Theresa May's Conservatives
Jeremy Corbyn's Labour
Tim Farron's Liberal Democrats
Paul Nuttall's UKIP
2 people's Greens
Nicholas Durgeon's Scottish Nationalists
Satan's Sinn Fein
Dr Ian Paisley's DUP
Some other bunch of nonces
I'm foreign, but I wish I were an Englishman
This Arron Banks stuff has set the bed-wetters right off. I hope they do find some Russian connection just for the lol.
I'd best go and read The Brothers Karamazov for the 198th time and see if there are any clues.
I haven't seen Ian Dunt re-tweeted into my timeline for ages. Is he alright? Anyway, I reckon Jolyon 'Jo' Maugham doing himself in is the new definition of Brexit success.
Fallon gone. Sexual allegations bringing the Tory cunts down?
That sounds a bit drastic, so - once again - he is either daft or expecting some more stuff to come out.
It appears Fallons going and the identity of his replacement and then the identity of his replacement has pissed everyone off it was possible to. Another win for May.
They cut the £29 a day allowance for soldiers in Iraq yesterday. I mean if you want Jeremy to seem attractive to people, just carry on doing stuff like that.
Interest rates.
Interest rates
Northern and boomer homeowning scum can get to fuck.
Everyone seems to describe all of Theresa May's right-hand people in exactly the same way.
This seems a good time to re-read Alan Clark's diaries.
The Lady is under deep pressure now. It just won't go away. As soon as one paper goes quiet another one, or two at a time, start up.
As far as I can make out, practically every member of the Cabinet is quietly and unattributably briefing different editors or members of the lobby about how awful she is. This makes it easier for people like Peter Jenkins to say that "she has virtually lost all support in Cabinet". Malcolm Rifkind is actually quoted today as saying, "I'll be here after she's gone."
There is even talk of a coup in July. Heseltine is quite openly spoken about as the heir-presumptive, and preens himself in public.
How has all this been allowed to come about? The Community Charge has got on everyone's nerves of course, and generated the most oppressive volume of correspondence. Persistent deficits in the polls of a nearly insuperable order rattle people.
But I am inclined to think that the Party in the House has just got sick of her. She hasn't promoted her "own" people much. Her "constituency" in this place depends solely on her proven ability to win General Elections. But now this is in jeopardy she has no real Praetorian Guard to fall back on.
There's been a lot of talk about "one of us", all that, but most of them are still left to moulder at the '92 dinner table. When's the Revolution? In the meantime, all the wets and Blue Chips and general Heathite wankers, who seem ineradicable in this bloody Party, stew around and pine for her to drop dead.
My own position is affected in a number of ways - all unwelcome. My special access is less potent because, with the rest of the Cabinet more or less openly plotting their own positions, and jockeying, her disapproval counts for little. We're almost getting to the point where they are no longer afraid of her. And indeed, her sponsorship could actually be damaging.
Second, it disturbs my own plans for smooth and easy withdrawal, booking a "K" at once and a Lords ticket in the next Parliament. Will I even get my PC [privy councillor] in May? Finally, I could be faced with the ultimate hideosity of being stuck at MoD during a Heseltine "reconstruction". Should I leave immediately, or hang on for certain humiliation 48 hours later?
Oh dear. How quickly everything can change.
Minister of Defence is a pointless job in this day and age, and people only like it for the prestige and because they want to be seen poncing around with soldiers and looking 'tough', so anyone moaning about who is and isn't 'qualified' for it is a gimp.
All going down like dominoes tonight in both parties. I think Damian Green is going to get boshed over the weekend and then they're in all sorts.
I liked Jezza literally running away from Kelvin Hopkins questions like some Cook Report fraudster.
Also, lol at votes for sixteen year olds.
'They can pay tax and join the Army so...'
'But not be in a car with a smoker.'
'Yeah, well. We have to protect children.'
lol at Priri Patel going on holiday to Israel, bumping into Netanyahu and accidentally committing Foreign Aid money to Israeli soldiers in the Golan Heights then not mentioning it to the Foreign Office. I hate when that happens. Last time I went to Turkey I walked into a coffee shop and signed an agreement declaring an independent Kurdish state.
Lol Leadsoms being hounded for not reporting a rape.
Boris has got an English citizen in Iran a few more years in jail.
Patel is selling off funds to the Israelis while on her hols.
Cabinet has been cancelled. There's no point in even making Strong and Stable jokes anymore. Omnishambles would be an understatement.
It's definitely Bozza who should be the focus of criticism on that locked up woman issue. Definitely.
I can't wait for this time next year when strong and stable Jeremy has nationalised the DIY industry and banned lamb chops.
I can see that actually. Liam Fox will be starting an 800-year term in the Hague but still won't have been sacked as Secretary of State for International Trade.
A Welsh assembly member who had to resign due to groping has done himself in. Hopefully we can trace this back to Alastair Campbell in some way and add it to his body count.
I don't understand this stuff about the House of Commons procedures letting rape claimants down. Why would you go to them? You can even claim for a stolen lawnmower without a police report, and yet you expect your rape claims to be dealt with by Andrea Leadsom.
While I agree that the police would obviously be a good idea I don't think it's unreasonable to expect your employers to do something about a crime in the workplace.
What can they do until the police do anything?
You probably wouldn't want someone having to directly report to their accused rapist, for one.
Which is why the police need to get involved, since you can't start moving people around on unreported (officially) accusations.
It all ends in the Title IX lolfest.
Hardly a surprise that people don't understand the monetary system. This stuff should probably be in schools.
If you wanted to make kids jump off cliffs en masse through boredom, maybe.
Because school is crazy interesting as it is.
Kids are hardly salivating at the thought of learning trigonometry and what the French for "cat" is, are they?
But yeah, let's just have them play FIFA and watch movies all day instead.
There's always been this clamour to teach children facts. It's nonsense. What we should be doing is stretching their brains with abstract subjects (maths, science and languages are all great for this), not telling them how to wash up.
I suppose that's the history syllabus out the window entirely then.
Is this womans only job to talk to the Israelis?
Yeah but at least they're thinking about a remote topic in a way that will develop their brain. So many times I hear about the idea school time should be wasted on how to budget your income and how to boil pasta, ideas that fundamentally misunderstand what education is about.
And don't even start me on 'PHSE'.
Well of course. Fuck that. But I don't think some understanding of economics is in the same category - and being boring isn't really an excuse.
I did economics A level and it was pretty interesting in teaching you concepts, without resorting to bullshit about central banking and leveraged bonds etc etc.
I mean economics is a fictional subject but at least it has educational value in the way I described above.
Even as someone who never did Economics in school due to an administrative error (once you get into 9th grade, you're supposed to rotate humanities to learn what you want to specialise in and I got put in Geography twice and History once) I find it odd that you don't even get a choice.
edit: Apparently you do according to Jims post?
There is always History to learn about the alternatives.
Government caves again. MPs will vote yes or no on the EU deal. What is the point in trying to show a tough negotiating position to Europe if you don't think you can govern domestically.
This is why year after year we got absolutely duffed up when we were in the EU because the current lot of the past 15 years or so are horrendously bad politicians. From Cameron aligning MEP votes with the 'opposition' parties like the Polish right to now, an absolute shambles.