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Thread: News of the day

  1. #13001
    I used to be funny.
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    "You can't fight here. This is the situation room."

  2. #13002
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Gender changing my bollocks.
    Are you going to Scotland to do it?

  3. #13003
    I used to be funny.
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    From the Megan Thee Stallion shooting trial:

    I hate when rappers have excellent real names that they don't use.

    The rapper argued that Lanez, whose real name is Daystar Peterson, became enraged after she had disparaged his musical talent.

  4. #13004
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    Today I discovered Steeve Ho You Fat.


  5. #13005
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  6. #13006
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Jesus Christ.



    Police say a relative discovered the bodies of Cindy Braddock, 25 and Jake Day, 28 in the wreckage of the family's car about five kilometres from Kondinin, where the family lived, just before midday on Tuesday.

    Their youngest child, a baby boy, was found in the car, meaning he had been trapped in the vehicle for more than two days after the family began the two-hour drive from Northam at about 1am on Christmas morning.

    Their five-year-old daughter and two-year-old son had managed to free themselves from the wreckage and had been stranded on the side of the road until help finally came.
    https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-12-...t-wa/101810650

  7. #13007
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Oofff. That 5 year old is going yo have some issues.

  8. #13008
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by -james- View Post
    https://s.wsj.net/public/resources/d...rdlanguage.pdf

    Stanford University have published a list of "Forbidden words", along with suggested alternatives. Some of it is incredible.
    Imagine being at uni or working in academia with all this sort of bollocks, they live on a different planet.

  9. #13009
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Imagine.

  10. #13010
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    How do you manage?

  11. #13011
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    By not talking to anyone, basically. That is the good part of the job: all I need to do is to show up for my classes, publish once in a while, and then I can fuck off and do as I please. The amount of shit that is sent via email is seethe-inducing though.

  12. #13012
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    My department is alright though. We give the lowest grades of the entire university.

  13. #13013
    I used to be funny.
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    I like that. Keeping shit real.

  14. #13014
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Thought you might have an enforced 'they/them' in your email signature.

  15. #13015
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Pronouns are not yet enforced, only strongly encouraged, but I assume that it is a matter of time.

    I have attached the TLC’s syllabus template as well as a document that has our college's inclusion statement and some other required and optional statements. Per the Provost’s office, you must include a disability accommodation statement. I personally suggest that you also include an inclusion statement, a mental health statement, and a pronoun usage statement.

  16. #13016
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I don't even know what those things are (pronouns aside).

    Is a disability accommodation statement literally just like "If you are disabled I will accommodate this mate"?
    Last edited by randomlegend; 28-12-2022 at 10:59 PM.

  17. #13017
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Good grief. You have my sympathies.

  18. #13018
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I don't even know what those things are (pronouns aside).

    Is a disability accommodation statement literally just like "If you are disabled I will accommodate this mate"?
    It's libtard nonsense like 'We're wheelchair accessible' which they're legally mandated to do because no-one did it for 100s of years. It's a fucking disgrace. Pol Pot had the right idea. Put anyone with glasses to the wall.

  19. #13019
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I don't even know what those things are (pronouns aside).

    Is a disability accommodation statement literally just like "If you are disabled I will accommodate this mate"?
    It says that if they have a disability, they should contact the office of accessibility so that they can get accommodations. You will be interested to know that over 30% (and rising) of our students receive accommodations for all kinds of 'disabilities' they claim to have. Usually it means that they get 50% more time to complete their exams, although that has creeped up and now most are getting double time. Obviously they are all just a bunch of chancers. None of them is disabled in any way, or at least none of the ones who have required accommodations in any of my classes.

  20. #13020
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    On the mad US student front a friend of mine is some sort of finance officer for American students at the University of Brighton, dealing with the US government loans to their students. He's been getting a lot of grief off one particular student who has been desperately trying to take out all sorts of loans. Now 'that student' claims that they haven't taken out any loans and it's all been an elaborate identity theft and the FBI are involved because it's some sort of reasonably serious federal crime.

    We suggest you include an inclusion statement reads a bit mad.

  21. #13021
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    It says that if they have a disability, they should contact the office of accessibility so that they can get accommodations. You will be interested to know that over 30% (and rising) of our students receive accommodations for all kinds of 'disabilities' they claim to have. Usually it means that they get 50% more time to complete their exams, although that has creeped up and now most are getting double time. Obviously they are all just a bunch of chancers. None of them is disabled in any way, or at least none of the ones who have required accommodations in any of my classes.
    Is loads of it "ADHD"? Being prescribed Adderall is already a cheat code for exams.

  22. #13022
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    We are not given that information but my guess is that most of it is 'ADHD', yes.

  23. #13023
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    We have two dyslexics at my work - one calls it a disability and works from home half the week to accommodate it (presumably they just battle through the other days), and the other didn't realise they had it until they were doing their Masters degree and just cracks on like a normal person. At the same time, between the lift being temperamental and having to move your own boxes, it would be pretty much impossible for any genuine disableds to work there, so we maintain an interesting and delicate balance.

  24. #13024
    I used to be funny.
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    Our two had an automatic door installed on the first floor. It broke down so often they just had people hold it open for them.

    Meanwhile, Fat cunts in Brazil.

    Aged 14, having got stuck in the bus turnstile yet again, and feeling the eyes of the rest of the passengers on her, she vowed never to take this form of public transport again.
    Bloody fatphobic turnstiles.
    Last edited by Shindig; 29-12-2022 at 08:07 AM.

  25. #13025
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    All that ADHD and mental health shite is the biggest con known to man.

  26. #13026
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Worse is "autism" which tries to pass off kids that can't talk and have to wear crash helmets as having the same condition as Einstein level geniuses.

  27. #13027
    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Our two had an automatic door installed on the first floor. It broke down so often they just had people hold it open for them.

    Meanwhile, Fat cunts in Brazil.



    Bloody fatphobic turnstiles.
    13% of children aged five to nine are obese

    7% of children up to the age of five are obese

  28. #13028
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Maybe working in the care industry has given me more insight than most, but you lot are on one with these mental health/disorder takes.

  29. #13029
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    Maybe working in the care industry has given me more insight than most, but you lot are on one with these mental health/disorder takes.
    To clarify my point, I'm not saying Autism isn't a thing, just that I think it's a non-diagnosis alot of the time. A bit like my IBS diagnosis, which is essentially doctors saying "well it's not Chrones and it's not Coeliacs so fuck knows what's wrong with you m8".

    My Nephew has "autism" and also had to have heart surgery at the age of 18 months, something that is apparently common in people that have Down Syndrome relatives (which he does) according to his doctor at Brompton. Which just makes "oh it's autism" feel like a bit of a "fuck knows tbh". I just wonder how much of that is going on along a "spectrum" that manages to inclulde the hyper-social, the hyper-unsocial, Einstein and non-vernal people that can't cope with a coaster being out of place. I think there are alot of Syndromes and disorders that are just "Autism" because they just don't know what it actually is.

  30. #13030
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Our two had an automatic door installed on the first floor. It broke down so often they just had people hold it open for them.

    Meanwhile, Fat cunts in Brazil.



    Bloody fatphobic turnstiles.


    The mind boggles at the thought process whereby, after finding yourself getting stuck in bus turnstiles on what sounds like a semi-regular basis, you decide to swerve the very clear and obvious conclusion that you really need to lose some weight and, instead, embark upon a crusade against society for being "fat phobic".

  31. #13031
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    My nephew is being lined up to be tested by his fuckwit parents and will no doubt get a diagnosis but I've seen enough in his 4 years to fully believe it's all just learned behaviours. The useless couple in question could barely function in society so I saw this coming long before his arrival. There's obviously a genetic predisposition looking at our entire family but where I have been able to don the spectrum, this poor kid stood no chance with his parents. You fucking spend every waking second of the child's life bending over backwards to accomodate for his needs like a pair of melts and make him completely unaware of the concept of not getting his way and then you send him to a fucking paedo doctor to get slapped with a disability tag when he throws tantrums at not getting his way?

  32. #13032
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    Maybe working in the care industry has given me more insight than most, but you lot are on one with these mental health/disorder takes.
    All of these diseases are obviously a thing, but in the care industry you see the real cases. In my university you just see little cheating twats trying to gain any advantage they can.

  33. #13033
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    All of these diseases are obviously a thing, but in the care industry you see the real cases. In my university you just see little cheating twats trying to gain any advantage they can.
    @Magic

  34. #13034
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    All of these diseases are obviously a thing, but in the care industry you see the real cases. In my university you just see little cheating twats trying to gain any advantage they can.
    Maybe that's a symptom of how relentlessly competitive society is.

  35. #13035
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Alright Oxbridge.

  36. #13036
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post

  37. #13037
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    More real than Crowvid.

  38. #13038
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Maybe that's a symptom of how relentlessly competitive society is.
    Maybe, but these kids can afford a $70,000 per year university. They are already winning.

  39. #13039
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...shire-64116668

    Who the fuck wants a 'Merry Christmas' text from their doctor's surgery anyway?

  40. #13040
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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  41. #13041
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  42. #13042
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Yeah, I saw that earlier. Quite an impressive fuck up to go from Merry Christmas to a terminal cancer diagnosis.

  43. #13043
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Maybe, but these kids can afford a $70,000 per year university. They are already winning.
    Of course but there's probably a lot of pressure from their parents who are paying the $70k per year fees.

  44. #13044
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Yeah, I saw that earlier. Quite an impressive fuck up to go from Merry Christmas to a terminal cancer diagnosis.
    Imagine you were the one that actually had it though for triple lols.

  45. #13045
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    My nephew is being lined up to be tested by his fuckwit parents and will no doubt get a diagnosis but I've seen enough in his 4 years to fully believe it's all just learned behaviours. The useless couple in question could barely function in society so I saw this coming long before his arrival. There's obviously a genetic predisposition looking at our entire family but where I have been able to don the spectrum, this poor kid stood no chance with his parents. You fucking spend every waking second of the child's life bending over backwards to accomodate for his needs like a pair of melts and make him completely unaware of the concept of not getting his way and then you send him to a fucking paedo doctor to get slapped with a disability tag when he throws tantrums at not getting his way?
    My friend has an autistic nephew that sits just the wrong side of the sweet spot where he apparently knows absolutely everything there is to know about dinosaurs, but, at the same time, if he gets driven home from school the 'wrong' way he throws a wobbler and tries to smash the car windows. Did they just slap that sort of thing out of them back in the olden days?

  46. #13046
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Looney bin probably.

  47. #13047
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Of course but there's probably a lot of pressure from their parents who are paying the $70k per year fees.
    You're such a tart.

  48. #13048
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Quote Originally Posted by lewis View Post
    my friend has an autistic nephew that sits just the wrong side of the sweet spot where he apparently knows absolutely everything there is to know about dinosaurs, but, at the same time, if he gets driven home from school the 'wrong' way he throws a wobbler and tries to smash the car windows. Did they just slap that sort of thing out of them back in the olden days?
    100% imho.

  49. #13049
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    The good old days, when you could watch a nativity without someone barking in the corner in a helmet.
    I'm a twit

  50. #13050
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    There was one proper autistic at my primary school, and he used to run around putting people in wrestling holds whilst his pensioner carer tried to talk him out of it. He disappeared to a 'special school' before secondary, so maybe they just buried them in those back then instead of being soft and letting them ruin lessons for everybody else.

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