http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/42249084
Come on Joe, you're better than this shite. As for this:
Australian Bayliss, who said he can see no reason to change the team for the third Test, said he had spotted "frailties" in the home side which England can "exploit".
I thought that when I saw it and wondered whether MASSIVELY in it is something the ECB told him to say, or something of the ilk.
Being positive but realistic isn't enough. No no, you want your captain to look legitimately deluded.
Also, this stuff about Root's conversion rate costing us is a fucking myth. Root has a bad conversion rate among the top echelon of batsmen (28%, stats god Smith's is 50%) but guess what, he actually gets to 50 exactly as often as Smith, and for that the two of them are fucking miles out in front of the next current player who is Williamson.
That's right, Root averages 53, despite his shoddy conversion rate. His conversion rate is actually just below Moeen Ali's, but their averages are 20 different, why? Because converting 50s to 100s is NOT what makes Root good. What makes him good is his utterly godlike consistency. He is an excellent player of one type, and to have a good team you need excellent players of multiple types. We have excellent players of two other types, Cook (whose excellence is in his longevity at the crease) and Stokes (who piles them on at a rate). Cook is (so far) out of form in this series, meaning more crease longevity demands are placed on Root, while Stokes is in jail, which means his piling the runs on demands are also on Root.
Numbers 2, 3 and 5 contribute practically nothing, while Moeen and Bairstow are like lower-impact versions of Stokes and batting below the three mentioned twats (perhaps harsh on Stoneman and Malan but whatevs, this is a harsh game) so have much less chance to affect the game.
So the entire demands of top 5 batting, both in batting time and scoring runs, are placed on Root - and he's also captain. Just what is Root supposed to do?
When the lazy cunts who pass for cricket media write their shitty columns, what they should focus on is not the supposed shortcomings of Root, who is England's best player in my lifetime by miles, but the shortcomings of the absolutely useless team-mates whose consistent failure makes us apparently demand Bradman-like numbers from Root and blame him when he only gets 70 every bloody Test.
I don't read a huge amount of the coverage so to learn that Root's batting is getting blame from some quarters baffles me. The problem is that he constitutes about 50% of the backbones in the current batting line up. The other one is shared amongst about three other players on a time-share basis and the rest just do without.
How is his captaincy-stuff faring among the pundits?
Not seen much proper analysis (if there even is any) but I think he's done pretty well in that regard personally - we've had decent plans to most of their batsmen, and kept Warner pretty quiet so far. He didn't help himself by bowling first at Adelaide though.
Our issues stem from 1) Steve Smith and their bowlers being really good, 2) our attack having no depth and 3) our batsmen being shit.
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
This should be posted somewhere where it would get more attention.
There's a lot more where that came from, just get me onto topics like James Vince's selection for this tour, or Jos Buttler playing 18 Tests.
The same Buttler that you advocated selecting ahead of Bairstow on a tour a few years back?
A few years back I was probably still labouring under the common delusion that one day performances have literally any relation to Test match performances whatsoever.
That would probably have been on gloves terms as well, Bairstow has improved a lot in that regard.
Can we expect Jimrage Chapter 3 at the end of this tour?
Quite possibly, the way it's going. Although looking back, having Carberry in there prepared to value his wicket seems like a bit of a golden era.
What is the personal sledging directed at Bairstow? Sounds like it is getting nasty or is it just as bad as it jas always been?
No idea, but if it's anyone other than Smith or Warner dishing it out then it's pretty lol.
Peter 'smart chat' Handscomb sounds a right bellend.
I'm sure at the time I felt a bit sympathetic to his shtick of getting out for 13 runs after what felt like 98 balls because he was at least trying to do it properly.
It really seems to be a bit gross all the old blokes chipping in on twitter this time around.
I'm not saying it is necessarily this, because I don't know, but Bairstow's dad (who was also an England wicketkeeper) committed suicide 20 years ago so if it's anything to do with that (and I don't know what else 'personal' would be for him)... then yeah.
Curfew lifted.
Incident in a bar leading to Duckett suspension within 24 hours.
Jim's boy batting his way into contention against to Blacktown thirds here.
That would be too sad if true.
Fair enough.
Agreed on Bairstow and your general point there. I thought the Bairstow sledging was mainly based around the headbutt but looks like its got more extreme.
I see Keaton Jennings was in the runs in the current warm up game. I hope the selectors don't think the solution to our problems is to recall him.
He's probably better than Vince at 3. Maybe not saying much.
Gaz Ballaz balling in with a mighty 1 to ease himself further from contention.
Both are different kinds of shit. Could probably pick one of us to play and it'll make no difference.
That would be unbelievably dickish. I'm not sure the current Australians are hard-nosed enough to go there, to be honest. They pretend to be hard, but they clearly aren't.
EDIT: To be clear, not that I think they should. They shouldn't. But I don't even think Steve Waugh or Allan Border would've gone that far. Let alone these guys.
I dunno about that. Waugh and AB were hard men, but proper men. I think this lot, especially Warner but also others including the captain, are silly little boys. I'd be less surprised if they did something offensive than if the 90s lot did.
Duckett is a fucking prick, this isn't his first offence on the 'incident in bar' front either. Not sure why he's on the tour in the first place, mind.
I don't know what to make of this tour game. The lineup they have put out is mental. Lawrence as an opener (he's done that in one day cricket but always 4-5 in first class stuff), Ballance at three when he was brought to bat middle order, Moeen at four, and then TC getting 77* down the order.
I would pick him for Perth instead of Overton, but I've almost certainly seen more of him than Trevor Bayliss or any other England selector.
Also, as Ben Duckett, why are you pouring a drink over Jimmy Anderson?
There's a difference between being "hard" and being complete scum. I can't see any player willing to go that low, regardless of nationality.
I will say though, that line of thinking seems to me like quite typical English paranoia.
Isn't Anderson meant to be a quiet character behind the scenes, unlikely to provoke such a thing as well?
To be fair to Duckett, if I had a way to guarantee not being part of this shitshow....
Hopefully Mark Wood's 6-0-37-0 in the tour game ends that nonsense.
Jack Leach 4/104 off 9.5 overs
Cricinfo dropped this one without even a hint of irony.Root is having the roughest ride. He lost his pal, his off-sider, the best all-round cricketer in the country, the talisman and a national inspiration (well he was, before Bristol) in the weeks before the players boarded the plane. There has been more talk of Ben Stokes than of Theresa May, Pep Guardiola and Paul McCartney, who is touring Australia, put together. Even Root cannot have realised quite what a miss Stokes would be. Stokes is the fulcrum, the ringmaster and the game breaker.
National inspiration. Not bad for a player who averages 35 with the bat and ball.
Is this the same Ben Stokes that's been playing for Canterbury in our national comp?
https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/cricke...-for-best-formHe has totalled just 36 runs from three turns at bat and gone 1-144 from 26 overs.
He has an ability to impact games that no one else in our team has. A bit like Flintoff in his prime, but a better bat and worse bowler.
Can't do it on his own, and won't do it consistently, but you want him in the team as opposed to not. That said, we'd still be 2-0 down with him. As I said before this started, we are three batsmen short and adding Stokes would make us still three batsmen short, but with a bit more fire.
If Stokes were there he would, perhaps, have helped turned one of the five defeats we're staring down the barrel of into a draw if some of the others had also mustered a backbone or two together.
Right I've seen enough now. Strauss is fucking useless.
What's he done?
Cook celebrating his 150th in style.
Great family, mind.
Stoneman's dismissal sounds interesting.
What is their utter fixation with Mitch Marsh? Surrey have signed him as well to replace the great man. He must have nudes of almost everyone in cricket.
Fair fucks to Malan, this is a ballsy effort. If he and Stoneman can nail their places down, it just leaves Vince James under a cloud.
Blimey, that's a very un-England recovery.
I've never particularly considered Malan a walking wicket but he feels like he always gets pretty much bang on his average. That's a hell of an effort.
Dreams of waking up to 450-5 and Moeen going berserk, so we'll probably be 350 all out and staring down the barrel.
I see even Stokes is getting his act together.
The Burger King Super Smash looks like everything a T20 comp should be. I think there are two overseas players in the whole tournament, which are Ben Stokes and Sam Curran.
At the other end of the scale, the 'T10' lolfest is getting underway today. It starts off with the 'Kerala Kings' - featuring no Indian players at all, let alone players from Kerala, but instead Eoin Morgan, Liam Plunkett, five West Indians and Paul Stirling - against the 'Bengal Tigers', who have one player, the Fizz, born within a thousand miles of Bengal.
All for good reasons
"In India, Pakistan and Bangladesh, people have time and they can watch all day," Wasim said. "Here, they don't. That is why an hour and a half, especially for youngsters, is good.
"What I would like to see is kids playing in the nets outside, with tennis balls, so they can come and watch, and play cricket as well. Cricket is big in this part of the world."
They should just do away with the game instead so people can get home.
I assume 'here' is the People's Republic of the UAE?
From the first game scorecard it looks like one of the worst things ever conceived. 18 overs of cricket, 6 sixes hit and 5 wickets were taken. What is the point?
Embarrassing
35/6 :/
So, we've fucked this then. Look at the state of that scorecard.
Let's not get the bunting out just yet, couple of wickets here and we're through them.
*Australia finish tomorrow 774/4*
Desperately need wickets tomorrow to swing this back. I can see them matching or passing England's score then us being whittled for about 167.
Yeah we'll have to do something special third innings (and fourth innings) to win. Should draw from here though unless we completely melt down.
Another 100 would have been nice but I see the knives are out for Malan for 'costing us' by getting out for 140 *prepares another rant*
Really?
But yeah, second innings game. Something we have never, ever, been any good at.
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