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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #8001
    I used to be funny.
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    I'm hoping the pay bump I'm due can let me slap another 1% of contributions on my pension but the news isn't that good.
    Last edited by Shindig; 22-06-2022 at 05:57 PM.

  2. #8002
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Update:

    They inform me I've paid off my overpayment from December. (I know, I'm talking about the one from March which I told you about 3 months ago).

    The rebate is paying back my pension contributions from the start of this locum post due to my opt out. (I have not opted out of pension contributions).

    Incredible.

  3. #8003
    I used to be funny.
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    Fuck it. If they say otherwise, crack on.

    In better news, we've moved desks. I can see the TV in break room from there so that's me sorted for the World Cup. Assuming I'm not sitting somewhere else by then.
    Last edited by Shindig; 23-06-2022 at 07:52 PM.

  4. #8004
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    So latest is: my only sales colleague has been fired and has been painted as having a drink problem. Was also told he didn't even own his house(!).

    I have moved up from ignored to absolutely controlled, which is awful but not as awful as being ignored. Dragged through to the office last Friday to do cold calling with a poor part-time woman from one of the sub-companies who is the owner's neighbour. I had to go through at 0900 as that's when it was in my calendar, leaving the house at 0700. I got there and then was told the woman and the sub-boss guy from the sub-company wouldn't be in until 10 (LOL).

    We were told a bunch of info about a 'grant' that may or may not be applicable and got given a list of companies. From what I gathered it was basically a lie and an in to organisations so we could then find out more about their IT. Not great but whatever. The sub-boss said go in to your separate offices in the afternoon to make the calls as it's not great doing it in front of other people.

    So, the afternoon comes and the owner comes in and brings up Wolf of Wall Street on YouTube and says 'that's how you make a cold call! Don't tell them where the grant is from, don't tell them anything. Use the board room phones, most appointments gets a bottle of Moet'.

    The woman (owner's neighbour) left in tears and I just made up my own script and obviously didn't get any appointments and in fairness neither did the account manager who also had to do it. This place is literally insane and changes almost every day. I can barely cope.

  5. #8005
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Are you making up stories to try and beat Jimmy at his own game?

  6. #8006
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I really, REALLY wish I was.

  7. #8007
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    The big big bosslady wants me to do a “work based learning qualification” which is essentially an apprenticeship but people seem to stray away from saying that cos it’s associated with people bordering on special needs learning a trade. If I can swing it that I can get a day off a week but do nothing extra other than fill in a form every so often saying what I’ve been upto, it sounds great - brownie points with the director, which will likely lead to a promotion, and more time off. However, if it turns out to be actual extra work, I’m not so keen. Anyone done one, as an adult?
    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Every single job in my department, above mine, says a degree or equivalent qualification is essential and I dropped out of uni after 4 days. Meanwhile the lad with a degree in graphic fucking design is considered a possible candidate.
    This seems to be working out well. Started a level 5 apprenticeship (dunno) in March and today got a call from my line manager asking me to apply for the job above mine, that states a degree is required. “Well, you’re working towards one so that counts.”

    Annoying but it seems like I’ve got a job on 50% more if I want it, right?
    Last edited by Baz; 30-06-2022 at 10:08 AM.
    I'm a twit

  8. #8008

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    It would appear so. My company tends to be the same, they like to promote from within so back us to go for any relevant training/qualification that may help with that. More companies should be like this; you know, favouring industry knowledge and expertise over a random Desmond from University of Whatever.

  9. #8009
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    BazBot elite slush fund.

  10. #8010
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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  11. #8011
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    I now work at the GMC. Please call in RL.

  12. #8012
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post

  13. #8013
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    We've hired a fucking Brazilian. I know it's about time they branched out from selling coke out of rickshaws, but still

  14. #8014
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Jesus, lad, glass houses and all. Or should that be tin ones with horses roaming around them.

  15. #8015
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Can you throw a stone at a cave?

  16. #8016
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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  17. #8017
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Is Reg not the Brighton fan?

  18. #8018
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Who is Brighton?

  19. #8019
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I had a minor seethe at somebody eating microwaved Chinese leftovers at their desk today, because our sub-office is windowless and what have you so it fucking stunk, and people thought it was just my usual epic banter. Why would anyone think that that is acceptable?

  20. #8020

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    We have a salmon offender so I can sympathise.

  21. #8021
    I used to be funny.
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    We've had a cod botherer in our office.

  22. #8022
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Brav there's a cost of living crisis, let the man eat for 10 mins and deal with the very temporary odour.

  23. #8023
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    He never stops eating. It's amazing. I'm a big lad and I can put it away, but he has my daily calories covered by half-eleven.

  24. #8024
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Ah fucking hell, not one of those gluttonous cunts. My misophonia is a real problem with these lot.

  25. #8025
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    We’re only allowed bring old stuff or buy it in the shop. No reheating. Just as it should be.

  26. #8026
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Is Reg not the Brighton fan?
    Reg is the Brighton based Man United fan, I'm the Brighton match going Liverpool fan.

  27. #8027
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Ah fucking hell, not one of those gluttonous cunts. My misophonia is a real problem with these lot.
    Most people are disgusted by the various noises that accompany the performance, but I find the fact he never drinks water most distressing. People lol at the amount I go through a day, but living purely on tea and Diet Coke is a world beyond me.

  28. #8028
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Assuming you are smashing through large volumes of it are you not up for a piss every 20 minutes?

  29. #8029
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Not quite that, but a lot yes.

  30. #8030
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Most people are disgusted by the various noises that accompany the performance, but I find the fact he never drinks water most distressing. People lol at the amount I go through a day, but living purely on tea and Diet Coke is a world beyond me.
    Treat yourself to an Air-Up bottle. They’re 650ml so plenty in them, the straw has a wide base so easy to drink fast (a pet peeve of mine when using regular straws) and you get a sense of flavour even though you’re drinking 100% pure water. Amazing thing.
    I'm a twit

  31. #8031
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Treat yourself to an Air-Up bottle. They’re 650ml so plenty in them, the straw has a wide base so easy to drink fast (a pet peeve of mine when using regular straws) and you get a sense of flavour even though you’re drinking 100% pure water. Amazing thing.
    Surprised there wasn't a referral link in there. Enter the code baz to save 10% off your first order. Or just drink squash like a normal person.

  32. #8032
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    This is the first I'm hearing of this Air-Up and, well that's got to be a new low for humanity. Frightening.

  33. #8033
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Squash.

  34. #8034
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I meant if you must have flavoured water, rather than a default option. Now I'm trying to be less of a fat cunt, my occasional glasses of Robinson's fruit and barley are genuinely a treat for me

  35. #8035
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Surprised there wasn't a referral link in there. Enter the code baz to save 10% off your first order. Or just drink squash like a normal person.
    I checked and they don't offer a referral scheme.

    And water is the healthiest thing on this earth. Why drink anything else, other than tea or beer? Air-Up isn't flavoured water, it's just water. But somehow you think you're drinking pop.
    I'm a twit

  36. #8036
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Water-drinking crew.

  37. #8037
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    High five h20 brothers.

  38. #8038
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Water doesn't need polluting it just needs to be cold.

  39. #8039
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Mix it with dihydrogen monoxide for the ultimate refreshment.
    I'm a twit

  40. #8040
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Flavoured water is on my 'sign of a wrong un' list, along with tinted glasses and white belts.

  41. #8041
    I used to be funny.
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    Ah, the Jim Jones trilogy.

  42. #8042
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Sparkling water is the worst form. Or anyone that owns a sodastream.

  43. #8043
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Sparkling water is brilliant.

  44. #8044
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I keep a keg of sparkling water on the go at all times. So handy.

  45. #8045
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Lol the trustees are visiting the office for two days of board meetings. There are plenty of conference rooms in the area they could have booked, but instead they've insisted on booking out the entire second floor of our office and doing it here. Bear in mind that there's only about 15 of them. Yesterday the instructions were that people were still allowed to use the canteen (also on the second floor) as long as people were really quiet (annoying enough as it is) but today an all office has gone around telling people they aren't allowed up there at all and that a microwave has been moved downstairs.

    When I heard the trustees had insisted on doing it in the office I assumed it was to meet members of staff and patronisingly pretend to show interest in our work, but if they didn't want to be disturbed by us plebs...er, maybe have the meeting not in a working fucking office lol. Melts.

  46. #8046
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    One of my favourite things that happens in our office is when the South Africans come over, the company orders in a big platter of fancy sandwiches etc for their lunch in the boardroom upstairs each day, and then at 4.30pm the leftovers are brought down to the sales office in case we're interested in a stale chicken and pesto focaccia, or a slime-green cannoli, to end the day.

  47. #8047
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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  48. #8048
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    One of my favourite things that happens in our office is when the South Africans come over, the company orders in a big platter of fancy sandwiches etc for their lunch in the boardroom upstairs each day, and then at 4.30pm the leftovers are brought down to the sales office in case we're interested in a stale chicken and pesto focaccia, or a slime-green cannoli, to end the day.
    I can't even imagine how tragic you would have to be to accept the crumbs from their table. Surely nobody actually takes anything?

  49. #8049
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Soldier View Post
    I now work at the GMC. Please call in RL.

  50. #8050
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I can't even imagine how tragic you would have to be to accept the crumbs from their table. Surely nobody actually takes anything?
    I've never done so, but there are those who will just take free food from whatever source.

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