Just get a dog. Hedgehogs are shite pets.
Just get a dog. Hedgehogs are shite pets.
Security cam set up.
In other news, just been told the cunt that is wrecking the team is dying and will be off for 3 months.
Anyway got an interview on Wed.
Back in the office 2 days a week from next week.
I'm going to need Monkeypox to up it's game.
Captain Biltong strode into the office this morning, saw that everyone was in, and exclaimed: "Full haaas! It's grrrite to see iviryone in the offus! Hev a grrrite die!"
So motivational, haven't been this pumped up since the Sharpeville Massacre.
Covid Sally has gone through the roof. "Case numbers are really high again at the moment! Are they considering the vulnerable at all!?" You flew back from Cyprus 2 days ago love, stfu.
That's different, Spikey, international travel is a human right!!!
She's still going
Yes love, it's shit, but shut up. We had a good run, don't take the piss.
Do these people not realise how transparently fucking lazy/whatever they are?
I’m fully aware.
#closethepubs
I'm a twit
She's even tried "We're meant to be being more green. Think of all the unnecessary petrol we will be using. And the commute is going to cost a fortune!"
She appears to be just working her way through the big issues of the day until she finds one that will save her. I expect Sarah Everard and women's safety will come up at some point.
Assuming she is actually working at home (I don't know the situation), maybe she is worried about commuting costs (and maybe extra childcare costs?). I dunno. I'd be pissed off if I had to go back in.
She lives 20 minutes away and took the job when commuting was a requirement every day. Her children are adults and she has a flat she rents out as well as working. She's doing fine. She just doesn't want to go back to the office. And neither do I, but it is what it is, pointless pretending it's an unreasonable request from your employer.
I haven't been back in the pub since they reopened now that I think of it. Don't think I'd remember how to talk to people any more.
Spikey, stfu, she has valid points.
We've still not had a u-turn from the 3 days a week in the office policy but I have hope it goes down to 2 by winter.
Why do documents need sources and references so much. Someone asked me how many pharmacies provide a certain service, I replied with the list and he put them on a map. Is now coming back asking for the source. I’m your source, mate, the Contract Champion who awarded contracts to the 25 pharmacies I sent you a list of last week. Do you want a photo or will just my name suffice?
I'm a twit
I noticed on the way in this morning that the Russian sales manager has stuck a little Ukraine flag on his Mercedes-Benz. He is the craftiest fuck going. MI6 can't touch him.
Currently all the sales managers are on a big sales quarterly zoom call discussing strategy. The Arab's on the call, losing his shit every five minutes. I can see three of four of them from my desk. I didn't qualify. See how the next year goes.
Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 10-06-2022 at 10:03 AM.
There has been an almighty chimp out at work today because someone has given a customer their own bank details (as in the staff members own bank details) to set up a Standing Order. They've been suspended indefinitely but they're claiming it was an accident and they did it on autopilot.
They have to be telling the truth, right? Thinking you'd get away with that would be mental.
Funny shit either way. What an idiot.
I thought office jobs were meant to be boring? There's been some absolute gems on here recently.
We got told we needed to turn some work around quickly due to a developing situation and one guy's reaction was to just put his out of office on 'until further notice' and self cert himself on the sick
Some dude is trying to rearrange a training I was going to run before being ill last week. Good luck with that mate.
My shifts at this place revolve around praying that no one orders a doom bar because the lines absolutely fucked and the manager refuses to fix it or take it off sale so I just get beer nerds kicking off at me all day.
Sneak some cans into the fridge. Or is that a no go?
The sort of person who cares enough about Doom Bar to complain about the state of it are probably proper cask die hards who'd moan even harder if they thought you'd poured them a can or a bottle.
Craft beer drinkers are one thing but cask heads are the worst of the lot as far as bores go.
Yay, warm flat beer!
Doom Bar is OK, but it goes in the fridge. Warm beer is disgusting. I don't care if it's "meant to be".
Yep. Everything is better cold (except tea, derrrr)
I'm a twit
Without wanting to challenge the stereotype too much, warm beer isn't really a thing is it? It's just refrigerated versus 'cellar temperature' [which is meant to be reasonably cold as well] isn't it? That said, having no experience of cellars under pubs, they always look to me as if they'd be infernally hot places.
Whitstable Bay Pales and Broken Dream on the menu for me, although I've just been given two bags of crushed ice so maybe I'll have to go for something more exotic.
I can only go off this one but it’s absolutely fucking rank and a bit cold.
https://cask-marque.co.uk/beer-temperature/
Meant to be 10-14c apparently. That falls the wrong side of warm for me.
If it's not simmering it's too cold.
Yep. Cask ales usually come through at cellar temperature. Which is quite difficult considering the seasons of the year. All the fossils used to moan at me that it was too cold in the winter and too tepid in the summer. Bigger establishments probably regulate it better but in the village pub I worked in, it was just hammer the tap into the barrel and off we go.
I keep thinking about how Pepe believes that the water levels rising won't be a big issue for first world cities because #infrastructure, and I keep thinking about how he must not know about floods.
And he probably keeps thinking you're only a shirt grabbing hippy twat.
Water levels will rise if you don't scrap your car and "buy a Tesla!" Ask me bollocks, we won't be flooded any time soon. It's big big business.
I always think that if you're slapping defences down one place, you've got the potential to create a problem somewhere else. I haven't seen Durham flood in nearly a decade but I do wonder where that water winds up.
Aren't Dubai fucking all their neighbours by generating fake rain?
There is no problem. Well, apart from everything you've ever bought. It won't go obsolete soon (that model is gone now)to make you replace it, so we'll just call it bad for the environment so you'll have to buy replcements for it all. Climoney change - it's what makes the world turn round.
Electric cars!. God no, no lithium mining there. Just keep giving the rich man your money and we'll report it in a very basic way to make you look good. Wait what, you need electricity? Well at least that's free and won't add to the lithium mining..... Great for the planet those electric cars.
I won't be having kids while Pepe will have at least one (barring tragedy), so I've got him donned on the environmentalism front.
Correctly thinking the world is full of conmen and grifters talking shite to make money, and coming to the conclusion that biggest culprit is environmentalism is such a brilliantly insane take.
They were, making massive gravy train coin. Keeping cars for as long as we could have (among hundreds of other things) would have been a real step. But that doesn’t make rich people richer.
When all the earning goes out of climate change then I might believe it’s real. For now it’s a tech boom with a new angle.
What the fuck are you on about?
To be honest, the fact you’re disagreeing with me is something I’d wear around my neck with a sense of righteousness if I had a chain you big monopoly playing hippy twat.
Replies like that above are cheap as fuck and the mark of nothing. And a real danger of illiteracy.
Football fandom is so weird that I've seen Design opportunities that I've decided not to apply for jobs at Chelsea, Spurs and Man City purely because I don't want my job to revolve around celebrating their success.
There's a literal ban on petrol car sales a mere 8 years away. The electric market has to succeed.
Also, swallow your pride on that one, Phonics. Their success is your success.
Last edited by Shindig; 10-06-2022 at 09:28 PM.