adamski - Has he come out of nowhere (FM sections)? Was he around before? Does he actually know Seal? Whatever his origins, he seems alright [for a Jock]. He must have caught the eye if he managed to get a slot on this drastically reduced list. Especially in replacing AD at the top of the list, which means a) I don't have to call him a shit for keeping us updated on his running knobrot problems; b) He will learn from that.
Yeah. We'll see how this one pans out.
Adramelch - I normally make a crack about the Germans running his country, and reference the fact he is an engineer, but where do you do go from there? He has moved to Spain, which... Well. It's in better shape than Greece.
AE - His dramatic improvement has probably made people forget just how crap he was when he got here, so credit where it's due there.
That said, I think people were sucking his [massive black] cock a bit too much when he was looking to get into the MLS. It's an achievement, I know; but like I said at the time, Luca is Luca every minute of every day. He would probably be a better bet for free merchandise as well, provided you wouldn't mind walking around in a 'DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MY FATHER EARNS?!' jumper. I've got one of his special edition Jimmy Hart-style jackets with a big picture of his face on the back.
Alan Shearer The 2nd - If you're punting people who contribute nothing, Draper, what kept him here?
Alex - Similarly, I'm sure Alex does contribute, but not really on things I read.
Andy - Provides a handy (Arf) Southampton perspective, as well as knowledge of all things DIY, but has never really maintained the form that saw him surprisingly heralded as TTH's Number One Prospective Drinking Partner (That this seemed to coincide with his borderline alcoholism can't have helped). This isn't really his fault as such, since as I said last year, a return to prominence 'would need his business and/or relationship to fail'. Priorities.
Apples - Yeah, he's alright. Had a whinge about the NRL a while back because they don't wear tight enough shorts and cute little vests, but that comes down to him being from the pointless bit f Australia. So, like I say... He's alright. Not bad. He's got that wedding coming up, hasn't he? That should be, you know... Should be a decent day ou...
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Bamster - He posts about once a week now. Twat (Forum legend).
Benny - He's decent. He doesn't get any better. He doesn't get any worse. What can I really say without having to mention Lofty? He fancies 'Daws'. There is that, I suppose. He doesn't want what you want, mate. I'm sure he enjoys your Saturdays together, but he's got Tinder and a pile of bailout money. If you insist on keeping at it, just play it cool. PM Mert for advice.
Boydy - Did anybody else find him a bit snarky when he came back? He obviously sees us as a last resort, as opposed to what everybody else sees the board as - a constant in their lives, but there was a bit of an attitude to his last visit. I know he's miserable, and I wouldn't be surprised if GS was using his new-found social confidence to natter him about a meet, but still.
Byron - Wasn't he meant to be leaving Norwich? Has that fallen through? Me and Randrew find it a bit of a ballache having to keep our regular cinema trips and pub crawls secret and 'off board' in case he invites himself, so the move can't come soon enough as far as we're concerned.
He gets better, Bryon. He was good, but there was still a residual FM Sections feel to his posting. Now, not so much, and he resembles more of a crap Floyd than a decent IJ.
Captain Trips - I'm not sure I understood the point of his post in this thread. He says he doesn't care enough to remember us all, and also that he doesn't care enough to know what he thinks of us. Whilst I'm sure that would impress in some circles, doesn't it just make him look a bit stupid? Is he incapable of forming some loose memories and impressions if only through routine? He must at least remember Spoonsky, because he is the only other person who knows who Columbus Crew is (Rapper?).
Just admit you love the place, Warhammer, and we'll appreciate you.
cearles - This idiot can fuck off. Isn't he still posting about FM somewhere? Is he doing a Tommo and devoting his tight t-shirt wearing time to climbing that greasy pole (Not Mahow)?
chaodck - He seems alright. I called him Pinochet once and he got the arse. This maybe isn't the time and place for it, but the General is the reason you've got a decent life and the internet. Do we have any Cuban posters? No. That's the way it was going in 1973.
Like I say, alright. I wouldn't mind seeing some proof of age, mind. He looks a good forty. Maybe his life has been hard. Maybe he was imprisoned as a child? I can see why he might object to pro-Pinochet sentiment if that was indeed the case. Although if he cooks with a
parrilla then all bets are off.
Charlie - I like Molton. I really do. I called him a 'waster' in the previous list, but I reckon we would get on 'IRL'. His posting style has become a bit annoying though. It's really breathless, and completely without structure, like a shocked woman recounting a mugging. It might partly owe itself to posting from a phone or whatever, or he could just be going stupid like every other Chinese person. Whatever it is, sort it out.
Chinny Hill - What a year Chinny has had. UKIP winning whatever it was, plucky City winning the title, continuing to don Mahow senseless across several threads at once... The dickhead was in Manchester in the last day when he said he was going to be in Belgium, mind. We could have had that party, you MASSIVE wanker.
Chrissy - You're alright, mate. Like a house-trained Lofty, in many respects. The problem with your act, though, mate - and I speak as the Funniest Poster here - is that you're just telling jokes. Scotland doesn't need another comedian going on about 'jakes' and expecting everybody to imagine their own punchline after the mere mention of Glasgow. Not when the Sebo Comedy Roadshow can go from zero-genocide in three posts. No. What Scotland needs is somebody to hold a mirror up to its failings as a society. Talk about shitting the bed. Challenge the crowd and its perceptions of appropriate adult behaviour.
I'm not happy with 'total cunt'.
CJ - You want to lob those cats in a ditch.
Corduroy - I called him a 'moaner' in the previous list, as well as suggesting that without the constant moaning he would become a 'lesser Webly'. I reckon that still holds up. I also think he tries a bit hard; but then some idiots (Real, weapons-grade idiocy) say the same thing about me, so clearly it's difficult to accurately judge whether somebody is trying too hard or not. In light of that, I'll just stick to saying he's overrated.
Danny - How does he stay on the list when more worthy people get chucked?
Dark Soldier - He only posts about films these days, so meh.
Davgooner - I warned last year that he was in danger of 'appear[ing] more miserable and stick-up-arse than he actually is'. Well, old Dave, the don, has just about managed to disappear completely up his own anus. I know we haven't had many war things to talk about, but you need to know that you're settling and becoming irritable. Do you want to be TEG?
Demerit - Yet again, alright, but I feel he's a bit too pleased with himself. He comes across as the type of person they get on The Apprentice talking about how he could sell soap to gypos, only to crash and burn when Lord Sugar objects to his anti-Semitic ideas. The nation needs the housing market to tank dramatically, so perhaps he'll be swallowed up by that.
diljeet - What is the point of him?
Dj_Luca - I'm running out of things to say about Luca, so I'll just suggest that he drops 'Dj' from his username instead.
eltharion_doa - I've heard some people calling him a poor man's niko.
Fandan - He needs to post more about his life that doesn't relate to shift patterns, beer, or American cities. Maybe get right into the sectarian side of football support?
Five Time - I keep having to resort to 'alright', which could be a thread in itself, but what can I do? Likes rasslin', is a Liverpool bitter... Alright.
Foe - Foe has got it sorted. If he finds a way to effectively dodge much of his tax bill in future, then I'll consider naming something after him.
FrancisWalsh - Fran the Man. I like to imagine him bowling around in a now oversized leather jacket NOT GIVING A FUCK.
Fry Crayola - Not bad, although Ital has got much of it covered.
Hammerstein - I like Hammerstein. Like Draper said, he makes the effort. However, at the same time, he can be a bit of a tart. It must be the teacher thing.
Harold Bishop - It's getting desperate now. He must realise he completely flops in most debates. I understand that he has to keep right on and pretend otherwise, claiming non-existent victories, but fucking hell. It's the same pattern every time as well.
1. Make a broad statement based on ignorance.
2. Respond to criticism with skim-read links that often go against the original point.
3. Attempt to refine or alter the original point.
4. Throw a load of unrelated nonsense into the equation whilst splitting responses into different debates.
5. Maintain he was right all along and/or suggest alternative definitions of well-known words and concepts.
6. Claim victory when the other person hangs themself.
As I say, it's getting desperate now. He used to at least enjoy the board and have a lol. Now he actually tries to stop other people doing the same. What is in it for him?
Henry - He's phoning it in these days, but he's still worth reading on everything (Maybe not football), and his half-arsedness lends itself to covering things in a more concise manner than I'm often capable of.
hydrocephalus - I reckon he has found a nice groove between New James' fragile coping-mechanism shitness and Old James' uselessness, which will no doubt serve him as well in real life as it does here.
Ian - The biggest tribute I can pay to Webleck is that he is like the poster Mahow was (Albeit with substantially less activity). He forms a critical part of what you might describe as the TTH rhythm section. It's not all about Harvey Yevrah and Lofty. Fucking imagine that. This sort of description does him a disservice, really, since it suggests he is average. He knows what I mean (If he doesn't, then fuck him he contributes nothing).
ItalAussie - Our issues seem to have all but vanished (What a pleasant chat we had on Wednesday), since there hasn't been anything to KICK OFF about in a while, the odd shitty little warning aside.
I've just seen GS single him out as a Wikibasher, which... Come on. I've said in the past that things tend to be filtered through a technocratic worldview (I would say he is less patronising now, but that might be due to me being less inclined to read his posts as patronising, since I'm no longer 'against' him), but let's not begin to entertain the idea that he isn't the smartest guy in the room. This is in danger of becoming a love-in, so moving on...
Jimmy Floyd - Fuck. I think we've covered it all before, but to give a new idea of how good Floyd is: I read the cricket thread so I can see what he thinks about things I don't actually care about.
You need a purpose, mate.
John - Good old John. I like the way John looks at things. It's probably quite difficult to explain, but, like me, he often manages to work out whether somebody is a pervert reasonably quickly. It's an important life skill, those that don't have it, as he would tell you himself. This all means he posts, and also shares PM lols with me, in a way that I find both amusing and interesting.
Joh_Narne - 7om has made him a bit pointless in terms of picking people you would want to take to a hypothetical new board, since he has the seedy Asian angle covered, but he still does a decent job of trundling along as a slightly questionable weirdo. He is, however, a Liverpool bitter, which is a shame.
Kikσ - 'Daws' is better than he has ever been at the minute, the Top Red, 'ITK', lol-producing, Benny friendzoning, Square Mile LAD. When I'm waiting for trains at Liverpool Street I often mooch to the open bit at the back of it and watch the braces brigade talking shit over eight pound pints. Whilst doing so, I occasionally try to imagine 'Daws' doing his best to keep up without accidentally describing something as 'bob on', or demanding to know 'Who is and who isn't?'
kizmarlo - Whoever it was - some loser - that said earlier that he hasn't quite got into the TTH swing of things is probably right (Just admit you seethe, mate). I can see how it might prove difficult to BANTER about Wales because, realistically, what can he possibly say back? That Scafell Pike isn't very tall?
I'm sure he'll find a way around it eventually, because, lest we forget, he does appear to be quite a resourceful geezer. In the Forces, cabbaged out of that, now he runs a hostel for easily-offended wankers. And this despite the weekly heart attacks. Come at him, bro. This time next year he will be Webly-like in stature.
Laurent Robert - I like LR. He looks like Sid the Sexist, but he gets on with it. His life sounds properly shit, but he doesn't moan all that much. Perhaps because he knows anything is better than Wales (OH SORRY KIZ) and his shit dog (It's a shit dog, lads). What am I even on about? It's one o'clock. Decent poster. Good lad. I said I would be his mate in the previous list, and, in spite of what 'Daws' has been telling me, I reckon I would stand by that.
LeeCovFox - In July, 2012, I said 'I've noticed a few people associating him with "stories in the Relationship Thread"... which should worry him'. In May, 20013, I congratulated him on becoming 'the resident dirty old man' instead. It's a mixed bag thus far. One list said you've 'gone from funny pervert to middle aged man', which suggests you're boring; the other praises your 'pervy edge'. Well done on that.
Harvey Yevrah, who I previously compared him too, recently said that Fox has the highest quality post ratio of us all. He is probably the fourth best poster these days, behind Floyd, motivated GS, and that lad who always wins the cup, so there may be something in that. He's still wasting his time in the NHS, mind.
LeedsRevolution - Not the wank he used to be, which is something.
Lewis - Five time! Five time! Five time! Five time! Five time!
Lofty - You know, to say it's often said I read the board better than most, I had never given much thought to what GS said about him actually being a big soft twat. I think he might have got that bang on. Aww. Mate. I'm not even going to call him a disgrace, or question where that UKIP MELTDOWN from the other day emerged from, lest it upset him even more, so we'll just focus on the positives...
Luke Emia - That hip business was a bit distressing. But like I said at the time, would he rather have Crohn's disease? Anyway, I think Luke deserves credit for being one of the more level-headed Liverpool fans around. Their might be something in the idea of proximity to Liverpool itself being an important factor in that, since niko and GS have water between them and the city, where as Joh_Narne claims to be from near it, and Smiffy plays up his Liverpool connections. Taz is the outlier, but we can explain him away by saying Muslims just buy into fanaticism generally.
m1j1browning - Why hasn't he changed his name to 'Browning' yet? If he did that people would recognise him more, rather than assuming it's just some spambot who hates rasslin'. There is no excuse not to go through with it.
Magic Johnson - It's nice to have him back.
Mahow - I called him 'shite' in the previous list. Whilst still true, I feel I ought to be more constructive this time round, so here is a list of suggestions:
1. Stop saying 'My word'.
2. Stop moaning about things that are your fault.
3. Support England in international football, you piece of shit.
And so on. On top of those, try talking less about food. Webly has got that covered, and he doesn't have the general nonce vibe that you seem to have acquired (It's a touchy-feely post-MELTDOWN thing), so I would be more likely to trust his cooking.
manc sean - He can't be that much busier than he was.
MartinSAFC - He's a decent poster, Martin, but there is something about his infrequent activity that leaves his posting style in 2008. It's all italicised names and earnestness.
Max Power - Maybe he is 'Lauren'?
Mellin - He was a quality poster, but now he barely posts. It's worth having him pop in once a week, mind, because it acts as a lingering threat to keep Zimidy in line.
mert - I don't really understand Mert, even though I seem to be his only fan. He is right to say that people just write him off as a twat as a matter of course, which obviously results from growing up here (I think he would tell you himself he was quite dependent on the place during a crucial period in his life) and filling the board with seventeen year old grief; but at the same time, I don't know why he tries too hard. I said in the previous list that he clearly isn't stupid, yet he appears a bit desperate to prove how intelligent he is. If he just calmed down and took a slightly more reasonable approach to debating liberal filth, then people would find it harder to ignore his points. I tend to agree with a fair bit of what he says, but he puts it across like a press release.
There is also the whole sociopath thing (I think he has most people figured out, even if putting it down to them being sex-starved might not be accurate), but then Taz is as bad in his pretend way.
mf_phonics - He does seem to spaz from mood to mood, but it's still good having him here. He ought to have a posh boy contest with Floyd and Demerit. It would be up to the judges whether his oversized headphones and probably suspect hygiene are advantages or disadvantages. You're not a left winger, mate. It doesn't matter how many black people you've met.
Mike - He's alright, Mike. I don't think it would be too devastating if we lost him, but he's a happy chappy.
Minister De la Funk - Posts about once a month.
Multi - Multeh, my man. He's the second best foreigner these days behind Pepe, which actually isn't that much of an achievement, but he should still be proud of himself because he posts solidly over a number of subjects and just seems to be a bit of a geezer.
Nick - I repped him the other day, so there you go. Decent man (And he is a man, because he's about thirty-six).
nickfootie5 - Yeah, I said before that he was better than Benny at putting Tobias' Head on things. He just doesn't do it as much. Quality over quantity (Ironic that Benny should breach that rule with pictures of Lofty, whose life proves it). Again, solid poster, and could potentially join phonics in the posh off if he revealed more about his life.
niko_cee - Bit of a geezer, niko, for an international man of mystery. Not only because he stops me talking to myself about rugby on Friday mornings (Although my 'Tooves' question has gone unanswered, wanker), but because he covers all bases with sustained quality. Not unlike a rich man's elth, as some people have suggested.
Offshore Toon - Me and thee could be big mates IRL. Well, if we didn't piss each other off. Whatever, he is a quality poster when he is around and bothering.
Okay_Amigo - Mate.
P_3 - Not bad, P_3. He gets drowned out in the Liverpool, erm... I can't say crowd... Even 'white noise' might breach their equality guidelines.
Palmer - Alright(!).
Panda Bear - Get this: He should post more. Yes. Really.
Pen - I did the voice gag last time, so I'll just leave you all with the image of him shuffling around Finland teary-eyed looking for opportunities to describe something as 'bob on', and demanding to know 'Who is and who isn't?
Pepe - The lists we've seen thus far really aren't doing Pepe justice. Draper said he is 'pretty funny', having only just realised; GS called him a 'mascot' without purpose; Chrissy (What the fuck was that list about?) called him 'good'; and Randy called him 'background noise'. Townsend called him a 'top lad', to be fair to him, but he's off his head.
You all need to realise that he is absolute class. That's not even tokenism. I'm not seeking desperately to present him as an example of a foreigner who isn't crap. He is a top, top poster. He brings the lols, he makes good points beneath the supposed negativity everybody has mentioned (He is seriously clever, after all), and he gets the tone bang on. I don't make a habit of championing foreign idiots, so I'm dead right here.
Pleb - He's alright, but how did he stay on the reduced list when Pards - fucking Pards - got thrown out? A WDYTOE without him is just nothing.
Randomlegend - Yeah, I think we should get 'Randy' off the ground now. 'Randrew' is a bit of an effort.
I don't know what to say, really. I see him most weeks to gossip about Bryon and that, so it's obvious that I like the hollowed out shell of a boy. His worth goes up and down, depending on how often he is posting and whether he is crying about things, but he values the community.
Raoul Duke - I think he is better now he doesn't have to live up to being underrated. So cheers, 'cord', you dog-booting twonk, you've liberated him and given him a new impetus.
Regista - Now that he appears to have fixture list threads locked down, he ought to work on really making them his own. Maybe insert some clever jokes? What about changing the team names like Floyd tried to do? He tends to make a few wacky points on football more generally, so he could be a wrong'un. I also suspect him of being foreign, or at least a homosexual.
Apart from that, he's pretty decent.
Reiver - Pinochet has taken his job.
Rocchi - He doesn't seem to like me. I don't know why.
ScousePig - I don't want to just say 'See: Webly', but I'm getting seriously bored of this now. In the previous list I suggested that he start a feud with him, so maybe look into that.
sergeantdisco - I like to think of 'disco as Shindig after ten years' worth of better decisions. He has a similar sense of humour and approach to lol-making, which, combined with his rugby interests, make him a good poster.
Serpent Gazeux - Top, top bloke, GS. It's good that he BOTTLED leaving, and has subsequently embraced his role as the go-to-bloke in the organisation, because being a bloke moping around with the rest of the blokes looking for jobs would probably have been the end of him as a bloke. It's also good that he met a few of the blokes off the forum, who could confirm he is a real bloke, and I don't even know where I'm going with this other than trying to keep saying bloke. It's a bit of a bloken record, I imagine.
Mega poster.
Shindig - Legend.
Simon. - Is he that Dion Dublin guy, or was that SD?
SincereTheRebel - He isn't terrible anymore, but he isn't any good either. He should also go back to Haiti, which he told me he was doing a couple of years ago.
Smiff - I feel that I should say I take no pleasure in calling him a twat, lest anybody think I actively dislike him. I do so in football discussions because, regardless of everything else, he talks absolute shit. It's a messageboard and he can't do anything to me. Therefore, it would be great for him if he could sort his life out.
I just happen to believe that his 'problems' are all his own fault, because - and this could be for various reasons - he is a weak individual who can't function under any burden of responsibility. As I say, I don't know why that is. It could be anything. But doing something, fucking it up, crying to TTH, and then doing it again isn't going to sort it out. Nor is everybody wiping his arse for him when he does so. Being the only person willing to [openly] suggest this doesn't make me a wannabe murderer or an exceptional shithouse.
And for the record, I would batter him.
Snapman - I find it all slightly contrived, even if it does raise a smirk now and again.
Snazz - If it is Baz, why can't he just use his own account? He's good with the new one.
SpokesmaN - Waffelz seems to have taken over the bitter Rangers obsession, so sorry mate.
Spoonsky - Like I said last time, I don't see how he is any more transparent in his attempts to fit in than anybody else. It's just that he's American, and is therefore two steps behind in lols and point of reference.
Whether you agree with that or not, it would be hard to deny that he is a quality poster. And only thirteen as well. I would like to live near him, and then he could come over and watch old films whilst moaning about his family and shit mates. I could feed him chocolate as well, which he's probably not allowed at home. It would be like
Leon, except he probably wouldn't fancy me.
SvN - It's kind of annoying that I think SvN is so good and can't provide any reason why. Maybe he should post a picture of his bald head and tell us more about himself.
Taz - He ought to tone down the parody act, but I'll take him as he is if he isn't willing to. He did solid service to the pro-Moyes cause, we share a deep respect of Carlos Queiroz, and he does have a good way of mocking people.
The Merse - He's good, Merse. Still a bit gay, but I like reading his rugby posts and general autism spectrum take on things.
7om - The already quality, but still ever-improving, seven-oh-em is like a [much] younger Fox. The same sort of humour and tone, not yet as serious business because he hasn't had to confront the ageing process, a dirty sad act (Seriously, Google provides 'linkage', you dweeb), supports a crap Midlands football team, and works in a general health area. The only difference is that he works hard.
Toby - He was one of the top posters, but now he just dips in to somehow out-bore Sebo in the Jock thread (They're too reasonable). Chuck the beard, move back to somewhere with proper computers, and put GS back in his box. I was going to try and cram a reference to him into every entry, since he once said I talk about him too much, but it was too hard. #TeamTobias #Topbloke
Townsend - He was pretty good before, so I'm not sure what he's been doing. It's lol, yes, and I'll happily encourage it; but it's not all that sustainable.
Trancemeister - Wasn't there something about a gimp mask?
Vercetti -
Vim - Decent lad, Vim. It will be interesting to see what he does over the next few years (Not interesting as in of interest, but you know what I mean).
Waffelz - I like Wafflolz, but he needs to be less bandwagon-happy. Pick something and stick with it. You can't help lead Team Cristiano and then throw your weight behind 'Atleti'. Similarly, you can't fight for the Cenation and then start fudding yourself over that tramp he's going to annihilate tomorrow.
Weaver - The Weaver contributes these days, which is something.
Wullie - He's basically in semi-retirement these days, but hopefully he posts a bit more during the World Cup.
Yevrah - Now that he's settled down and accepted the Lew World Order (I much prefer that), things are better between us. And so they should be, because there is nothing to be gained from such tension. I should be able to question his going BALLS DEEP in something without it looking suspect, just as I should be able to appreciate him as the fifth best poster.
Zimidy - He's a bit useless when it comes to [The] Villa, but I appreciate his lolling and attitude. His joke about Belgian footballers was amazing, and I nicked it for 'IRL' use.
P.S. You're a beast, Lofty.