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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #5151
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Our neighbour has a company transit van and it has been going off for the last 15 minutes or so.

    It only stops for about 10 seconds between each blast too so it's fairly constant.

    Fuck knows how he hasn't heard it yet.

  2. #5152
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Alarm has stopped but his hazards are still going.

    I'm going to lol heartily if it drains his battery.

    Edit: They're off now so no battery drainage

  3. #5153
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    They cancelled it no fuss, so all good.

  4. #5154
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I went to do my tyre pressures on the car and my chutney ferretting neighbour is fucking around outside again, so I've left the kit beside the car and am curtain twitching until he closes his garage door and fucks off inside. He really is a boring cunt, and I'm also wearing a jumper with no t-shirt because my housy is in the washing.

  5. #5155
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    I forgot to say some cunt dog shat in my garden (right in the middle of the grass), so I had to scoop it up and stick it in the outside bin. Had to cut the grass as well so left a square patch where the shite was until it disintegrates or whatever shite does after a period of time. Filthy fucking cunts, I've got my claw hammer ready if I even get a whiff of a dog within 10 yards of my garden.

  6. #5156
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    So you picked up the shit but also didn't pick up the shit?

  7. #5157
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Presumably it was a somewhat wet shit and there's still some of it stuck to the grass.

  8. #5158
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    That's correct. A nice hard outer coating lead me in to a false sense of ease.

  9. #5159
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    My greed.

    I've eaten so much that I think I might throw up.

  10. #5160
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Left the house at 8:45 today with a fully 100% charged phone. Current time, 12:06 with 16%.

    Fuck the iPhone 6.

  11. #5161
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    And I bet you spent those 4 hours crawling through Twitter for CREATIVE CONTENT.

  12. #5162
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Serves you right really, iphones are shit.

  13. #5163
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    And I bet you spent those 4 hours crawling through Twitter for CREATIVE CONTENT.
    You've completely lost your touch over the last few months. Anything going on?

  14. #5164
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I thought my almost three year old Galaxy S5 was bad because I have to charge it again when I get home from work.

  15. #5165
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I thought my almost three year old Galaxy S5 was bad because I have to charge it again when I get home from work.
    The 6 is 3 years old tbf.

  16. #5166
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    You've completely lost your touch over the last few months. Anything going on?
    Aw it's sweet you thought I actually had a touch.

  17. #5167
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    The 6 is 3 years old tbf.
    Yeah but have you actually had the phone for three years? I think the S5 is actually older. But I mean I've had this phone for almost three years.

  18. #5168
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Yeah but have you actually had the phone for three years? I think the S5 is actually older. But I mean I've had this phone for almost three years.
    Yeah I got it the week of release like a teenage girl outside the Apple Store except I got them to post it to me.

  19. #5169
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    How do I get a lizard out of my house?

    It's too fast to catch (even if I could I'd probably crush the poor buggar) and it won't run onto something I can pick up.

  20. #5170
    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno Reg's Avatar
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    A trail of blueberries leading to the door.

  21. #5171
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Aren't all Swiss folk meant to be armed with rifles? Just set up a sniper's nest and shoot it when it appears.

  22. #5172
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Rifles? Dream on. They're stuck with their little knives.

  23. #5173
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  24. #5174
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    i hate when i enter one thread with new posts then go back to the main page and then all of a sudden all of the "NEW POSTS" threads become unbolded and i have to look at the timestamps and just imagine if I've entered the thread since the last post or not.

  25. #5175
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Sack phonics.

  26. #5176
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    1) We don't organise that conference.
    2) You mention you're a journalist, I was of the belief a key skill of journalism is independent research yet you can't google a website
    3) What the fuck is that spelling?

  27. #5177
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    Sounds like bullshit

  28. #5178
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We booked a holiday with flights from Southend at extra cost to avoid stress. Cue a 2 hour flight delay, a delay in getting the steps to the fucking plane and spending ages on a coach waiting for some wheelchair bound cunt to turn up. We were meant to be here for 2pm and nearly missed dinner.

    On the plus side they have actual pints. It’s an all inclusive and they are serving genuine, not watered down, pints of beer. More over - they have a self service beer tap at the pool bar. It was closed by the time we got there but I can’t fucking wait to get involved.

  29. #5179
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Lol amateur DJs have started playing that Journey song in its live version. Hahaha. Cubes.

  30. #5180
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    You in da club?

  31. #5181
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    No at a 40th. Some absolute tings tho. And Gary Caldwell lol.

  32. #5182
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    I've just seen an advert for a channel dedicated to showing nothing but Christmas films. It's launching in a fortnight. Christmas films in fucking October, I might microwave my Sky box.

  33. #5183
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's only Christmas when you've heard your first Fairytale.

  34. #5184
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Germans. Malaga airport is full of them and they are cunts to a man.

  35. #5185
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I could write a book on why Germans are shit. Just the 2-3 weeks I've spent immersed there on trips/exchanges in the past provided more than enough material, although Jürgen Klopp arriving on these shores has handily reinforced the genre.

    Example: of all the words they could use for mobile phone, why did they go for 'Handy'?

  36. #5186
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Did anyone see Starkey's hour on Martin Luther? Sneaky Saxon cunts.

    EDIT: I actually really like him, despite being a total political mysoginist racist dinosaur.

  37. #5187
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I liked him talking over the talking heads he had assembled.

  38. #5188
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Did anyone see Starkey's hour on Martin Luther? Sneaky Saxon cunts.

    EDIT: I actually really like him, despite being a total political mysoginist racist dinosaur.
    You’re so hard on yourself.

  39. #5189
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    My dealers phone is off. Which >3pm means he's probably been picked up and deported. Balls. I hate having to find new people.

  40. #5190
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    You’re one cool little wigga bro.

  41. #5191
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My dealer's phone is off too, but that's probably because the Nasdaq doesn't open until later.

  42. #5192
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    My dealers phone is off. Which >3pm means he's probably been picked up and deported. Balls. I hate having to find new people.
    Why do you only have one?

  43. #5193
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I have one and then a few friends who get from others. I prefer reliability to quality so if you're going to have average stuff but can meet me within an hour of me texting you and actually turn up on time. You're my man.

  44. #5194
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adamski View Post
    You’re one cool little wigga bro.
    Bad day at the office bro?

  45. #5195
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    The stupid printer being incapable of doing simple shit.

  46. #5196
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Bad day at the office bro?
    On a fabulous family holiday, bro.

  47. #5197
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adamski View Post
    You’re one cool little wigga bro.
    Are you implying I smoke weed because I want to be black?

  48. #5198
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Are you implying I smoke weed because I want to be black?
    No, your dress sense implies that well enough.

  49. #5199
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Can it really be that fabulous if you are still browsing/posting on here?

  50. #5200
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adamski View Post
    On a fabulous family holiday, bro.
    Say no more. Thoughts are with you.

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