Black Swans are heard of, both as pubs and swans
Black Swans are heard of, both as pubs and swans
The good old 'black swan event', the 21st century update to the 'act of God'.
Apologies for my racism.
Scampi fucking fries
I always seen those cheese moments in the bacon/scampi cards but never ever seen a bag in the flesh.
What are these 'cheese footballs'?
A 1970s relic of generic cheese paste surrounded by two half-globes of thin, wafery biscuit which more or less dissolves in your mouth. Greater, I think, than the sum of its parts.
Gonna have to try those.
I went into town this morning to do some shopping. Didn't think it would he that busy. I was wrong. Got a few things but still have some other stuff to get. Or, more accurately, people to get for because I don't actually know what to get them.
I always do this. I think I'll get it done early online every year then procrastinate because I don't know what to get people until I have to just brave the crowds at the actual shops and panic buy.
I got everything on Amazon today, except for my mum. I hate buying for my mum. I don't want to ask her what she wants as that's boring, but her interests are literature and (classical) music, which I know a bit about but she has a very well developed/particular/snobbish taste in both which I can't cater for unless I ask her for precise details.
As such I'm now scrolling through various crap garden implements and cookery books, as that's what 60 year old women want, right?
I had all done over a month ago because it takes so fucking long for Amazon stuff to get here.
Should be in this packaging Foe
Anything else is a poor substitute.
'Perfect for Sharing' is a load of bollocks though, you can basically inhale the entire pack without noticing.
It may say 'Perfect for Sharing' on the tub, but they're also perfect for clearing the contents alone as you contemplate your failed life on Sunday 3 January each year.
Can you get them the rest of the year? I don't think I've ever seen them outside November-January.
Do you remember when you'd never had fish and chips, Jim?
Maybe I'll make a thread about having cheese footballs for the first time. Although they're not really of such cultural import.
I've never tried, and never will try, them cheese footballs. That Powdery cheese shit is disgusting. Fuck Wotsits.
If we all bought a tub of cheese footballs we should enough activity to get us through the Christmas to New Year lull.
These sort of irk is what I know, and they are magnificent.
That's just a tub of nutrition free sadness.
I can imagine a certain type of Scotsman surviving for months on those and Tennent's.
Disgusting beverage.
Off to Christmas lunch with work today. Doubt I'll hit the pubs later but a merry time shall be had all the same. Hopefully nobody decks anybody.
My Mum is so crap at keeping secrets. Rings me out of nowhere and asks how The Arsenal are doing for 10 minutes before proceeding to investigate where I'll be on Boxing Day. Think I've got tickets to the West Brom match
A 0-0 against Pulis.
It's been a royally shit Christmas thus far. No parties, no presents that I know of, and I'm working round the clock.
It's been absolute yonks since I've gone. Used to go quite a bit when I lived in the country but haven't gone since I moved back.
Think the last time I went was this game in fact
Get me some fucking cheeseballs.
It is the 'present swap' (see: here) tomorrow, and I am once again commanded to stay in and 'be sociable' as if 1) anybody expects me to be; and 2) anybody wants me to be. Then my brother is meant to be coming for the dog to spite my mother, so that should be fun if she finally KICKS OFF.
First present received
I've got my gran one of those digital photo frames that I'll be loading up with old pictures she's told me over the years she'd love to put on display if she had the space. I've spent the last month and a half furtively rifling through photo albums and nabbing those I remembered every time she goes to the toilet.
I wonder if a prescription diuretic has ever facilitated a Christmas gift before.
I'm wrapping presents while the wife watches Strictly Come Dancing tonight.
I'll have a Whisky to make it less depressing.
God I seen an episode of that the other week and it's fucking atrocious. Why are the judges so shouty?
I bought my dad a cooking blow torch as part of his Christmas.
Bought myself one to play with too. Lighting my candles is going to be far more interesting now.
The four year old is raking presents out from under the tree, running into the kitchen where everyone is ignoring him, and shouting 'WHOSE IS THIS ONE?!' He is such a dickhead.