I'm not on FB, but that's because i'm an unsociable bastard. My wife shows me some comments on it, some of which can be quite cringeworthy.Originally Posted by Manc
I was on it for a 6 month spell when i was single. It was bloody brilliant to use when picking up women.
My wife's colleague's wife consistently has FB breaks, which she ensures everyone know about on FB. She'll also check in midway through the hiatus to update people. It's brilliant.
The best/worst thing like that was when the always dreadful Caitlin Moran boycotted twitter for one fucking DAY. Fuck sake.
'The Dickhead' on Facebook posted a picture of a cut up credit card with this today:
#paid and #cutupp #5k #limitededition #gold #credit #card #2016 #gunna be #debtfree #realshit #bosslifestyle
He is the reason why I hate Facebook...
That isn't facebook per se, that's having really thick people added. Make smarter friends, and block the idiots from your news feed.
Just get rid of them altogether.
Delete him then. Coming here to whinge about it just makes you the twat to all of us.
I've not gone on my Facebook for about five years and I've never done any of the other stuff.
I am coming to the conclusion that, shit as it is, I am somewhat disadvantaging myself by not being more on it when all my mates use it. You do tend to miss stuff.
I'm clearly fine with that role.
That example from Mahow is more 'so bad it's good' than annoying to me. The irritants have been blocked from my news feed, but the REALLY mental people remain to give me a laugh.
U ok hun?
This girl is probably my favourite mentalist:
Not much posted since then, but she's up to level 35 on 'criminal case'.
July 28th - 'Misses her baby boyyy soooooooooooo much want u bk here wiv me I hate us being apart ring me babycakes xxxxx — with (name of some bloke).'
July 31st - 'So glad we bk together love u millions my sexy man love u for life xxxxxx — with (same bloke tagged).
later on the same day - 'Just want my man back here with me and his child where he belongs we were so happy last nite back in our home dunno wot keeps goin wrong just wish we cud be happy like we were a couple of months ago x — with (same again).'
August 4th - (same bloke) and her Got Engaged
August 5th - 'Wishes she was loved'
August 7th - 'I'm sorry for ruining your life I will always love u I still do more than anythin this is killing me babes but I'm sorry for wrecking your life xxxx — with (same bloke tagged).'
October 1st - They're set as being in a 'complicated relationship'
October 2nd - Set as being engaged again
October 7th - 'Hate my life right now everythin is fallin apart just don't know wat the point is anymore'
She's probably either engaged with him for the 20th time or she's killed him.
I think the same. But then I realise I can't be Arsenal to read about my friends telling me how their day is going or bragging about the best aspects of their life. Sometimes I think I'm not a very nice person. Or maybe I'm the jealous type.
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Yes @igor_balis
Not sure I trust LR, who stalked me, added me then PM'd me asking for permission.
Could be one of those freaks that comments on things all the time in a weird way prompting questions about how I know an ex-junkie from Leeds who's now an alcoholic and somehow works in a bank.
It's Dundee, surely half your friends list are ex-junkies.
Just say you met him at football.
Ex?
Speaking of Facebook, my friend's sister invited me to his going-away party next month (he's joining the Navy) and for a lol I said I wasn't going and told her that we would be having our own private celebration. I then sent him a 'lol your sister is giving it large because...' message, and the stupid bitch has since added 'SURPRISE PARTY' to the title.
Sounds like you are being autistic rather than her.
You're such a dickhead, Lewis.
Who arranges a surprise party via Facebook without making it clear? The group was up for three hours before the title edit.
Three hours isn't very long, really.
Who says they're not going and having a private celebration with the person who's leaving instead? You weirdo.
He doesn't even want a going-away party, and we planned to go in town before he went.
Why, though, are you friends with people who are up for joining the Navy?
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Lewis should probably join the Navy himself.
He's doing it because he doesn't see another way out of his boring situation, but I don't have the temperament for the forces (or anything overly-regimented).
How are y'all 'picking up chicks' on Facebook? Maybe the FB culture is different in the States, but I've never heard of anyone getting laid through Facebook. Snapchat's great for that, face to face-to-face (or dick-to-face) is best, but Facebook? Do you post on her wall? Message her? Poke her? Weird shit mang.
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Well this was 4 yrs ago, and I'd still meet the women out in clubs and bars, but I'd use Facebook instead of my numberto connect with them.
This was great because it meant i could check them out once my beer goggles had gone, just to make sure I hadn't done anything horrendous (which happened on the odd occasion).
I remember I pulled one girl who's face was in the Sub newspaper the following day. She had sold her story about sleeping with an x factor contestant at the time.
Sounds like you were upset that she had arranged a party for your friend which took over your already made plans (albeit smaller plans) to go for a drink with him.
You then subconsciously ruined her party.
Yeah that sounds about right.
I don't get told such things because I forget their surprises or secrets then unintentionally drop them in it.
"What you doing on the weekend, Tim?"
"Going to your party you daft tw.....oh fuck"
I've never been to a surprise party except when I did someone a favour by running the bar at one. It was absolutely shite. Some pube headed twat turning 30 was told he was going out for dinner, but was instead led in unlikely fashion to the venue which is miles away from any restaurants. He rocks up, his 9/10 girlfriend (he is a 4, and has no friends, I mean come on) shouts 'Surprise!' to reveal about 30 people, 10 of whom are older family and most of the rest aren't even drinking. The night fizzles to a climax in which literally the fattest human I've ever seen, who has to be helped to walk and buys four cans of Coke off me at a time, unveils his party piece which is to sing 'Angels' by Robbie Williams to a ridiculously high standard, before begging me for free crisps because he is skint.
I therefore assume they are all like that.
My wife's friend organised her own "surprise" 30th birthday party. Even had everyone shout "SURPRISE" when she walked in and acted shocked and emotional in a non-sarcastic manner. The stupid twat.
That's got to be bollocks. If not, has she been certified?
Ha, that story is great Jimmy, it really captures a particularly English grim desolation. Of course it was that fucking song as well. There's probably about 20 different fat blokes singing Angels in various drinking establishments around our green and pleasant land on any given Saturday night.
Only her close friends knew she was involved in the organising. The other 70 odd people all thought it was a genuine surprise.
I would hate a surprise party and have made that abundantly clear to the very limited pool of people who might ever throw me one, but my girlfriend threw one for her parents' silver anniversary the other year and it went really well. There were probably close to a hundred people there - including her unexpectedly back from university - but they hadn't the slightest idea it was going to happen.
I don't any friends to do one for me anyway.
Fucking bitch receptionist at the local health centre just audibly sighed at me on the phone because I asked if I could get a prescription from them today instead of having to wait till tomorrow. It's a repeat one anyway, how fucking hard is it to print it off and have the doctor sign it. It'd take a minute, tops.
Can't you just have a repeat prescription approved by a pharmacist?
I dunno. I didn't think they did that. I've always just phoned the doctors' surgery and had them send it through to the local pharmacy. They even have an option on the switchboard when you call up for repeat prescriptions.
Jimmy is one of the last people I thought would rate people for their looks out of 10. Mert-lite.
I thought that seemed pretty out of character as well.
http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/1674.asp...CategoryID=161
I don't really know how any of it works to be fair, but I was always under the impression a repeat prescription didn't need much involvement from the doctor/surgery after it was given. That seems like the whole point to me. I'm sure I've seen people in Boots having them renewed.
Commenting on physical attraction at all is fairly out of character, to be honest. I'll have a long, hard think about my behaviour.
That sounds like a horrible euphemism given the context, you nasty man.
I was more surprised at 'pube headed twat'. You'd be glad of those, mate.
Who says they have to be fat. A few fine ales and whatever else is required and I'm able to belt out various greats from our national treasures all sung in a deep Black Country hum. As if to highlight the desolation of the Midlands even more.
Test.
Someone give him a 'that's the joke' gif, I'm on a phone.
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