U.S. Presidential Election 2016 (Sponsored by Betty Croker's Hamburger Helper)

[Pepe]

While the Democrats seat on their arses waiting for their first debate (still a few weeks away), on the Republican side THE POLLS now have Carly 'moar tanks' Fiorina in second place, behind The Donald. Meanwhile Harold Carson is third despite looking like a lobotomy victim with Marco Rrrrrubio beating Jeb (!) for fourth. Biggest lol is courtesy of Scott Walker, who has completely fallen from grace and now polls at less than 1%.

Who are everyone's dream matchups? Mine would be Bernie vs. Rand Paul, but there is absolutely no way that happens. I think 'Carly' would rip 'Hillary' a new arsehole, while even a stale slice of bread could beat Carson. Trump would provide the lulz, but I'm not sure he is a sustainable candidate on a long race, the novelty will wear off and once that is gone you are left with a combover and fuck else.

[leedsrevolution]

[Magic]

Where's best to follow this Pep?

[Pepe]

No idea, I just pick things here and there.

[7om]

That Fiorina is a right hard faced cow. She looks like she'd knife you, American Psycho style.

I want Trump purely for the meltdown.

[Pepe]

She definitely has the super-villain-robot look nailed down. I don't even think the smiling function was programmed into her.

[GS]

The entire Republican field are shit in various ways, unfortunately.

[Bernanke]

It's gonna be Rubio in the end.

[Magic]

Lol just seen this Carson guy say Islam is unconstitutional.

[Lewis]

I noticed that 'Jeb' has a few of his brother's mannerisms the other night (mainly how he bobs his head when he speaks), so I hope he wins if Rand Paul can't.

[Pepe]

He is a shit speaker, but he is still my second 'favorite' behind Rand Paul, who is most definitely not winning.

[Lewis]

Paul needs to get a more presidential haircut. You can't LEAD THE FREE WORLD with pubes for hair.

[Pepe]

Lad can't even pretend like he is arsed to be there during the debates.

[phonics]

Where's best to follow this Pep?

The New York Times for the 'establishment' view. Washington Post for the nitty, gritty largely dull day-to-day stuff. Breitbart for the right-wing nutjobs.

[Magic]

Breitbart it is.

[John Arne]

I would.

[phonics]

His debate answer about his daughter was super creepy as well.

[John Arne]

To be fair, he couldn't think of one American female worthy of putting on a bank note.

"Oh uhhm....my daughter, or what he said... Rosa Parks"

[Pepe]

Scott Walker is out.

[Lewis]

How come you STAND WITH RAND when you're such a pinko loser, Pepe?

[Pepe]

I said he's the best among the Republicans, not that I stand with him. Still would probably take him over fucking 'Hillary.'

[Pepe]

He basically stands for everything AMERICA supposedly stands for.

[Lewis]

And he won't lock all your little minority mates up.

[Pepe]

We're not all little.

[AE]

Pwned!

[Spoonsky]

Scott Walker is DUNZO. Trump is going to destroy all the feasible Republican candidates before destroying himself.

[Toby]

It'd really be like Ritchie from The West Wing coming true to life if the Democrats didn't look almost equally uninspiring.

[Shindig]

Imagine that man addressing a national tragedy.

[phonics]

Trump says he's boycotting Fox News. Love it. Spend years turning people into cranks only to lose your peddlestool to the crank you enabled.

[AE]

It'd really be like Ritchie from The West Wing coming true to life if the Democrats didn't look almost equally uninspiring.

Atleast he knows how to dodge a question.

[Pepe]

My uni will be hosting a presidential debate next year. The trolling possibilities.

[Lewis]

'Would you deport me, Mr Trump? '
'Yes.'
*everyone cheers him*

[Pepe]

Shiiii.

[Henry]

Can anyone point to a GOP candidate who is not batshit insane? It appears to be a job requirement at this point. Any of them would be a dangerous proposition as President.

[Bernanke]

Can anyone point to a GOP candidate who is not batshit insane? It appears to be a job requirement at this point. Any of them would be a dangerous proposition as President.

Kasich is the least crazy one.

[phonics]

Christie isn't insane he's just an arsehole. I can't believe he's managed to fuck this run up so badly.

[Davgooner]

Can anyone point to a GOP candidate who is not batshit insane? It appears to be a job requirement at this point. Any of them would be a dangerous proposition as President.

Not really. Trump has dragged them from the right into complete batshit mental territory. Rand Paul has the right idea about a lot of things but unfortunately is still touting that fucking mental tax plan.

[ItalAussie]

Trump really is a non-factor, aside from giving the rest of the field a common enemy. His problem is that he's unlikely to win a single new voter who hasn't already gotten behind him. As the support starts to solidify behind one or two of the other candidates, he's going to have to up his level of bombast, and that's going to self-destruct. He's already getting the reputation of someone who is all bluster but unwilling to state any particular plans.

That said, still over a year to go. But it's hard to see him lasting the distance.

[Pepe]

Agreed. The show will get old sooner or later and once the novelty wears off, you are left with a man who really has absolutely no clue or any plan whatsoever.

[Davgooner]

And yet.

[Lewis]

Chris Christie seems the most personable (along with 'Jeb'), by which I mean I'm sure they're mostly nice people but he would be the least likely to shut the pub down talking about Jesus, but then he's also a big fat loudmouth and that probably wore a bit thin once everybody had marveled at him telling teachers to shut up.

[7om]

First Democrat debate on CNN tonight.

Incidentally I was flicking through radio stations today until I came across one geezer, whose voice I didnt recognise, talking government policy and I found myself agreeing with almost everything he said. Turned out it was Bernie Sanders so I'll be interested to see what he comes across like on telly.

[Henry]

He's been saying some positive things about the military recently, which is probably a tactical shift, but not particularly welcome in my view.

[Lewis]

Joe Biden waiting and waiting, so he can pretend he's doing it reluctantly. Just get involved mate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If Bernie Sanders gets in, the south might as well have another crack at seceding.

[Reg]

I read Pharrell saying that Hilary Clinton should be president because she's a woman and women think holistically. He gave no other reason.

I wish these musicians and the like, who have millions of people following what they say, would keep schtum or give better/more reasons.

[Pepe]

I hope this is at least 10% as mental as the Republican one so I can get a few lols. I bet Spoonsky and his wanker friends are having a watching party, the wankers.

[Spoonsky]

Hillary will have to finally acknowledge Bernie's existence.

I actually have no idea what will happen, though I reckon that Bernie will don it, because he's an actual person, rather than just a mask for focus groups. But we'll see. I'm excited.

[Pepe]

Stream anyone?

[7om]

Old Glory!