[FOOTBALL] Weekend Football Thread - 14th/15th/16th May

[Weaver]

Saturday
Derby vs Hull City - Championship Play Off Semi, Sky Sports, 12:30

Barnsley vs Walsall - League One Play Off Semi, Sky Sports, 17:30

AFC Wimbledon vs Accrington Stanley - League Two Play Off Semi, Sky Sports, 19:30

Bayern Munich vs Hannover - BT Sport, 14:30
Werder Bremen vs Frankfurt - ESPN, 14:30
Deportivo vs Real Madrid and Granada vs Barcelona - Sky Sports, 16:00
Juventus vs Sampdoria - BT Sport, 16:00
Athletic Bilbao vs Sevilla and Atletico Madrid vs Celta Vigo - Sky Sports, 18:30
AC Milan vs Roma, Napoli vs Frosinone and Sassuolo vs Inter - BT Sport, 19:45

Sunday
Arsenal vs Aston Villa
Chelsea vs Leicester City
Everton vs Norwich City
Manchester United vs Bournemouth - Sky Sports
Newcastle vs Spurs
Southampton vs Crystal Palace
Stoke City vs West Ham - Sky Sports
Swansea City vs Man City - Sky Sports
Watford vs Sunderland
West Brom vs Liverpool

Bradford vs Millwall - League One Play Off Semi, 12:15

Plymouth (2) vs Portsmouth (2) - League Two Play Off Semi, 18:00

Celtic vs Motherwell - Sky Sports, 12:30
Braga vs Sporting Lisbon and Benfica vs Nacional - BT Sport, 17:00
Gijon vs Villarreal and two other La Liga games - Sky Sports, 18:30

Monday
Brighton (0) vs Sheffield Wednesday (2) - Championship Play Off Semi, 19:45

[Kikó]

All about Benfica tomorrow. Win and they win the league, draw and Sporting win, they lose on head to head.

United to draw 0-0.

[Ian]

I'm off to Partick vs. Hamilton today.

What a game it's going to be.

[John Arne]

I'm off to Sai Gon v FLC Thanh Hoa soon. Hopefully more than 4,000 turn up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

La Liga's final weekend scheduling - given that all round 37 fixtures were played at the same time - is one of life's great mysteries.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm off to Partick vs. Hamilton today.

What a game it's going to be.

I saw someone tweet that everyone attending gets a free photo of the Partick Thistle team thus:



What a souvenir you shall have.

[mo]

Lol at Sky trying to big up the final Prem fixtures. Bless them, they have to try I suppose.

[Mellberg]

Finally, it's nearly over

[randomlegend]

All about Benfica tomorrow. Win and they win the league, draw and Sporting win, they lose on head to head.

United to draw 0-0.

When/why did this obsession with Benfica start?

[phonics]

His fiancee is a portugeezer.

[phonics]

View Tweet

[Davgooner]

Tomorrow will be good.

Eyes right, skin back tight, bollocks to the front...

[phonics]

Tomorrow will be good.

Eyes right, skin back tight, bollocks to the front...

13-0?

[Mellberg]

Enjoy the game, lads. I'm gonna go fishing or something.

[Shindig]

View Tweet

Why? He hasn't signed that extension to his contract to immediately retire. Why not lead England out in the Euros, John? Pillock.

[John Arne]

I'm off to Sai Gon v FLC Thanh Hoa soon. Hopefully more than 4,000 turn up.

Half time, 1-0 Saigon.

About 7,500 in the ground - however, 3,000-4,000 are Thanh Hoa fans, which considering they are about 900 miles away is quite a turn out.

[Lewis]

I saw someone tweet that everyone attending gets a free photo of the Partick Thistle team thus:



What a souvenir you shall have.

Him next to the 'keeper wants to know what time you call this.

[Lewis]

Mauled by the Tigers.

[Lee]

Fuck off Hull.

[Reg]

I don't know if I've seen four players of the same team go off injured. Still have a chance though, we can beat Wednesday by two goals at home.

[Lewis]

Hull are such a pointless club.

[Reg]

I'd missed that Totti has a year extension. He'll earn 1.1m euro.

[Ian]

I saw someone tweet that everyone attending gets a free photo of the Partick Thistle team thus:



What a souvenir you shall have.

Never got mine. I've been robbed.

2-2 so far.

[Disco]

They seem weirdly spread out for a team photo, as if they're about to be joined by Mr Motivator for a morning routine.

[Davgooner]

Not Hull, for fuck sake.

[Mellberg]

I'd love it to be Hull. Want Wednesday, Brighton and Derby in the Championship next year.

[Lewis]

Derby look a bit rubbish. Do they play Good Football, or have they just BOTTLED this?

[Giggles]

Hull = Burnley =

[Lewis]

The Decline of the North. Stick it up your arse, Gary Neville.

[Samadini]

40 seconds in and the Women's FA Cup final is already a shambles.

[neo_hippy]

I don't know if I've seen four players of the same team go off injured. Still have a chance though, we can beat Wednesday by two goals at home.

You haven't scored any goals in 270 minutes against them so far this season. What makes you think with a less than full strength team you can score 3 goals in 90 minutes?

[Lewis]

That was comprehensive. Hull first becoming half-decent over a decade over coincided with United having that weird shitty patch, and loads of United fans at school suddenly realised the superior virtue of supporting your local team, so this seems like a good time to make the move myself.

[Raoul Duke]

Beast of a goal in the Women's FA Cup. Bit like that Harry Kane one against Arsenal.

[Waffdon]

Andy Robertson

[Magic]

I'd missed that Totti has a year extension. He'll earn 1.1m euro.

Not surprising he absolutely dons it every time he comes off the bench. Why he isn't starting is a mystery.

[phonics]

Not surprising he absolutely dons it every time he comes off the bench. Why he isn't starting is a mystery.

Because he's 95 years old and wouldn't last 90 minutes?

[Magic]

He'd last more than the 5 minutes he gets, moronics. Every Roma game I've watched he's changed.

[Lewis]

I remember when 'Mr. Capello' used Del Piero as an impact sub, and he seemed to be coming off the bench every week and bailing them out with free-kicks and that, normally after 'Zlatan' had spent the game wasting them. He must have only been about thirty then though, but it probably added three seasons to his dope-addled balsa legs, so well done both.

[phonics]

He'd last more than the 5 minutes he gets, moronics. Every Roma game I've watched he's changed.

It's almost like he's playing against 10 other people that have spent the last 70 minutes running around.

[Magic]

It's almost like he's playing against 10 other people that have spent the last 70 minutes running around.

It's almost like you don't understand football.

[Lewis]

Il Fitness Advantissimo, as we say down the futsal.

[phonics]

It's almost like you don't understand football.

[gyfcat]LiquidEmptyAfricanharrierhawk[/gyfcat]

[Reg]

You haven't scored any goals in 270 minutes against them so far this season. What makes you think with a less than full strength team you can score 3 goals in 90 minutes?

We haven't got to score 3 in regular time. There's no spell against us scoring versus them; we were 15 points stronger in the league. And I doubt we'll have four going off injured on Monday.

[Magic]

Il Fitness Advantissimo, as we say down the futsal.

He's certainly not a plodder. His touch and vision are unreal compared to some of the shit in Serie A. As I said, well worth 60 minutes.

[phonics]

But he'd have 60 minutes against people at normal fitness levels rather than 30 against players below that par. Enabling his touch and vision to take him further... Fitness isn't just a physical issue.

[Magic]

But he'd have 60 minutes against people at normal fitness levels rather than 30 against players below that par. Enabling his touch and vision to take him further... Fitness isn't just a physical issue.

This isn't FM, mate.

[Lewis]

Ronaldo is on one, and he would be well within his rights to have 'Rafa' killed.

[Vim]

As long as Roma keep Totti, they won't win anything. When your best player is a forty year-old and you're relying on him to save every match off the bench, you are not going to go anywhere.

[SincereTheRebel]

It was either euro 2000 or 2004 but in one of them, totti was playing through balls from his own penatly area and gilardino was running onto them in a flash.

[Magic]

As long as Roma keep Totti, they won't win anything. When your best player is a forty year-old and you're relying on him to save every match off the bench, you are not going to go anywhere.

Well why don't they just keep him and not buy fucking cunts with mongol haircuts?