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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #5051
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Didn't do Ken Livingstone any harm.

  2. #5052
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Based on my theory that small countries' cuisine is basically a mixture of that of the two big countries on either side, I can only presume that Jersey has horror shows called tarte du cottage and the like, and absolutely terrible attempts at tomato sauce.

  3. #5053
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    No, they have 2 pizza expresses and all the major fast food chains (and also some good stuff, for the sake of fairness).

  4. #5054
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I quite like pizza express. I wouldn't go there to sit on but the pizzas are a lot better than Dominos.

  5. #5055
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    One day I'll make enough money to introduce the tartiflette to the England Massive and I'll be a millyunaire.

  6. #5056
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I quite like pizza express. I wouldn't go there to sit on but the pizzas are a lot better than Dominos.
    Probably think you're thinking of jumping and trying to get you down off the roof.

    Edit: Tried to get in before the edit but this joke doesn't work as well as the other. Damn.

  7. #5057
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    It's basically cheese and onion crisps so you're behind the curve already.

  8. #5058
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Sit in! Fuck off making fun of my phone keyboard typos, Phonics.

  9. #5059
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    It's basically cheese and onion crisps so you're behind the curve already.
    Now if anyone can make my idea of 'Sandwiches but with crisps already in them and don't go soggy' work you can have my tartiflette money.

  10. #5060
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I'm a big fan of tartiflette, but it has its place, and we don't really have any mountains, so it's a no for me.

    Get to the root of what is making your crisps soggy and I'm sure there's a solution out there for you.

  11. #5061
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    No, they have 2 pizza expresses and all the major fast food chains (and also some good stuff, for the sake of fairness).
    Sorry, I forgot you were from Sark.

    I had tartiflette at a farmer's market a while back (fuck off Lewis) and yeah, not sure it works out of context.

  12. #5062
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Waterproof crisps.

  13. #5063
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    You can get one of the best lunches on the planet on that fair isle.

    And disinherit your daughter/assert a few feudal rights whilst you're at it.

  14. #5064
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Pizza Express, @SvN. Don't they do a really good low-calorie range?

  15. #5065
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    I'm a big fan of tartiflette, but it has its place, and we don't really have any mountains, so it's a no for me.
    You could definitely sell it somewhere cold and shit like Hull/Wales. Just don't cook it in the ginormous pot and put it in a bucket for trendy points. Jobs a good'un.

  16. #5066
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    They already have pies though.

    Pies are your Achilles heel here, and the welsh already have there own cheese/carb 'delicacy' so that's going to be tricky as well.

  17. #5067
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'It's like potato bake, but three times as expensive[?].'
    'You're alright.'

  18. #5068
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    Waterproof crisps.
    Individually laminated crisps where the protective film melts upon breaking? But then you'd have to worry about delivery. I've thought about this for way too long.

    It's Salt & Shake for the Sandwich. We're so close guys.

  19. #5069
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    They already have pies though.

    Pies are your Achilles heel here, and the welsh already have there own cheese/carb 'delicacy' so that's going to be tricky as well.
    I'd ask if there's a cheese, bacon and potato pie but Kiko once posted a picture of a Pie in a Bap like that's a normal thing so I'm going to assume yes and let the dream die.

  20. #5070
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Pizza Express, @SvN. Don't they do a really good low-calorie range?
    Not sure, not a huge fan myself.

  21. #5071
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Individually laminated crisps where the protective film melts upon breaking? But then you'd have to worry about delivery. I've thought about this for way too long.

    It's Salt & Shake for the Sandwich. We're so close guys.
    Just add a third piece of bread and keep them separate from the rest of the stuff.

  22. #5072
    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno Reg's Avatar
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    Why are the crisps wet?

  23. #5073
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reg View Post
    Why are the crisps wet?
    Because you have to keep them inside the sandwich inside a fridge for love periods. Try it. If the bread is fresh, the crisps will be wet. Can't be done.

    Edit: love periods is too good to edit after I've done Boydy for it twice in a day. *long.

  24. #5074
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    Just add a third piece of bread and keep them separate from the rest of the stuff.
    That's too much bread! No-one actually likes those double decker sandwiches. Don't think I haven't thought of this.

  25. #5075
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Oh yeah, the guy who puts crisps in his sandwich should really be concerned about too many carbs.

  26. #5076
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    If it's just putting them in the fridge that's causing it, then don't?

  27. #5077
    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno Reg's Avatar
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    Try wrapping the individual crisps in salad leaves.

    If that doesn't work, get back to me.

  28. #5078
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Salad leaves are bound to be damp so that's a non-starter.

    What happens if you try to incorporate crisps into bread in the baking process? Where's MdlF these days?

  29. #5079
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I can put crisps in a sandwich you mongs. I'm trying to mass produce these things on a Ginsters level.

  30. #5080
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Individually laminated crisps where the protective film melts upon breaking? But then you'd have to worry about delivery. I've thought about this for way too long.

    It's Salt & Shake for the Sandwich. We're so close guys.
    Why not just put the crisps in the sandwich when you want to eat it? It takes two seconds.

    EDIT: Hadn't refreshed the page.

  31. #5081
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    There used to be a shop near the school that sold these blinding lasagna pies, but I've never seen them since.

  32. #5082
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Went to a Fulham game on Saturday and got a pie expecting a wonderful English fare but mistakenly bought a curry pie instead. Although i guess that's as english as anything these days

  33. #5083
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The balti pie is a well established tradition. Get a cup of hot bovril next time for the full English experience.

  34. #5084
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Why not just put the crisps in the sandwich when you want to eat it? It takes two seconds.

    EDIT: Hadn't refreshed the page.
    He's cited 'Salt and Shake' crisps as the model, which means that's exactly what he's after.

    Tesco, along with most other supermarkets I'd imagine, have solved the problem with their 'meal deal' which offers a sandwich and a bag of crisps for a set price.

  35. #5085
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    He's cited 'Salt and Shake' crisps as the model, which means that's exactly what he's after.


    Good point.

  36. #5086
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    The balti pie is a well established tradition. Get a cup of hot bovril next time for the full English experience.
    I'm not Oliver Twist

  37. #5087
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post


    Good point.
    I was referring to the revolution of the luncheon experience.

  38. #5088
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    You're probably the only person on this board smaller and thinner than me.

    Edit: I definitely hit the quote mokbull button but I'll live with it.

  39. #5089
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    You're probably the only person on this board smaller and thinner than me.

    Edit: I definitely hit the quote mokbull button but I'll live with it.
    I need backup here

    @igor_balis I'm a big strong boy right?

  40. #5090
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    No bottom can refer to themselves as a 'big strong boy'.

  41. #5091
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I can if i eat your ass

  42. #5092
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Bovril is great you fanny.

  43. #5093
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I know it is, but Johnny Foreigner would hate it.

  44. #5094
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I was talking to mokkers.

    On your poncey farmers' market, there appears to be so few images of Tony Blair interacting with the British countryside that 'Tony Blair farmer' brings up pictures of Tony Martin before any of him meeting one.

  45. #5095
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Sit in! Fuck off making fun of my phone keyboard typos, Phonics.

    Leave him alone, he's tired after walking 9 - 5.

  46. #5096
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    It's fucking depressing going over to the U.K. now and realizing that every town is pretty much the same place with different price tags.
    It obviously does have a load of the chains, but Norwich has started to have a lot more independent (and very good) places opening in the last couple of years or so. I don't know if that trend follows across the country, but it's great here at least.

  47. #5097
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mokbull View Post
    I need backup here

    @igor_balis I'm a big strong boy right?
    You're well hard, mate.

  48. #5098
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Migraine View Post
    It obviously does have a load of the chains, but Norwich has started to have a lot more independent (and very good) places opening in the last couple of years or so. I don't know if that trend follows across the country, but it's great here at least.
    South of the Blair Line, yeah (Wash to the Severn), but not north of it.

  49. #5099
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Even Hull has got a load of smaller food places these days. Town centres are just left to the chains because nobody else can afford the rents and rapacious business rates.

  50. #5100
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    What kind of a 'tech professional' goes to an Apple launch event to whoop and cheer like a fucking cheerleader. Grow the fuck up, you daft Yank cunts.

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