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Thread: The Apprentice 2017: Here Comes the Bastards

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    The Apprentice 2017: Here Comes the Bastards


    Back to business: This year's contestants are (back row, left to right) James White, Ross Fretten, Jeff Wan and Andrew Brady; (middle row, left to right) Jade English, Sarah Lynn, Charles Burns, Bushra Shaikh, Sarah-Jayne Clark, Michaela Wain, Siobhan Smith, Joanna Jarjue, Anisa Topan, Elliot Van Emden, Elizabeth McKenna and Sajan Shah; (front row) Danny Grant (left) and Harrison Jones (right)

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz...#ixzz4topPcdbj
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    Airs on: October 5th

    The candidates are all here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/prof...the-candidates

    James White's forehead is looking promising and Danny Grant with his weird hairline strike me as the potential Vincent-esque hero of the series.

    Also apparently some of them got to fucking during the filming.

    They're starting off by making 'gourmet' burgers. Can't wait.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I was going to moan at you to make this tomorrow, so well in.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Danny will be the mong.

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    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno Reg's Avatar
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    It's been wearing on me the last couple of seasons, partly because the tasks are getting really stale. There are a couple in that photo who don't look like absolute dickheads, so that's good.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I’ve been raised not to be a pushover - in the words of Destiny’s Child, I’m an independent woman.
    Bushra Shaikh

    I’m usually the smartest person in any room and I’ll make sure people know that.
    Ross Fretten

    Women are like tea bags – you don’t know how strong they are until you put them in hot water.
    Sarah Lynn

    I fly aeroplanes, scuba dive, jump off cliffs, paraglide; I’m a blogger and a mother - as well as running my wedding planning business. A lot of people call me superwoman.
    Siobhan Smith

    Pick of the bunch by far:

    I am like a Chinese dish – potent, deliciously driven, full of flavour and I sure do sizzle.
    Sajan Shah

  6. #6
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Nothing wildly tidy like that dumb one last year.

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    I used to be funny.
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    I'd take Bushra home to annoy my racist dad.

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    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    My early pick is like last year, the simpering toff looking one



    Doing his bit for European relations a little too much though - 'Sometimes to get to the top, you have to grease the pole behind you'

  9. #9
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Soon, chaps.

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    When is kickoff? I'd seen this bumped and thought I was missing the first one.

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    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Has anyone who wasn't a sneering shit ever appeared on this? It should have been shut down as a public menace a decade ago for giving us Katie Hopkins.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Now on BBC One.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Going to need subtitles from Michaela, christ.

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    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Project engineer?

    I thought I was clutching...

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    There's no point going to sell the Turkey burgers at lunch? Let's go at 3?

    Yeah because there's HIGH DEMAND at 3.

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    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    These are premium burgers, you look like premium guys

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    £9?

    £7.95 wont see any takers either ffs.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    That's amazingly cut.

    Two dickheads in a hut shouting at no-one to sell some burgers.

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    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    They normally wait a few weeks before illegally lying about food content, they're not fucking about this year.

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    Respect the point. Byron's Avatar
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    I'd definitely buy a pack of burgers with the word organic crossed out.

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    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    These meat food product burgers are ONE OFF you should buy ONE OFF them you'll ONE OFF like them ONE OFF

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    That pitch in the pub was a shambles too.

    I already want both teams to fail.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    A one off fail?

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    Scaring people on the street

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I've never watched this properly before, but does it make sense to just keep your head down for a few weeks and let the divs talk themselves to death?

  26. #26
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    A manic woman in the street shouting 'come here you' at me with some burgers in her hand is my dream.

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    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I've never watched this properly before, but does it make sense to just keep your head down for a few weeks and let the divs talk themselves to death?
    There's NO HIDING PLACE.

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    Senior Member Vim's Avatar
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    Silicon chicken breasts

  29. #29
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    A loss.

    Fuck that reward too. Cooking meat all day and have to go eat veggie shit.

  30. #30
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Tommy Banks?

    Geezer is amazing.

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    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Some absolutely mad hairlines going on for team Vitalite.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I sold two!
    I sold three!

    Brilliant, lads.

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    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Jesus just catching the end of this shit. It's just cunts talking over each other. Gross.

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Where's Wally needs to be gone.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    He looks like he wants to be a hipster but wants to do it slowly.

    Round glasses first and in six months he'll be opening a pop tarts shop.

  36. #36
    Senior Member Vim's Avatar
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    He's pulled out the "with regret" on the first task? Old Sugar's getting soft.

  37. #37
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Danny's hairline was a sight to behold and he had the potential to be a Vincent-like character. The first time I've ever cared at all about the week one firing, I think.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I've never watched this properly before, but does it make sense to just keep your head down for a few weeks and let the divs talk themselves to death?
    Yeah you'll get a couple of weeks out the way if you're doing that.

  38. #38
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Plus has anyone ever thought that 'Lord Sugar' would appreciate somebody just getting on with the job until the opportunity came to show your worth?

  39. #39
    I used to be funny.
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    Pffft. They're not after business. They've got that. They want TV celebrity stakes. Like that Katie Hopkins or ... erm...

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Wanting to put the Asian guy on the numbers

  42. #42
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Elizabeth might be the most infuriating person ever. I'd want to strangle her.

    The Boys' room colours

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    That task seemed odd. I missed the start, but were there actually any rules? How do you "make a profit" on that? Just by not spending the budget?

  44. #44
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    The Asian fella had a great episode, from his skimpy pants to his top flight breaking and his not being able to count.

  45. #45
    Senior Member Weaver's Avatar
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    Should we theme it around a celebrity? Elton John? Tim Henman?

  46. #46
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    My favourite part was the fella charming the woman into dropping the price of the suitcases after the PM's tactic of 'fucking hell these are shit you ripoff twats, 50p the lot yeah?' surprisingly didn't work.

  47. #47
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    That was one of the great negotiations to take place on the show. I want him to try that tactic again.

  48. #48
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    I haven't seen anyone vaguely good so far. The lads are fucking useless and that weird woman who was measuring stuff is basically a caricature of some retard I used to work with.

  49. #49
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Michaela (the Bolton lass with Brian Potter glasses) has looked good. Two good negotiations in the first two weeks as well.

    The rest have been shit though.

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Charles is going to be the mega twat.

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