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Thread: [FOOTIE] Pre-Season Football (Sponsored by THE UNMISSABLE TOUR)

  1. #101
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    http://www.express.co.uk/sport/footb...al-Asia-Trophy

    Kenedy posted two videos on Instagram this week while on tour with the Chelsea squad in China which have caused a stir.

    The first was captioned 'fucking China' while the second clip showed a sleeping security guard with the caption 'wake up China you idiot'.

    lol

  2. #102
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    That's his $700,000 a week payday up shit creek then.

  3. #103
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    I went to watch us against Bradford yesterday. If we keep Lens and Khazri they could be very good in the championship, but it's a big if.

  4. #104
    Senior Member Weaver's Avatar
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    Poor guy.

  5. #105
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    http://www.express.co.uk/sport/footb...al-Asia-Trophy

    Kenedy posted two videos on Instagram this week while on tour with the Chelsea squad in China which have caused a stir.

    The first was captioned 'fucking China' while the second clip showed a sleeping security guard with the caption 'wake up China you idiot'.

    lol
    Got nothing but respect for the man.

  6. #106
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Before the Manchester United v Real Madrid friendly tonight the teams were led out by a man dressed as Ronald McDonald.

  7. #107
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I wonder whether there is - or whether clubs think there is - any advantage to winning these sort of matches. Surely if there are a bunch of non-affiliated Americans watching this between cheeseburger runs onto the concourse then the winning team is liable to pick up more supporters (by which I mean interested units to push sponsored things on)? Or will everyone who cares about this already be in the ground?

  8. #108
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    Probably the worst shootout I have ever seen

  9. #109
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Does that make United lineal champions of Europe?

  10. #110
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Martial misses! Man Utd 0-0 Real Madrid

    Martial blasts his first kick high over the bar

    Kovacic misses! Man Utd 0-0 Real Madrid

    A weak kick straight at De Gea

    McTominay misses! Man Utd 0-0 Real Madrid

    A low penalty comfortably saved to the right.

    Oscar misses! Man Utd 0-0 Real Madrid

    High to De Gea’s left, but the United keeper parries clear.

    Mkhitariyan scores Man Utd 1-0 Real Madrid

    Finally, low to the keeper’s right to open the scoring.

    Quezada scores Man Utd 1-1 Real Madrid

    De Gea got a hand to it, but that’s Madrid on the board.

    Lindelof misses! Man Utd 1-1 Real Madrid

    Terrible penalty trundled up middle off keeper’s legs! This is ridiculous

    Hernandez misses! Man Utd 1-1 Real Madrid

    Well wide of the post. Some kind of metaphor is unfolding here.

    Blind scores! Man Utd 2-1 Real Madrid

    Firm penalty made to look world class by the dross that surrounded it

    Casemiro misses Man Utd 2-1 Real Madrid

    Fittingly, Casemiro crashes the final penalty of a comically awful shootout off the bar, and we can all go home.
    Sounds quality.

  11. #111
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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  12. #112
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    It's amazing how generally terrible the standard of penalties (and corners and free-kicks as well actually) is amongst professional players.

    I remember watching an ACN shootout a few years where about 15 players in a row just banged it in the top corner, and yet the 'best players in the world' often serve up shit like the above.

  13. #113
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Zambia.

  14. #114
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Migraine View Post
    Greatest shootout ever.

  15. #115
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Migraine View Post
    It's amazing how generally terrible the standard of penalties (and corners and free-kicks as well actually) is amongst professional players.

    I remember watching an ACN shootout a few years where about 15 players in a row just banged it in the top corner, and yet the 'best players in the world' often serve up shit like the above.
    ACN shootouts look great because the goalkeepers are terrible. Penalty shootouts are all about goalkeepers.

    You're right on set pieces though. Probably the one area of football that has gone definitively backwards in the last 15 years, except under managers like Pulis who seek to exploit them. I think the reason is that you can't really measure quality of set piece taking and you can't plot it using sports science.

  16. #116
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    That shootout brings back fond memories of the Sunderland vs. Manchester United League Cup semi-final. The penalties were similarly atrocious and we won by the same score.

  17. #117
    Senior Member Amigo's Avatar
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    I've been watching a bit of the women's Euros and the refereeing in the tournament is just hilarious awful. You have to wonder why UEFA don't just use male referees. It almost seems unfair to the teams to be subjected to these clowns.

  18. #118
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    A bit good by Martial.

  19. #119
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    That was all Fellainimania.

  20. #120
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    That footwork is ridiculous. Martial did well afterwards too.

  21. #121
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    The United - Barcelona game has been really good so far.

    Pogba is looking

  22. #122
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    There's no chance we are getting away with it with their front 3 for the full 90 minutes.

  23. #123
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    He's going to have an immense season.

  24. #124
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Blind has been absolutely atrocious this game.

    He's probably been Barca's most accurate passer.

  25. #125
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  26. #126
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Fellainimania is in its element here.

  27. #127
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Ref is a right gimp.

  28. #128
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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  29. #129
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quest TV, channel 144 on Sky, are showing the Emirates Cup. Two each between Arsenal and Benfica at the moment.

  30. #130
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    Yeah, I saw it earlier on Twitter. Celtic fan looked in a bad way. What is Tommy Robinson doing in Sunderland wearing a Rangers shirt, when Celtic are here for a game? There were 8,000+ Celtic fans, and in far less important news, they just put five past us.

  31. #131
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    He said something on Twitter about Celtic fans supporting Palestine without actually knowing anything and got a load of shit for it so he decided to bowl in and noise them up. Seems to have managed it.

  32. #132
    Senior Member ScousePig's Avatar
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    If you can access the bottom video in that link or find it on Twitter, he filmed the aftermath himself, and was extremely smug.

    Ibrox Loyal on Twitter has it.

  33. #133
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    In lieu of half time analysis they're filling the whole of half time with an advert for varnish. They've had a man just talking you through the process of varnishing a table for the last five minutes. How great.

  34. #134
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The Celtic fans calling him a wanker and saying they support 'other' oppressed minorities seem like a special bunch.

  35. #135
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Get the graph.



    There's a rape going on in Berlin.

    Big Dom Solanke is the new Diego Costa.

  36. #136
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    The ball from Coutinho to Salah was fucking awesome ...over the top, through two defenders... inch perfect. #top4


  37. #137
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    #top4

    Fucking hell.

  38. #138
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Classic pre-season goal that.

    Not a chance West Brom will play that high of a line in the league.

  39. #139
    I used to be funny.
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    First friendly defeat to Mainz. I know you shouldn't read into these but I'm not confident of survival this year.

  40. #140
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    First friendly defeat to Mainz. I know you shouldn't read into these but I'm not confident of survival this year.
    It means nothing. Look at the friendlies before our 5th place season in 2011-12. We made 9 subs today. Its just a run out.

  41. #141
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    First friendly defeat to Mainz. I know you shouldn't read into these but I'm not confident of survival this year.
    Yeah, beware Mainz in pre-season.

  42. #142
    Senior Member Samadini's Avatar
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    Watching Aarons look really promising every pre season is starting to get a bit sad. At least the injuries he has suffered don't seem to have finished him, as some were suggesting might happen.

  43. #143
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Aye, there's nothing worth getting excited about yet as far as Aarons is concerned. Lejeune appears to have an insane first touch, though.

  44. #144
    Senior Member Samadini's Avatar
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    Hopefully he'll play alongside Clark and Lascelles can captain the side from the bench. Clark was the only defender last season that looked premier league quality, he was class. Think that was one of those transfers that worked for everyone, Villa fans seemed happy to see him go, so he was obviously doing crap there and the move was something he needed, as he's one of the best players at Newcastle now.

  45. #145
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    The sparkled Sellick fan on the mighty Union Jack pillow.

  46. #146
    Senior Member Weaver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samadini View Post
    Watching Aarons look really promising every pre season is starting to get a bit sad. At least the injuries he has suffered don't seem to have finished him, as some were suggesting might happen.
    That chip against Schalke the other year

    I don't really know where NUFC are 'at' at the moment - our business seems to have been pretty low key, but the core of our squad is probably enough to stay up anyway.

    Would like for us to get rid of a few (Saivet, Rivieire etc are still hanging about), clear up the goalkeeping situation and then bring in a new striker and another winger.

  47. #147
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    I didn't watch us much last season, so can't really comment. That bloke we signed yesterday from Dortmund was getting a lot of praise on Reddit from Dortmund and Osasuna fans, so it could be an inspired signing.

  48. #148
    Senior Member Samadini's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weaver View Post
    That chip against Schalke the other year

    I don't really know where NUFC are 'at' at the moment - our business seems to have been pretty low key, but the core of our squad is probably enough to stay up anyway.

    Would like for us to get rid of a few (Saivet, Rivieire etc are still hanging about), clear up the goalkeeping situation and then bring in a new striker and another winger.
    Not sure I'm as confident as you are on that front, I think it will be a struggle, the 11 looks very underwhelming to me, it's the fact that they're motivated (when was the last time you could say that about a Newcastle squad) and there's a good manager that gives me hope for the season.

  49. #149
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    I see numbers coming in but maybe not much recognised quality. Team spirit's going to be key.

  50. #150
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    I think Lejeune and Moreno could turn out to be great signings. Manquillo is hugely underwhelming, but should only be backup so could be Rafa's Perchinho. Then there's Atsu who does have glimpses of quality but I doubt he'll find any real consistency. It's believed that Rafa wants four more players, but he spoke at a Q&A on Thursday about how difficult it's been. Apparently he had dinner with Tammy Abraham, who told Rafa he'd sign for Newcastle, only to then sign for Swansea. He said they also had three other players lined up in May who were ready to sign, but then other clubs came sniffing.

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