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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #8451
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    From the makers of Domestic Abuse Champion.
    I never bothered with that one in the end.

    One of the few available monikers I don't have, granted.

    Will be sad to stop being a Dementia Ambassador, but the rest should carry on.
    I'm a twit

  2. #8452
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I'm supposed to be doing a demo this afternoon of some stuff I got working last week but in the meantime one of our dickhead contractors has gone and broken something in another service that my stuff relied on so now it's not working. These cunts are literally just breaking shit we get working every other day. Fucking useless.

  3. #8453
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    Quote Originally Posted by mo View Post
    Not for the cyber bullying of exclusion, no. There is a wider context in which he perceives he is the victim, but does nothing to help himself. Mum says he's been bullied since Year 1. Year 1! That's insane.

    Anyway, apologies if that came off callous, it's why I don't tend to post about specifics normally. But now I work as part of the pastoral team I get a lot of this shit and the dickheads are grinding me down a bit.
    He left today. "Too afraid to come back to school" were mum's words. Really hope he makes a good go of wherever he's going now.

  4. #8454
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Sinister.

  5. #8455
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    The awesome tutor I had for my apprenticeship left and the new one just isn't good.



    Good feedback, thanks.



    Three day weekend starts now though, lessgoo
    I'm a twit

  6. #8456
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    "A good reason for this is..."

    Or, probably better:

    "This allows..."

    Tell Jane I want nudes.

  7. #8457
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I’m off to the ploughing tomorrow. Do your lot set up anything at it at all @Jimmy?

  8. #8458
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Nope. Oddly we do very little tractor in Ireland, other than some idiot in Longford who never pays his bills. Loads of digger business though, relative to the country's size.

  9. #8459
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I'm supposed to be doing a demo this afternoon of some stuff I got working last week but in the meantime one of our dickhead contractors has gone and broken something in another service that my stuff relied on so now it's not working. These cunts are literally just breaking shit we get working every other day. Fucking useless.

  10. #8460
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Also bear in mind they're probably getting paid twice as much as you

  11. #8461
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Nope. Oddly we do very little tractor in Ireland, other than some idiot in Longford who never pays his bills. Loads of digger business though, relative to the country's size.
    Jaysus there’s some tech in farming these days.

  12. #8462
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The most modern JDs are basically like NASA space stations. Within 10-20 years they won't even need to be driven.

  13. #8463
    I used to be funny.
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    I liked the story a few years back at tractor owners jailbreaking their firmware because they didn't want to pay John Deere for the privilege. Hacked tractors.

  14. #8464
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Managed to dodge having Fire Warden added to my list of responsibilities.
    I'm a twit

  15. #8465
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Thought you’d be all over that.

  16. #8466
    I used to be funny.
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    That's probably not so bad. Two drills a year, at best.

  17. #8467
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Managed to dodge having Fire Warden added to my list of responsibilities.
    My wife thinks I'm a retard, so she often jokes that at work they just give me a little list of "oooh special jobs for Andy" to be getting on with whilst everyone else does the actual doctoring.

    This is what comes to mind every time you post about your list of special roles.

  18. #8468
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Fire Warden while working from home sounds a pretty sweet deal.

  19. #8469
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    My wife thinks I'm a retard, so she often jokes that at work they just give me a little list of "oooh special jobs for Andy" to be getting on with whilst everyone else does the actual doctoring.

    This is what comes to mind every time you post about your list of special roles.
    I think it's just exaggerated on here, to be honest. Mental Health First Aider gets me £8 a month so I cling onto that one, but the others aren't really things. Besides, I think it's only Culture Champion and Digital Champion that still exist, and I don't mind the "spread the word" responsibilities that come with them. I'm disappointed my dads suggestion of being "the face of AIDS for St. Helens" never took off, honestly. Hopefully I can become the face of homelessness or substance misuse.

    Fire Warden would require me to commit to being in the office every Thursday, which I don't want to do. Funnily enough, the two blokes who are in the most have been nominated to be the Fire Wardens, so they've brought it on themselves really.

    The Organisational Development department do an awards ceremony every year and recently asked for volunteers to read all the nominations and "score" them, so think I'll put my name down for that in the hope of being invited along, cos it means 4pm drinking and getting paid for the pleasure.

    Also recently listed the stuff I'll carry on doing and the stuff I'll not do anymore once my role officially changes in mid-October and it's looking very positive for my FM career. Essentially I'll be picking up no additional responsibilities but will have time to actual focus on the tasks properly within my working remit, and sacking off a lot of bitty stuff from other peoples portfolios that they can't be bothered doing. Payday on 21st November is gonna be lovely.
    I'm a twit

  20. #8470
    I used to be funny.
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    My massive MHFA book's just arrived. You could knock a cunt out with it.

  21. #8471
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    I got given THE TEXTBOOK too. Do I fuck get any extra pay for being a MHFA though.

  22. #8472
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    My massive MHFA book's just arrived. You could knock a cunt out with it.
    Or a dog.

  23. #8473
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    So I may well have chosen the best point in the last 10 years to change things up.

    I have gone to doing the mortgage advice side of the business on a self-employed basis which means no safety net of a salary on a monthly basis. In a lot of ways it's very good for me as it means overall I earn more money from the mortgages and also means that the money gets paid direct to my business and I can pay myself salary and dividends so not have to pay a huge amount of tax but now at this point I'm sat here wondering how the next year to eighteen months will be with mortgages.

    On the plus side I have also set up a financial advice firm which basically extricates me from the idiots that I was previously employed by as all my business now has to go through that firm. I'm hoping the financial advice combined with the mortgages should be enough to see me through any sticky patch over the next year to 18 months. The start up though has been hard work I knew it was going to be difficult but I don't think I appreciated just how difficult it was going to be.

  24. #8474
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I've just realised I sent a work email to someone where I tried to italicise a word by using the formatting from this place.

  25. #8475
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Career ending stuff.

  26. #8476
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    _lol_

  27. #8477
    I used to be funny.
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    This laptop I got from work is cooked. It wouldn't boot up yesterday morning, this morning Chrome decided it wasn't going to open the course I was doing and my emails. Then a reboot killed it again. I don't even need a webcam for this but the woman running the course seems to insist on it for safety reasons. I think it's mainly so they can see who's on the call and if anybody kicks off.
    Last edited by Shindig; 04-10-2022 at 11:36 AM.

  28. #8478
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    My work webcam is taped up at all times and I even swerve turning it on in teams meetings where I am supposed to, unless directly instructed to by my manager.

  29. #8479
    I used to be funny.
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    There's one lad who's had his blocked all meeting and hasn't a said a word. One woman is just hair to me.

  30. #8480
    Senior Member CJay's Avatar
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    Tomorrow for work I am driving 1.5 hours to Stormont to pick up my new work computer. Only I can do this as I have to exchange my current computer complete with login details. I then have to sit for around 2 hours while they transfer stuff from my old device to my new device. Then I have to drive 1.5 hours home. The odds of then being able to sit down when I get home and immediately start working without any issues seem extremely long to me.

    Is anyone else’s IT department this backward? Isn’t remote deployment a thing? I get paid mileage, so it doesn’t bother me really, but it seems like an awful waste of company (aka taxpayer) money and time.

  31. #8481
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I was issued with a laptop in March 2021 that I briefly used to respond to e-mails whilst our building was out of action, but since then it's been in a locker because I'm not allowed to take it into our secure office, and I can't use it for the work we do in the secure office. The idea was that it stays with you for your career, but there are rumblings that they're going to recall half of the unused ones because that was obviously a stupid idea to begin with.

  32. #8482
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJay View Post
    Tomorrow for work I am driving 1.5 hours to Stormont to pick up my new work computer. Only I can do this as I have to exchange my current computer complete with login details. I then have to sit for around 2 hours while they transfer stuff from my old device to my new device. Then I have to drive 1.5 hours home. The odds of then being able to sit down when I get home and immediately start working without any issues seem extremely long to me.

    Is anyone else’s IT department this backward? Isn’t remote deployment a thing? I get paid mileage, so it doesn’t bother me really, but it seems like an awful waste of company (aka taxpayer) money and time.
    Civil service?

  33. #8483
    I used to be funny.
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    Our laptops don't really do much special. It's more to circumvent the over-zealous firewall and whatever else the thin clients can't access. Stuff like how we all have Teams installed on our desktops but it's only good for the chat client.

  34. #8484
    Senior Member CJay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Civil service?
    Housing Executive.

  35. #8485
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Ours are basically personal laptops that we access work stuff on (Sharepoint). I just buy one with my work card every few years.

  36. #8486
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Our IT department used to be more relaxed but have completely shit the bed over the prospect of the railway being shut down by Russia/ransomware.

  37. #8487
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    For the first time in my life, I have been contacted to be a reference for someone I used to manage.

    I haven't done one of these before. What's the procedure? Do I just lost the guy's strengths and achievements in the workplace? Anything need to go in about sickness record or anything like that?

  38. #8488
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    It may be a myth but steer clear of anything negative. If he was a liability you just say 'I cannot provide a reference'

  39. #8489
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Yeah, just stay positive unless he is in the immediate family of Satan himself, in which case don't provide one.

  40. #8490
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    It may be a myth but steer clear of anything negative. If he was a liability you just say 'I cannot provide a reference'
    He was fine so don't have that issue. Sickness record is also fine but if a situation comes up again where it isn't, would it be common practice for potential employers to want such information off a referee?

  41. #8491
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    My employer didn't give a fuck about my sickness record and I was genuinely fired due to taking the piss with it last role. Unless they ask for that info I wouldn't bother.

  42. #8492
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I thought you literally just confirmed they work there for references these days.

  43. #8493
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I've done a few for people becoming teachers and all the schools asked me if I thought the candidates were suitable for the post described, and why.

  44. #8494
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    I tend to have to do quite detailed references, and it's a ballache as every place wants them done differently. I had a trainee a couple of years ago who had 3 or 4 interviews before securing a post, it ranged from one place wanting a brief summary of their suitability to a 7 page document . One earlier this year required me to send my reference electronically AND by post, on school-headed paper. Literally pointless.

  45. #8495
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I thought you literally just confirmed they work there for references these days.
    Depends if you refer to an individual or just an HR department I guess. The latter will definitely just confirm you worked there.

  46. #8496
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    Thanks for the responses everyone.

  47. #8497
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    I had a good run, haven't been in the office at all for nearly 12 months solid and maybe 5 times since March 2020 but the time has come. I suspect the lad we took on in the interim who then had some mental health abscences and left for sunnier shores has fucked us.

    We've got new starters coming in and have to report to the office at least once a week going forward

  48. #8498
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Once a week is genuinely pointless.

  49. #8499
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Once a week is genuinely pointless.
    They asked us to do Thursdays. I never really bothered but whenever I do go in everyone just spends the day chatting cos we’ve not seen eachother, and slowly everyone’s realised they get no work done when they go in so rather than just limit the chatter, they’ve just stopped going in.

    Last Thursday I genuinely spent 40 minutes talking about Married At First Sight, which I’ve never even seen.
    I'm a twit

  50. #8500
    I used to be funny.
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    There's so few in on my days that small talk struggles to happen.

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