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Thread: The Cricket Thread

  1. #3601
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Are Indians good at banter?

  2. #3602
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Maybe the worst ever.

  3. #3603
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    There is no 'banter', they just openly fume.

  4. #3604
    Romulus Augustulus ItalAussie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    The best of the many great things about Jimmy Anderson is the utter fury he provokes on Australian and Indian Cricket Twitter. Grown men walking around with drool coming out of every orifice because he averages a bit less at Trent Bridge than at the Gabba.
    In fairness, he's been underwhelming in Australia in the past. Not always, but enough to make you think he's not really as good as he's said to be if that's all you see.

    It's like Ashwin bowling in the UK. If that's all you judged him from, you'd think he was trash(win).

  5. #3605
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Rainy Tuesday in Stoke, etc.

  6. #3606
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    Took 24 wickets in 2010-11. It's not Mitchell Johnson, but they're good figures.

  7. #3607
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Bowled well in India and UAE in 2011-2012 as well. Obviously miles better under cloudy skies with a Dukes ball but who cares? You don't get 501 wickets without being some bowler.

  8. #3608
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Two tests of three done inside three days. Shambles.

  9. #3609
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The other one was a classic though, so it more than evens out.

  10. #3610
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    So are we expecting any changes for the winter? We've no more tests between now and The Ashes, right?

  11. #3611
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Gaz Ballaz to return to the touring squad. How many do they usually take? I'm sure Hales will be 'in the country' at some point for some big bashing.

    Cook, Stoneman, Hameed, Westley, Root, Malan, Ballance, Hales, Stokes, Moeen, Rashid, Bairstow, Buttler, Woakes, Roland-Jones, Broad, Anderson, Wood.

  12. #3612
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Stoneman and Malan have probably done enough, Westley is a question mark.

    I want them to pick Fat Sam Patel, his time has come. Absolutely smashing it of late.

  13. #3613
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Yeah, clocked him in the T20 finals I think it was where he was being erroneously passed off as Jeetan Patel by the commentators.

    They'll take Dawson instead.


  14. #3614
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If Dawson is pointless on any tour, in Australia they could just take a bottle of his hair gel and it would do a similar job.

  15. #3615
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    How's Hameed doing for form at the moment? It was a real shame he got injured.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    If Dawson is pointless on any tour, in Australia they could just take a bottle of his hair gel and it would do a similar job.

  16. #3616
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    He got a marathon 88 the other day against champions elect (ffs) Essex. I reckon they'll take him initially as a backup.

  17. #3617
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    If Dawson is pointless on any tour, in Australia they could just take a bottle of his hair gel and it would do a similar job.
    Atleast they could use that to bowl at in the nets.

  18. #3618
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    feel like pure shit just want hameed back x

  19. #3619
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I see an Ashes "The Verdict Special" on Sky.

    Bob's not even fucking on it.

    Bastards. I want my Verdict back.

    EDIT: It occurs to me this'll be because they've paid these pundits for five days and want their money's worth. But fuck it. I want Bob.

  20. #3620
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Windies absolutely teeing off here.

  21. #3621
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I particularly enjoyed CJ's 66mph wide full toss. What did he expect?

    Fuck me, look at all these right arm seamers.

  22. #3622
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Some effort to be run out there.

    He was barely even jogging.

  23. #3623
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If it was anyone other than Chris Gayle (good old Chris, does everything slowly) you'd say match fixing.

  24. #3624
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    T20 really is a load of bollocks.

  25. #3625
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It really is, and getting worse. West Indies playing the laziest cricket imaginable here. Not interested in running. Spinners bowling it 'into the pitch' the most effective form of bowling by far.

  26. #3626
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    If it was anyone other than Chris Gayle (good old Chris, does everything slowly) you'd say match fixing.
    They've clearly pooled their match fees and gone big on England after 10 overs.

  27. #3627
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    It really is, and getting worse. West Indies playing the laziest cricket imaginable here. Not interested in running. Spinners bowling it 'into the pitch' the most effective form of bowling by far.
    Boundaries are, as a spectator, utterly meaningless. And yet presumably for your T20 fanatics that's what's supposed to be exciting about it.

  28. #3628
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    People are supposed to be impressed that large men can hit a ball over ropes that aren't very far away.

    Once people cotton on that bad bowling is better than good bowling, which unquestionably it is, then it'll really die.

  29. #3629
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I've got it on for something to watch but really it's just absolute nonsense. I think I've decided that I feel about it much the same way I do about basketball when I've tried to watch that, where the only bit that's ever even remotely interesting are the very final stages of a close match.

  30. #3630
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    I've got it on for something to watch but really it's just absolute nonsense. I think I've decided that I feel about it much the same way I do about basketball when I've tried to watch that, where the only bit that's ever even remotely interesting are the very final stages of a close match.
    The exact same reason I have it on. Fuck all else on.

  31. #3631
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Whilst I am absolutely inclined to agree with the sentiment there must be at least a part of you (Jimmy) that can appreciate a format where 50mph dobbers appear to be magic bullets.

  32. #3632
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Whilst I am absolutely inclined to agree with the sentiment there must be at least a part of you (Jimmy) that can appreciate a format where 50mph dobbers appear to be magic bullets.
    Oh absolutely, I'm a genius at it 'irl' with my Michael Yardys. There is also a very enjoyable tactical side to it which gets underplayed somewhat, where every ball is an event. But the professional 'T20 circuit' and associated spinoffs is just horrendous.

    I think I've had enough of Eoin Morgan. Opinionated wanker who has about 3 good games in 25.

  33. #3633
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Nice of us to educate the opposition on what a proper collapse looks like.

  34. #3634
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Ben Stokes appears to be taking the term 'death bowling' a little too literally here.

  35. #3635
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Nice to see Marlon the Muppet stink the place out earlier.

    This lot are quite capable of bombing in the World Cup qualifier I reckon. Afghanistan are mad, bad and dangerous, Zimbabwe have somehow been getting their act together and just recovered Brendon Taylor...

  36. #3636
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quite an interesting finish to the Championship looking likely, largely thanks to this lolfest at Kolpak City: http://www.espncricinfo.com/series/8...sion-One-2017/

    The men from the Costa del Sunbed are already champions of course and their number five, Lawrence, is the future of English middle order batting. Absolutely brilliant player. I'd take him to Australia, but nobody will possibly be brave enough to do so. 'Ooh, you can't debut someone in the Ashes. Ooh, the Australians will tear them apart'. They're an inconsistent cricket team ffs, not the Imperial Guard.

    On which note, Steven Finn's chances have massively soared in the last seven days. 'Ooh, tall bowlers go well in Australia'. Christ help us.

  37. #3637
    Romulus Augustulus ItalAussie's Avatar
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    It's weird to me how soon the Ashes are. Why are we playing pointless ODI matches in India at the moment? Just to demoralize us as a team before you lot arrive?

  38. #3638
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's an absolute race to the bottom.

    Root is going to eat up about 85% of the goodwill he enjoys with the British public by insisting they take Gary Ballance.

  39. #3639
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Mo

    36 off 7 balls at time of going to press.

  40. #3640
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Not a fan of the jamodis but i'm loving this from big Mo.

  41. #3641
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    absolute state of your fielding, lads

  42. #3642
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Marlon Samuels is a genuine disgrace.

  43. #3643
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I apologise to Gaz Ballance, it looks like (as well as him) we're going down the even more surefire success route of James Vince.

  44. #3644
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Stokes and Hales arrested. Beat that, Australia.

  45. #3645
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Sorry, only Stokes arrested. Hales is merely helping police with their enquiries.

  46. #3646
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Sky Sports initial take on that was terrific. He was arrested after an incident in a pub and had to have an injured hand looked at, but there was 'no indication of the nature of the incident'.

  47. #3647
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    And the victim was treated for facial injuries. But no, absolutely no indication as to what's gone on.

  48. #3648
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    I thought we were nailed on for some after hours aggro once we got down under, probably after a surprise win at the Gabba. Surprised Stokes has got involved already, great stuff.

  49. #3649
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Yeah, I want a Malcolm Conn thinkpiece and I want it now.

  50. #3650
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Vince and Ballance on the plane apparently. Give me strength.

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