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Thread: Things you believe you could do but have no basis

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Things you believe you could do but have no basis

    Thread title got cut off, should have been:
    "Things you believe you could but have no basis for that belief"

    Prompted by the pilot/flying talk in the twitter thread. I reckon I could fly a plane. How hard can it be? Just waggle that joystick thing around to control it. I've flown planes in videogames, it's probably not that different.

    What do you unrealistically think you could do?

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    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Eat the hottest chilli in the world without flinching

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I reckon I could survive a round with Tyson Fury.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I reckon I could survive a round with Tyson Fury.
    Cause your head's so small he wouldn't be able to hit it?

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    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Thread title got cut off, should have been:
    Prompted by the pilot/flying talk in the twitter thread. I reckon I could fly a plane. How hard can it be? Just waggle that joystick thing around to control it. I've flown planes in videogames, it's probably not that different.
    I've watched plenty of pilots playing flight sims on youtube and the amount of stuff they do in the cockpit is mind-blowing.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Cause your head's so small he wouldn't be able to hit it?
    Good point.

    Let me revise:

    I reckon I could beat Tyson Fury on points in Olympic Boxing.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Whenever I watch clips of football from the fifties I wonder how hard it would have been for me to have played as a full-back or something to a professional level. Not for England or anything, but earning a living from it. I might have to improve my fitness, but I would be bigger and stronger than basically everybody, which I would be allowed to use to full effect, and not expected to do anything but defend and hoof it forward. Rugby the same. Some of the all-time greats from back in the day, who were big men for their time running over half-starved, balding thirty year old manlets, would be small in the modern game.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I reckon I could run quite a lot of businesses with a fair degree of competence. I'd need someone to explain financials to me, but on the management and organisational side of things I think I'd do a pretty solid job once I'd learned the context.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Using the grandparent rule, I could play for Antigua. I'm absolute dog shit, but so are they. I wonder how far away from the team I'd be.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I reckon I could run quite a lot of businesses with a fair degree of competence. I'd need someone to explain financials to me, but on the management and organisational side of things I think I'd do a pretty solid job once I'd learned the context.
    I feel like I could run Coca-Cola (as in sitting in the big chair) easier than I could run a market stall or random shop. How hard can it be? People aren't going to stop buying it.

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    I used to be funny.
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    I could probably become a sizable celebrity in Japan for no apparent reason.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    "Entwodoocing, de man who no waash he hands..."


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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Mr Shakey-Eye Man.

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    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Poor Shinners.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I could definitely fly a Cessna, no problem. A commercial jet though? Wouldn't even know how to start the thing.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I would make an excellent lawyer/judge.

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    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    I could could easily run Queensland as its own Nation State.

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I could probably become a sizable celebrity in Japan for no apparent reason.
    This was always my back up plan if my life went to shit, that or professional wrestler.

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    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Please a woman.

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    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I still would like to think if I had been able to get into an academy when I was younger, I could have been a decent levelled footballer.

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    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    "I had trials once".

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I love the 'I had trials' crowd (know it from cricket but presumably it's the same phenomenon in football). After a while you learn to spot the bluffers and spot the good players before you've even seen them, mostly because the latter tend to play themselves down.

    The surest sign of a bluffer is someone listing famous names they have played 'with'. Doesn't mean you're any good, does it mate.

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    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    The surest sign of a bluffer is someone listing famous names they have played 'with'. Doesn't mean you're any good, does it mate.
    I mean, I've played rugby with James Roby; Super League's greatest ever play. Safe to say I'm kinda like a big deal.
    I'm a twit

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Woah when?

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    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Sama told me he played against Gareth Bale and he wasn't very good.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Gareth Bale has had the weirdest career. Less a bell curve, more a Matterhorn.

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    I used to be funny.
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    One of my mates had a trial with Carlisle. He looked a decent keeper at school but never had the mentality.

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    My mate was a youth player at Man City and Blackburn, turning pro at the latter. Said his career highlight was clattering Jermaine Pennant in a FA Youth Cup match and Wenger going mad at him

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    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    I've been playing a bit of 7 a side with a couple of guys who have played around Lowland League level recently and the extent to which they boss proceedings is absolutely ridiculous.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Literally every kid at my school "had trials" with their favourite club.

    The one kid that genuinely did was very close to getting a contract at Arsenal, before falling in with the wrong crowd, pissing the opportunity away and choosing a drug addiction instead. Good choice lad.

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    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Would I have made it as a prem player if I wasn't overlooked by the institutional racism and the system's lack of belief that I could have a late growth spurt to reach a towering 5ft 8? Probably but who's to say.

    But I did say Mark Randall was shite from the moment that drunk Arsenal scout set eyes on him.

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    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Literally every kid at my school "had trials" with their favourite club.

    The one kid that genuinely did was very close to getting a contract at Arsenal, before falling in with the wrong crowd, pissing the opportunity away and choosing a drug addiction instead. Good choice lad.
    Jersey is full of stories like that. 16 year olds sneaking out of their accommodation to get pissed. Absolute morons.

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    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by -james- View Post
    I've been playing a bit of 7 a side with a couple of guys who have played around Lowland League level recently and the extent to which they boss proceedings is absolutely ridiculous.
    Aye. When I still used to play seven-a-side (we're talking ten years ago here) one of our mates was occasionally turning out for the local side who were, at the time, I think maybe the level below the Conference North/South and the ease with which he dictated the game if you gave him any slack at all was scary.

    And that is like, what, the seventh tier in the English league pyramid or something? It really put in perspective how good you must have to be to even get a sniff at an actual professional football career.

    Chris Kamara used to play on the bigger pitch next to us with his mates so presumably they experienced this, as a group middle aged men, to a much greater degree than us. They would all turn up on the dot to get going and he would have already been there half an hour warming up and stuff. He wasn't messing around.

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    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Unbelievable.

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    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    I reckon I could write and direct a tv show worth millions. Doesn’t really seem that hard.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Wrong account Yev.

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    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    In all seriousness I used to think I could make it to the Finnish top flight if I would just get into a better physical shape when I was around 18. Those thoughts have faded since and it’s fun to think back how much I was overestimating my limited skillset.

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    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Woah when?
    Like 1995-1999.
    I'm a twit

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    That's like the St Helens equivalent of being at school with John Lennon.

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Yeah my ex-pro mate is like that, clearly amazing if he bothers to crank it up. The amount of power he generates in shots with seemingly no effort is mad, people actively get out of the way

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    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    That's like the St Helens equivalent of being at school with John Lennon.
    He returned my bike when it was stolen and left on the front. Means I could definitely play super league.

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    I used to think I was a decent player, but that’s all I was - a decent player at youth level. I’d never have been a pro of any distinction but I should’ve been a “pro” in a under 19s team but for a coach change 3 months before decisions made.

    We played elevens indoor when a group of us were all home from mid way through uni and one of their pals, who was 3-4 or so years below me and had made it into the first team turned up, played in plimsoles and absolutely
    Took the piss. He’s like second/third tier in Scotland level so just blows my mind what it would be like in cities in England.

    I think I could quite easily be just as competent at senior levels of my company - but it’ll never happen.

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    I have a better left foot than Abou Diaby.

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