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Thread: Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

  1. #2201
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    What Scouse monstrosity have you sent to some poor Belgian cunt, @Baz?

  2. #2202
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    What Scouse monstrosity have you sent to some poor Belgian cunt, @Baz?
    I sent some Uncle Joe's Mintballs to someone in Finland.
    I'm a twit

  3. #2203
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Just had a po'boy sandwich in the Raven in Glasgow. Love this place.

  4. #2204
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Doing Scallops on a bed on lentils tonight

    First time doing scallops so I'll definitely burn them or undercook them resulting in food poisoning. My biggest issue is how to do the Lentils as I've only got dried ones. Thinking of doing the prep for them now and then leaving them to cook later.

  5. #2205
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Just put a 1.5kg ham joint and 2 litres of coke in the slow cooker. It’ll be done at 7am.

    Took the skin and fat off to make crackling too.

  6. #2206
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Just put a 1.5kg ham joint and 2 litres of coke in the slow cooker. It’ll be done at 7am.

    Took the skin and fat off to make crackling too.
    Coke flavoured ham. Is that a thing?

  7. #2207
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Yes.

  8. #2208
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Coke flavoured ham. Is that a thing?
    Very common thing for years. Cider too.

  9. #2209
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    And Fanta chicken.
    I'm a twit

  10. #2210
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    How do you do yours, Spikey?

    I've always thought of doing it but can't be arsed with taking it out, cutting some fat away, scoring it, glazing it and then crisping it up.

  11. #2211
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    How do you do yours, Spikey?

    I've always thought of doing it but can't be arsed with taking it out, cutting some fat away, scoring it, glazing it and then crisping it up.
    I just cut off the good fat for the crackling and leave the rest. It’s being cooked on low for 10 hours so most of it melts away.

    In the morning I’ll give it a quick go in the oven as I like the outside a bit crispy, but that’s about it.

    As for the crackling, easy job, cut through to the fat leaving an inch between each cut, salt the fuck out of it, has mark 6, cook it until you can knock on it / snap it.

  12. #2212
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Coke flavoured ham. Is that a thing?
    It’s just an easy way of sweetening it. The sugar coats it so you don’t have to prat about basting it with honey 17 times an hour. It doesn’t actually taste of coke.

  13. #2213
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I'm reposting the dessert I made for Christmas since not a single cunt commented on it in the Christmas thread and because my life is one long desperate search for validation.







    From bottom up:

    Biscuit moelleux sponge, alhambra sponge, sour cherry compote, white chocolate and kirsch mousse, dark chocolate mousse and chocolate glaze.

    Well pleased with how it came out, and it tasted smashing'n'all.

  14. #2214
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Good tips on coke / ham, chaps.

    Sorry I missed them earlier.

  15. #2215
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Good tips on coke / ham, chaps.

    Sorry I missed them earlier.
    I'm going to do one shortly in it as soon as I get shopping.

  16. #2216
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Think I might have pizza tomorrow

  17. #2217
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    That cake has too many different things going on. We all ignored it in collective, unspoken disgust.

  18. #2218
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I hope you all choke on your shitty ham.

  19. #2219
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Just had some Haribo. Only mini-bags but it means I got to have some Starmix and Tangfastics in the same mouthful. What a life I lead.

  20. #2220
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I fucking love Tangfastics but they make my teeth insanely sensitive so I can't have them.

    My body really is a failing mess.

  21. #2221
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Did anyone ever follow my great advice and freeze their Haribos (and other gummy shite)?

  22. #2222
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    No but I'm going to.

  23. #2223
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yes lad. Then move onto Mars bars.

  24. #2224
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    That's fucking rank. Who wants crunchy Haribo.

  25. #2225
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I thought it was a joke when you told me to freeze a bag of jelly snakes.

    I'll have to try it next time I buy a bag.

  26. #2226
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    That's fucking rank. Who wants crunchy Haribo.
    I doubt they'd go crunchy.

  27. #2227
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    We're changing lives here tonight.

  28. #2228
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I'm cooking three courses for ten people this weekend. Just worked out everything I've got to buy and I need 38 eggs

    Might have bitten off more than I can chew here...

  29. #2229
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Be sure to post pictures.

  30. #2230
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Just had beans on toast. Was banging.

  31. #2231
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    Be sure to post pictures.


    EDIT: It's actually 39 eggs.

  32. #2232
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I like that cake. It's the sort of cake I would like with a sweet dessert wine, while Lewis demands sticky toffee chocolate fudge chip cookie cake and a glass of milk.

  33. #2233
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    You missed out '#FBPE'.

  34. #2234
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I like that cake. It's the sort of cake I would like with a sweet dessert wine, while Lewis demands sticky toffee chocolate fudge chip cookie cake and a glass of milk.
    And that's just for the dog.

  35. #2235
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    He can't have chocolate. Bless him.

  36. #2236
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    You missed out '#FBPE'.
    Proper Brexiteers like myself have spotted dick or plum duff for pudding, with a measure of brandy afterwards.

  37. #2237
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'm definitely on the Lewis dessert there.

  38. #2238
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Just made pecan pie

  39. #2239
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Needed food but dominoes was closed. Did the whole house looking for sweets and even contemplated making a smoothie from a banana and other shit in the bowl. Just found 4 sausages and 2 rashers in the freezer wrapped up in some foil. Sweet babby Jesus, jackpot.

  40. #2240
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Had my first go at cooking (and eating) Orzo rice before. It has the texture of a clitoris.
    I'm a twit

  41. #2241
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I'm cooking three courses for ten people this weekend. Just worked out everything I've got to buy and I need 38 eggs

    Might have bitten off more than I can chew here...
    Survived. Went really well actually. Starter didn't taste as good as I hoped, but main and dessert were great.

    I have enough leftover egg whites to float a battleship.

  42. #2242
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Was that you sucking up to your girlfriend's family?

  43. #2243
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Was that you sucking up to your girlfriend's family?
    No, it was for some Uni friends.

    I haven't spoken to them since it happened, lol.

  44. #2244
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Thanks for the invite, 'mate'.

  45. #2245
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I offered to go to the cinema with you when we met and you said "we aren't becoming friends" so you can go fuck yourself, 'mate'.

  46. #2246
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I offered to go to the cinema with you when we met and you said "we aren't becoming friends" so you can go fuck yourself, 'mate'.


    Lewis

  47. #2247
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'm just going to have my last slice of the pie. It's been epic.

  48. #2248
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Oh yeah. Me.

  49. #2249
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    If anybody wants this I've just upped it to Dropbox so PM me:

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Modernist-C.../dp/0982761007

  50. #2250
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Anyone else got The Curry Guy book?

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Curry-Guy-R...=the+curry+guy

    Going to give something a bash over the weekend along with The Hairy Bikers gammon again which is fantastic.

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