WEEKEND FOOTBALL 30/9 - 1/10 sponsored by "A lovely autumn afternoon here at..."

[Mazuuurk]

30 SEPTEMBER
(which is Saturday)


12:30 Huddersfield Town - Tottenham Hotspur

15:00 AFC Bournemouth - Leicester City
15:00 Manchester United - Crystal Palace
15:00 Stoke City - Southampton
15:00 West Bromwich Albion - Watford
15:00 West Ham United - Swansea City

17:30 Chelsea - Manchester City


1 OCTOBER
(which is Sunday)

12:00 Arsenal - Brighton & Hove Albion

14:15 Everton - Burnley

16:30 Newcastle United - Liverpool


I even changed the fucking times to UTC for you shitheads.
And yeah I don't give a fuck about other leagues, so live with that please.

[SvN]

I even changed the fucking times to UTC for you shitheads.
And yeah I don't give a fuck about other leagues, so live with that please.

We should be wiping the floor with Palace, really. Last season this would've been nailed on for 1-1.

[Kikó]

I'm not sure WOR WOY has a good record against United so I'm expecting the normally sized penis of Lukaku to slap them about.

[Giggles]

One fixture worth the time still beats last weekend by one

[Reg]

That'd be weird. It'd be interesting to see how good he is at a club like that.

One fixture worth the time still beats last weekend by one

Chelsea v Man City, presumably? That should be good. I suppose there's a chance that Chelsea will get an early goal and then make it tedious.

For biased reasons I'm looking forward to Sunday. Always glad when an away game of ours is picked for telly, and there's Milan v Roma at 5pm.

[niko_cee]

I wonder whether City will be going with Courage Benjamin or Courage Sergio for their shirts tomorrow.

[phonics]

I wonder whether City will be going with Courage Bernard or Courage Sergio for their shirts tomorrow.

ftfy

[John]

Does that have another meaning, because you certainly haven't fixed it.

For maximum mawk they'll go with Mandy on the front and Aguero's number.

[phonics]

Does that have another meaning, because you certainly haven't fixed it.

For maximum mawk they'll go with Mandy on the front and Aguero's number.

View Tweet

[Lewis]

That Duncan Castles seems to be the butt of every joke on Football Twitter, but there he is, making a living from writing bollocks. I keep seeing verified accounts of people describing themselves as the 'Chelsea correspondent' or whatever as well, so who is consuming all of this shit?

[phonics]

Bayern have gone for the bloke who got sacked at Dortmund after falling out with everyone because he's a bit of a cunt. I get moving on from Carlo but lol.

[McAvennie]

And Ancelotti already hilariously linked with the West Ham not-yet-vacant position.

Not that I wouldn't run naked around the Stadio Olympico if it happened, but yeah

[ScousePig]

Down in the Championship, Simon Grayson has had a go at Sunderland fans.

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport...ining-13695976

He's basically said those having a go are armchair fans coming out of the woodwork who have probably never been to Ipswich away. I don't think he possibly could have said anything worse.

He's under pressure and people want him gone already. I would say it's only a matter of time, but sacking him would cost money we probably don't have, and as he appears to be a bit of a 'yes man', he's probably exactly what Short wants anyway.

[Shindig]

Down in the Championship, Simon Grayson has had a go at Sunderland fans.

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport...ining-13695976

He's basically said those having a go are armchair fans coming out of the woodwork who have probably never been to Ipswich away. I don't think he possibly could have said anything worse.

He's under pressure and people want him gone already. I would say it's only a matter of time, but sacking him would cost money we probably don't have, and as he appears to be a bit of a 'yes man', he's probably exactly what Short wants anyway.

You can't really pop at the fans when they've had the last two years. All a fan can do at that point is voice frustration.

[John]

Huddersfield are suicidal here. Kane could get ten if they don't sort themselves out.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fisting in progress.

[Waffdon]

Harry Kane is just so, so good.

[Baz]

Harry Kane is just so, so good.

It’s outstanding. I can imagine being a Spurs fan watching him is almost as enjoyable as when Liverpool fans got to watch Suarez every week. #jelly

[Ian]

Presumably in today's market, plus English tax, plus Levy tax, Kane won't be sold by Spurs for less than £4.5bn.

[John]

Is that complete donut at the back for Huddersfield the same Mathias Jorgensen who was once the best defender in Football Manager? He looks like he'd struggle to defend his dinner from a toddler never mind a Premiership goal from Harry Kane.

[Boydy]

He looks like he'd struggle to defend his dinner from a toddler

[John]

'Spurs have been the best team in the league in terms of amassing points over the last two seasons', says Red Nev. Well isn't that completely fucking meaningless then.

[Giggles]

It’s outstanding. I can imagine being a Spurs fan watching him is almost as enjoyable as when Liverpool fans got to watch Suarez every week. #jelly

#somehowabout

[John]

Dean Whitehead looks like he's been drawn by a beachfront caricaturist.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Imagine how good Kane would be if he didn't have cerebral palsy.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Palace

[Giggles]

I keep being really glad when I see Palace losing but it always takes a bit before I remember Allardyce isn't there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fellainimania doesn't even need his head.

Young with a brilliant ball again.

[bruhnaldo]

World Clashley Young === > Fellainimania x 10

[Lewis]

The 'World Clashley Young' stuff is barely even ironic anymore.

[bruhnaldo]

The 'World Clashley Young' stuff is barely even ironic anymore.

Feels good knowing I've literally always rated him despite the world telling me I was crazy

[Lewis]

Feels good knowing I've literally always rated him despite the world telling me I was crazy

Were you a member when he signed? Someone who shall remain nameless (Mahow) cried non-stop for about three weeks he was that against it.

[Lewis]

Is 'dictating the tempo' still in use, or have the fifteen year old fan accounts moved the lingo on from Football Manager? 'The Wilshere Role'.

[bruhnaldo]

Were you a member when he signed? Someone who shall remain nameless (Mahow) cried non-stop for about three weeks he was that against it.

Oh yea I was all for it... thought he was going to be the next great #7 since he wore that at Villa

Speaking of which, was I the only person who thought Nemanja Matic was a top, top signing? He's been passing it about like just about past-it Paul Scholes today.

I wasn't convinced by the fee but I figured he could at least "do a job" but he's been immense this year.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Berahino

[Lewis]

Speaking of which, was I the only person who thought Nemanja Matic was a top, top signing? He's been passing it about like just about past-it Paul Scholes today.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fellainimania

[Lewis]

If that song is so inaccurate, what is putting Lukaku off balance every time?

[niko_cee]

Is Arnautovic injured?

[Lewis]

He's just going to get thirty of those this year.

[Ian]

Running wild.

[Lewis]

Crystal Palace looked a bit less horrendous today, given that they had a few injuries, but fucking lol at no goals in seven games. I wonder who will actually take them down. It must be tenth time unlucky for Steve Coppell.

[Mellberg]

And since Jimmy coated the Villa off we've won four on the bounce. Thanks Jim

[Mellberg]

Young's delivery is unreal and always has been. Brilliant player. Has wasted the last 5 years though.

[Raoul Duke]

Silva shaving his hair off has completely thrown me. Looks so weird.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

When he first unveiled it, I thought City had bought Sneijder.

[Waffdon]

Fkn Willian

That makes absolutely no sense.

[Waffdon]

What an awful five minutes for him so far.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Had money on Morata to score

[Waffdon]

Had money on Morata to score

Hoping Sky Bet void it. They’re normally excellent.