The Driving Thread

[Magic]

Was tailgaiting some dumb student bitch because she wasn't moving over to the inside lane despite there being miles before the next car she would be overtaking going a measly 73MPH.

I could see her little limp wrist waving aimlessly as if to shoo me away, like a middle-class white male, and true to form, I drove so far up her bumper I could basically smell her cunt. She finally did move over, and a fantastic, slow shake of the head sent her in to hyperseethe. Fucking anti-fox hunting dyke.

Far more effective than any Vs, or shouting or swearing.

[Adamski]

I love seeing little melts like you in my rear mirror waving your Highway Code.

No fucks given

[Giggles]

Was tailgaiting some dumb student bitch because she wasn't moving over to the inside lane despite there being miles before the next car she would be overtaking going a measly 73MPH.

I could see her little limp wrist waving aimlessly as if to shoo me away, like a middle-class white male, and true to form, I drove so far up her bumper I could basically smell her cunt. She finally did move over, and a fantastic, slow shake of the head sent her in to hyperseethe. Fucking anti-fox hunting dyke.

Far more effective than any Vs, or shouting or swearing.

Running the cunt into the central wall would be too good for her like.

[Magic]

I love seeing little melts like you in my rear mirror waving your Highway Code.

No fucks given

I don't, I just sit there, far too close, looking dead ahead with my terminator glasses, then shake the head as I roar past in my 1.0l Golf Estate.

[Giggles]

You see it lots here but I always thought you had competent traffic police to cut out that sort of fuckwittery.

[Magic]

You see it lots here but I always thought you had competent traffic police to cut out that sort of fuckwittery.

Are you joking they are more interested in people going 1MPH over the speed limit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I love the little head shake after overtaking a pleb.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The best way to deal with tailgating cunts is to slow down even more.

[Magic]

Unless you've got your P plates on you'll be getting it hard as well you learner cunt.

[Magic]

Got flashed doing 48 in a 40. They'd changed the speed limit just last month from 60. Bastards. Unfamiliar area.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

[Spikey M]

Anyone tailgating me will be rewarded with a terrific and swift reduction in speed.

[Giggles]

You knew it was 40 though as you'd never have been doing by 48 in a 60.

[Magic]

Tbf I did see 40 signs but it was through roadworks so I sped up to 60 and slowly started to slow down even though the national sign was straight after the camera so I think 48 was the speed I went through at.

Didn't realise they'd clocked the GATSO down to 40 as well.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Where was that?

[Magic]

Tyrebagger.

[Foe]

Car behind me on the way home from work decided she didn't fancy stopping at the roundabout which means she smashed into the back of my car. Back bumper is fucked, parking sensors didn't seem to be working and boot has a big old dent.

Also got a sore back and neck now.

[Giggles]

That's the spirit. If you lived here that would be worth at least 25 grand.

[Magic]

Car behind me on the way home from work decided she didn't fancy stopping at the roundabout which means she smashed into the back of my car. Back bumper is fucked, parking sensors didn't seem to be working and boot has a big old dent.

Also got a sore back and neck now.

Was it sunny?

[Spikey M]

Funding your boiler repair with a dodgy Whiplash claim.

[Giggles]

For the London heads: What are Go Bus like? They're taking over 23 routes from Dublin Bus later this year. I'd be hoping the service can't get any shitter than it is but you never know.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Someone smashed the fuck out of our minibus this weekend and had no idea who as it was parked at home and no note was left.

One of our neighbours has security cameras though and we found out it was an old Indian delivery guy who reversed the fuck into it. He's denying it was him (he doesn't know about the cameras) even though his car is smashed to shit too.

Mum doesn't want to report him but if he doesn't pay up (or get the insurance involved) I've talked her into phoning them up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Winter driving noob question: today it's a bit colder than it has been, and when I set off for work the windscreen wouldn't stop steaming up. First of all I had to have the wipers on to see through it (clear blue day) and then eventually after I had whacked all the heating/aircon settings in turn, it slightly improved. What would cause that to happen?

[Spikey M]

Someone smashed the fuck out of our minibus this weekend and had no idea who as it was parked at home and no note was left.

One of our neighbours has security cameras though and we found out it was an old Indian delivery guy who reversed the fuck into it. He's denying it was him (he doesn't know about the cameras) even though his car is smashed to shit too.

Mum doesn't want to report him but if he doesn't pay up (or get the insurance involved) I've talked her into phoning them up.

Why the fuck would you not report it? Fuck whether he pays or not.

[Magic]

Probably no insurance dodgy Polaks.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Winter driving noob question: today it's a bit colder than it has been, and when I set off for work the windscreen wouldn't stop steaming up. First of all I had to have the wipers on to see through it (clear blue day) and then eventually after I had whacked all the heating/aircon settings in turn, it slightly improved. What would cause that to happen?

High heat with air con on is what you want. People forget the air con also dries the air. Make sure the air re-circulation button isn't on though as that will make things worse.

If you get a lot of bother with moisture one of these will help-

http://www.halfords.com/motoring/car...e-dehumidifier

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Why the fuck would you not report it? Fuck whether he pays or not.

My Mum is too kind at times.

[Disco]

Winter driving noob question: today it's a bit colder than it has been, and when I set off for work the windscreen wouldn't stop steaming up. First of all I had to have the wipers on to see through it (clear blue day) and then eventually after I had whacked all the heating/aircon settings in turn, it slightly improved. What would cause that to happen?

I'm guessing we've all set off before the windscreen has cleared properly, driving while leaning forward peering through a tiny hole in the condensation should be part of the test.

[Giggles]

You might need a new cabin (pollen) filter too if it's steaming up badly @Jimmy Floyd.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm guessing we've all set off before the windscreen has cleared properly, driving while leaning forward peering through a tiny hole in the condensation should be part of the test.

Being a noob I set off before I even realised it was a problem, so I spent most of the journey to work jabbing Czech piece of shit buttons that don't do anything.

[mugbull]

Being a noob I set off before I even realised it was a problem, so I spent most of the journey to work jabbing Czech piece of shit buttons that don't do anything.

[Magic]

Drove in to the back of some stupid old cunt who needs driving lessons clearly.

[Spikey M]

The order of the collision seems to imply the opposite Maggie.

[Magic]

I thought my reflexes were boss as well but I was caught so off guard by how shocking her driving was I simply didn't react in time.

[Pepe]

You were on the phone, weren't you?

[Magic]

So after my lolworthy flash by a non-working camera http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41869134

I'm pretty sure, unless by some miracle the OPERATING OFFICER was picking his beak or something, that I've been caught doing 90 (85GPS) going up the A9 today, at a place where I've never seen a camera before.

RIP.

[wullie]

Had a major service done on the 206 and they phoned up to ask if the cambelt was new. They advised that they should be replaced every 10 years so it would need doing just because and combined with the other advisory things it would be a quote of £800. That's hit the point where the cost of repairs is more than the value of the car so RIP my old friend, you're going to a big car park in the sky. We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun

[SincereTheRebel]

Any motorcycle riders in here? My friend has just bought a bike with all the flashy leather clothes and safety equipment. Ive never seen anyone where one before, but why dont motorcycle people ride around wearing a cape?

[Disco]

There's a pretty obvious drawback.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Drove my sister and her husband to the furthest reaches of inner London at the weekend, after they came back from their honeymoon (we live near Heathrow). I don't think there is anything worse than London driving. Total ambiguity about what lane you're meant to be in, a lot of drug dealers/red light jumpers everywhere, knobhead cyclists, and massive aggression from all your fellow road users.

The low point was getting hooted at by a double decker bus because I wasn't diving into a gap that simply wasn't there. I started explaining to the gentleman bus driver that perhaps were he to return to the land of his forefathers he might find road etiquette there more to his taste.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Drove my sister and her husband to the furthest reaches of inner London at the weekend, after they came back from their honeymoon (we live near Heathrow). I don't think there is anything worse than London driving. Total ambiguity about what lane you're meant to be in, a lot of drug dealers/red light jumpers everywhere, knobhead cyclists, and massive aggression from all your fellow road users.

The low point was getting hooted at by a double decker bus because I wasn't diving into a gap that simply wasn't there. I started explaining to the gentleman bus driver that perhaps were he to return to the land of his forefathers he might find road etiquette there more to his taste.

Barcelona is worse and I refused to drive in Paris because I know it's worse.

[Giggles]

Poland was the worst I've found for speeding and aggression when I was commuting for a few weeks from Krakow to Gliwice, though I've never had the joys of central London.

The driving here is just a mixture of idiocy and pig ignorance.

[SvN]

The taxi I took in Tunisia about 10 years ago was the most terrifying experience of my life.

[Disco]

Drove my sister and her husband to the furthest reaches of inner London at the weekend, after they came back from their honeymoon (we live near Heathrow). I don't think there is anything worse than London driving. Total ambiguity about what lane you're meant to be in, a lot of drug dealers/red light jumpers everywhere, knobhead cyclists, and massive aggression from all your fellow road users.

The low point was getting hooted at by a double decker bus because I wasn't diving into a gap that simply wasn't there. I started explaining to the gentleman bus driver that perhaps were he to return to the land of his forefathers he might find road etiquette there more to his taste.

Going into Richmond and back out again is about my limit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh I'm talking Britain rather than forrin lands. One YouTube search for Russian dashcam compilations should be enough for anyone to avoid visiting that country on wheels.

[Giggles]

Oh I'm talking Britain rather than forrin lands. One YouTube search for Russian dashcam compilations should be enough for anyone to avoid visiting that country on wheels.

Oxford was an experience. Definitely a town that allows cars but doesn't really want them.

[Disco]

Have to say though, that bit of the M3 they spent a thousand years working on is rather nice now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Poland was the worst I've found for speeding and aggression when I was commuting for a few weeks from Krakow to Gliwice, though I've never had the joys of central London.

The driving here is just a mixture of idiocy and pig ignorance.

Yeah, Poland is pretty fucking bad.

A taxi in Turkey was my worst experience. Guy was going through red lights and going into lanes of oncoming traffic to get a better driving line round corners.

[Danny]

The taxi I took in Tunisia about 10 years ago was the most terrifying experience of my life.

India for me. No such thing as lanes out there.

[Spikey M]

Check engine light came on again so I took the car in to have the spark plugs changed. £35. Fiesta life, yo.