Some Advice Needed (GS and Jim, get in here)

[Yevrah]

I'm organising a shopping list Apprentice style task for a stag do and having played around with the permutations I've come up with the below shopping list, with guide price and fine.

For the fine I've gone for double the price of the item or a fiver, whichever is greater.

Can the analytical minds among you spot any drawbacks of the system below or a way it could be gamed?

Fine is applied if they don't get the item and team who spend the least (inclusive of fines) wins.

Guide Fine
Item 1 3.00 6.00
Item 2 5.00 10.00
Item 3 3.00 6.00
Item 4 0.50 5.00
Item 5 10.00 20.00
Item 6 1.50 5.00
Item 7 3.00 6.00
Item 8 5.00 10.00
Item 9 5.00 10.00
Item 10 6.00 12.00
Item 11 3.00 6.00
Item 12 3.00 6.00
Item 13 2.00 5.00
Item 14 5.00 10.00
Item 15 5.00 10.00

Ta muchly.

[Offshore Toon]

What are the items?

[Lewis]

If you had to parody how a forty year old accountant would approach BANTER this would be it.

[Yevrah]

A couple of the attendees know I post here, so I'd rather not say. Should all be available from the high street, but they have significance for the stag.

[Yevrah]

If you had to parody how a forty year old accountant would approach BANTER this would be it.

I fucking knew you'd say that.

Make yourself useful and answer the question, you're a bright guy.

[Magic]

Get them signed up ffs.

[Giggles]

Is that what stags are now?

[Lewis]

I fucking knew you'd say that.

Make yourself useful and answer the question, you're a bright guy.

Not with numbers. Wait for GS.

[7om]

Yeah, get your mates signed up on here and regale us with endless tales of irl Yevrage.

[Reg]

Is the idea of the 50p item that it's easy to find and therefore should have a higher fine relative to price?

Other than that nothing stands out. Not that I'm good with numbers so er, yeah.

[Pleb]

Item 4 clearly is a tin of ASDA smart price baked beans.

[Yevrah]

Is that what stags are now?

On a serious note, they kind of seem to be.

I was up for going balls deep in Europe, but was under strict instructions that it was one night only, in England, with an afternoon activity that didn't involve alcohol.

It's probably the one area I agree with mert on in terms of male pussification.

I think it must have started when stag do's were unceremoniously moved from the day before the wedding to a month before.

[Offshore Toon]

Who needs GS when you've got Pleb?

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, stags should be the night before. Also, a bloke from school had a joint stag/hen do the other week. If you don't have enough friends just go to the registry office.

[Giggles]

On a serious note, they kind of seem to be.

I was up for going balls deep in Europe, but was under strict instructions that it was one night only, in England, with an afternoon activity that didn't involve alcohol.

It's probably the one area I agree with mert on in terms of male pussification.

I think it must have started when stag do's were unceremoniously moved from the day before the wedding to a month before.

Did that come from the bride or groom? They could have just did the right thing and canned it altogether.

[Yevrah]

Is the idea of the 50p item that it's easy to find and therefore should have a higher fine relative to price?

Other than that nothing stands out. Not that I'm good with numbers so er, yeah.

The higher fine relative to the price is because if I don't do that, nobody will bother getting it as the penalty for not won't have much of an impact.

[Spikey M]

Just play ring of fire and make the stag wear a skirt, you cunt.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, stags should be the night before. Also, a bloke from school had a joint stag/hen do the other week. If you don't have enough friends just go to the registry office.

Jesus, that is about as lame as it gets and exactly what I'm on about.

When/why did this happen?

[Lewis]

All of these posts point to Yevrah being the stag.

[Offshore Toon]

Jesus, that is about as lame as it gets and exactly what I'm on about.

When/why did this happen?

All I know is he's diabetic and works in IT.

[Giggles]

My Mrs has the hen next weekend now that I think of it. They're all fucking off for the 2 nights so hooves up and takeaways for myself

[Yevrah]

Perhaps introduce other punishments to combat that? Easier things to find should have bigger fines, harder stuff more lenient and then maybe fines if you only get 5 out of 15 or something.

Get all 15, happy days, get 5 easy ones, you're fucked, get five hard ones then potentially you could still fair better than someone who got 10. Etc.?

Need to keep it simple rather than going all Numberwang on people, even if that might be a better idea.

[Offshore Toon]

My mate's stag was an eye-opener to how scarce hookers are in Jersey. Got a couple of numbers online but they were porkos and wouldn't come to the pub.

[Pepe]

This is beta as fuck.

[Offshore Toon]

Get Pleb involved to Alpha things up.

He can be Item 12.

[Pepe]

Not that I understand how whatever he is trying to do works.

[Foe]

My mate's stag was an eye-opener to how scarce hookers are in Jersey. Got a couple of numbers online but they were porkos and wouldn't come to the pub.

So MJs missus opted for Jersey? Fair enough.

[Boydy]

My mate's stag that I 'organised' was just pubs, dinner, an old pub we used to go to all the time and then a terrible club we used to go to quite often. He didn't want any zany antics which was good. That's because he's not a gimp.

Our other really good friend who was involved in some of the loose planning moaned the whole fucking day about my bad organisation. He's a bit autistic though and gets a proper hard on for organisation and that. Guess what his job is?

[John]

Stag dos for almost everyone I know are going in the opposite direction to the 'joint hen and stag' and 'Apprentice challenge in Norwich' stuff we have here.

I had one a couple of years ago who wanted to go to Ayr races but I'm absolutely convinced that was because his wife didn't trust him to leave the country without her rather than any desire on his part to save money or whatever. All the others have essentially been shapeless four day parties in Europe.

[Offshore Toon]

I reckon you could have a great stag somewhere like Sark or Herm. People could wander wherever they like and everybody would still end up in the same place around 8pm.

[Giggles]

Last one I went on was a weekend of basically drinking morning, noon, and night. There was one meal and I skipped out on it while waiting for the starters because they were being too loud and embarrassing the fuck out of me in the restaurant.

[Offshore Toon]

Isn't it just the mermaid in Herm?

I think there's a hotel you can drink in, but exploring the island with cans would be the best way to go about it.

[Magic]

I think it sounds perfectly enjoyable, Yerv.

[Offshore Toon]

My memory is shit but other than a few secluded spots and the statue with it's dick hanging out I don't think there is anything else to explore either.

Nice if you want to relax but not for a stag do.

As opposed to being sat in a pub? Being out and about is the best place to be if you're drinking.

[Offshore Toon]

I haven't even been to Guernsey.

[Offshore Toon]

I wouldn't purely because of how unreliable the boat services to Herm/Sark are, but if the weather was nice I don't see how you couldn't have a great day there.

I'm aware of how small it is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can the analytical minds among you spot any drawbacks of the system below or a way it could be gamed?

Fine is applied if they don't get the item and team who spend the least (inclusive of fines) wins.

Guide Fine
Item 1 3.00 6.00
Item 2 5.00 10.00
Item 3 3.00 6.00
Item 4 0.50 5.00
Item 5 10.00 20.00
Item 6 1.50 5.00
Item 7 3.00 6.00
Item 8 5.00 10.00
Item 9 5.00 10.00
Item 10 6.00 12.00
Item 11 3.00 6.00
Item 12 3.00 6.00
Item 13 2.00 5.00
Item 14 5.00 10.00
Item 15 5.00 10.00

Ta muchly.

Assuming the 15 items are approximately equally difficult to find, it makes sense as a participant to concentrate solely on the seven £10+ fine items first, as not finding one of these will be at least twice as costly as not finding an item with a £5 fine value.

For perfection I'd want the higher value items also to be rare and/or difficult to find, so that risks/choices have to be made.

[Yevrah]

Cheers Jim, on that basis, do you think equalising the fines would make more sense?

The £10 item's an outlier that needs sorting/removing as well.

[Pepe]

I think different fines make sense to add some strategy to it. Could maybe increase/decrease them a bit based on the rarity of the item.

[Spikey M]

Fines should be done on a shot / down it based system. It's a stag, you woofter.

[Giggles]

Fines should be done on a shot / down it based system. It's a stag, you woofter.

Just wait til they get to the interview section. It'll be a hoot.

[Shindig]

"Your task is to drink all of these things."

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cheers Jim, on that basis, do you think equalising the fines would make more sense?

The £10 item's an outlier that needs sorting/removing as well.

No, I think you've got it right with the differential fines, I'd just want to build in some reflection of abundance/rarity into the values. If they're all equally abundant/rare, then maybe have fewer high value items (say 4/5 out of 15, instead of 7).

[niko_cee]

I reckon you could have a great stag somewhere like Sark or Herm. People could wander wherever they like and everybody would still end up in the same place around 8pm.

I'm going on a stag do to Sark in June.

Hopefully it doesn't piss it down. Sark Disco.

[Offshore Toon]

I'm going on a stag do to Sark in June.

Hopefully it doesn't piss it down. Sark Disco.

Make sure you let Smiffy know how good it was.

[niko_cee]

My guess would be:

Boat, hill, beer(s) in the Bel Air, wander, beer(s) somewhere else (Mermaid?), wander, beers/lunch somewhere (if anything is open anymore), clay pigeon shooting (!!!!), wander back to Bel Air, more beers before last boat people have to go, hedge sleepers remain, dinner, back to the Mermaid for the Sark Disco (I have no idea if this exists any more).

I'm on your side regarding Herm. Can't see how that would work unless you coincided with their beer/cider festival, which would be awesome. Town, boat across, beer, cider and food for 4 hours, back on the 10pm boat, the night is still young.