Shag the entire office IMO sounds the best idea. Or go nuclear like I did and escalate to the CEO.
Shag the entire office IMO sounds the best idea. Or go nuclear like I did and escalate to the CEO.
At least lick their arseholes.
I didn't really escalate to the CEO. In my situation, I hope I can just move into a role where my boss isn't this much of an arse and be able to do what I'm paid to do. Banking corporate titles are very flat so if I went two levels up I'd be a managing director (which is pretty much the highest other than the board).
Junior Vice President.
I've just been lectured to by 50 year Vietnamese tax auditor about how it's super important that foreigners do the right thing in Vietnam, pay the right thing, stay on top of the law and behave respectfully and responsibly in this glorious country.
Which is all well and good if I hadn't just handed over a couple of grand "lunch money" to him.
He knows what you're up to.
Ł2000 lunch?? Alright kiko!!
A couple of grand [in dongs] is 7p.
No wonder they got rid of coins. Costs more to mint them.
When I had @igor_balis problem, I created the TTH knockout competition. Put some effort in and make a video WDYTOE or something.
I'm a twit
Follow this advice if you want to climb the ladder as high as Baz, @igor_balis.
I'll offer odds of 4/6 for Floyd winning the TTH knockout.
He won the last one but is it harder to win the double?
And more importantly, can he do it on a wet Wednesday night at Stoke?
An in-person TTH awards would be something. Can we get Tony Pulis to host?
The two roles I've gone in for are managed by two ex colleagues (indirectly). Hopefully they don't remember that I'm a knob.
I've just had the MD legitimately moaning at me and another guy that we're putting too many orders through, and it's not leaving any warehouse capacity for others.
Just sat there and shrugged. You employ me to work in sales, mate. Too many orders. Black is white, up is down, the Arab speaks fluent English and never makes anything needlessly dramatic. Not sure where to go from here.
So he wants you to work less? Mega, get that in writing.
Did you not just tell him to get more warehouse staff then?
Rip Jimmy. Hopefully Korea will take you back.
I was in an hour long Teams thing earlier where two people were explaining their roles and future marketing plans (more for the benefit of two totally new starters, but I'm new to the role so I think they thought fuck it Igor can come along too).
It wasn't an interactive thing though , just listening to the two people talk. I dunno if it's bad Teams etiquette, but I almost instantly turned my camera off. I couldn't think of anything worse than having to look attentive for an hour straight, smiling and nodding at appropriate times. Wow that's a really interesting story, nice one.
They all thought you went for a wank.
And probably weren’t wrong.
At the weekend I was eating with a few people, one of whose steaks was taking ages to arrive. For some reason I delivered the gag 'The chef's still waiting for the cow to finish sucking him off' and as the words left my lips, I swear to you that igor's avatar appeared to me on the restaurant wall, like that thing in Belshazzar's Feast. No one laughed, two people said: 'Erm, are you feeling ok?' and I was forced to admit that I probably wasn't.
So, yeah, phwoar.
On the ropes, lad.
First day back at work for a fortnight and it looks like the new faces have had no impact. We'll probably have overtime on at the weekend. Also I remembered all my passwords. Working late in the office on Thursday, though. I'd be mad about that but it does get me out of babysitting.
Top Tip for Teams and Zoom and whatever else: Pretend you couldn't connect and just phone in instead.
My laptop is docked behind my monitors, a ready made out I figured out day 1 of WFH.
RIP Jimmy. Phwoar.
A bloke at my work has just got back from holiday. He went to Iran. Didn't know it was such a tourist hotspot for white folk.
What is he, a nuclear inspector? Gahahahahahah
Is he known to MI5?
He is now. He left his personal laptop at work in case the Iranians confiscated it. I thought he must have been going because his bird was there or something, but no, he just fancied it. Peculiar fella.
Sounds like an oddball, Benidorm must have some good rates rn.
I make notes for myself for most meetings I attend, with the thought that only I’ll ever see them.
Turns out Office 365 has been recognising the title matches the name of the meeting and sending my notes to all other attendees, cos they’re saved on a “share point.”
Fucking hell, hopefully nothing bad comes of it. Hopefully Sam from Bolton isn’t offended by my “Sam (female, I think)” note from last week.
I'm a twit
The pen is mightier than the all seeing eye.
I'd rather go to Iran than most hotspots like Turkey or Egypt. Where's your sense of adventure?
This afternoon we were whisked to the local posh golf club for the old man's 'Retirement Do', i.e. just sold the company for 12 million quid celebration party. It was one of those things where pretty much every sentence in the speeches could be being said about a dead man, even though he was standing right there.
The MD started, thanking everyone for being there and eulogising about the old man's achievements over his 60 year career. As a joke he mentioned when he had first joined the company and the old man had ticked him off for going to the pub at lunchtime. People laughed, and then someone (probably warehouse) shouted from the back: "Sounds like you've had a few too many today, mate!" It didn't really work, as the MD didn't sound drunk at all, not to mention the minor faux pas of shouting such a line at the company's managing director in front of the whole company on what was meant to be a jovial/sentimental occasion. I suppose if you're going to go out, go out with a bang.
Anyway, after the speeches and the giving of the traditional crap retirement gift of a glass box with an engine drawn on it, it was time for the 'mingling' bit. I absolutely cannot stand mingling - I'm good to give speeches to 100+ people, but small talk with two people gives me anxiety shivers. We had been given express instructions to each go up to the old man at some point and thank him personally. Eventually I found my window to do this, and approached him to shake his hand and say thanks for the opportunity.
"How long have you been with the company?" he asked.
"Just over four years," I said.
"Oh," he said. "I was there for twenty-nine years."
And with that, he turned away and disappeared into history.
This the same bloke who told you to stop selling so much?