17/18 Half Season Report

[CJay]

I enjoy reading these, and I’m up early with a cranky 10 day old baby (some TTH news for you) so figured I’d start this thread. Will get my Liverpool thoughts gathered and typed out at some point.

OVERVIEW:

My Team is:
Expectations (at start of season):
View on performance:
Any other comments:

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is:
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5):
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No):
Areas they have performed well in:
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in:
Any other comments:

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5):
Best Result of the season:
Best performance of the season:
Worst result of the season:
Worst performance of the season:
Any other comments:


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season:
Pleasant surprise of the season:
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season:
Underperformer of the season:
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season:
Outright worst player of the season:
Any other comments:

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season:
Worst signing this season:
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5):
In January I'd like to see us sign:
In January I think we'll sign:
I'd like to see us sell:
I think we'll sell:
Any other comments:

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations:
What I think we'll achieve:

[Baz]

Who’s sitting there on Christmas morning filling this in?

[Giggles]

Who’s sitting there on Christmas morning filling this in?

I've fuck all to do until the dinner so I'd have plenty of time. I presume anyone without spawn will be the same.

It'll also still be there tomorrow, and the next day, etc. I don't think the Christmas morning completion was a prerequisite.

[Mike]

[Deletes post]

[Shindig]

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Newcastle United
Expectations (at start of season): Avoid relegation.
View on performance: Almost as expected. I was hoping for some momentum coming from the league win but this season is proving tough.
Any other comments: We're not getting new owners.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Rafab Enitez
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 3
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): Nope. There's a chance he walks in the summer anyway.
Areas they have performed well in: The dressing room's still behind him and we've not lost any more players. Considering Gayle was almost gone in August, that's been alright.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: More digs at Ashley in the press conferences.
Any other comments: The 'project' is only good if you've got the cash to build it.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 3
Best Result of the season: 1-1 v Liverpool
Best performance of the season: 3-0 v West Ham
Worst result of the season: 1-4 v Man Utd. Capitulations like that and the one against Chelsea don't bode well for tomorrow's game.
Worst performance of the season: As above.
Any other comments: Those two results aside, defeats have been narrow. There's some hope to come from that, although our draws and victories have been high-scoring, of late. The defence is iffy.


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Matt Ritchie
Pleasant surprise of the season: Gayle scoring in two big games after looking very much done with us.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: As above.
Underperformer of the season: Mitrovic. Our frontline looks a little leaderless and, as the club's international striker and headcase, I would've wanted him to put himself about more.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: I dunno. The squad's much of a muchness. I still hate Shelvey and he's not dependable.
Outright worst player of the season: ???
Any other comments: Again, we're a relatively weak squad.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Lejuene, I guess.
Worst signing this season: Lejuene, I guess. Seriously, I've watched bugger all of us this year. Joselu's not going to be a 10 goal a season man.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 2
In January I'd like to see us sign: Daft Arab owners.
In January I think we'll sign: Kennedy's already coming in from Chelsea on loan. We might get one more deal like that and then we're strapped in for the rest of the season.
I'd like to see us sell: Nobody. I'd keep Saivet around for the free kicks.
I think we'll sell: Jesus Gamez. Has he been injured, out of favour or both?
Any other comments: More players > less players.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Avoid relegation. Just.
What I think we'll achieve: Avoid relegation. Just.

[igor_balis]

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Shit
Expectations (at start of season): Fuck all
View on performance: Awful
Any other comments: We're going down

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: A dickhead
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 1
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): Yes
Areas they have performed well in: Not being Pulis
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: All
Any other comments: Fuck off Pardew

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 0
Best Result of the season: Our last league victory, when we beat Burnley in AUGUST
Best performance of the season: Arsenal away maybe
Worst result of the season: Most of them
Worst performance of the season: Most of them
Any other comments: No pace, no creativity, hopeless


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Grzegorz Krychowiak
Pleasant surprise of the season: Sam Field, I guess?
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: N/A
Underperformer of the season: Most of them
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Livermore
Outright worst player of the season: Livermore or maybe HR-K
Any other comments: Shite

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Krychowiak
Worst signing this season: Jay Rod
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 1.5
In January I'd like to see us sign: A striker and an attacking midfielder
In January I think we'll sign: A substandard replacement for Evans
I'd like to see us sell: Livermore, Robson-Kanu
I think we'll sell: Evans
Any other comments: We have squandered almost a decade in the top flight through awful transfer policy over the last few seasons, aided and abetted ably by Pulis. Our squad is full of fucking shit DMs,

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Relegation
What I think we'll achieve: 20th

[John]

I'd like to point out that I called West Brom's business being pants in August, when they were going to be the surprise of the season.

[Spikey M]

West Brom’s job is to be frustrating cunts that do nothing all game, have a flat back 9 and fluke the odd 1 nil through long balls to the poor cunt up top. Any departure from that was always going to spell disaster. Which is good. Because they’re a fucking horrible team to watch.

[Lewis]

The City fan in the Guardian review quoting 'the author of "Pep Confidential"' finished my football off for the year.

[igor_balis]

West Brom’s job is to be frustrating cunts that do nothing all game, have a flat back 9 and fluke the odd 1 nil through long balls to the poor cunt up top. Any departure from that was always going to spell disaster. Which is good. Because they’re a fucking horrible team to watch.

That's the problem with Pulis-esque short-termism. It doesn't take long to turn your team into a defensive side that shits the place out to grind out results, but it's fucking well hard to go back in the other direction. We've fucked it up strategically since we sacked Clarke, really. We had a successful, well-balanced, creative side, with Mulumbu and Yacob kicking people, and 4 blokes in front passing it and scoring goals and stuff. Since then we've hired incompetent dickheads like Pepe Mel and enemy of football Tony Pulis, and the squad in FIVE FUCKING YEARS still has Chris "Chrissy" Brunt as one of our most potent attacking threats, and we've signed people like Hal Robson-Kanu, Jake Livermore and James Chester. We absolutely deserve to go down, and it's frustrating (though I know I shouldn't really give a shit) that most neutrals will just remember us as boring shit-kicking cunts, whereas with a bit of common sense and long-term thinking we should be an established mid-table side playing decent football.

I know we're a pretty small club (whatever that really means), but it's largely irrelevant with all the tv money.

[igor_balis]

People do sort of assume that fans of teams like West Brom have delusions of grandeur, and saying we should be grateful when we finish 15th on 45 points every season with people like Pulis, but whilst that might make sense on a business level, I really couldn't give a fucking shit. As far as I'm concerned, you should do at least one of the following:

a) make a real effort to do something in the cups
b) play decent football
c) bring through young talent

If you're just going through the motions every year, grinding out points with established average players and playing reserves in the early rounds of the cup to focus on #40 points, relegation would be sweet release quite frankly. The last few years have made me question what the point is in following a team like the Albion.

I think deep down it's partly that since my dad's stroke, there's a lot of repressed sadness that he's too disabled for us to go to games, drinking tinnies on the train, pints in pubs in Birmingham, and generally having a laugh with West Brom just being an outlet for our father-son relationship. Bit bleak, sorry lads. Merry Christmas.

[phonics]

Yeah I was going to say, prior to Dan Ashworth going to the FA, they were quite a tidy side for their level. Jonathan Greening, Zoltan Gera and the like would keep it on the ground. Absolutely gone to shit since then.

[mugbull]

I'd like to point out that I called West Brom's business being pants in August, when they were going to be the surprise of the season.

Nice!

[Jimmy Floyd]

Congrats, CJ.

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Chelsea
Expectations (at start of season): Top 4
View on performance: Pretty decent
Any other comments: No disgrace in not retaining, given everything.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Antonio Conte
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 4
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No
Areas they have performed well in: Hair renewal, gesticulation, and he's quite good at altering the shape within games. It's become quite a tactically flexible side.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: He often starts the wrong midfield in games, even when it's quite obvious that (say) Fabregas in a two isn't going to work.
Any other comments: He'll probably do a runner once Real Madrid tire of Zidane, or once someone in Italy has silly money to pay.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 4
Best Result of the season: Probably the win over United, but the 2-1 win over Spurs was important at the time as it stopped the wheels from coming off a bit.
Best performance of the season: We were dominant against United, so that.
Worst result of the season: I guess the City one, but a 1-0 defeat to them looks a handy result now. Opening day wasn't the best.
Worst performance of the season: Away in Rome, apparently, although I didn't see it.
Any other comments: For the main we've been pretty good and surprisingly consistent.


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Hazard gets the headlines and Kanté does his thing, but our true best player has been Azpilicueta.
Pleasant surprise of the season: Andreas Christensen - makes the odd mistake but I like him a lot.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Azpilicueta and, to some extent, Morata.
Underperformer of the season: David Luiz was crap before hairpiece nobbled him, and Bakayoko started promisingly but has got steadily worse.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Batshuayi isn't exactly 'shit', but he's not of the required standard and never will be.
Outright worst player of the season: I don't know if we have a worst player. It's probably Bakayoko, I guess.
Any other comments: In a world where we don't back our managers and consequently they understandably never give kids a chance, our decision to have such a thin squad is quite baffling. We should really be net adding three in January.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Morata, unless you count Christensen returning from loan.
Worst signing this season: Bakayoko, thus far. He doesn't really know what he is as a footballer. I'm also not terribly convinced by Zappacosta.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3 - Morata is great and I'd like to have sex with him, but the others have yet to convince.
In January I'd like to see us sign: We could do with another wing back, and a fill-in version of Kanté because we were so much worse without him. Also a centre forward who can hold the ball up (unlike Batshuayi who is League Two level in that regard) because Alvaro appears to always be carrying little knocks. We don't really need massive names, but more options in the squad.
In January I think we'll sign: Probably some Italian twonk called Giovanni Ravioli and a Brazilian twat with one name who will never play.
I'd like to see us sell: David Luiz might as well cut to the chase and go to China. Christensen has bummed him out of a spot. Cahill/Rudiger fight for the other spot, you'd never see DL and AC in the same lineup.
I think we'll sell: Dunno, Batshuayi will probably go somewhere whether loan or permanently.
Any other comments: Marina Granovskaia runs our transfer policy more or less as an absolute dictator. I have no idea whether she has the first clue what she is doing, but at first glance it doesn't make any sense - they deny the managers players that they want and tell them to promote youth for long-term results, but at the same time if a manager has a bad two months of short-term results they are instantly fired. The truth is that the club is an elaborate money-laundering exercise for Abramovich and a few of his cronies in the Russian elite, but of course you'll never hear anyone say that.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: 3rd and a trophy
What I think we'll achieve: 3rd and no trophy

[Kikó]

Christmas is over now so it's time for the sorry trudge into new year.

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Man U (and a bit of FC united)
Expectations (at start of season): Challenge for the league.
View on performance: Good on the most part but the squad still contains the dregs of Ferguson, Moyes and van Gaal.
Any other comments: The manager doesn't help himself with his cowardly set ups away at places like Liverpool. I think he knows the team are beyond repair and he tries to limit their ability to self harm with negative tactics. Case in point with the Herrera sub on the weekend. The football is unmistakeably better than the suicide dross from van looney.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Mourinho
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 4
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No (give it Giggseh until the end of the season)
Areas they have performed well in: We've scored loads more.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: Big games.
Any other comments: We have the beginnings of a team but Mourinho has little trust for any of them. He doesn't help himself with some of the selections but generally we've been able to "beat the shit"

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 3
Best Result of the season: Arsenal was probably the most fun.
Best performance of the season: There's been a few 4-0s this year that have been great.
Worst result of the season: Liverpool 0-0
Worst performance of the season: Liverpool
Any other comments: We've progressed in the CL with ease which is a nice change from recent seasons. The league cup was symptomatic of the club - lazy and entitled. The elephant in the room is city's amazing performance.


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Pogba
Pleasant surprise of the season: Young
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Young
Underperformer of the season: Rashford
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Matteo Darmien
Outright worst player of the season: Herrera
Any other comments: Really without Pogba, the midfield doesn't connect with the forwards. Maybe I'm pinning the blame on his replacements in Herrera but every time he comes on, we go to crap. He is average at attack and defense which makes Pogba missing even more acute. Young has had a renaissance and is stand out in most games for his work rate and delivery. Rashford is suffering from being a kid and being in rotation. Martial has been good on the whole and worked well with big Rom.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Rom.
Worst signing this season: Lindelof
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3
In January I'd like to see us sign: Mahrez
In January I think we'll sign: No One
I'd like to see us sell: Darmien, Rojo, Smalling, Herrera
I think we'll sell: No One
Any other comments: We need a CM and we need better centre backs. We need 3-4 in the summer (again)

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Champions League qualification
What I think we'll achieve: 3rd-4th

[ScousePig]

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Sunderland
Expectations (at start of season): I really had no idea after ten years in the Premier League, and considering in the past we've generally done well in/walked the Championship. If I was pushed for an answer I'd maybe say top half.
View on performance: Mostly abysmal.
Any other comments: Simon Grayson was one of the most clueless and least respected managers I've seen at the club. To appoint Coleman in our situation was a it of a coup, even though I've never been a big fan.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Chris Coleman.
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 3.5.
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No.
Areas they have performed well in: Bringing an upbeat feeling around the club that we haven't had for a while. Coleman has a bit of charisma and personality, something which our previous managers Dour Dave and Relegrayson had zero of. He's been a much needed breath of fresh air so far. He's changed our formation to three at the back and wing backs, been more consistent with team selection and given the players a bit more confidence and belief. They actually appear to respect him, which makes a change. He's also improved us ten fold defensively.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: Well he needs to get us out of the bottom three. He's very positive with his team selections and substitutions, but hasn't always been getting it right. Playing Honeyman in front of McGeady and not bringing the latter on at all in the last game, for example.
Any other comments: He's taken on a tough job from a respectable position so fair play to him for that.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 1/3 Grayson/Coleman
Best Result of the season: 3-1 at Norwich for Grayson, Coleman's had a few good results.
Best performance of the season: Norwich away maybe, though we rode our luck at times. I wasn't at Burton so it could be that.
Worst result of the season: Difficult to say. Conceding 5 at Ipswich maybe, or any number of home games.
Worst performance of the season: As above, it's hard to pinpoint one.
Any other comments: We were awful defensively and a complete mush mash of formation and personnel under Grayson. Under Coleman we are more consistent in both of the above, and have been a lot tighter. We've perhaps created and scored less though.


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Lewis Grabban, maybe.
Pleasant surprise of the season: I can't think of anyone who has really been better than expected. A few players have had decent runs of form, but nothing stands out.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: I would have said McGeady early on in the season. He's the one you could rely on to pull something out when nobody else was capable, but he's been frozen out recently. Grabban because he scores goals, but by heck he isn't half a lazy fucker.
Underperformer of the season: Lee Cattermole. One of the first seasons out of the top flight for him, he said himself he's the fittest he's been for five years, and he's been mostly terrible. The shit, slow bastard.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Jason Steele, although he's been on the bench for a while now. The other lad isn't a great deal better.
Outright worst player of the season: Brendan Galloway. Utter dog shit, one of the worst full backs I've seen at the club.
Any other comments: Grabban is one of the league's top scorers and we need him for that, but he has to be one of the weakest, laziest players around. He never even challenges for a ball. Adam Matthews has played quite well when I've seen him, and I genuinely think he's not a bad player. Brian Oviedo is good when fit, and we've got plenty of youth coming through which is good to see. Browning on loan from Everton is decent.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Lewis Grabban or Aidan McGeady. Loan/permanent.
Worst signing this season: Galloway and Jonny Williams simply because he's never fit.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 2.5
In January I'd like to see us sign: A competent goalkeeper, we might need a striker particularly if Grabban goes, and probably some central midfielders. Our horrendous injury list doesn't help, to be fair.
In January I think we'll sign: A couple of loans. Possibly Welsh.
I'd like to see us sell: Galloway back to Everton, Rodwell as he's disappeared off the face of the planet.
I think we'll sell: Nobody, unless returning loans count.
Any other comments:

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Avoid relegation.
What I think we'll achieve: Touch and go for avoiding relegation.

[Samadini]

MANAGER
Bringing an upbeat feeling around the club that we haven't had for a while. Coleman has a bit of charisma and personality, something which our previous managers Dour Dave and Relegrayson had zero of. He's been a much needed breath of fresh air so far. He's changed our formation to three at the back and wing backs, been more consistent with team selection and given the players a bit more confidence and belief. They actually appear to respect him, which makes a change. He's also improved us ten fold defensively.

Almost word for word the same situation at Newcastle. Feels nice doesn't it?

There's no point me doing one as Shindig has it covered, there's not much else to say, it's a poor quality squad working hard for a good manager.

[ScousePig]

Without our new manager I don't think there'd have been much hope. Our side on paper is fine for the Championship, but collectively we must have (or have had) the worst mentality of anyone.

[-james-]

I'd like to point out that I called West Brom's business being pants in August, when they were going to be the surprise of the season.

Yeah happy to concede that one, though I still think a few of them were decent value. Krychowiak, Barry and Hegazi anyway. I'm not sure what has happened to Burke, but he's looked decent the couple of times I've seen him come on.

Rodriguez was definitely a stinker though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I would say the worst assembled squads in the league currently are West Brom, Stoke and Newcastle. The former two just have really small horizons, and Newcastle are definitively cut price without being smart about it like Burnley are.

[Ian]

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Manchester United
Expectations (at start of season): Top four and something resembling a title challenge
View on performance: It's easy to feel grumpy about it because City are so far ahead and we have the bad habit of serving up turds like the one we're serving up against Burnley at the time of writing but it's been okay really.
Any other comments: Nah

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Jose Mourinho
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 4, probably, if I'm being fair.
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No
Areas they have performed well in: Decent position in the league and, on the whole, better performances.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: Actually trying to win big games would be nice.
Any other comments: The games we lose we look absolutely clueless.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:
Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 3.5
Best Result of the season: Probably Arsenal away
Best performance of the season: One of the 4-0s. Might be West Ham right at the start of the season.
Worst result of the season: Huddersfield
Worst performance of the season: Liverpool
Any other comments: It looks worse than it is sometimes because, as I said above, we usually look absolutely appalling when we lose or drop points.


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:
Overall player of the season: I didn't appreciate Pogba enough until he came back into the team.
Pleasant surprise of the season: A bit more consistency and purpose from Martial after being pretty crap last season, as I remember it.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Young
Underperformer of the season: Mkhitaryan
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Smalling
Outright worst player of the season: Herrera's done practically nothing that I can remember other than the snidey shit but I'll go with Smalling for this again. Hopeless. I'm edging him ahead Lindelof because he's had every chance to be better than he is whereas Lindelof might, in theory, settle the fuck down.
Any other comments: We want Fellainimania back. Maybe.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: I suppose probably Lukaku even though he's been a bit rubbish in many ways. He should have about ten more goals than he does though.
Worst signing this season: Lindelof
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3
In January I'd like to see us sign: If there's a decent squad fullback going that'd be nice. I'm happy with Tony V and Young but if he's not going to play Shaw and leave us with Darmian as our sole proper full-back back-up then... well... no thanks. We could do with another option in midfield too, I'd say.
In January I think we'll sign: No idea. Probably nobody. Though signing Jonny Evans back at some daft price as I've seen rumoured is the sort of thing it seems we'd do now.
I'd like to see us sell: Shaw (if we're never going to give him a chance, I don't really want to sell him), Smalling, Darmian.
I think we'll sell: Nobody
Any other comments: Luke Shaw should be given some chances. It'd give us the option of having Young further up sometimes too.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: 2nd and a cup
What I think we'll achieve: 2nd. Perhaps not a cup.

[phonics]

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Arsenal
Expectations (at start of season): Top four and a Europa League run.
View on performance: We're there or thereabouts despite ranging between mind numbingly passive and infuriatingly shit.
Any other comments: This is the dullest Arsenal team in my memory. The Fabregas/Denison era might have achieved nothing but at least the football was good.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Arsene
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 2
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No but I would lol if it happened
Areas they have performed well in: hahahahahahahahahahaha. I guess filling the squad with enough chaff that we can play two completely separate teams.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: all of them
Any other comments: previously the team was a rough diamond. Flawed but beautiful. Now we're like Tammy commercial jewelry, flash but completely soulless.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 3
Best Result of the season: 2-0 Win against Spurs
Best performance of the season: 5-1 win against Everton. The only time a decent attacking performance translates into points
Worst result of the season: 4-0 v Liverpool. That was lol.
Worst performance of the season: probably the Liverpool one but I'd probably have to go for one of the myriad of 0-0s we'be had lately because we should have lost all of them
Any other comments: WE'RE SO FUCKING DULL. SORT IT OUT WENG.


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Ozil probably but maybe it's Monreal
Pleasant surprise of the season: Jack Wilshere coming back into the team. God I hope he makes it. The only light in a sea of grey.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: none of them. I dislike most of the team at this point so let's give it to Ozil.
Underperformer of the season: Laurent Kosielny. He's fallen to pieces.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: N/A
Outright worst player of the season: Kosielny/Xhaka/Sanchez/Iwobi
Any other comments: Bellerins been a bit crap too.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Kolasinac until he did something to Arsene
Worst signing this season: We only made 2 so this goes to Lacazette
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3
In January I'd like to see us sign: Anyone
In January I think we'll sign: No-one
I'd like to see us sell: No-one
I think we'll sell: No-one
Any other comments: Teams fucked lol. Let's hope Sven can steal some children from around the globe or we're fucked.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: 4th and a Europa League final
What I think we'll achieve:
6th and being knocked out by Athletics Madrid in the next round.

[Dark Soldier]

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Man Yoo
Expectations (at start of season): Top 4, decent in cups
View on performance: We should get top 4, had a dip in the CL but ended up qualifying comfortably. Bristol was disgusting.
Any other comments: Some improvements, still a lot of last season's shite performances seeping in.

MANAGER:

My Team's Manager is: The Lord Mourinho
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 3
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No
Areas they have performed well in: Scoring more goals, not conceding as much.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: Utterly fucking terrified in the big games, and we are disgustingly bad against set pieces.
Any other comments: Lad needs to cheer the fuck up a bit. Donning the MIND GAMES even if most of them make little sense now but seeing his mopey cunt face of death constantly is like imagining Saville hanging out the back of you.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 3.5
Best Result of the season: The glory against the Arse
Best performance of the season: Most of the 4-0s
Worst result of the season: Huddersfield, Bristol
Worst performance of the season: Liverpool, I'm all for a good old defensive grind, can occasionally get me hard, but this was a shit show.
Any other comments: Solid(ish) at the back, Sometimes good going forward. Second in the league and we could, and should, but won't kick it up a few gears.


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season:Pogba
Pleasant surprise of the season: Lingard finally showing up more
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Lingard
Underperformer of the season: Herrera
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: I didn't know he was shit but Mkhitaryan is about as terrified as a staunch lesbian in an all male orgy.
Outright worst player of the season: Mkhitaryan, shoot him now.
Any other comments: 90% of bang average, we miss Pogba massively. I would go homo for de Gea even if he's back to his flappy best of late.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Matic, purely because he offers some defensive screening.
Worst signing this season: Lindlof but I have a feeling he'll come good over the next year or two.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3
In January I'd like to see us sign: Would've been a left back but Shaw is looking on it right now and he should be played more. Preferably a right back but there's fuck all of worth available. Another CM who can do what Pogba does (to a lesser level) so we don't shit the bed when he's not there.
In January I think we'll sign: Probably Danny Rose. The cunt.
I'd like to see us sell: Smalling, Rojo, Smalling, Mkhitaryan, Smalling
I think we'll sell: Nobody
Any other comments: Another window needed. Or three. Or whatever is the requisite excuse until we shit our way to a title by a point.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Top 4
What I think we'll achieve: Top 4

[-james-]

I would say the worst assembled squads in the league currently are West Brom, Stoke and Newcastle. The former two just have really small horizons, and Newcastle are definitively cut price without being smart about it like Burnley are.

If you're going on squads based on face value alone, then surely West Brom or Stoke aren't worse than Burnley or Bournemouth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not, I mean how well have they been put together given the resources available and how well do they fit together. For instance, West Brom might have a couple of more famous names who have played at big clubs, but they are at least three light and a lot of the players they have are overpriced failures from bigger/similar-sized clubs (Livermore, Rodriguez, Gibbs, Chadli). They haven't found any gems from the lower leagues, they haven't scouted well abroad and they haven't developed any of their own players. Craig Dawson possibly the only success story and they recruited him seven years ago.

Bournemouth don't seem to scout abroad at all, so given that you'd have to say they recruit and develop pretty well in general. Burnley's first 15 or so is a thing of beauty - bit of quality from Defour and the others just play to his plan and do so cheaply.

[igor_balis]

I'm not, I mean how well have they been put together given the resources available and how well do they fit together. For instance, West Brom might have a couple of more famous names who have played at big clubs, but they are at least three light and a lot of the players they have are overpriced failures from bigger/similar-sized clubs (Livermore, Rodriguez, Gibbs, Chadli). They haven't found any gems from the lower leagues, they haven't scouted well abroad and they haven't developed any of their own players. Craig Dawson possibly the only success story and they recruited him seven years ago.

Bournemouth don't seem to scout abroad at all, so given that you'd have to say they recruit and develop pretty well in general. Burnley's first 15 or so is a thing of beauty - bit of quality from Defour and the others just play to his plan and do so cheaply.

It's so frustrating because that used to be our M.O.

2012/13 we finished 8th (!) playing really nice football.

Our key players:

Ben Foster - £4m from Birmingham City
Jonas Olsson - £800k from N.E.C. Nijmegen
Claudio Yacob - free from Racing (Argentina)
Liam Ridgewell - undisclosed from Birmingham City
James Morrison - £1.5m from Middlesbrough
Shane Long - £6m from Reading
Chris Brunt - £3m from Sheffield Wednesday
Graham Dorrans - £200k from Livingston
Lukaku - loan
Yousouff Mulumbu - £175k (!!!!) from PSG
Gera - free from Fulham, originally £1.5m from Ferancvaros
McAuley - fuck all from Ipswich
Odemwingie - few million from Lokomotiv
Billy Jones- free from Preston

All of them contributed, plenty of them are still around the first time now ffs. In the following 5 years we've spent:

£6m for Anichebe, £6.5m for Sessegnon , £4.75m for Callum McManaman (who?), £8m for James Chester, £12m for Rondon, £13m for Jay Rodriguez, £7m for Gibbs, and plenty of wages for the likes of Fletcher, Barry, Lambert (lol), Livermore, Robson-Kanu. I'd argue our squad is worse now than it was then.

It's genuinely comparable to how the AI's transfer incompetence fucks up the side you've left on FM.

[igor_balis]

Yeah I was going to say, prior to Dan Ashworth going to the FA, they were quite a tidy side for their level. Jonathan Greening, Zoltan Gera and the like would keep it on the ground. Absolutely gone to shit since then.

2nd most important man in the last 20 years of West Brom's history after Megson I reckon. I'd have given him the £5m/year we piss away on shit players to keep him here.

[-james-]

I'm not, I mean how well have they been put together given the resources available and how well do they fit together. For instance, West Brom might have a couple of more famous names who have played at big clubs, but they are at least three light and a lot of the players they have are overpriced failures from bigger/similar-sized clubs (Livermore, Rodriguez, Gibbs, Chadli). They haven't found any gems from the lower leagues, they haven't scouted well abroad and they haven't developed any of their own players. Craig Dawson possibly the only success story and they recruited him seven years ago.

Bournemouth don't seem to scout abroad at all, so given that you'd have to say they recruit and develop pretty well in general. Burnley's first 15 or so is a thing of beauty - bit of quality from Defour and the others just play to his plan and do so cheaply.

You could probably have said more or less the same things about Leicester's squad in 2015-16. West Brom are definitely underperforming relative to what they have available.

[phonics]

2nd most important man in the last 20 years of West Brom's history after Megson I reckon. I'd have given him the £5m/year we piss away on shit players to keep him here.

Yeah the idea of paying Fat Sam four million a year and paying the guy who makes 100 other longer term decisions above him 150 grand is fucking nuts.

[Reg]

Congrats @CJ.

Enjoying these.

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Brighton and Hove Albion
Expectations (at start of season): 17th
View on performance: Very good.
Any other comments: We were 8th in the Premier League! I know it didn't last very long, but we were 8th! In the Premier League!

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Chris Hughton
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 4.5
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): Good one!
Areas they have performed well in: Practically all areas.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: This is just something to be picky: we're never going to get any points off the top six unless we change something. We sit deep (really deep) and then hope the speed of Murray - one of the slowest players in the country, including goalkeepers - gets us a goal. Hopefully when we play Chelsea again soon we'll try something different, whether it's a new formation, sticking Izquierdo up front for some pace, or being a bit braver and not setting up like it's an attack v defence training exercise. It's not like I expect us to be getting many wins against Man City and co., but a couple of draws could make the difference being staying up and not.
Any other comments: I'm relieved we have one of the managers who doesn't turn into a maniacal, mind-numbingly biased turdhead in post-match interviews.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 4.5
Best Result of the season: I think I'll have to go for 3-1 v West Brom - our first win.
Best performance of the season: Perhaps above.
Worst result of the season: Huddersfield.
Worst performance of the season: Palace.
Any other comments: There's been a missed opportunities for home wins, but we've been very good.


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Gross/Ryan. Both signings.
Pleasant surprise of the season: Gross - I had never heard of him.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: I don't know what a big game is for us, they're all big games. I suppose Palace for the rivalry, in which case Ryan.
Underperformer of the season: Knockaert, as much as I like the chap. He'll come good and I think he might do great for us if we stay up this season.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: N/A
Outright worst player of the season: Nobody's been bad.
Any other comments: Stephens has done great but he never - and I mean very close to literally never - looks to Knockaert on the right. I don't know if it's partly because he's right footed and prefers passing to the left (didn't stop him last season), or because he's lost faith in Knockaert, or because Hughton has instructed them to play more on the left flank due to Bruno being elderly, or what. Against Burnley it got to the point where, after Stephens had neglected Knockaert again, even Bruno threw his hands in the air in despair and Knockaert shook his head at Bruno as if to say, "Forget it. It's never going to happen."

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Gross. After ten games he had set up 5 and scored 2. Tony Bloom would have happily said goodbye to that £3million if that's all Gross had done for us before announcing his retirement from football.
Worst signing this season: If you stopped the season now, it'd have to be Izquierdo.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 4.5
In January I'd like to see us sign: Dembele from Celtic.
In January I think we'll sign: Dembele from Celtic.
I'd like to see us sell: Nobody.
I think we'll sell: Nobody.
Any other comments: Our transfer team really know what they're doing. Hughton has been a great judge of player from the start of his time with us.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Safety.
What I think we'll achieve: Safety.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You could probably have said more or less the same things about Leicester's squad in 2015-16. West Brom are definitely underperforming relative to what they have available.

Not a chance. Leicester were powered by an unheralded gem from the lower leagues (Vardy) and two brilliant pieces of scouting abroad (Mahrez and Kanté). They had a squad on the way up. The Pulis West Brom squad is a squad on the way down.

I'd also praise Brighton's squad as being excellent among the 20 current top flight teams - an assortment of people either on the way up or with something to prove, which assessed its weaknesses at the end of last season and made a great signing in Groß. OK so they're still not the Harlem Globetrotters, but with the resources available they've done a great job.

[wullie]

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Coventry City
Expectations (at start of season): Promotion however it comes
View on performance: Two points off the last automatic spot so in theory not bad, but we've lost a third of our games in the bottom division.
Any other comments: Best defence in the division, but Luton in first have only conceded one more yet have scored a full 32 mre.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Mark Robins
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 3
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No
Areas they have performed well in: Defence sorted out to a degree, bar the odd error ballsing it up
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: We seem to only have one player scoring goals at any single point in the season
Any other comments:

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 3
Best Result of the season: Winning 3-0 at Luton
Best performance of the season: Probably that or the opening day 3-0 home win over Notts County
Worst result of the season: Losing to Accrington Stanley and Forest Green Rovers in the same week share the prize of worst result I've ever seen in my life.
Worst performance of the season: Defeats to Forest Green or Mansfield
Any other comments:


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Michael Doyle probably
Pleasant surprise of the season: Doyle again. I was delighted when the limited clogger left us six years ago, and even more delighted when the seasoned League 2 hardman came back
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Until he ruled himself out for the season, Jodi Jones was winning points almost by himself
Underperformer of the season: Peter Vincenti. It's not clear what he's supposed to excel at
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Feels harsh to nominate Max Biamou but for all his effort he's not very good
Outright worst player of the season: Liam O'Brien started the season in goal and played himself onto the bench with two consecutive games where he had a proper wobbly and threw points away
Any other comments:

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Rod McDonald, the defence seems more settled when he's playing
Worst signing this season: Probably Biamou again
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3. No over-reliance on loans this season and most of the signings are established in the side
In January I'd like to see us sign: Goals goals goals and anyone who can provide them. Josh Barrett is coming in on loan and there are apparently a few more lined up
In January I think we'll sign: Barrett's already in, two more set to sign whoever they are. Maybe extending Nazon's loan for the season
I'd like to see us sell: Kyel Reid's half-season loan is up but I'd happily cut him loose along with Jordan Turnbull who is apparently massively shit on his loan in Scotland
I think we'll sell: Kwame Thomas, Kyel Reid, at least one more
Any other comments:

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Promotion
What I think we'll achieve: Miss out on playoffs by a hair

[phonics]

Just realized I'm the only Arsenal fan left. I think Liverpool and United are the only teams left with multiple representatives and even Liverpool only have CJ and Spoons.

Edit: forgot about the Akehursts.

[Dark Soldier]

Dav not about anymore?

[phonics]

Disappeared early on. Haven't seen him in ages.

[Dark Soldier]

Ah fuck's sake. He was prob the geezer who ran those over outside the mosque.

EDIT: He posted on the 2nd of this month mate

[phonics]

Ah fuck's sake. He was prob the geezer who ran those over outside the mosque.

EDIT: He posted on the 2nd of this month mate

Who the fuck do you think I am? Lewis 'The Rainman' Betts?

[Dark Soldier]

get on point lad

[Boydy]

Ah fuck's sake. He was prob the geezer who ran those over outside the mosque.

EDIT: He posted on the 2nd of this month mate

Are you looking at the poster 'Dave'? That's not him.

I didn't think Dav posted here any more.

[Spoonsky]

Just realized I'm the only Arsenal fan left. I think Liverpool and United are the only teams left with multiple representatives and even Liverpool only have CJ and Spoons.

Edit: forgot about the Akehursts.

Niko, Gray Fox, Liverpool have a few.

[Boydy]

John Arne.

[Boydy]

The Merse is still about and is an Arsenal fan too.

You're drunk, phonics, go home.

[Dark Soldier]

Are you looking at the poster 'Dave'? That's not him.

I didn't think Dav posted here any more.

http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showth...795#post236795

[Boydy]

http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showth...795#post236795

I see. Didn't realise he was still around. Although if he's only posting about fucking cricket that explains why.

[Dark Soldier]

They only get so much time in jails these days

[Byron]

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: West Ammmmmmmmm
Expectations (at start of season): Around 10th, maybe nudging into Europe territory and a decent tilt at the cups
View on performance: 17th. Thought we did well in the Energy Drink Cup but you can guarantee that we're binning off the FA Cup
Any other comments: Holy fuck.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: David Moyes
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 2.5
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No
Areas they have performed well in: Overall fitness and committment. I'd have said defensive organisation but we've shipped 6 goals to Newcastle and Bournemouth so who the fuck knows.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: It'd be harsh to comment really, as Moyes hasn't really had too many games.
Any other comments: He wasn't anywhere near the fans first choice, but he's done better than I expected, which probably comes down to him knowing that if he ballsed this up, he'd probably go the way of Curbishley and disappear off the face of the earth.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 1
Best Result of the season: The 1-0 against Chelsea, or the 2-1 loss against Man City, since I'd forgotten what committment actually looked like until that game
Best performance of the season: Probably dismantling Stoke 3-0, or the loss to Man City.
Worst result of the season: Too fucking many. If I had to pick one out though I'd go with the 4-0 loss to Everton, given at the time a local pub team could have beaten them. It was also at that point that I realised we had a real chance of being relegated.
Worst performance of the season: Everton
Any other comments: I'f we're still near the relegation zone by mid-March, we're going down.


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Anyone who's been injured or on the bench. In all seriousness though probably Masuaku for not being a total bomb scare, which we haven't seen from a left-back in a long time.
Pleasant surprise of the season: Masuaku
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Arnautovic strangely springs to mind but that might be because he's only been good recently. Other than that probably Noble.
Underperformer of the season: Joe Hart
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Joe Hart. This is where the wisdom of TTH has allowed me to lord it up over work colleagues that thought he was the missing piece of the puzzle. To anyone who says that now I just show them Rooney's goal.
Outright worst player of the season: Joe Hart
Any other comments: So we're doing alright for goalkeepers with Adrian and Randolph and then these clusterfuck owners decide that bringing in an 'ENG-ER-LUND' International would help and my God he's lost it. It's no fucking coincedence that our points have come largely from dropping that useless sack of shit and bringing back Rocky's wife. Hopefully he doesn't get on the plane to Russia as first choice because if he does then I'm watching any other sport.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Masuaku probably
Worst signing this season: Hart
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3
In January I'd like to see us sign: Not sure who's going to come to us, but a striker that isn't injured would be nice.
In January I think we'll sign: No-one and we'll probably sell Sakho.
I'd like to see us sell: Terminate Hart's loan deal. Not sure we can afford to really sell anyone though but I do wonder why we even signed Fonte given his age.
I think we'll sell: Sakho, Antonio and probably Kouyate given our thundercunt owners.
Any other comments: Fuck off Dildo Daves

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Barely escape relegation
What I think we'll achieve: Barely escape relegation

[John Arne]

FULL TERM REPORT

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Ho Chi Minh City FC
Expectations (at start of season): Survival
View on performance: Survived (just - 12th/14), but god it was awful, with just 1 win in our last 12
Any other comments: Manager has since been sacked, along with 13 players. Off the pitch, the club is a fucking mess. Lots of promises, absolutely fuck all delivered.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is (was) : Alain Fiard
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 1
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): Yes, and the club have done
Areas they have performed well in: Managing not to have a heart attack on the side of the pitch
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: Fuck off back to France, pronto.
Any other comments: Shit, shit and shitter. No flexibility, no knowledge of the local game....

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 2
Best Result of the season: 5-2 against Long An - though we were helped by the oppo giving up at 2-2 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wdk0uYui3eQ)
Best performance of the season: 1-0 in the derby against Saigon FC
Worst result of the season: 1-3 defeat against Saigon in the derby.
Worst performance of the season: 1–4 against Sanna Khanh Hoa
Any other comments: Awful, awful football. 4-1-4-1 every game. Sacked our main striker (Dyachenko) halfway through the season as we didn't play to his strengths, he went on to score something like 12 goals in the second half of the season, and come 4th with Quang Ninh.


PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Victor Ormazabal
Pleasant surprise of the season: Trương Đình Luật
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Victor Ormazabal
Underperformer of the season: Âu Văn Hoàn - our only player who plays for Vietnam - however, always under-performs for us - not helped by the manager playing him too defensively.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season:
Outright worst player of the season:
Any other comments: It's hard to blame any of the players really. Got what we expected performance wise - players were let down by mismanagement.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Victor Dyachenko
Worst signing this season: Victor Dyachenko
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 2
In January I'd like to see us sign: Anybody half decent. Some decent Vietnamese players, and not middling Mauritanians.
In January I think we'll sign: Some middling Mauritanian/Nigerian/Unknown place of birth
I'd like to see us sell: Nobody. We only have about 7 first team players.
I think we'll sell:
Any other comments:

NEXT SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Hopefully, top 8.
What I think we'll achieve: Top 10.

[John Arne]

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: West Ammmmmmmmm

MANAGER

Areas they have performed well in: Overall fitness and committment.

Didn't I hear on a Podcast that West Ham were bottom of the "distance run" table? I know that doesn't necessarily = low fitness, but does suggest they may not be a fit as some other teams (or at least, haven't proven it). Or do you mean since the Moyssiah took over?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is that league all fixed?

[Byron]

Didn't I hear on a Podcast that West Ham were bottom of the "distance run" table? I know that doesn't necessarily = low fitness, but does suggest they may not be a fit as some other teams (or at least, haven't proven it). Or do you mean since the Moyssiah took over?

Since Moyes took over. It seems to be that Bilic was far too matey with a lot of the players and being your team's best mate is fine for a year or two, but when things get tough, players just don't give a fuck. Moyes has been doubling down on the fitness since he came in and the players reportedly hate it, but fuck them they're getting millions a year.