Smart booking.
Not as many as surprises as I'd have liked, but that was pretty good. Miles better than last year.
Nakamura will regret that big time if Kane wins.
I'm not going to lie. I marked the fuck out.
Jesus Christ Steph is rolling back the years.
Time to rewatch their Wrestle Kingdom match.
Kurt needs to get his balls out of her purse though.
Browning
It was definitely the sensible decision, but that's that shock - it's hard to believe that WWE would actually realise they could make the Reigns/Lesnar re-re-re-rematch without having to go through the Rumble, and could instead use it to promote someone that wasn't Reigns or an Attitude Era guy.
What the fuck is this KFC Rumble shit?
And now, WWE proves they're a multinational company for eight minutes!
Nah Im not at all. I am hoping they free Nakamura up a little bit though considering it is Mania. Creative have limited his moveset way too much.
Jay White v Omega from last night is worth a watch and the Bullet Club drama after.
That was garbage.
I barely watched it. I couldn't give a shit about tag teams in WWE these days, Usos included. "Day Oneish" or whatever it is makes no sense, so that's all I need to know.
They're going to have Stephanie win the women's rumble, aren't they?
So, what I got from that video is that Brawn Strongman tried to commit actual murder on a load of guys?
He must be a face.
Is Strowman "one of the baddest men in WWE history" because he pushed over an ambulance one time?
Fuck knows what Brock has done to enter that equation too.
Steel chair already? What a bad man!
The fact that nobody can get DQ'd might drag this match up from shit to kinda okay.
Nevermind, they're all gassed & we're on to sloppy finishers already. I'll be surprised if this goes another 10mins.
Finlay will tell you it wouldn't be unlike WWE to randomly chuck a DQ into a match that has no business having them on a Rumble PPV.
Strowman might be the worst tactician in the history of wrestling. Right at the start he knocks both men for 6, but then chucks them out the ring for no reason, and then he decides to just keep hitting finishers on Lesnar until Kane gets back in.
Nobody has any kind of tactical acumen in wrestling, especially WWE. The Rumble is always proof of that, as guys randomly decide to stop people from eliminating other guys for no reason when they could just help dump them out instead.
This has been a shit PPV so far.
Remember when WWE used to use bands like Limp Bizkit & Saliva for their themes? Now it's Little Mix
Little Mix is a significant improvement on most of the cunts we get. What the hell is a Flo Rida?
Natty to start?
Already off to a great start by having the announcer introduce a special guest announcer who then introduces Stephanie. I guess they had to give Maria Menounos a job somewhere. Shame she's awful at ring announcing.
God, I hate this already. It couldn't just be treated like a normal match, they had to drag all their buddies out to get special parts in it.
Maria Menounos' voice is awful for ring announcing. Get JoJo back out there for the rest of the match, please. Great to hear Stephanie providing great insight such as "Oh, look out!" and "OH, OH!" too.
Slow motion reply of Brock's right hand to Braun is bloody stupid.
Business just picked up
Womens Revolution Rumble, featuring Corey Graves making misogynistic comments about the competitors, because we're better than the bra & panties match days.
Lita
This is already better than the blokes.
Give me Kairi Sane v Asuka please
Was anyone paying attention to Sasha's kicks in the corner just then? Genuinely the worst few seconds of wrestling I've ever seen in my life. I'm sure they'll be a gif somewhere at some point.
Tamina looks to have spent her time off working on a food blog.
Torrie looks younger than she did 15 years ago
Torrie still looks amazing, and still can't really wrestle that well. I look forward to seeing how terrible Stacy Keibler is when she inevitably shows up, and I look forward even more to not giving a shit.
Liv Morgan looks like someone doing Alexa Bliss fancy dress.
This is exactly what a Rumble match is supposed to be.
OH MY FUCKING GOD
This is the best Rumble of all time.
Called Beth as soon as they said no one could stop Nia..... hate stuff like that.
Hey look, it's female Kofi Kingston. Now we can look forward to eight years of Naomi gimmick spots too!
Way too much shit with people staying outside the ring. Sasha must have been out there for 40% of the time she's been active.
I can't wait for Stacy Keibler to come in at 29 & eliminate Asuka to the confusion of every person ever.
Had to get both the Bellas in, I suppose. Trish & Ronda last two, or have we missed someone obvious?
Yep, it was Bayley, the person I was rooting for
Genuinely relieved that Trish got the 30 spot instead of Rousey. This has been great, I can forgive the sloppy ring work.