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Thread: What shall your weekend bring?

  1. #1751
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I've never done it, dickhead.

  2. #1752
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Bastard.
    I genuinely apologise. Was all in the spirit of gaining members. Sorry.
    I'm a twit

  3. #1753
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    We've had a bloke in doing some painting this afternoon, and there must have been all of thirty seconds between him asking me whether I watch conspiracy theory videos on YouTube to him telling me that he nearly 'came to blows' with his brother-in-law over whether Auschwitz was what they say it is.

    'He said "I've been", but - and I'm not saying I agree with it - actually you've seen some buildings and heard a story.'
    'Well, yeah. I don't really watch them.'

  4. #1754
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Out tonight straight from work until whenever I roll up at my front door. Was meant to be going to Tony Macaroni away for the football tomorrow but kinda decided to go to a birds house instead. Potential punching of the year may occur.

  5. #1755
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    We've had a bloke in doing some painting this afternoon, and there must have been all of thirty seconds between him asking me whether I watch conspiracy theory videos on YouTube to him telling me that he nearly 'came to blows' with his brother-in-law over whether Auschwitz was what they say it is.

    'He said "I've been", but - and I'm not saying I agree with it - actually you've seen some buildings and heard a story.'
    'Well, yeah. I don't really watch them.'
    You should point him towards David Irving.

  6. #1756
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Why are you going to punch her? Or is she punching you?

  7. #1757
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    You should point him towards David Irving.
    I e-mailed him once and he never replied, so he can fuck off if he thinks I'm selling his books for him.

  8. #1758
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Why are you going to punch her? Or is she punching you?

    Shaggin' mate.

  9. #1759
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I e-mailed him once and he never replied, so he can fuck off if he thinks I'm selling his books for him.
    It's a busy job denying the holocaust.

  10. #1760
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    He was alright before he went mental.

  11. #1761
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Out tonight straight from work until whenever I roll up at my front door. Was meant to be going to Tony Macaroni away for the football tomorrow but kinda decided to go to a birds house instead. Potential punching of the year may occur.
    Football > birds.

  12. #1762
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Maybe

    I might have fucked up anyway

  13. #1763
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Shaggin' mate.
    Well of course.

  14. #1764
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Maybe

    I might have fucked up anyway
    I'm probably going to the Brig o Tay for the game before Edinburgh later. It could have been a wonderful meet.

  15. #1765
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Naw idea what that is, mate, but it sounds dreadful.

  16. #1766
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    somewhere on this side of the Tay.

  17. #1767
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    We've had a bloke in doing some painting this afternoon, and there must have been all of thirty seconds between him asking me whether I watch conspiracy theory videos on YouTube to him telling me that he nearly 'came to blows' with his brother-in-law over whether Auschwitz was what they say it is.

    'He said "I've been", but - and I'm not saying I agree with it - actually you've seen some buildings and heard a story.'
    'Well, yeah. I don't really watch them.'


    Reminds me of the first driving instructor I had. Turns out they have a cure for cancer and it’s sea salt. Yep, sea salt. He went on to explain that theres an Easten European dr that discovered it and put it on YouTube because the NHS et al were covering it up. I asked why the NHS would rather spend thousands on Chemo, Radiotherapy and aftercare than £3 on a salt shaker but he just explained about ‘big-pharma’.

    I paid for 10 hours with that mental cunt.

  18. #1768
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    My dad's the same. Get a few beers into him and he turns into Konspiracy Kiko. It's so easy to make casual linkages to miss the actual corruption in the world. I should just tell him to pick up a copy of private eye if he fancies seeing "the truth".

  19. #1769
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    I'm probably going to the Brig o Tay for the game before Edinburgh later. It could have been a wonderful meet.
    I'd love to see how that would go.

  20. #1770
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I would as well tbh. Meeting waff and magic is on my bucket list.

  21. #1771
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The SEETHE when Magic talks you into lending him a grand, only to sober up and realise you made the cheque out to 'Magic Johnson'.

  22. #1772
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Tragic Custard moar like.

  23. #1773
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    After making an absolute embarrassment of myself a couple of weekends ago, I haven't had a drop of booze since September. Easy enough as a pint of ale on a random Tuesday night at the pub in Rugby isn't exactly that tempting, but tonight will be my first challenge. Going to a few bars in Leicester with a couple of people I don't really know that well (including a girl I really fancy). Weird dynamic as she won't be drinking as she's driving, and the other guy is gonna be drinking. I'd feel bad for him if he was getting tanked solo, but would feel bad for girl if she had to babysit us both. And I'm not sure if I even want to drink. What do I do, lads?

  24. #1774
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Get tanked you wet used bit of toilet roll.

  25. #1775
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Go out with the mental Romanian you cunt.

  26. #1776
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I was near Rugby I should have met with Igor just to sniff good beard.

  27. #1777
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Sniff his beard. But both work.

  28. #1778
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Get tanked you wet used bit of toilet roll.
    Good point. I think I'll take the safe option and just "have a few".

    And @Spikey M, she was never really fit enough to justify tolerating her insanity and no sex before marriage stance. Moved to Birmingham now, anyway.

  29. #1779
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I was near Rugby I should have met with Igor just to sniff good beard.
    You can recreate the scent by throwing a load of coriander in an ashtray. Probably. Where were you?

  30. #1780
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    You let THE ONE slip away.

    The Romanian was brilliant.

  31. #1781
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    You can recreate the scent by throwing a load of coriander in an ashtray. Probably. Where were you?
    Aston.

  32. #1782
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I wonder what Zimidy is up to these days.

  33. #1783
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    You let THE ONE slip away.

    The Romanian was brilliant.
    I guess on one level I sort of admired the audacity of opining "I have finding dating hard in this country, my friend try make me go date with PAKISTANI, ugh, YUCK, can you believe?" about 5 minutes into our date.

  34. #1784
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    How many Pakistanis have you dated yourself?

  35. #1785
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    Was she 9?

  36. #1786
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    How many Pakistanis have you dated yourself?
    None but I really fancied my mate's Sri Lankan flatmate. Close enough, right? Also I'd probably fuck Misbah Ul Hak.

  37. #1787
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Sri Lankans their the cunts that are proper dark eh I'd imagine their poons to be like those endless crevasses in Iceland

  38. #1788
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Kerry Katona's septum?

  39. #1789
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Sri Lankans their the cunts that are proper dark eh I'd imagine their poons to be like those endless crevasses in Iceland
    Sri Lankans aren't dark, you're thinking of Bangladeshis.

    Edit: a quick google shows I'm wrong and I just went to school with a bunch of light skinned Sri Lankan's.

  40. #1790
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The Tamils are dark.

  41. #1791
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Phonics being wrong is as sure as day comes.

  42. #1792
    I used to be funny.
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    I bought some pans today because my old ones had holes in them. Turns out they don't last forever.

  43. #1793
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    I’m going seeing Greg Davies tonight. I’ve never seen a live stand up before.

  44. #1794
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    Sit at the front.

  45. #1795
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Live comedy is good. Wouldn't normally do British comedians but I'd say Davies is funny.

  46. #1796
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I've only been to one, Louis CK at the O2.

    Didn't get to see him wank though.

  47. #1797
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I've only been to one, Louis CK at the O2.

    Didn't get to see him wank though.
    I bet you haven’t, you just wanted to make use of the timing.
    I'm a twit

  48. #1798
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike View Post
    I’m going seeing Greg Davies tonight. I’ve never seen a live stand up before.
    It's ok, can be reaaaaallllly hit or miss. There's nothing worse than being dragged to see some unfunny, wretched cunt to fulfil social obligations. It may well be the worst 2 hours of your life.

  49. #1799
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    I bet you haven’t, you just wanted to make use of the timing.
    I did.

    I went a few years ago, it was pretty good.

    I also saw Charlie Brooker getting a hot dog or something too.

  50. #1800
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    It's ok, can be reaaaaallllly hit or miss. There's nothing worse than being dragged to see some unfunny, wretched cunt to fulfil social obligations. It may well be the worst 2 hours of your life.
    The warm up act wasn’t great but Greg Davies was really funny, my face hurt from laughing!

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