FOOTBALL! Liverpool vs. United (and some other less exciting games)

[Baz]

Well it's almost time for the most exciting football match of the season: Liverpool vs. United at Anfield.
Liverpool's top goalscorer and overall best player, Sadio Mane, is injured. Meanwhile United's Belgian scoring genius with a twenty-four inch penis, Romelu Lukaku, was supposed to be injured but isn't. But thankfully Fellainimaina is. Well, supposedly. (I've put him in my fantasy team, just in case.)

Anyway, fixtures:

Friday 13th October
St Johnstone vs. Rangers (19:45) BT Sport 1
Birmingham City vs. Cardiff City (19:45) Sky Sports

Saturday 14th October
Liverpool vs Manchester United (12:30) Sky Sports
Burnley vs. West Ham United
Crystal Palace vs. Chelsea
Manchester City vs. Stoke City
Swansea City vs. Huddersfield Town
Tottenham Hotspur vs. AFC Bournemouth
Watford vs. Arsenal (17:30) BT Sport 1

Wolves v Aston Villa (17:30) Sky Sports
St Albans City v Boreham Wood (12:30) BBC red button

Sunday 15th October
Brighton & Hove Albion vs. Everton (13:30)
Southampton vs. Newcastle United (16:00) Sky Sports

Monday 16th October
Leicester City vs. West Bromich Albion (20:00) Sky Sports

[Pleb]

Baz stealing Reg's thunder I see.

The FA Cup is back and Torquay get Aldershot Town away. Oh well there's always next year. Meanwhile up in Anfield the Sacked One will probably take it 1-0.

[Baz]

Baz stealing Reg's thunder I see.

I have a lot of spare time.

[Pleb]

[Shindig]

We've only had two Saturday kick-offs so far this season.

[Kikó]

I'm never too confident after an international break and still without ogba. Can see this being a draw with old yellow teeth being annoying as usual.

[Baz]

Old yellow teeth = ... Klopp?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can't wait for Jeff Stelling on Saturday.

We said that Crystal Palace fans had been waiting a long time for a goal... well now... the wait... IS OVER! Chris Kamara

[Luke Emia]

We are getting stiffed by United at the weekend. Cue maniacs saying that Klopp needs sacking and Gerrard to be put in charge.

[Baz]

Hopefully it’s the other way round and United Twitter is jealous of Oldham for getting Scholes.

[Luke Emia]

Wouldn't get your hopes up. No way we keep a clean sheet and as soon as they score we are fucked. It pains me to say it hurt United do look very good, I fancy them to win it. then we have to hope Mourinho implodes in his third season next year.

[Lewis]

In theory United could touch them right up on the counter-attack, but their ponderous starts could let Liverpool in, so it probably depends on whether Ander Herrera can shithouse Coutinho out of it.

[Giggles]

In theory United could touch them right up on the counter-attack, but their ponderous starts could let Liverpool in, so it probably depends on whether Ander Herrera can shithouse Coutinho out of it.

Best thing for everyone is if he took the red early on for snapping his two knees.

[niko_cee]

Liverpool haven't beaten United since Moyes have they (in the league)? So it's probably about time to sort that. Whoever the new David Ngog is to get the late settler. Solanke?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lukaku could have a field day against ZONAL MARKING.

Aim for his head at every set-piece, just a shame we don't have the dual threat with Fellainimaina.

[Pleb]

Coutinho to thomp one in before the Lukaku gets two quickfire goals to save the tie.

[Boydy]

I really can't see any hope for Liverpool this weekend.

[Spoonsky]

Think I'm going to wake up at 7:30 to watch this. It better be one of those 'big games' where Liverpool play inexplicably well.

[Shindig]

Speaking of old boys in management, Steve Watson's managing Gateshead now. Hope he's good at it.

[Weaver]

Juventus vs Lazio, Roma vs Napoli and Inter vs AC Milan in Serie A this weekend.

Dortmund vs Leipzig and Atlético vs Barcelona going on too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Speaking of old boys in management, Steve Watson's managing Gateshead now. Hope he's good at it.

I was driving through Gateshead the other week (don't ask) and thought this should really be a Football League club. Loads of money poured into local facilities, 'football area', with a nice big parent club next door.

[niko_cee]

2-1 United would be the standard Mourinho title-winning result, so let's hope that doesn't happen (it is likely). First goal will be critical as both sides will want to sit and wait for the other to come on to them. I reckon it'll be a bit of a shitfest, as is typical of this game.

[Ian]

Is Liverpool / United consistently the worst of the "big" fixtures in England? I feel like most of the other big ones have at least had peaks and troughs of good and shit games but I feel like Liverpool and United have the odd outlier in oceans of drab draws or one-sided affairs.

I may be speaking through my arse and it's just that it's the one I have typically been nervier about in the past.

[Giggles]

No they are regularly shit.

[Lewis]

That is probably true.

[Lewis]

Is this nerd from the Liverpool fan channel the Chelsea rent boys one?

[Giggles]

Speaking of which.

Toggle Spoiler

[Lewis]

It is as well, and I now have 'rent boys' in my Twitter search history.

[Kikó]

Jonathan Wilson is a massive bore.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I still have that game as the absolute peak lol of the period, narrowly edging out the Barcelona 2-2. Tomas Kalas ffs.

[Reg]

Is Liverpool / United consistently the worst of the "big" fixtures in England? I feel like most of the other big ones have at least had peaks and troughs of good and shit games but I feel like Liverpool and United have the odd outlier in oceans of drab draws or one-sided affairs.

I may be speaking through my arse and it's just that it's the one I have typically been nervier about in the past.

I reckon when atmospheres are that intense it can make for worse games (see Merseyside derby). Or maybe it's just been bad luck.

The Young and Fellaini game under van Gaal was good.

[Shindig]

I was driving through Gateshead the other week (don't ask) and thought this should really be a Football League club. Loads of money poured into local facilities, 'football area', with a nice big parent club next door.

We've come close under Gary Mills a couple of times but we really can't hop the fence. Part of the problem with having more illustrious neighbours is how their reserve talent wind up at league clubs on loan, leaving the kids to wind up at non-league clubs. Even then, the young bastards might prefer to sit in the youth setup until their contracts are up.

[Baz]

Liverpool Starting XI: Mignolet, Gomez, Matip, Lovren, Moreno, Henderson, Can, Wijnaldum, Salah, Coutinho & Firmino.

United Starting XI: De Gea, Valencia, Jones, Smalling, Darmian, Herrera, Matic, Young, Mkhitaryan, Martial & Lukaku.

[niko_cee]

Back 5 with Herrera and Matic in midfield?

Nice.

[Waffdon]

Young will be in midfield. It’s a bog standard 4231 to me anyway.

[Lewis]

'Possession is for the mathematicians.'

[Kikó]

Smalling :/

[Waffdon]

The build up on Sky is something else. Liverpool haven’t won the league since 1990 for fuck sake

[Ian]

'Possession is for the mathematicians.'

Who said that?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The high pan camera at Anfield gives a great view of Mourinho's classic five at the back.

[Lewis]

Who said that?

Bit of a daft question that mate.

[Magic]

As if it was going to be anything other than a shit fest. The only difference between that fixture and West Brom Stoke is the levels of coverage.

[Waffdon]

Martin Atkinson is just an awful referee. Always seems to get the big games too.

[Ian]

Bit of a daft question that mate.

Could be either of them, to be fair.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

De Gea

My word.

[Lewis]

Some Dominik Hasek skills there.

[Waffdon]

Lukaku is getting shown up again. He’s pretty fucking awful when having to hold the ball up, hence never doing it for Everton in a big game.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They all wank on about the save, but Salah absolutely botched a simple follow-up for either him or Coutinho.

[Baz]

Martin Atkinson is just an awful referee. Always seems to get the big games too.

I’m on 2 pens awarded @ 20/1

[Reg]

Lukaku is getting shown up again. He’s pretty fucking awful when having to hold the ball up, hence never doing it for Everton in a big game.

Yeah his hold up play has been really poor; I reckon that little kick was deliberate as well.