[FOOTBALL] Weekend Football Thread - 18th/19th/20th/21st August

[Weaver]

Friday
Burton Albion 0 Birmingham 1 at HT

Saturday
Swansea vs Man United - Sky Sports, 12:30
Bournemouth vs Watford
Burnley vs West Brom
Leicester vs Brighton
Liverpool vs Crystal Palace
Southampton vs West Ham
Stoke vs Arsenal - BT Sport, 17:30

Sheffield United vs Barnsley - 12:15
Aston Villa vs Norwich
Bolton vs Derby
Bristol City vs Millwall
Fulham vs Sheffield Wednesday
Ipswich vs Brentford
Nottingham Forest vs Boro
Preston vs Reading
QPR vs Hull
Wolves vs Cardiff
Sunderland vs Leeds - Sky Sports, 17:30

Sunday
Huddersfield Town vs Newcastle - Sky Sports, 13:30
Spurs vs Chelsea - Sky Sports, 16:00

Monday
Man City vs Everton - Sky Sports, 20:00

[Offshore Toon]

Merino is set to don the shit out of the prem thanks to Gypo Jo.

[Ian]

God help me, I'm actually going into the game tomorrow thinking we should win and feeling something like confidence about it. No good can come of this.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We won't lose to Spurs, even though we should. It's still Spurs.

[bruhnaldo]

Apparently Orlando City will be on Sky Sports at 12:30am BST Sunday (Saturday here)

[John]

Orlando are on semi regularly here. Sky have bought all manner of football rights for games they can show at three in the morning.

[bruhnaldo]

I've noticed that. We have a UK based supporters club (I honestly think it's like 10 folks at most) and they mention it from time to time.

If you guys ever want a side team to watch over the summer by all means join us

http://weareorlandocityuk.com/

[Jimmy Floyd]

Orlando are on semi regularly here. Sky have bought all manner of football rights for games they can show at three in the morning.

Reckon that must be gambling ad money for all the addicts.

[John]

I watched one of them and all the adverts were for gambling and cars so you're probably on to something.

[Offshore Toon]

Gambling adverts have definitely gone up a few notches this season, which is a proper middle finger to Joey Barton.

[Ian]

Oh good, Pardew and Henry on sofa duty.

And talking about the srs bznss statistic of United's Premier League record on the 19th of August.

[Ian]

That's the first time I've seen those new line-up photo poses. What a load of absolute shit.

[Waffdon]

Tammy Abraham to run riot. oh eh defo eh.

[randomlegend]

That would have gone in last season.

[Mazuuurk]

Why are Swansea fans booing Rashford in particular...?

[randomlegend]

Apparently he dived against them last season.

[Shindig]

South Shield's crest looks like a union banner. Heroic.

[Ian]

Rashford had about four defenders on him there and nobody offering him the ball out to take the lot of them out of the game.

That would've been a harsh yellow for Paulp.

[Reg]

That turn from Rashford was class.

Why are United playing so narrow, especially Rashford? There's more space out wide and they could actually outnumber Swansea there. Rashford keeps running into two or three bodies in the middle.

[Ian]

Fuck was that?

Once he gets a reliable end product....

[Lewis]

Because Daley Blind could get caught out by continental drift.

[Pleb]

This has nil-nil written all over it.

[randomlegend]

The Swansea fans are such small-time nobheads

[Lewis]

Swanselona mate.

[Lewis]

He poaches as well. Best player in the world.

[Pleb]

If goal line technology activated there

[randomlegend]

Bailly is without a shadow of a doubt the best player - and probably the best human being - in the world.

[randomlegend]

He poaches as well. Best player in the world.

[John Arne]

Why are Swansea playing so defensively. You are at home - you need to be winning your home games - you aren't going to do that playing 1 shit striker up front on his own and inviting Man Utd to push forward every time they have the ball. But then, what do I know.

[Ian]

Bailly even shoots studs-up at chest height.

Because Daley Blind could get caught out by continental drift.

During whatever attack it was down their right I looked at the replay and was about to ask myself where the fuck the left back was until I remembered.

[igor_balis]

Well that was a pretty boring first half.

[Lewis]

Boring is good.

[Lewis]

Imagine if Phil Jones stays fit all season and ends up starting all of our World Cup games. He obviously won't stay fit all season, but just imagine it.

[Ian]

FEC at the back, a revitalised Wayne Rooney up front, literally anybody that isn't Joe Hart chucking in 30 yard free kicks in goal ...we'd be unstoppable.

[John Arne]

Somebody please tell Anthony Martial to cheer the fuck up. every time I see his miserable fucking face, I want to stab the cunt.

[Lewis]

He's done nothing all day as well. Championship form.

[Ian]

That'll do.

[Lewis]

lol he started the move himself.

[randomlegend]

Feels good. This would have somehow ended 1-1 last season.

[randomlegend]

Martial has really got to be starting....

[Ian]

[Raoul Duke]

Somebody please tell Anthony Martial to cheer the fuck up. every time I see his miserable fucking face, I want to stab the cunt.

EDIT: no idea if that image actually works https://imgur.com/ZY79GGJ

[Reg]

Martial has really got to be starting....

Deserves it over Rashford next week. Although either of them will have an advantage running at tired legs.

[Lewis]

If Taz is at home self-harming trying to hate the four goalscorers, how do you think he would do it?

[Ian]

First step would be to get his missus' permission.

[Ian]

The state of those Kilmarnock stats against Celtic. None of the ball, no shots on target. Are teams at the stage of just resting players against Celtic yet?

[Amigo]

I wouldn't mind Swansea going down.

[Lewis]

First step would be to get his missus' permission.

I was thinking burning himself with the iron, but choking himself with his lead is also a possibility.

[igor_balis]

i still think i'd go herrera and matic as the DM/CMs, with pogba behind lukaku, and any two from martial/mata/rashford etc on the wing.

[randomlegend]

Mkhitaryan has 4 assists in two games, you can't just bin him with stats like those.