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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #9051

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    I saw a part of Shanghai is going back into lockdown.

  2. #9052
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    How long have they been out of lockdown?

  3. #9053
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Did Shindig go on holiday?

  4. #9054
    I used to be funny.
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    First I've heard of it.

  5. #9055
    Junior Member Spav's Avatar
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    Why do people go to all the trouble of picking up their dog's shit in those thin plastic bags designed for that specific purpose, only to then dump the full bag somewhere else in the park or on the sidewalk instead of in a bin?

  6. #9056

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    They pick it up because other people are around and will call them out if they don't. Then they just toss it when no-one is looking. The worst type of person, because at least poo degrades, whereas a plastic bag hanging from the tree not so much.

  7. #9057
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    People seem to hang it from the rear windscreen wipers of [I've always assumed their own] cars over here.

  8. #9058
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spav View Post
    Why do people go to all the trouble of picking up their dog's shit in those thin plastic bags designed for that specific purpose, only to then dump the full bag somewhere else in the park or on the sidewalk instead of in a bin?
    Yeah, absolute cunts. Used to walk the dog on a field which backed onto a school field and there'd always be loads of bags of shit that people had picked up and then tied to the chain link school fence.

    The fuck is wrong with people.

  9. #9059
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Too many people get dogs without understanding what it means to have a dog. Same with kids.

  10. #9060
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Too many people have dogs full stop. There should be an exam or something you have to pass before having one.

  11. #9061
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    The leaving bags of dog shit thing seems to have been some concerted effort from the dog owners Union during some meeting in lockdown. I'm sure it didn't happen before then.

  12. #9062
    I used to be funny.
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    It's not that new a thing. Going through the parks, I see plenty of discarded bags. It's like they're blind to the red boxes.

  13. #9063
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Poor Postman.

  14. #9064
    I used to be funny.
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  15. #9065
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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  16. #9066
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Your eyesight might be failing, but your sense of smell would have to be worse than Taz's to not realise you'd just opened a bin full of dog shit.

  17. #9067
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    "Everyone likes lettuce" has got me again. Fuck you Tesco.

  18. #9068
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    This "first drink/last drink" bollocks.

    I was at a wedding this weekend just gone, they were all doing it. I'm at one this weekend coming up and they've already decided they're going to make a thing of doing it. I'm best man at that too so no doubt my participation will be expected. It certainly won't be forthcoming though.

    Life really was a lot simpler when you could drink yourself into a fucking stupor if you wanted to without some cunt trying to document everything for "laughs".

  19. #9069
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Seen a few of those floating around and I’ve a wedding in 3 weeks myself. Could be a good way for a lad to need a new phone.

  20. #9070
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Never heard of it. What is it?

  21. #9071
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Never heard of it. What is it?
    Everyone gets recorded saying this is their first drink when they first arrive, and then get recorded saying this is their last drink when they can’t speak at closing time. Then a mucho hilarious video gets made for Instagram reels and TikTok.

  22. #9072
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    After being at a couple of English weddings I didn’t think it was a thing there too seeing as everyone is tucked up in bed by 10pm.

  23. #9073
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Oh fuck me, what a load of shite.

  24. #9074
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Never heard of it. What is it?
    Some twat takes it upon themselves to record a short clip of you, fresh as a daisy, saying "I'm Spikey and this is my first drink of the day" when you are supping said drink, and then chases you down 8 hours later with the aim of capturing you with your shirt hanging out and your tie undone slurring your way through "I'm Spikey and this is my last drink of the day".

    Then they stick them all together side by side for everyone and makes a big video of it. "Banter".

  25. #9075

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    TikTok is a cancer.

  26. #9076
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    If it isn't on the Tok or for the gram, fun just isn't being had.

  27. #9077
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Social Media has been the making of Forced Fun culture and it's painful.

    I blame the Ice Bucket Challenge back in 2010 or whenever it was. That's right Motor Neuron sufferers, this shit is on you. Cunts.

  28. #9078
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Yeah, that sounds terrible.

    Lucky I mostly just go to funerals these days.

  29. #9079
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    That reminds me of drinking games and fancy dress. Anybody who needs to supplement drinking with random bollocks is most likely boring as fuck.

  30. #9080
    I used to be funny.
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    Stupid drinking stories are meant to be told, not recorded on video.

  31. #9081
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Yeah, that sounds terrible.

    Lucky I mostly just go to funerals these days.
    The ultimate game of first drink / last drink.

  32. #9082

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    I still drink in a pub where the majority of the clientele function on Carling and cocaine but the very positive trade off is you’d get your face caved in if you attempted any of that daft shit.

  33. #9083
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    The ultimate game of first drink / last drink.


    There must have been someone who has done this and ended up dead [likely later down the line but I'm open to a shorter time frame] so it's just a case of editing the first drink/open casket footage together really.

  34. #9084
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    That reminds me of drinking games and fancy dress. Anybody who needs to supplement drinking with random bollocks is most likely boring as fuck.
    Absolutely this.

  35. #9085
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    International drinking rules what what.

  36. #9086
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Rugby Lads - the sport, calm down Igor - are the worst people in the world.

  37. #9087
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Him as well.

  38. #9088
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I don’t mind those videos.

    Not really funny when it’s random strangers but if it was my mates/people I knew I reckon it’d be quite amusing.

    I’d hate it though. I don’t have any self control when I drink (thankfully not the only one in my group of friends, and The Reid is apparently a recent subscriber to this mentality) so my “last drink” video either wouldn’t exist cos I’d be awol, or it would be the most depressing footage since my last Documenting Reality binge.
    I'm a twit

  39. #9089
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    International drinking rules what what.
    Fuck me don't remind me, I remember me and a couple of mates meeting up with one of said mate's sisters and a couple of her mates when we were all in Edinburgh.

    Her mates were the absolute worst posh Rugby Lads (calm down Igor) and they spent about 5 minutes explaining the various rules we needed to follow to make our pints "more fun". I hated them, but I hated friend's sister more for choosing to hang out with such morons. Two of us tried to play along but the third of our party who was absolutely battered just went oh fuck off this is fucking stupid the third time they told him off for not holding the pint with his left hand and singing swing low sweet chariot or something, and they went off in a huff when the other two of us were like "well to be fair.."

    I think friend's sister still remembers that night as us being the cunts but she's wrong, so fuck her.

    It must run in their family tho cus I remember her brother once trying to round everyone up to his living room to play ring of fire or something once at like 1am at a house party and everyone just lolled at him and told him to fuck off. You'd just about understand during freshers with idiot teenagers who don't know eachother desperately trying to break the ice, but we were all like 23 and had known each other for years - mate, let me get on with throwing up, trying to get a dealer to come to rural Leicestershire and failing miserably to snog one of the few women here.
    Last edited by igor_balis; 13-06-2022 at 07:44 PM.

  40. #9090
    I used to be funny.
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    It's drinking, not fucking Weight Watchers.

  41. #9091
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Tbf I don't mind fancy dress when it's like an optional extra and it's not enforced or passive aggressively "encouraged".

    A married couple I know have a Eurovision party every year and it's usually a 50/50 split of costumes and no costumes, which is pretty good.

  42. #9092
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I was working a shift the other night and someone came up to me and said ‘yaw luk like one of dem yoootoobers. Do you have a youtoob channel’

  43. #9093
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    I was working a shift the other night and someone came up to me and said ‘yaw luk like one of dem yoootoobers. Do you have a youtoob channel’
    I'd love to see you try to do an enthusiastic "hey guys!"

  44. #9094
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    What’s up guys I’m phonics smash that like and subscribe.

  45. #9095
    I used to be funny.
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    "It really helps me out."

  46. #9096
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    TTH should do YouTube channel. Let's do a weekly panel show or maybe something like AFTV for big games. Imagine Giggles, Yev, James, Waff and RL arguing over everything, presented by Igor who'd switch between trying to keep the show on the road and telling his little stories.

  47. #9097
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    We should definitely have a football podcast. Jimmy as the host for his soothing tones. Randrew and James for the H2H and Yev because Yev.

  48. #9098
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    TTH should do YouTube channel. Let's do a weekly panel show or maybe something like AFTV for big games. Imagine Giggles, Yev, James, Waff and RL arguing over everything, presented by Igor who'd switch between trying to keep the show on the road and telling his little stories.
    It would just be all of them calling me a posh hairy cunt as I mute and kick everyone from the zoom call in a strop. Sounds class, I'm in.

  49. #9099
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    "Oh we've got a caller, okay Manc, what would you like to t..."

    "LYING CUNT, FUCKING BULLSH..."

    "Woah dunno what happened there guys! Reminds me of when I was hosting the bbc radio one breakfast show and..."

  50. #9100
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    With commuter trains getting back in vogue, we're back to paying outrageous sums for third-world service of being crammed in carriages but the sheer number of fuckheads who fail to give up a seat to older people is horrific. Proper gammon culture that, wouldn't see it in the biggest shithole of Islamic regions.

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