Weekend Football: 2-5 February

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've just seen Gary Neville retweet David May promoting a particular brand of sausages, so it's time for the weekend football thread.

Friday
Bolton v Bristol City 8pm Sky

Saturday
Burnley v Manchester C 12.30pm Sky
Bournemouth v Stoke
Brighton v West Ham
Leicester v Swansea
Manchester U v Huddersfield
West Brom v Southampton
Arsenal v Everton 5.30pm BT

A full Football League programme
Foreign muck

Sunday
Crystal Palace v Newcastle 2.15pm Sky
Liverpool v Tottenham 4.30pm Sky
Espanyol v Barcelona 3.15pm Sky

Monday
Watford v Chelsea 8.00pm Sky

[Disco]

What kind of sausages?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Grandad's Sausages.

[Kikó]

I'm going tomorrow and it's going to be bitterly cold. I expect ROM to score as he usually does against the goat herders. We'll see if the bellends at that back get another run out.

[Ian]

Do they go well with the wine that May produces? It was vineyards he bought, right?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm going to Reading v Millwall, now I think of it. A thrilling lower mid table clash at the home of Berkshire football.

[Disco]

Sounds like sex offender slang.

[Magic]

Horrible game for us, can't create jack shit as our two creative players are a) banned and b) dog shit out of form. Playing against a set of horrible Welsh bullying phyiscal shite football cunts.

0-3 to Cardiff.

[Reg]

Cheers, Jim. I assume you're being dragged to the Reading game?

Might need to be six points minimum over the next 3 league games to save us from going down. We've scored more than one once in the last 14 league games, but I think tomorrow's the day. Ulloa off the bench to score the winner in a 2-1.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Someone has a season ticket, his dad can't go and he must have got fucking miles down his reserve list. I quite fancy a drive so I said yes. Plus I like out of town supermarkets and regional airport terminals, so why not visit the football ground equivalent.

[Shindig]

I'm dreading Sunday. We can't draw our way to survival.

[Raoul Duke]

"Michy" donning things already in Germany: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/42926545

Maybe Conte is a massive tool?

[Magic]

Kagawa thereom applies.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Michy will score a goal a game in Germany and you watch Aubameyang score fuck all here. Germany is like Holland, everyone plays wide open and that's perfect for that sort of striker.

A bit like England in the 90s. Remember all our gun strikers? It's because they had space. Today someone like Ian Wright would never get a game, for all his qualities. Defoe the last of his type.

[niko_cee]

Why do the BBC call them Cologne in the story but Köln in the league table?

A team that is hopelessly bottom of the league, for some perspective on "Michy's" quality.

[Lewis]

I remember chucking it out there on the old board that Alan Shearer and Michael Owen were our only properly good nineties strikers and all the forty year olds having a fit. I was like the pioneer for those wankers who call people 'centrist dad' on Twitter.

[Shindig]

What's the caveat? Andy Cole would be there for club efforts.

[Magic]

Put money on 2 and 3-0 Cardiff. Get £36 or £52 back respectively.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I remember chucking it out there on the old board that Alan Shearer and Michael Owen were our only properly good nineties strikers and all the forty year olds having a fit. I was like the pioneer for those wankers who call people 'centrist dad' on Twitter.

Even Owen would struggle these days I reckon. He had a world class period from about 99-02, but even then it was all based on getting behind high defences or those that played him onside. Harry Kane scores at a much higher rate today, has ever been 'through on goal' in his career?

[Giggles]

Put money on 2 and 3-0 Cardiff. Get £36 or £52 back respectively.

Last minute Leeds consolation

[Magic]

Feel free to quote and lol, but there's no way we're scoring today.

[Lewis]

Owen being consistently quality for England leads me to think he would be fine. Maybe not in a PRESSING team, but he was much more skillful than people tend to remember, so he would easily score thirty a season for someone like United.

[Giggles]

I didn't realise Aaron Lennon was still playing. Did he not go mad?

[Lewis]

I wonder how many more Champions' Leagues United would have won with Nicky Butt anchoring a three man midfield with Keane and Scholes, Beckham and Giggs cutting in from the left and right respectively (and tracking back), and Dion Dublin bringing them all into play.

[John]

Burnley have scored eight goals at home all season. Their fans must routinely die of boredom in the stands.

[Kikó]

I wonder how many more Champions' Leagues United would have won with Nicky Butt anchoring a three man midfield with Keane and Scholes, Beckham and Giggs cutting in from the left and right respectively (and tracking back), and Dion Dublin bringing them all into play.

This happened in an alternative universe. Replace Beckham with Terry Cooke.

[Lewis]

Alex Ferguson goes to a coaching seminar after Euro 96 and gets approached by a young Rafael Benitez, whose radical ideas on defence and fitness coaching earn him a spot on the coaching staff. 'Rafa', as he is still affectionately known by United fans (taking Everton down before coaching England to glory in 2004 and 2006 only solidified his reputation), becomes assistant manager within a year after presenting Ferguson with a list of facts which ruthlessly expose Brian Kidd's previously unnoticed uselessness.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Brian Kidd is STILL on the City staff. It's remarkable.

[Lewis]

His pension pot must be MASSIVE.

[Waffdon]

Ederson

[Giggles]

Twitter is melting down because Pogba is 'dropped'. It's Huddersfield.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck.

I was in process of putting £5 on the draw and they score.

[CJay]

Burnley have been excellent today. Sterling's miss shortly before was a shocker, but it's pretty common for him to fluff his lines in those kind of situations.

[randomlegend]

City dropping points, the collapse starts here, were gonna win the league

Etc.

[Lewis]

You always see Ederson trending during City games because he controlled a difficult pass and people want to look clever.

[CJay]

You always see Ederson trending during City games because he controlled a difficult pass and people want to look clever.

He made a fantastic save from Lennon, which is probably what people were talking about.

[Lewis]

And then he flapped at the winner like a mess. He's Sergio Romero with a longer kick.

[Waffdon]

No ‘keeper is saving that winner.

[Magic]

Sellick.

Killie had more shots too.

[Giggles]

Didn't know Brighton had bought Hugill.

[Magic]

We bid £8m for him apparently.

Also lol @ Bournemouth.

[Lewis]

'Alexis' needs to do less.

[Magic]

Lol so my 3-0 bet is looking good. Still, down to 10 and another 45 to go. Cash out?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Reading worst team I have seen for many years.

[Giggles]

Reading worst team I have seen for many years.

You should watch one of our internationals.

[mo]

I would, Magic.

[Magic]

Jesus only £8? Cunts. I'll maybe hold until the 60th.

[phonics]

'Alexis' needs to do less.

Has he done the; cut inside for a shot, have that blocked off and run across the entire 18 yard line rather than pass it yet?

That one's a classic.

[Shindig]

Inside the bottom three as it stands. YAY!

[Magic]

Lol Cardiff OG.