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Thread: Health and sickness. A place to moan.

  1. #601
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Sausage rolls are shit cold as well. Yeah. I said it.

    Pizza too.

    Fuck you.

  2. #602
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Vienne En Cage sounds like some sort of fetish.

  3. #603
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Leave my neck alone you nonce.

  4. #604
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Just heard my 31 year old, apparently fit as a fiddle, cousin is recovering from a stroke. Scary biscuits.

  5. #605
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    When you say fit as a fiddle, do you mean he (she?) was 'into' fitness? Those types seem more prone to strokes and other major heath defects (age relatively), particularly the high intensity training sorts.

  6. #606
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    When you say fit as a fiddle, do you mean he (she?) was 'into' fitness? Those types seem more prone to strokes and other major heath defects (age relatively), particularly the high intensity training sorts.
    I haven't seen her in a while but she was always a proper size and active. Apparently she had just done some assault course run type thing.

    EDIT: Tough Mudder.

  7. #607
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    She probably just had a turn off all the noxious Tough Mudder bullshit around.

  8. #608
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I’d be feeling like a right fat smug cunt about it tbh.

  9. #609
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I never heard of it. There's another one that all the twats in my old job used to do so they could post wanky Facebook photos of themselves all mucky, but the name escapes me.

  10. #610
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Hell & Back.

  11. #611
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Bog Trotter.

  12. #612
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I’d be feeling like a right fat smug cunt about it tbh.
    The difference is that when mine comes, probably shortly, I won't end up recovering in hospital.

  13. #613
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Doesn't everyone get the shits in those things?

  14. #614
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Hospitals? Maybe in Mexico.

  15. #615
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I had a nice sausage roll at Gloucester services on Friday.

  16. #616
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    I had a nice sausage roll at Gloucester services on Friday.
    Brown or red sauce?

  17. #617
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    No sauce is the correct answer.

  18. #618
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    None. If I was having crap mini sausage rolls with beans and hash browns (a meal I have roughly once a year), I'd go with brown 100% but this didn't really need it.

  19. #619
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Just heard my 31 year old, apparently fit as a fiddle, cousin is recovering from a stroke. Scary biscuits.
    Did she have high cholesterol?
    I'm a twit

  20. #620
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Did she have high cholesterol?
    Not that she knew of anyway. Dunno yet if they found it to be high.

  21. #621
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    I haven't been able to hear anything out of my left ear since Tuesday morning. It initially felt like my ear had popped and I assumed it would sort itself out, but it's only got worse since and I'm now quite concerned. Off to the doctors tomorrow if I can get a cancellation appointment.

  22. #622
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Prolly just wax.

  23. #623
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    When you say you can’t hear out of one ear, do you mean it’s muffled? Or you’re literally deaf? If it’s the latter, don’t fuck about with a GP, go to the Hospital.

  24. #624
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Yes.

  25. #625
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    When you say you can’t hear out of one ear, do you mean it’s muffled? Or you’re literally deaf? If it’s the latter, don’t fuck about with a GP, go to the Hospital.
    It was muffled on Tuesday morning but now I'm basically deaf. If I put a headphone in at full volume I can just about hear a sort of tinny rattle.

    If I can't get a cancellation appointment tomorrow I'll be going to the hospital.

  26. #626
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Yeah I'd definitely be heading to A&E with that one.

  27. #627
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    My right ears like that. You get used.
    I'm a twit

  28. #628
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Hey that happened to me. Woke up on Wednesday when I was in 2nd year of uni unable to hear anything out of my left ear. Was in the drunk/hungover cycle and I get bad beer fear with my hangovers, and I'm a hypochondriac at the best of times. Would wake up thinking I had a brain tumour, start drinking with the lads and laugh it off as paranoia, etc etc, until the Saturday night when despite being absolutely steaming I had this moment of clarity where I realised I had to just get it sorted out.

    Went to Liverpool city centre A&E at fucking 2am on a Saturday, after about 8 pints, and spent 2 hours surrounded by Scousers who'd obviously got their heads kicked in from scraps, until some super effeminate male nurse brought me to his little room. Within 2 minutes of playing around with a pair of pliers and some microscope thingy he informed me "eyyy la, you've obviously got some dickhead mates cus there's a fucking ciggy filter in your ear, kind of fucking prank is that?!", then basically told me to piss off. I was very embarrassed but my hearing has been fine since then.

    Or you could be like my dad; he had recurring ear infections and crap hearing in one of his ears for a couple of years until a doctor found a fucking dead fly in there. Similarly, once it was removed his hearing was sorted, though I still have my doubts based on him spending the last few years almost exclusively listening to the Sensational Alex Harvey Band and Public Image LTD. Then again, that could be due to mental derangement cus of his stroke rather than hearing problems.

  29. #629
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Ffs igor.

  30. #630
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Best post of the year

  31. #631
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Fluid in my 'eustachian tube', they reckon. Lovely.

  32. #632
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I was horribly unwell all of last week, and still not at 100% now. Had the worst diarrhea of my life - literally shit nothing but water since last Monday. Add horrendous stomach cramps to that, plus a fever and general aches that you get when feeling ill, and I was basically in bed for a week.

    I'm back to work now and the cramps are almost gone, but I still haven't had a solid shit in over a week.

  33. #633
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    You're becoming a woman

  34. #634
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Are all the women you associate with unable to form solid stools or?

  35. #635
    I used to be funny.
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    Or is that a common side-effect of transitioning?

  36. #636
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    It sounds like the worst period ever

  37. #637
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I have been shitting blood, now you mention it.

  38. #638
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    You may be suffering from a corruption of the humours actually, you’re gonna want to release some bile pronto

  39. #639
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Isn't shitting blood quite serious? You probably want to see a doctor.

  40. #640
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    The blood has stopped now. It's just horrendous stomach flu.

  41. #641
    I used to be funny.
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    Oof. I hate summer colds so I can't imagine what nightmares a summer flu would bring.

  42. #642
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    I have IBS so I shit blood if I'm having a bad bout. I convinced myself I had arse cancer the first time, but I think it's just a tear that's come from excessive straining on the toilet for an hour every day.

  43. #643
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quite frankly he's been shitting frying pans, cocktail sticks and things like that.

  44. #644
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'm missing a concert and smoked brisket tonight as I've to wear a 24hr BP monitor til tomorrow

  45. #645
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Can't wait to get this fucking thing off. That was a long night.

  46. #646
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Why have you had to have it on?

  47. #647
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I was in getting an ingrown hair looked at the other day and the doc measured my BP. 136/88 which is apparently high (haven't a clue) so she suggested I do a 24hr monitor. They're very cumbersome.

  48. #648
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    That's a lot more mundane than I was hoping for.

  49. #649
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    You'll be highly disappointed to hear it was fine over the 24 hours then.

  50. #650
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    I'm glad you're not dead.

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