They've blocked a town in?
They've blocked a town in?
Nah, the council info on the road closures was very misleading. Implying the entire side of the river I was on was closed to pedestrians.
Tough weekend in-store, I fear, which could lead to a self implosion on Monday.
It’s my works Christmas party tonight but I’m not going. It’s in Bolton which is about an hours drive so either I’d have to not drink so I could drive, or pay over the top for a taxi. And not drinking really isn’t an option when they’re going watching a Take That tribute at the Macron stadium. Plus I’d have been the only bloke with eight women. No thanks.
So instead my wife has gone out for tea with some of her mates. She’s drove so won’t be having a drink, but I’d already volunteered myself for “night feeds” before finding this out. I shouldn’t moan really considered she does all the others, but it’s still not good. Hopefully the baby will sleep from six til one, have a bottle, then sleep from two til five - if not a bit later.
Problem is my wife’s then out all day tomorrow, going for a spa day with the same mates from tonight. And then after all day getting angry at a baby, I’m doing the night feeds again.
Thankfully Sunday is a day of good football and then an early night where I don’t have to do any of the night feeds and I’m going to Chester at 11am Monday for a whole day of drinking, eating and having fun in pubs and Christmas markets. Really can’t wait!
Tuesday shall be spent sorta hungover but I won’t care cos I’m off all week, wahoooo!
I'm a twit
Baz' main complaint here seems to be hanging out with his own child for 36 hours.
Yeah, it's not 1950.
On my own.Originally Posted by phonics
I'm a twit
My Mrs is out for her Christmas do tomorrow and our little one is currently cutting 4 teeth and sleeping like an absolute bell end, so I feel your pain, Baz.
Mine's on hers and I'm just waiting on the call that she'll make her own way home so I can open my beer.
I tried to hold my little nephew the other day and he wasn't having it. To be fair, he'd not long woken up and he had no idea who I was.
It's our first festive 12 pubs tomorrow. The regular summer installment has been going for 4 years now, and from its humble beginnings as my mate, his brother and a couple of other weirdos I don't know traipsing around Rugby from alright pub to alright pub, it's grown to the 50 person behemoth we had this year. Not gonna be that good tomorrow because I'm running it as a non-canon spin off with begrudging endorsement from the main guy who has more mates and stuff. Should be alright, though. I'll bore you all with a few photos tomorrow. x
Teenagers are wise to it these days.
First alcohol free weekend in what feels like years. I’ll probably shitebag it and be in the pub from 12 for the football on Sunday
Going to Inverness tomorrow for work do. Yes under 3ft of snow.
Did you spend all your money on gear or something?First alcohol free weekend in what feels like years. I’ll probably shitebag it and be in the pub from 12 for the football on Sunday
From everything you've said about your job I can only imagine that do will be horrendous. Sounds like a place they'll do a couple of beer tokens with only two choices to redeem them on.
It’s December, init. I’ve stilk not bought presents and there’s about to be 10+ night outs from next week onwards.
Gear really isn’t that expensive when you know folk.
I'm glad I don't.
Ł20 at mos if there’s a few of ye. Get onit, old man.
Yep 3 tokens to spend on fucking Carling or Bacardi, a shitty free meal and a hotel room.
Free stay isn't bad going.
Carling is overpriced even when it’s free. Utter piss. Far worse than Fosters.
100 times this.
12 pubs was not a great success on a personal level. Got to pub number 7 and was fucking trashed, and just backdoored it and went to bed. Was really good fun up to that point though and I think everyone else had fun.
Actually, the dreadful behaviour of my friend the previous weekend is probably worth repeating.
My mate (Friend A) invited me to his housewarming in London, and also invited my other mate (Friend B). They're not really friends with each other, but Friend B invited Friend A to his own Halloween party as one of the mass facebook invites and Friend A happened to be in the midlands so actually turned up, so invited back out of politeness, despite knowing him to be a bit of a liability. Friend B called his bluff basically, and I absolutely wouldn't have brought him along as a plus one.
Anyway, Friend B turns up at my house on Saturday morning to get the train absolutely reeking of booze, revealing he was still "half cut" from the night before. He garbled some excuse about having a stressful phone conversation with his brother's fiance or something, then I had to tell him he wasn't allowed "train beers". I quite sincerely told him Friend A wouldn't let him in his fucking flat if he turned up wasted, and I wasn't convinced drinking tinnies at midday still pissed from the night before was conducive to being a polite party guest.
Anyway, we arrive in London, and Friend B pissed off to meet some other London mates, and I hung out with Friend A and some other people.
It gets to 8PM, and there's about 8 of us at the party at this point, and I've fucked up a bit. I've had like 4 poncey ales from the Oddbins in Crouch End on an empty stomach and i'm starting to feel a bit tipsy. Friend B arrives and is actually really sober, really charming, and actually breaks the weird school disco male/female divide by going over and chatting and stuff that normal humans do. Thought "shit, maybe he'll be well behaved and I'll be the drunken idiot?" (spoiler alert - no).
Friend B brought 4 cans of Grolsch and a litre bottle of vodka. Trajectory of the evening not entirely surprising really. Was fine during the cans. Then he got into the vodka and it went really bad. I only remember bits and pieces because I was fairly drunk and trying to avoid him, but he:
- kept inserting himself into ongoing conversations and trying to offer his own unsolicited opinions, or saying total bollocks like SOOOO err like ifya had to be...errr...an ANIMAL, what animal would you be yeah?
- kept stealing the drinks of other party guests
- got so creepy that a girl tried to poliely inform him that "you can't keep putting your arms around girls, they don't like it"
- generally pissing everyone off so much that apparently Friend A spent the whole evening fielding questions along the lines of "what the fuck is wrong with that guy". one person apparently said something like "it is so uplifting seeing someone managing to go to a house party despite having learning difficulties"
The peak of the whole performance was at about 3am when everyone had gone home except me and Friend A sat chatting on the sofa next to a table full of half empty drinks, another guy asleep next to us, and Friend B asleep on an armchair in the opposite corner of the room. Friend B sorta woke up but not really, and in a drunken stupor/sleep walk, spent about 5 minutes putting his jacket on, staggered to his feet, stared at the two of us, before sorta lunging across the room, jumping through the fucking table knocking drinks flying, and landed face down on top of us on the sofa and immediately fell asleep.
The next morning he just started drunkenly chatting absolute bollocks to the other random guy (very polite and easy going, sorta like how I imagine Mike would be at a party stuck with a dickhead), and I just couldn't hack it so sat in the kitchen and tried to ignore it. The previously easy going lad, after about 30 minutes of being asked how he knew everyone at the party over and over again came through to the kitchen and mimed shooting himself in the head. The next two hours were spent with me, this guy, Friend A and Friend A's girlfriend trying to ignore Friend B, and figuring out what to do.
We'd decided to go to a cafe, get breakfast, then I'd take Friend B back to the midlands. Then suddenly the other guy came through from the kitchen and said "err, so, he's got into the vodka". Fucking twat had drank the remaining ~200ml of vodka he had from the night before, as well as some of Friend A's girlfriend's own personal stash. We didn't want to leave him alone in the flat, but also didn't want to take him to the cafe. In the end we basically told him he was a fucking mess and that he had to get a train home, and we'd walk via the tube station on the way to the cafe. Instead he simply refused to go home, and kept telling me to kill myself. He had the 3 bloody maries, paid the bill, then left. Thus ends my shit story.
Also the Friend A Friend B key was a bit weird but whatever.
'Do you still keep in touch with Oggy?'
inb4 someone says he's an alcoholic and it's sad, he's not and it isn't. he can go weeks without drinking, he's just really shit at it.
I'd cut him lose. He might not be an alcoholic but he sounds like a fucking dose.
Before I make a decision on whose side I'm on in this I need to know if the person using the word 'uplifting' was being serious or ironic.
i was paraphrasing, they might have said "inspiring" for all i know. the way it was relayed to me it was totally sincere, though.
Well, atleast Friend B isn’t the worst person in the story. Welcome to London.
Also, If I had to be an Animal - it’d be some rich families dog. A house dog, that is, not one with Kennels.
Sounds like he's the only one who knows how to party.
What a lad.
I'm a twit
I went through the wrong doors at Heron and inadvertently stopped three Waff-types pinching armfuls of selection boxes. They walked into me, and I just stood there because I'm not going to move for some dweebs, but then they started putting them back before skulking out all red-faced. lol at them, and lol at me not thinking quickly enough to pretend I meant it and getting my sweets for free.
Hanging out my arse after a surprisingly fun work outing last night. 6 of us; me, four other 20-somethings, and the mum of one of the girls. Just got smashed and bitched about colleagues and the mum embarrassing her daughter with really gross sex stories. Good stuff.
I've just been given a tab ticket. Let the games begin
Oh mother of the sweet divine Jesus the hangover. I ate a fry 20 minutes ago and I don't remember one bit of it.
Fuck up.
I was in Guildford to Christmas shop, and I saw some bloke give 40 quid to a pair of buskers playing flamenco guitar (they were brilliant, but still). I then got back home and someone had parked straight across the drive so I couldn't go in. I stopped at the end of the road, waited for her to come back and gave her the full Alex Ferguson, although slightly reined in because it was a black woman and I didn't want someone to be secretly filming from an upstairs window and then releasing it on YouTube as RACIST SHAME OF HOME COUNTIES: BLACK WOMAN ABUSED BY PRIVILEGED DRIVE-HAVING BREXIT VOTER.
Hey lads it's my birthday today. Me and my good female friend who I was shagging last year went to see my mate's band play at some sketchy pub last night. The band played in front of a bunch of tables and chairs which gave it a real Phoenix Nights vibe which I appreciated. Got a blowjob last night and this morning from aforementioned lady as well. Solid birthday so far.
She's a good female friend.
JUst a blowjob? What’s the point?
For her maybe. He gets the same result, just cleaner.
Yeah I phrased that a bit weirdly, didn't I? She is though, and not just for the occasional drunken blowjobs.
I'm in Greece with my parents until next weekend.
My brother is meant to be flying over with his girlfriend tomorrow. He's being evasive and I'm suddenly concerned he's not going to show up.
If he does make it, it's going to be four days of him and my dad shouting at each other. Happy happy joy joy.
Went out last night, and got home at about four. There was still barely a table to be had anywhere when I left.
η φτώχεια θέλει καλοπέραση, as they say.
Ended up in meat liquor for dinner last night with a few mates (horrendous cuisine really) then in the pub we met a couple of others who I haven't seen in ages. Classic descent into hell and leaving their house at 4am. So much for a lie in this weekend.
First humanist wedding I was ever at today. Nice short ceremony.
My mates 30th weekend celebrations (although he had a surprise party last weekend) have resulted in his wife booking zorb/bubble football and put me in charge of sorting it out. Managed to get twelve players, including the birthday boy himself, our @Mike, forum favourite Tom, Mike's fancy man and a few others.
Obviously gonna knock everyone out cos I'm solid.
Most of us have played it before. The birthday boy hasn't.
Here's a video:
Then we're going out drinking and watching football in pubs.
I'm a twit
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