2016: What happened?
http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showth...-What-Happened
Following on from last year, here's what happened this year...
January started off a little quieter in 2016, no doubt to lull us in to a false sense of security for what was to come. Early Jan saw North Korea quietly announced they'd successfully tested a thermonuclear weapon (cue millions of lolTeamAmerica gifs). On the same day, the new Star Wars smashed the Avatar opening day box office record. Far more interesting news (I saw it at iMax, you know...allbeit 2 months after it was released). 'EL CHAPO' (the wanker who escaped with that mesmerising tunnel in Mehico) was recaptured. January also saw the WHO declare the Zika virus as an outbreak, prompting all sorts of pant shitting RE the Olympics. ISIS also enshrined their cuntery by destroying the oldest Christian church in Iraq.
Tim Peake () also happened, along with us finally blaming Russia for Litvinenko's death. Perhaps the saddest moment in January was the final Landie rolling off the production line in Solihull. Even sadder than Bowie and Rickman; this set us up nicely for a year tainted with celebrity deaths.
February opens a little more dramatically, with the WHO declaring the now rampant Zika outbreak as a 'global public health emergency'. Even more pant shitting RE the Olympics. North Korea also successfully launched a long range rocket in to space. This was met with many less lolgifs and much panic and condemnation, even from China. Lord Lucan is officially declared dead, along with Viola Beach, who beached their car right in to a raised bridge at high speed. David Cameron set the ball rolling for one of the most major events in for ages as he declared a referendum would be held on the 23rd of June for Britian's membership of the European Union to be decided by a public vote hashtagdemocracy. Other than that, it was a pretty boring pile of shit.
And now we come to March. Here we fucking go. BREXIT SCAREMONGERING really picked up towards the end of Feb and in to March after the official vote announcement. Sharapova came out about failing a drugs test causing so much sporting faux-outrage and sponsor dropping. The MIGRANT CRISIS saw a few Eastern European nations close their borders to any more refugees. There was that horrific suicide bombing in Ankara at a peace rally, and President Obama visited Cuba, becoming the first US president since 1928 to do so.
Now the exciting stuff. A reign of terror came down upon Bruxells (yes, you were a cunt on Twitter if you didn't use the PROPER spelling). Suicide bombings at the airport and the metro station left 32 dead and hundreds more injured in what was essentially a re-run of the Paris attacks. Shortly after there was a much bigger bombing in Lahore, during a Christian festival, that left 75 dead and countless more maimed and injured.
Ratko Mladic was sentenced to 40 years in jail by the ICT for Srebrenica. Adam Johnson was sentenced to 6 years causing much outrage by Harold and co. A nice way to end the month after the previous horrific news. Rob Ford (mental Canadian mayor) and the Cruyffster popped their clogs this month.
Following that excitement, April was actually pretty boring. The UK news at least was full of boring BREXIT bullshit rhetoric from both equally unlikeable sides of the argument, and the official CAMPAIGNS were launched. The Panama Papers were published, which revealed what we all already knew. The only saving grace for April was the untimely death of Prince (and Chyna).
May began with Leicester winning the EPL and Lee becoming the most unbearable cunt on here. Ted Cruz suspended his presidential campaign after being crushed by The Donald. Sadiq Khan becomes the first Muslim mayor of a Western city to absolutely troll Harold and co. EgyptAir Flight 804 crashes en route to Cairo from Paris, killing all on board. The cause of the crash is still under investigation, but just recently authorities said they'd found traces of explosives on the bodies of the dead. Again a pretty uneventful month. #pray4harambe began as the big bastard was shot for caring for a wee bastard that fell in to his enclosure at a zoo.
Now it all really kicks off. June saw us, the UK, vote to leave the EU setting off a series of reactions that we're still not finished with. The Pulse shootings happened in America (the worst mass shooting in their history). It was claimed by ISIL but we all thought the guy was just a homophobic lunatic. MP Jo Cox was murdered outside her offices in a BREXIT INSPIRED killing (another lunatic). Suicide bombers attacked Ankara airport, killing 42 and wounding hundreds. At the very end of the month various Tories chuck their hats in the ring for the leadership as Cameron resigns. The Colombian Government and the FARC rebels sign a peace agreement.
Euro 2016 begins, and we see utterly embarrassing behaviour from gimps who still think it's the 80s and Russian ULTRAS in France. I maintain the Periscope RT streams were the most exciting thing about the tournament. Collymore also made a complete twunt of himself. The most embarrassing thing though was England's most embarrassing defeat EVER at the hands of a bunch of wood chopping bearded cunts with the same surnames. LOL. The seethe was tremendous. Celebrity deaths include THE GREATEST, Luis Salom and of course, Kimbo Slice.
What a month July was. It began with a fair few terrorist attacks in shit countries, and Pistorius was sentenced to 6 years in prison for the murder of his bird. The long awaited Chilcot enquiry was published, and concluded that it was a complete waste of time. A few blacks in America were shot for nothing by white police officers prompting the #BLM movement. A lone gunman in Texas murders 5 police officers in revenge for the killings. The siege of Aleppo begins, thanks to Russian airstrikes breaking the rebels' supply chain. Clinton and Trump became the front runners to be the next US president, and the FBI criticised Clinton for her (mis)use of classified emails. Theresa May became the second female PM in the UK's history.
Shit got real in Turkey when a military coup failed miserably resulting in Erdogan claiming absolute power. It was awesome to watch live, though. Pokemon Go is released, and we really find out how many fucking freaks there are in the world. Pretty cool month for sport too, with Portugal winning their first ever major international trophy, and Andy Murray won Wimbledon. Chris Froome won the TDF as well.
August sees the 2016 Olympics begin (and end), amidst Zika worries and worries that Brazil is a third world shithole. As it happened, it produced some of the most stunning performances ever seen at an Olympic games. There was (another) suicide bombing in Turkey, this time at a wedding killing 51. A massive earthquake struck central Italy, killing 268 (not so pretty now!). The final BHS stores finally closed, bringing an end to their 88 year rule of the high street. Gene Wilder passed away too.
September was a pretty cool month (initially). The US and China ratified the global climate agreement. This is to become pretty lol when it's revealed nearer the end of the month that global Co2 levels are the highest they've ever been at any point in human history. Hurricane Matthew begins, eventually killing over 1000 people in Haiti and surrounding areas. North Korea conducts it's biggest nuclear test yet, again causing much concern among the international community. Investigators also confirm that MH17 was brought down by pro-Russian rebels in Ukraine. Russia lols it off. Corbs wins the Labour Party leadership and is re-elected. Arnold Palmer and Shimon Peres died in September.
In October, after signing the peace agreement in June, the people of Colombia reject the peace agreement in a public vote. The president of Colombia wins the Nobel Peace Prize for his 'attempts' regardless, which I found pretty lol. Speaking of Noble, Dylan wins the Nobel prize for literature (has he collected it yet?). There's a lot of bullshit in the US campaings for presidency, including misogyny videos and Russian hacking claims. Ched Evans is found NOT GUILTY, prompting an absolute wave of hate against women on the internet. Pete Burns and Carlos Alberto were lost this month.
Now we're near the end of this seismic year, far too much to be covered by a simple paragraph review but I've tried my best. We've talked and talked about most of the issues here at large (very large) so there's no need to delve in further. We find ourselves in November now, a month that saw Nico Drossberg clinch the F1 title for the first (and last) time in his career. Andy Murray also became Tennis World No.1. A chartered flight from Brazil to Colombia crashed, killing all 77 people on board. Turns out the entire Chapecoense team were on it. The Operation Fewtballtree scandal comes to light as well thanks to Andy Woodward's bravery, and is still ongoing. Most things sporting related this month, apart from the most seismic thing of all: TRUMP WINS the 45th US presidential election! Leonard Cohen, Andrew Sachs and the imperial Fidel Castro came to an end in November.
And we are here, the final month of 2016, December. Still in progress, I might add. So we begin with the UN admitting it's peacekeepers were directly responsible for the Cholera epidemic in Haiti that killed over 30,000 people. Lol at that. Another plane crash this time in Pakistan. A bomb is believed to have been the culprit. We just saw the Turkish bombings outside the Besiktas stadium, in a terrorist incident related to the PKK, killing 38 people. The ceasefire and evacuation of Aleppo begins, but is constantly disrupted by shelling and heavy fighting. It is a desperate situation.
It is not a good end to this year, nor was it a good beginning, or middle. We have seen things happen that will have effects far, far reaching in to the future. 2017 should be an interesting year purely to reflect on what happened in 2016. I doubt we will see such drama, but we will definitely see how this drama affects the world in the short term. Eek! Happy New Year folks.
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Originally Posted by Giggles
