    And then there's also the social aspect, which for me in one workplace went from regular beers to driving across Europe in a clapped out 2001 convertible Merc and taking it for a spin around the Nurburgring. I'm not convinced what led to us doing that would have happened if it weren't for working in an office and it remains one of the best things I've ever done.

  34. #11334
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I'm getting a bit bored of wfh full time (well, 99% of the time) tbh. But my office is tiny (there's only five of us but if we're all in it feels a bit cramped) and there's not even monitors or shit in there so we're stuck with just laptop screens.

    I'd never want to go back to going in every day but I wouldn't mind doing maybe two days a week.

  35. #11335
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I've somewhat missed the bus now, but I just want to go on record - ahead of the ITV dramatisation - in saying that I am judging Baz and it is absolutely in a bad way.

  36. #11336
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    What are they then? I'll pre-empt RL's list and say that this one thing outweighs all of the other negatives combined of working in an office when it comes to one's development.
    The social revolution will probably centre around education, creative maggotry and volunteering shite. All three having just as much, if not more, room for social engagement.

  37. #11337
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I think you're vastly underestimating the economy's capacity to create work for people. We might all be deliveroo riders, but we'll be grafting, and we'll be doing it all day. Human society is set up for nothing less.

  38. #11338
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Have a wander over to Milton Keynes.



    Next...

  39. #11339
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    We can be the security guards for those things in everywhere that isn't just old white people.

  40. #11340
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I had lunch with the Arab again, because I'm a masochist, and he spent most of it explaining the honour killing system in Middle Eastern countries. If your mother, daughter or sister is seen with a man you don't like then you can murder both of them for a six month jail term (he says) because honour murder is legally different to general murder.

    He gave the example of when he was younger, his sister was going out one evening, so naturally he decided to follow her and brought his 'Glock'. Sure enough she went to see a man and in burst the Arab wielding the handgun. He told his sister to go home and told the man to come in his car for a drive. The man did so and he told him never to go near his sister again or he would report him to his father and have him killed. So ended the relationship.

    I'm not convinced this was true, obviously, but even if it isn't, why is he telling me this and what does he hope to achieve by doing so?

  41. #11341
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    More importantly, does he agree that's the way things should work?

  42. #11342
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I don't think he has a moral position on it, he just acknowledges that that's the way it is, and also acknowledges that in the west all murders are just murders.

  43. #11343
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    I assumed "The Arab" was a fictitious character some time ago. Confirmed.

  44. #11344
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You can come down and meet him if you like. He does Jiu Jitsu in the local leisure centre on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tell him I sent you.

  45. #11345
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    It's alright, Manc doesn't believe anything that isn't happening in his house is real.

    100% one of those who replied to everything he saw on the internet with 'pics or it didn't happen' once upon a time.

  46. #11346
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Probably goes around Twitter tagging DHOTYA in everything.

  47. #11347
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Everyone should be back in the office at this stage or what's the reason they aren't?

  48. #11348
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    They don't fancy it.

    I'd be bang up for it if they used all the dead office space to solve the housing supply crisis but, shock horror, that doesn't appear to be happening.

  49. #11349
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'm actually shocked companies haven't got everyone back at this stage, unless they don't want it. Surely you just tell someone to come in or fuck off.

  50. #11350
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Job market is very employee-friendly at the moment so they can't afford to do that.

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